Archive | November, 2012

NEWS: Jack in the Box Adds Brownie Bites To Their Dessert Menu

Written by | November 30, 2012

Topics: Fast Food, Jack in the Box

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Jack in the Box now has another “mini” dessert — Brownie Bites.

The new dessert joins Mini Churros and Mini Cookies in something I call Jack in the Box’s Mini Grub Club. The mini brownies are served warm and, like the Mini Churros and Cookies, will probably be served in the same sleeve that’s used for small fries.

A serving of five Jack in the Box Brownie Bites has 288 calories, 13 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 44 milligrams of cholesterol, 159 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Right now, you can get a serving of five Brownie Bites for one dollar at participating locations. Non-participating locations definitely include those in Palm Springs, Santa Barbara, Laredo, or McAllen/Brownsville, which won’t get Jack in the Box’s Brownie Bites at all.

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SPOTTED ON SHELVES (HOLIDAY EDITION) – 11/30/2012

Written by | November 30, 2012

Topics: Spotted on Shelves

Here are some new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

Pepperidge Farm Snickerdoodle

Holy moly, Pepperidge Farm! Only now you’re coming out with a snickerdoodle. That’s super-duper, but it looks like someone’s been dilly-dallying. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

Yoplait Apple Crisp Yogurt

I have to admit, staring at this picture of Yoplait Apple Crisp yogurt is making me crave so hard for some apple crisp dessert. Heck, I’m so desperate for some apple crisp in my mouth that I’ll settle for Yoplait Apple Crisp yogurt. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

Nestle Coffeemate Pecan Praline

Do you like adding a bit of creamy Coffee-mate holiday spirit to your coffee, but are tired of their Pumpkin Spice, Peppermint Mocha, and Warm Cinnamon Sugar Cookie flavors? Well, my caffeinated friend, you now can make your crappy office coffee taste like pecan pralines. Merry Christmas! (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

Little Debbiee Santa Brownies

Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes

Brownies that looks like Santa and cakes that look like Christmas trees? All Little Debbie needs to make now are cookies that look like iPads so that one could make a holiday diorama with a Santa Brownie putting a iPad cookie under a Christmas Tree Cake. (Santa Brownies spotted by Kenneth at Target. Christmas Tree Cakes spotted by Dan at Giant.)

Lindt Double Milk

That teddy bear is totally hardcore! Instead of getting a “Thug Life” tattoo on its belly it got a Lindt tattoo. LYNDT4LYFE! (Spotted by Kenneth at Walgreens.)

If you’re out shopping and see a new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

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REVIEW: White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s

Written by | November 29, 2012

Topics: 8 Rating, Candy, M&M's, Mars

White Chocolate Peppermint M&M's

When I bite into a White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s, I get the sensation that I’ve just stepped out of the shower and into a freezer.

My nipples perk out and other body parts perk in. Every hair on my body stands up and every muscle in my body twitches uncontrollably in response to the cold environment. Then, when I can feel my organs failing, I think to myself, “So this is what it’s like to die on Mount Everest.”

But then I realize, just like in the York Peppermint Patty commercials, what I’m feeling is a complete exaggeration in my head and is no where close to what it actually feels like to take a bite into any peppermint chocolate candy. And it turns out all I’m really doing is standing naked in front of a window on a breezy day.

However, when I bite into a White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s a second time, I get the sensation of sadness because I realize this tasty seasonal candy won’t be available come January or February, unless I’m willing to pay anywhere from $9.99 to $15.99 for a bag from an avaricious eBay or Amazon Marketplace seller.

These new minty M&M’s are great, but not $9.99 great.

Although that sadness could taste significantly less bitter if I became an avaricious eBay or Amazon Marketplace seller who gouged desperate souls wanting hard-to-find candy.

White Chocolate Peppermint M&M's Closeup

After opening the bag of White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s, my olfaction was greeted with a blast of mint. It was as if someone stuck the hook end of two candy canes up my nostrils in order to drag me away. The minty M&M’s were coated with either red or white candy shells and are noticeably larger than regular M&M’s, but slightly smaller than Peanut M&M’s.

So how pepperminty are these M&M’s? Well, let’s just say that, in a pinch, I would pop a couple in my mouth to freshen my breath so I can invade someone’s personal space. They’re also minty enough that a cooling sensation lingered in my mouth for a while after eating them. The White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s tasted slightly more minty than sweet and I found them to be much more satisfying than the other minty M&M’s — mint milk chocolate and mint dark chocolate.

