Archive | August, 2012

NEWS: Arby’s New Turkey Roasters Are Gobble Gobble Gobble (Good Mood Food in Turkey Speak)

Written by | August 31, 2012

Topics: Arby's, Fast Food

Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich

Update: Click here to read our Arby’s Grand Turkey Club Turkey Roaster review

I remember when Arby’s was only known for roast beef and curly fries? I. Am. Old. Turkey has slowly become just as prominent as roast beef on the Arby’s menu board.

QSR Magazine:

Turkey Roasters are served hot and feature oven-roasted turkey that is thinly sliced each day in the restaurants.

There are three varieties to choose from:

Grand Turkey Club – Sliced roast turkey with melted Swiss cheese, pepper bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayo on a toasted harvest wheat bun

Turkey ‘n Cheddar Classic – Thinly sliced oven-roasted turkey topped with cheddar cheese and zesty Red Ranch sauce on a toasted onion roll

Turkey Classic – Thinly sliced oven-roasted turkey on a toasted sesame seed bun

A Turkey Classic has 290 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 1020 milligrams of sodium, and 24 grams of protein. A Turkey ‘n Cheddar Classic has 450 calories, 12 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1480 milligrams of sodium, and 27 grams of protein. A Grand Turkey Club has 490 calories, 24 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 1440 milligrams of sodium, and 29 grams of protein.

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NEWS: Live Más in the Morning With a Taco Bell A.M. Crunchwrap

Written by | August 31, 2012

Topics: Fast Food, Taco Bell

Sunrise (Medellín)

Taco Bell’s new A.M. Crunchwrap is exactly how I imagined it in my greasy dreams. Sadly, only available at Taco Bell locations that offer breakfast, which is zero here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Lisa Jennings, writing for Nation’s Restaurant News:

The new breakfast version features scrambled eggs, cheese and a choice of bacon or sausage instead of beef. And in place of the crispy inner tostada shell, the A.M. Crunchwrap features a hash brown patty. Those ingredients are then wrapped in a soft flour tortilla and grilled.

I can’t wait see what I dream of the next time I eat a Taco Bell FourthMeal and fall asleep soon after.

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REVIEW: Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter

Written by | August 31, 2012

Topics: 7 Rating, Condiment, Peanut Butter, Planters

Planters NUT-rition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter

I think Planters should consider renaming their NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter to NUTrition Elvis Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter in honor of the King’s love of peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Also, to see if anyone calls the phone number on the bottle to ask what little men with pointy ears have to do with this peanut butter.

If Elvis was alive today, I think he might enjoy this peanut butter mixture that includes dried bananas, granola, and peanuts. And for those of you Weekly World News readers who think he’s still alive and living in a cabin in Montana under the name Sivle Yelserp, I’m sure he’s enjoying this peanut butter mixture with bacon…and sharing it with his aliens buddies from the Archon 7 galaxy.

To be honest, it’s refreshing to see a major company like Planters do something different with peanut butter. If you look at the peanut butter section at the grocery store, it appears not a lot of money has been spent on R&D. It’s just a sea of creamy and chunky. With its peanut chunks, crispy granola, and chewy dried bananas, I guess you could call Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter chuewyspy peanut butter.

Having different textures is one of the reasons why I enjoyed Planters’ NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter. But I also enjoyed it because its flavor made me want to put on a sequined jumpsuit, greasy my hair, gyrate my hips hard enough to be censored on a 1950s talk show, and say with a lip snarl, “Thank you very much.” That would’ve happen, but my Bedazzler is out of commission because I overworked it while attempting to put the word “voluptuous” on the back side of a pair of yoga pants, instead of the much shorter “juicy.”

Planters NUT-rition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter Closeup

If you enjoy bananas, I have good news; there’s a little bit of banana flavor in the peanut butter itself. Thankfully, it’s not artificial and it’s not the dominant flavor. I was expecting the added dried banana to be crunchy like banana chips, but was surprised when my molars discovered they were chewy like raisins. As for the granola, well, it’s not really granola. It’s just rice flakes and rice crisps; there aren’t any oats. I’ve eaten enough Nature Valley products to know those two ingredients don’t make granola and I’ve consumed enough Kellogg’s products with cartoon characters on the packaging to know those two ingredients make a breakfast cereal.

With all the mix-ins, you might expect NUTrition Peanut Butter to not be spread-friendly, like chunky peanut butter. But because there wasn’t a dense amount, I found it to be quite spreadable.

Besides not having real granola, another disappointing thing about this peanut butter is that it comes in a 12-ounce jar, which looks dramatically smaller next to the 16- and 18-ounce jars of regular peanut butter. Also, I don’t understand why adding bits of dried banana and rice cereals make the peanut butter an Energy Mix.

Overall, the flavor of Planters’ NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter was a nice departure from plain ol’ peanut butter. It’s quite good and has gotten me curious about the other two Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter flavors — Cinnamon Raisin Granola Nut and Berry Nut.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 tbsp – 190 calories, 120 calories from fat 15 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 7 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Other Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Peanut Butter reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter
Purchased Price: $5.19 (on sale)*
Size: 12 ounce jar
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant combinations of peanut butter and banana. Easier to spread than chunky peanut butter. Nice departure from regular peanut butter. Elvis would like it. Elves would like it too. Bedazzlers.
Cons: Including Elvis references when half the readership doesn’t know who he is. Come in 12-ounce jars. Not sure why it’s called an Energy Mix. Granola isn’t really granola. Broken Bedazzlers.

*According to the press release, a jar of Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter retails for $3.99. I paid more because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

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SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 8/29/2012

Written by | August 29, 2012

Topics: Spotted on Shelves

Here are some new products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up. We’ll also occasionally throw in an unusual product.

