Is there something about chocolate and volcanoes that I should know about?
First, Domino’s came out with their Chocolate Lava Crunch Cake. Arby’s followed with the Chocolate Molten Lava Cake. Now, Burger King has new Molten Fudge Bites. Listen, fast food marketers. Volcanoes are scary. Just look at Pompeii.
Well, at least Burger King stayed away from the direct implications of lava. They describe their Molten Fudge Bites as “warm, bite-sized treats featuring a fudge-brownie outside and creamy molten chocolate filling on the inside. Served hot and finished off with a dusting of powdered sugar.”
Hey BK, you need to decide if these Bites are warm or hot. You can sugar coat it (sorry) all you want, but your own marketing has led me to believe that your Molten Fudge Bites want to squirt hot chocolate filling into my mouth that sticks like napalm and leaves me screaming and reeling around my house in agony.
Okay, so that’s not really true. I wasn’t afraid of these Molten Fudge Bites for two reasons: one, I’ve eaten a Hot Pocket straight out of the microwave before, so my mouth has already experienced the feeling of screaming-hot fillings fused to my tongue, and two, the only time a fast food item has actually burned my mouth has been either coffee or french fries, no matter their claims of warm or hot.
I also had this weird vision of the chocolate squirting into my mouth like the liquid center of a piece of Freshen-Up gum, which I couldn’t decide if I would like or hate.
Coming in a group of four packaged in the paper sleeve usually reserved for sissy-sized french fries, these little guys were plump and about the size of a half-dollar. Nobody knows what a half-dollar looks like anymore, making this analogy completely worthless, so let’s just say they were the perfect size to bite in half, or shove the whole thing in your mouth if you have a giant maw.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that my Fudge Bites were, indeed, warm. I was more afraid they’d be cold as opposed to mouth-scorching hot. Each bite also had an aesthetically pleasing dusting of powdered sugar on it.
Upon biting one in half, my mouth was flooded with rich chocolate. I was surprised at the amount of layers Molten Fudge Bites had; the gooey inside dominated, filling my mouth with chocolate fudge that was very rich and not at all artificial-tasting. The outer “fudge-brownie” shell was pretty thin, and while the strength of the chocolate filling canceled out most of the shell’s taste, it added a surprising amount of crunch to compliment all that goo. I would liken it to the crunchy edge of a pan of brownies, which everyone knows is the best part, especially given the proliferation of “all edge” brownie pans now available.
Powdered sugar has a distinctive yet delicate flavor, and I found that if I popped a whole Fudge Bite into my mouth, you couldn’t detect the flavor at all, but if I bit a Bite in half, the sugar coated my lips, which made for a nice finishing flavor when I licked my lips. I would suggest that this is how you eat Molten Fudge Bites, as long as you don’t mind looking like the character Tyrone Biggums from Chappelle’s Show.
Despite all my huffing and puffing about volcanoes and the like, I really wasn’t expecting anything special from Burger King’s Molten Fudge Bites. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they had a depth of flavor, from the gooey, fully-fudge-flavored inside to the crunchy brownie outside that worked so well with the goo. The powdered sugar seemed like an afterthought, but when eaten in two bites, it did contribute to the flavor.
My biggest complaint about Molten Fudge Bites is that they are so very, very rich. That fudge filling ain’t playin’ – imagine eating a spoonful of fudge ice cream topping straight from the jar and then biting into a brownie. Repeat that three more times.
If you’re a really serious chocoholic, four of these Molten Fudge Bites will definitely satisfy your cocoa craving. I myself was more than satisfied after two, yet felt obligated to eat all four, which left me feeling like I had turned into a fudge golem.
(Nutrition Facts – 4 bites – 330 calories, 17 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 19 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)
Item: Burger King Molten Fudge Bites
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 4 bites
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Chocolate fudge filling was gooey and non-artificial. Old-school liquid-squirting gum. Bites were actually warm. Will satisfy chocoholics. Outside was pleasantly crunchy. Powdered sugar was a nice touch. Fudge golems.
Cons: Too rich for some people’s tastes. Looking like Tyrone the Crackhead. Even four pieces still seemed like too much. Volcanoes.