However, all is not perfect with this candy.

First, I don’t like how these white chocolate M&M’s tend to “sweat” when in slightly warm temperatures, making their candy shells a little greasy. Although that might be my fault for living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Also, while these White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s are really wonderful, I find them to be like dense cheesecake in that it’s hard to eat a lot of them. I want to eat more, but I can’t.

If you’re a fan of peppermint, I’d highly suggest heading down to your local Target to pick up a bag (It’s a Target exclusive). Or if you want to be an eBay or Amazon Marketplace seller who charges unreasonable prices for hard-to-find candy, head to every Target within driving distance to pick up every single bag you can find.

(Nutrition Facts – 1.5 ounces – 220 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 27 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and 4% calcium.)

Other White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s reviews:
Candyblog
Spoil Your Dinner
Fatguy Food Blog

Item: White Chocolate Peppermint M&M’s
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 9.90 ounce bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful. Best mint M&M’s ever. More minty than sweet. Works as a mint in a pinch. Making money by selling bags of M&M’s for $15.99 on eBay and Amazon Marketplace.
Cons: Candy shell gets greasy in warm temperatures. Target exclusive. Hard to chain eat them. Seasonal item. eBay and Amazon Marketplace sellers who charge $15.99 for a bag of M&M’s.

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REVIEW: Taco Bell XXL Steak Nachos

Written by | November 28, 2012

Topics: 4 Rating, Fast Food, Taco Bell

Taco Bell XXL Steak Nachos

XXL may be the shirt size you’ll wear if you eat Taco Bell’s new XXL Steak Nachos everyday. Also, the colors your bowels will release after eating one will probably rival a Dario Argento horror classic.

XXL is an appropriate description for these steak nachos. The damn box it comes in is a foot long! The thing weighs almost a pound!! When the drive-thru lady handed the nachos over to me, she had to bend her arm slightly!!! I have penis envy looking at the length of this container!!!!! How many exclamation points can I stuff in this paragraph?!!!!

Taco Bell XXL Steak Nachos Box

I felt like I was buying a box of cereal from Taco Bell, that’s how mammoth the plastic container was. I know I’m supposed to talk about the food but I was obsessed how large this was. I felt like Dr. Michio Kaku pointing out, “Here’s our sun and now here’s our sun compared to a red giant!” My wife and I were stunned at the size of it as it sat imposingly on our coffee table.

Some of the promotion materials urge you to “Dig in.”

With what? A shovel?

I’m going to describe this as eloquently as I can because I’m guessing the photos cannot do any better than my words. The blobs of sour cream and guacamole look small because they are dwarfed by the amount of tortilla chips you get.

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First, you have a heap (imagine Linus jumping in a pile of raked leaves kinda-heap) of warm tortilla chips. Then a plop of refried beans mixed in, followed by another larger plop of Velveeta-like nacho cheese, then an ice cream scoop plop of suspiciously bright green guacamole, followed by another plop of low-fat sour cream (Low fat? Does it really matter now, Taco Bell?), then a modest amount of pico de gallo, a conservative dash of shredded cheese, and a paltry amount of steak. It’s sort of like a food bell curve or an edible example of diminishing returns.

Nachos are one of the comfiest foods I can think of, right up there with cheese fries. They taste awesome when you’re sitting on the couch alone. They work just as well as communal food when you’re watching a game with your friends at a wing house. And I suppose…perfect for a party, if you’re throwing a nachos kind of party, which I never do. I feel nachos are a sacred dish and while the preparation is simple, it’s just as easy to fuck up.

I hate to say this folks, but what we have here is a gigantic pile of fuck up.

First, I’m not a fan of this nacho Velveeta-like cheese, but even with that, the consistency should be velvety and smooth. Like most things fun and dirty, the right viscosity is important. My cheese was dribbly and wet. The chips soon drooped as the cheese engulfed them slowly. I’m not even sure why there are little flecks of real cheese except to cheese-tease me with what this could have been. The sprinkling of the cheese was sparse; I think I only got two of the supposed three cheese blend.

