REVIEW: Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar

Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar

This morning I cracked open a fortune cookie (I tend to eschew traditional breakfasts for whatever happens to be in my car). The fortune read “All progress occurs because people dare to be different.” It made me ponder if the fortune tellers had encountered the Oreo Big Crunch Bar, as the product’s differences from its namesake served as deterrents to my enjoyment.

Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar 2

My expectations for a “Big Crunch” were set immediately due to the naming contrivances employed. In the wake of snagging mini chocolate bars from my kids’ Halloween stashes last month, I felt foolish sitting alone in a room with this massive product — it was clearly meant to be consumed by a lacrosse team or a car full of clowns. Big, and then some, and then some more.

Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar 4

Conversely, I’m not quite sure about the crunch factor also used in the product’s moniker. The 2 to 1 ratio we are accustomed to with Oreo cookies has been replaced with a 1 to 4 ratio — Milka chocolate on the top and bottom, plus creme on BOTH the bottom and top of one layer of cookie. To further uncrunchify the bar, pools of creme and chocolate sans cookie occur in the corners.

One additional misconception furthered by the partnership with Oreo is that the creme inside the candy bar is going to be the same found in an Oreo. The familiar grainy texture has been replaced with something sweeter, smoother, and unfamiliar. It’s not bad but certainly unexpected.

Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar 3

Differences aside, the first bites of Oreo BCB were enjoyable. It reminded me of an improved version of my least favorite Oreo incarnation, the insanely sweet White Fudge covered Oreos. Here the ratio of chocolate did not appear to be as overwhelming at first and had a pleasant taste, but consuming more lead quickly to sweetness fatigue.

Overall, this was probably not the reaction that Milka was hoping for when combining two hallmark products. Lacking in crunch or Oreo-ness, being big just isn’t enough. “One must fulfill what they intend to be” is the more telling fortune in this case, and Milka seems to have missed by quite a bit on that prophesy.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 pieces – 230 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 10.5 oz. bar
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Hulking size. Improvement on Fudge-covered Oreo concept. Some Cookies N’ Cream overtones. The best fortune I ever read: “You like Chinese food.”
Cons: Crunch is suppressed. Creme is not “that” creme. Far sweeter than necessary. The worst fortune I ever made up: “Those who can cook, do. Those who cannot write food reviews.”

15 thoughts to “REVIEW: Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar”

    1. Yeah, the clown that wrote this has no clue what he’s talking about. This chocolate bar was amazing! Put it in the freezer for a bit, and it’s even better.

  1. I agree, entirely. The cream has a sour, yogurt-like flavor and the chocolate is milky, smooth and cloyingly sweet.

    It not only shares nothing in common with the flavor profile of an Oreo but may in fact be the polar OPPOSITE of an Oreo’s dark, borderline-bitter cocoa flavored cookies, and sweet, vanilla flavored creme.

    It’s a tasty enough treat, but ill-deserving the Oreo name and deserves to be judged accordingly.

    1. to be fair: you describe milka choclate pretty good xD

      So what exactly did you expect the “milka” part to be here? I mean it’s a Milka Bar with Oreo Flavor and not a Oreo Chocolate Bar that was manufactured and released just by Nabisco/Oreo and has no distinctive chocolate taste from begin with…
      So… what to expect? If you’re lucky it’s Milka Chocolate (and the characteristic taste of Milka Chocolate), cookie crumbles that are made out of the real oreo cookies and a cream filling that taste almost like the real deal…
      So if the crumbles are made of real oreo cookies or taste like them, the cream has the oreo flavor and the chocolate taste like milka chocolate, then Milka did everything right. (And if e.g. the cream does’t hit the spot, that is what you can complain about)

      Though i’ve to admit that i can understand were you are coming from since i got disappointed by every sweet that put oreo on their boxes (except for one! The popsicle ice cream here in germany ^^). They’re always lacking the distinctive and the loved Oreo flavor. But that is maybe the deal. I mean the collaboration is more about getting two products together and trying to put two flavors into one “new” product and not about just reshaping one of the products.

      SO long story short: If you want oreos and the flavor: eat oreos. if you want oreo flavor packed in milka chocolate and mixed with the chocolates distinctive flavor: try Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar.
      If the least fails to deliver what they promised: complain. If not: don’t complain about the promised milka chocolate or the combination of the oreo flavors and the flavor of the milka chocolate doesn’t taste exactly like an oreo cookie 🙂

      One last thing: I don’t want to be offensive here and if you are offended, i’m really really sorry! But i don’t know how to put my thoughts into more polite words without them loosing their meaning (and yes, i’m not native english speaker so… cut me some slack please!). 🙁
      Additional to this i wasn’t able to try the bar yet, so it’s more about the fact that you could have expected the chocolate to taste like… yeah… ordinary milka chocolate ^^

  2. I swear, all of these newer reviews have been horrible. Its as if you hired a bunch of people who actively HATE junk food. Look, it’s okay to have different opinions but I swear every review that I’ve bothered to look at the last few weeks have been overly negative and a large majority of people agree with me.

    1. Oh gosh I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking this. I don’t know maybe we’re all just taking junk food way too seriously but I feel like all these new reviews have been just way too picky and reading them all around just downer after downer.

  3. i agree i was so excited to receive that bar , and once i took a bite it was alarmingly sweet and i live in the south and enjoy sweet tea. it was so sweet it was all i could taste if we could call that a taste. the sugar just coated the tongue. i didnt taste oreo nor chocolate.

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