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REVIEW: Jell-O Mousse Temptations Dark Chocolate Decadence

22 January 2010

21 Comments

For many of us, the month of January represents a new beginning, the start of a new year and a new you. The infamous New Year’s Resolution of losing weight is as American as all-you-can-eat buffets, deep-fried Snickers and funnel cakes. Most resolutions are broken within the first month, because there’s always someone tempting [...]

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REVIEW: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks

9 December 2009

35 Comments

Thank goodness for carnivals and circuses. They give us the opportunity to consume foods we normal wouldn’t eat anywhere else, like cotton candy; something deep fried that shouldn’t have been, like a Snickers, Oreo or Twinkie; and you can eat funnel cake, which has a shape and look that makes it appear to be [...]

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REVIEW: Nabisco Dipped Delight Bars 100 Calorie Packs (Oreo & Nutter Butter)

28 October 2009

14 Comments

You might be thinking these new Nabisco Oreo and Nutter Butter Dipped Delight Bars 100 Calorie Packs are awesome because, after all, they contain either Nutter Butter or Oreo cookies. But if you really love those cookies, you’ll stay away from these bars because they will taint whatever love you have for them. [...]

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REVIEW: Sonic CroisSONIC BLT

21 September 2009

17 Comments

“Help…me…eat…me,” the CroisSONIC BLT said as it gasped for breath when I opened its foiled wrapper. I knew something was wrong when I heard it cough like an 80-year-old diner waitress whose voice had been scarred by years of hollering out quirky names for the way an egg is cooked and inhaling second hand smoke. [...]

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REVIEW: Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks

15 September 2009

20 Comments

Eating Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks is pretty much exactly like the experience of going on a deep sea adventure, only without an actual boat, a body of water, maritime life and any sense of fun or enjoyment whatsoever. Well, I guess if you consider “maritime life” to be breaded sticks of unidentifiable [...]

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REVIEW: Kellogg’s Cinnabon Bars (Original and Caramel)

6 July 2009

17 Comments

Even if it has the name Cinnabon on its packaging, like the Kellogg’s Cinnabon Bars, how can any product reach the high level that a fresh Cinnabon cinnamon roll achieves? It’s impossible to match the orgasmic combination of warm dough, Makara Cinnamon and cream cheese frosting. That triple threat has the power to [...]

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REVIEW: Long Trail Blackbeary Wheat

16 June 2009

22 Comments

Beer and college go together like peanut butter and jelly, spaghetti and meatballs, Bret Michaels and anti-fungal medication, Botox and the cast of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, RuPaul and surgical tape… Okay, I think you get the idea. But, how about beer and fruit? “Beer and fruit you say? I don’t want no fruity stuff [...]

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REVIEW: DiGiorno Tuscan Style Chicken Crispy Flatbread Pizza

10 June 2009

23 Comments

If you don’t skip past the commercials in your DVR recordings, you probably know DiGiorno’s (or if you’re Canadian, Delissio’s) slogan is, “It’s not delivery. It’s DiGiorno.” I’ve had many DiGiorno frozen pizzas over the years and pizza from either Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Papa John’s and I’ll just throw in Little Caesars for the hell of [...]

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REVIEW: Colgate Cinnamint Wisp

24 April 2009

16 Comments

Call me an old man who wants those darn kids to get off of my lawn and to stop skateboarding on the sidewalk, but I don’t understand this newfangled Colgate Cinnamint Wisp thingamajig, which is a mini one-time use toothbrush that doesn’t need water or rinsing. It seems like it has created its own [...]

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REVIEW: Giant Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

17 April 2009

22 Comments

The look of each Giant Flamin’ Hot Cheetos is extremely frightening because it reminds me of the 3D computer graphic simulation of the Earth and the molten lava coming out of it after a killer asteroid hits it, which I’ve seen on a Discovery Channel show about the extinction of dinosaurs. I don’t know [...]

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