Taco Bell XXL Steak Nachos Closeup

However, I’m enamored with Taco Bell’s sour cream. I could write whole sonnets and monologues on this stuff or as I’ve declared before, brush my teeth with it. Yet, the consistency of the sour cream on my nachos were also too wet. The guacamole tasted slightly off, almost metallic, like the tub of green stuff you buy in the supermarket because you’re too impatient to wait for that Hass avocado to ripen.

Taco Bell XXL Steak Nachos Guac Closeup

The duo of these wet globs weighed on the nachos so much that it transformed into a piss poor cheese soup. Honestly, the flavors were just okay but they overwhelmed the pico de gallo which was easy to do since the amount of pico had no chance in the guac and sour cream storm. Oh, but I haven’t even gotten to the star of the XXL nachos, the steak.

I love red meat. I love steak. I will eat the hell out of a rare steak. I’ve drunkenly eaten a raw NY strip out of the fridge twice. I dream of those cartoons where they would tantalize a rabid dog with those oversized T-bone steaks. I’m also a realist, and I know the steak you’re going to get at Taco Bell is not one you would even get at a Perkins diner.

Even with my expectations lower than my father’s credibility, I was floored. You know those beef nuggets you can buy in that slick pouch by the beef jerky section? The steak had the texture and tasted just like it. It was as if the Taco Bell guy back there shook the remaining amount out of his bag he was eating from. There was an artificial smokiness, which I guess supplanted the grilled flavor. Also, thankfully in this case, there were so few of these nuggets. Or maybe they got lost in the condiments. It seems XXL does not mean the quantity of beef on these extra extra large nachos.

All the flavors together did not mesh well either. The artificial smoke from the steak and subpar guacamole ruined it. It was like sucking on pennies and chewing on Slim Jims. I’m all for fast food that is bad for you, but not fast food that tastes bad.

Now one good thing, besides never ordering these again, was the tortilla chips. These familiar triangles were warm, salty, and crispy until the tsunami of condiments drowned them. I’m all for slothsome gluttony, which we just experienced for Thanksgiving (unless you were the ones who stood in line to save $50 to buy a tablet so you can play Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja 3), but who likes to over-indulge if it’s mediocre?

I think the adjective Taco Bell uses, XXL, primes you for up for a good time with these nachos. It’s just too bad because these left me XXL disappointed, just like my imposing family does every Thanksgiving.

(Nutritional Facts – 1160 calories, 61 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 70 mg of cholesterol, 2140 mg of sodium, 115 grams of carbohydrates, 16 grams of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein.)

Other Taco Bell XXL Steak Nachos reviews:
Brand Eating
The Smidview
Man Reviews Food

Item: Taco Bell XXL Steak Nachos
Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: A huge box
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: The chips were warm and seasoned well. The box was amusing. Perfect viscosity. Comfort foods. Wing houses. Beef jerky nuggets, just not in my nachos. Dr. Michio Kaku and Perkins diners, together in one place.
Cons: Condiments didn’t hold up and made the chips droopy. Metallic tasting guacamole. Wrong viscosity. Tired of Black Friday updates on the news Thanksgiving night…enough already!

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SPOTTED ON SHELVES (HOLIDAY EDITION) – 11/28/2012

Written by | November 28, 2012

Topics: Spotted on Shelves

Here are some new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

Swedish Fish Candy Canes

There are now Swedish Fish Candy Canes. Or, if you turn them over, hooks to catch Swedish Fish. (Spotted by Britt at RiteAid.)

Gingerbread Peeps

Holy crap! I just realized something. If we stopped celebrating holidays, the holiday-happy makers of Peeps, Just Born, would probably go out of business. I just blew my mind, but not like how a Peep blows up when heated in a microwave oven. (Spotted by Linda at Target.)

Candy Cane Milanos

Mini candy canes make wonderful Christmas tree ornaments. Pepperidge Farm Candy Cane Milano Minis make wonderful Christmas gifts for acquaintances who surprised you with a gift. Acquaintances you don’t really want to reciprocate with, but guilt the inside you builds up to the point where you feel you have to buy them something. Spoil Your Dinner has a review. (Spotted by Linda at Target.)

TimTams at Target

Tim Tams, Australia’s Favorite Cookies, are back again until March or when your local Target runs out of them. (Spotted by Linda at Target.)

M&M's Milk Chocolate Orange

Milk Chocolate Orange M&M’s totally sound like an appropriate candy for this time of year. Fatguy Food Blog has a review.
(Spotted by Kenneth at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see a new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

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