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I’m disappointed these weren’t called Sun Chips Mix. What can I say? I’m a sucker for names that rhyme (I’m also a fan alliteration). I find it a little unusual these Sun Snacks Mix-Ups come in sweet flavors since Sun Chips are mostly savory flavors. Although, they did make a mean Cinnamon Sun Chips a few years ago. Thanks for the photo, Adam!

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Ball Park is known for their franks, and now they have a line of frozen products that don’t involve many franks. Frankly, I find that awfully fascinating. (See, I told you I’m a fan of alliteration.) They take minutes to prepare, so if you’re watching a baseball game at home, you’ll have something to do that will help prevent you falling asleep while listening to television baseball announcer banter. Thanks for the photos, Adam!

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Twenty-five percent of my daily value of fiber? Is that the best you can do, Kellogg’s? Most Fiber One snack bars provide 35 percent. I need more fiber to help my digestive Tiber. But not too much fiber because if there’s too much, these bars might also be known as Farty Delights.

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Thanks to baking reality shows, I know what fondant is. Thanks to Betty Crocker, I can pretend to have my own baking reality show and have fondant problems.

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Oh, Guy Fieri. I thought your over bleached spiky hair was the most shocking thing about you. Well, it turns out I was wrong.

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, email it to us at theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com with “Spotted” in the subject line, and you might see it in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

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REVIEW: Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes

Written by | August 28, 2012

Topics: 3 Rating, Cookies, Nabisco, Oreo

Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes

Meet the cookie I am sure Guantanamo Bay serves to its residents.

Nabisco’s Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes.

They do have a coconut-ish flavor. They are delightful, if you enjoy getting punched in the stomach. They are not Oreos. They are indeed fudgy, if waxy chocolate is the definition for fudge. They are not creamy or creme-mey. I could leave it at that and you would know all there is to know about these cookies.

I’m not a cookie whore. When I want something sweet, it’s either chewy Starburst (I prefer the Sugus brand if you can find them in Asian markets) or vermouth. However, I do have a soft spot for sandwich cookies. If you place a Nutter Butter or a no-name lemon sandwich cookie in front of me, I’ll gobble them up shamelessly. I’ll even eat the Dolph Lundgren of Oreos, Hydrox.

When I first heard of these “delights,” I was expecting a normal Oreo cookie with coconut flavored cream in the middle, and then dipped in fudge. Like my parents, expectation leads to disappointment.

So what is this thing Nabisco is doing to an Oreo? The cookie is a single Oreo wafer with coconut cream layered on top and then dipped in chocolate “fudge.” It neither resembles nor performs like the beloved sandwich cookie.

It’s as if Outback Steakhouse came out with a new Aussie cheese fries and they were just stupid ‘ol potato chips with bacon bits sprinkled on top with Greek yogurt plopped thoughtlessly. Boooooo!

That’s not Aussie cheese fries and this is no friggin’ Oreo. I want to twist that cookie and selectively deconstruct it with my tongue as I eat each element separately. I want to dunk it in a cold glass of whole milk. I want to pretend that these things are poker chips as I stack them in edible columns. In short, I want an Oreo.

Not even on Earth-Three where the Justice League is villainous, Wonder Woman is even hotter and the Joker is a good guy, would anybody there consider this an Oreo. I was reluctant to write this review because I had to filter my strong dislike to write something coherent.

My first draft went something like this, “I fucking hate these fucking cookies that are not fucking good at fucking all because they fucking suck the fucking dog’s fucking tongue for fucks sake!”

Yeah, I agree with you… it’s a run on sentence.

Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes Packaging

Upon opening the cookies, you are slapped in the face with this fake buttery smell. It was a bit off-putting but my father-in-law and wife seemed not to mind. I shrugged and hesitated to eat one because of the strange smell.

The coconut creme was nutty and tasted artificial. Furthermore, the white stuff was similar to paste and a bit chalky. I couldn’t stomach the so-called chocolate fudge because it was very plastic and had an excessive fake buttery flavor. It’s akin to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter with its weird, not quite butter smell and flavor.

Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes Closeup

The sole saving grace was the cookie, which was crisp and deep with cocoa flavors.

I was hoping this Oreo would be close to a Mounds candy bar, but the cookie as a whole tasted like an overly-buttery, too-sweet, and nutty mess. I ate a few because I thought maybe the flavors would temper a bit. But nope.

Nabisco also succeeded in creating something with almost every unpleasant texture to mouths everywhere. In fact, if these were soggy, then this depressing cookie would be complete.

I champion Oreos and their foray into assorted flavors, but this specific variety I cannot. My father-in-law devoured them but the poor guy is totally restricted from all things sweet and fatty. Take that for what it’s worth.

I’m all for trying new twists on familiar subjects but more often than not, they fail miserably like the Americanized 1998 Godzilla (who was awesomely killed off in 2004’s Godzilla: Final Wars), but I’m also not for torturing my taste buds. Sorry Nabisco, but we’ll always have the Creamsicle Oreo.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies per serving – 180 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugars, and 1 gram of protein.)

Other Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes reviews:
Fatguy Food Blog
Junk Food Guy
Foodette Reviews

Item: Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 11.3 ounce package
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: The cookie is crisp and definitely chocolate flavored. Cookie whores. Coconut is nutty. Trying to come up with positive things to say about this Oreo variety. American Godzilla getting vaporized by the Godzilla we all know and love. Oreo taking chances on different flavors.
Cons: Waxy chocolate, pasty creme and fake buttery flavor. Trying to find something positive in something terrible. Being restricted from all things sweet and fatty. Earth-Three Lex Luthor sucks.

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