REVIEW: Fiber One 80 Calories Chocolate Squares Cereal

Fiber One Chocolate Cereal

What would happen if we all suddenly transformed into moose?

Well, aside from getting really huge noses and roaming freely between the Alaska-Canadian border, we would have the opportunity to consume about 9770 calories a day, a diet likely involving some grains seeing as we would no longer have the benefit of opposable thumbs and thus, would be shoveling our long noses into big bags of grains.

If this moose transformation were to happen now, we’d be in luck as a cornucopia of grainy goodies seems to be trundling down the production line of Kellogg’s, Post, and General Mills, all ripe for the tasting. Next in line? Fiber One Chocolate Squares.

This is a curious concept to me. Cereal that consists of chocolate and fiber doesn’t easily connect as one idea in my brain. They seem like two separate identities of cereals: one for Saturday morning cartoons and the other for the rest of the time. The thought of combining them is kind of like getting a six-man toboggan stuck in a tree in the middle of June: it doesn’t quite make sense, but sometimes 1) it doesn’t matter if it makes sense and 2) you just gotta trust that maybe it will over time. So I’m going to trust the General.

Fiber One Chocolate Cereal Look at all the fiber in that bowl

Upon pouring out the first handful, the little squares show a hopeful shade of cocoa brown (more specifically, “Russet Tone” in accordance with the paint sample book at Home Depot). They look like the wood chips my dad used to throw in the smoker and seem equally as sturdy, so you could probably reconstruct a full-scale model of the Eiffel Tower with them.

I, unfortunately, don’t have the architectural skills to reconstruct the Eiffel Tower with cereal product, so I ate them instead. On first shovelful, they’ve got a solid crisp. The chocolate is subtle, with the familiar chalky cocoa taste of Nesquik or Ovaltine. A sweeter (corn) bran somethin’ somethin’ comes in at the very end. I had intended for this to be my dessert, but, with its nostalgic powdered-chocolate-milk-and-cereal taste, could imagine it for breakfast. It holds a very delicate flavor. Delicate like antique chandeliers.

Sadly, that delicacy breaks apart when submerged in milk as any the sugary goodness dissolves. It’s like the little grains tried to dress up but then lost their tux and tails on the sidewalk. However, I know there’s a camp of people who love the sensation of cereal milk. If you are one such human, you may find you enjoy this in milk as its sturdy bran stands up for a good amount of time. The cocoa, however, still isn’t very strong, so the milk doesn’t taste so much of cocoa as it does of corn bran pulp. I’ll allow you to decipher for yourself whether you wish to embark on such an eating experience.

With Cocoa Krispies and Cocoa Puffs currently dominating the chocolate cereal market, the square is a welcome variation from the dominant geometrical experience of the most popular chocolate cereals. It broadens my mind to ask: what else could this cereal be? Would it make for a good ice cream topper? Or a pie crust? Or perhaps the medium for an installation piece at the MoMA? Imagine the possibilities.

Fiber One Chocolate Cereal A square of potential

You can be whatever you wanna be, little square (positive reinforcement).

My college roommate used to tell me to start my New Year’s Resolutions on solid knees. I’m not quite sure what that means, but I have a feeling that the 40 percent of the calcium provided within this box of chocolate squares will keep my knees in-check. Plus, they’ve got fiber and don’t taste like vitamins and minerals. That’s a hurdle and they’ve crossed it in well my book.

On the whole, while not spectacular, these were good for munching. I had hope for a deeper, more woodsy cocoa flavor, but, hey, let me not go all catawampus over my own nit-picky preferences. I enjoyed this enough. Is it the best chocolate cereal? Not for me, but it does provide something pretty innovative and pretty tasty and that’s pretty good for today.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 80 calories, 10 calories from fat 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 105 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Fiber One 80 Calories Chocolate Squares Cereal
Purchased Price: $2.97 (on sale)
Size: 11.75 ounce box
Purchased at: Harris Teeter
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good size. Solid structure. Cocoa flavor. Doesn’t taste like vitamins and minerals. Lots of calcium. Solid knees. Antique chandeliers. Turning into a moose.
Cons: Cocoa flavor too delicate. Not much better in milk. Corn bran pulp. Getting a toboggan stuck in a tree. Not being equipped with architectural skills.

7 thoughts to “REVIEW: Fiber One 80 Calories Chocolate Squares Cereal”

  1. DO NOT EXCEED 3/4 cup either… I had a heaping bowl and about 3 hours later sounded like the bass thumping mothership on “Close Encounters Of The 3rd Kind”. The fiber content of this stuff is just below raw twine.

  2. This has been my go-to cereal since I got serious dieting, and its worked pretty well for me. 3/4 of a cup is kind of ridiculous (but its the standard for the “no one actually eats this serving size” cereal default), so I eat about a cup and a half a pop. I find it goes particularly well with berries, and stands up to the milk really well. Its not the most chocolately-chocolate you could ever have as the reviewer notes, but its still not bad.

  3. I love it without milk. I drink a tall glass of ice water after I eat the cereal and im full for hours! It satisfied my sweet tooth.

  4. I was so excited to see this on the “Closeout” shelf at my grocer. Now I know why. It was okay, at best. But it reminded me of a chunky protein shake. The cereal was tasty enough but when the cocoa dissolved into the milk, it became chalky. I’ll stick to Special K with chocolate for now…

  5. I think I’m a pretty funny writer, so I’m rarely amused by others. Your review is a hoot, however. I will tag you as a favorite and look forward to being regularly amused. Or at least amused once in a while and just… regular. Thanks for the vote of confidence in my new fave dessert/source of fiber, you hoot, you. Toboggan… ha! Nobody wears those anymore…

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