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REVIEW: Bud Light & Clamato Chelada

8 January 2009

25 Comments

(Editor’s Note: Today’s review is based on the popular Bud Light Real Men of Genius ads. If you’ve never heard or seen these ads, check out this site to get a taste of them.) Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius (Real Men of Genius) Today we salute you, Mr. Bud Light & Clamato Chelada Inventor. (Mr. Bud [...]

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REVIEW: Nice Look Drink

1 December 2008

14 Comments

They did it. I can’t fucking believe it. Someone is selling a canned beverage that has bird spit in it. Is demand really that high? Or was there a choice between a drink based on bird spit or bird balls soup? I guess the Nice Look Drink is a Chinese [...]

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REVIEW: Furuta Sequoia Strawberry Chocolate

26 November 2008

13 Comments

There’s a saying: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I usually thought of it as a bullshit saying because where’s the fun in that? Evil geniuses like me couldn’t fail to take over the world if we lived by those stupid sayings. Batman wouldn’t have had the rubber nipples suit and [...]

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Cherry Cassis Kombucha Wonder Drink

13 December 2007

24 Comments

I believe I have found something worse than coal that Santa can give out to the naughty kids for Christmas this year. If jolly St. Nick wants to be pissed off St. Dick and punish all the little shits around the world, he should stick the Cherry Cassis Kombucha Wonder Drink in their stockings [...]

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Hormel Compleats Roast Beef and Gravy

19 September 2007

39 Comments

If a complete dinner in less than two minutes doesn’t appeal to you, then you’re either lying to me or to yourself. People barely have time to put on their pants before they get out of the house, a problem that has cost me several hundred dollars and a few restraining orders. Hormel understands and [...]

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Chicken of the Sea Mandarin Orange Salmon Cups

10 August 2007

38 Comments

I take back everything bad I said about other things I reviewed, this is proof that the devil lives among us. And apparently the devil takes on the form of a blonde mermaid who hocks packaged fish products. Nice try, you sleazy merchant of lies. You don’t even really exist in nature, your origin came [...]

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Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist

8 July 2007

39 Comments

Right now, I want you to close your eyes and imagine me washing my body with the Bath & Body Works Temptations Iced Tea Twist. Do you like what you’re picturing in your mind? If you’re having a hard time thinking of what my lathered up bod looks like, let me help you [...]

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Libby’s Zesty Barbecue Vienna Sausage

14 June 2007

29 Comments

(Editor’s Note: Just to let you know, this review wasn’t written by me. It doesn’t have any references to Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Rosie or my inability to please women. This review was penned by new TIB writer Ace, who had his own product review blog called Here to Eat, but is [...]

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McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich

24 August 2004

6 Comments

The best way to describe the McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich is call it the result of a wild sex romp between a McChicken Sandwich and a Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad. Imagine the oily and wet action with lettuce flying everywhere and sesame seed buns being slapped. Oh yeah! Oh wait! What [...]

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Salt and Pepper Pringles Potato Chips

19 August 2004

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A couple months ago, I tried the limited edition Ketchup Pringles, which I purchased from the national, small-business destroying superstore behemoth I sometimes shop at. I really enjoyed them, although this is from someone who thinks ketchup goes great with anything. While watching a Pimp My Ride marathon and mowing down the can [...]

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