The Impulsive Buy » 6 Rating

REVIEW: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger

Marvo — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

To best describe Jack in the Box’s new BLT Cheeseburger, I’d like to use some of the lyrics from this Jack in the Box commercial.

First you take the Jumbo Jack with Cheese.
And then you add strips of bacon and take away the ketchup and onions.
Whaddya get?
BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger!

Yes, the Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is basically a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. If you’ve never had the burger with the alliterated name because you’re hundreds of miles away from a Jack in the Box, let me break it down for you.

A Jumbo Jack with Cheese consists of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup, a slice of American cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. A BLT Cheeseburger is made up of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, pickles, hickory-smoked bacon, a slice of American Cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. If there was such a thing as fast food DNA, I believe these two burgers would be brothers, sister, brother and sister, or maybe first cousins.

One of the ways Jack in the Box has been promoting the burger is with their Marry Bacon website, which follows some dude named Neal who married bacon. Of course, the whole marrying bacon brings up several questions in my head.

How does a slice of bacon say “I do”? How does the stripper at the bachelorette party give a lap dance to a strip of bacon when it has no lap? How does a strip of bacon throw the bouquet? Does the bridal party consist of pigs or other strips of bacon? Where does a strip of bacon put a wedding garter? If the newlyweds vacation at a beach resort and go sunbathing, will the bacon shrink as it fries in the sun? Also, how does one consummate a marriage to bacon?

I’ll never know the answer to those questions, but I do know the answer to this question: Does the bacon in the BLT Cheeseburger make me want to marry bacon or, at least, fondle a BLT Cheeseburger whenever I’m at a Jack in the Box?

Maybe.

Last year, Jack in the Box started using a different type of bacon and I have to say that it’s an improvement over the old stuff. And thank goodness it is because there’s a lot of bacon in this burger. It’s crispier and its flavor doesn’t get lost behind all the other ingredients, which means it actually makes a meaningful contribution to the flavor of the burger.

This new-ish bacon combined with Jack in the Box’s new beef patties that are seasoned while they cook make the BLT Cheeseburger a decent sandwich. Although, perhaps, the person who made my sandwich went a little overboard with the seasoning because it was awfully salty. The American cheese seems to be there just to keep the bacon from falling out of the burger, since it doesn’t provide much flavor. The pickles and tomatoes make up for the lame vegetation that is the chopped lettuce.

The Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is a good burger, but it’s around only for a limited time. If you miss out, who knows when or if they’ll bring it back again. Although, if they don’t, you could just purchase a Jumbo Jack with Cheese and order it with bacon.

(Nutrition Facts – 649 calories, 326 calories from fat, 36 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,658 milligrams of sodium, 520 milligrams of potassium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger
Price: $4.99
Size: Small combo
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good. Better bacon. Better beef patties. Lots of bacon. American cheese keeps the bacon from falling out. Part of a decently priced combo.
Cons: It’s pretty much a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. Lettuce is pale and falls out easily. A bit too salty. Marrying bacon.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Wildlicious Wild! Fruit Fusion Pop-Tarts

Jeff — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:00:11 +0000

Pop-Tarts are just friggin’ weird. They resemble a tart as much as I look like actor Tom Cruise, or even pre/post-drug fiend Tom Sizemore. The pastry is exactly two ninety degree angles that form an exact rectangle scarier than the black monolith in Kubrick’s classic. Instead of being filled with stars, Dave, it is filled with jam, calories, carbohydrates and sodium. The frosting is shiny like nail polish and is harder than fondant. So yes, this is not health food but its shape does scream convenience.

You won’t find Pop-Tarts in a bakery. When you give them to a child, you can’t help but make the “sorry face.” All the cool kids have the Toaster Strudels but Pop-Tarts have persevered through all of it. These ubiquitous things have remained a part of our existence and I am sure when the Sun starts expanding in its death, the waters on Earth have dried up, all mammals have become pieces of tasty jerky, those Pop-Tarts are still going to survive. I know so.

And as weird as they are, like Tom Sizemore and his old drug habit, I have a strong compulsion to buy any new flavor of Pop-Tarts I see. I just have to. I don’t care if I get mostly disappointed when I eat them. I just need to have them now. It’s the same exact feeling I get when I buy supermarket sushi or when I watch German art films.

I habitually stop by the Pop-Tarts section when I go to down the cereal aisle. To my delight, I saw a box of Wildlicious Wild! Fruit Fusion Pop-Tarts. With a title like that, I was expecting this to rival the KY Jelly Fire and Ice. I could blame The Impulsive Buy and say I bought these because I am obligated to review them. In truth, I would have bought them anyway because I just need to.

From gumdrops to Sunkist, I love all things orange flavored. The fact there is an orange pictured amongst the fruits pictured on the box will probably be the closest thing I will ever get to a marmalade Pop-Tart. To be specific, there is a strawberry and cherry pictured as well. I’m assuming this is the fruit fusion which doesn’t seem that wild but it’s Pop-Tarts we’re talking about here.

Amusing to me, the only fruits listed in the ingredients are cherries and apples. Even more fascinating are the instructions on how to toast your goodies. I’m not sure what it says about its target audience. They even have a diagram to emphasize how to toast these things. More depressing is what does this say about me? I had to toast another because I burned my first pastry.

I normally eat these untoasted but I will review these Pop-Tarts in both the raw and the cooked form.

Unsheathing the treat out of its silver wrapper, it was a bit comical to me how vibrant the colors of the frosting were. It looked like someone slathered mustard on it and then zig zagged ketchup (in true 1950’s kitsch) all over the tart. This thing could double as Jem’s truly outrageous maxi-pad.

In the simplest form, without toasting, the crust is dry as expected. The frosting is the same vague sweet flavor that can be found on all Pop-Tarts with that unnatural sugar shell. The bite is surprisingly a bit tart and not overly sweet. I like it because it is not an abundance of immediate sugar that will numb your tongue.

The jam itself has a strong cherry flavor but I’m not sure if it overwhelmed the orange and strawberry. Not really a surprise since they aren’t listed in the ingredients. I ended up taking a couple more bites and only the tart cherry jam shines through. That is kind of disappointing but the fact that this (let’s face it, these things are really big cookies) is not as sweet as the other flavors is a plus.

Toasted, it smells like baked sugar but not in a welcoming bakery way. It’s just baked sugar. I hate that smell which is why I never toast them, but I’m also lazy. Texture wise, the frosting adds a nice crispness and the jam is even more intense. The taste is improved but not enough for me to bother toasting these things. I’m making a “lazy face” here.

Let’s be honest and come to an agreement that nobody really craves these things. There are better ways to spend 200 calories and the sodium is high enough to offset my blood pressure meds. I can’t tell you how many unfinished boxes of Pop-Tarts I have chucked out. I liked this one despite the repulsive color frosting but will probably not finish the box.

I would still make the “sorry face” if I had to give one to my little niece or any other kids looking for a snack. Yet, I (in a non-committal way) would eat these again as I made the “yeah, I know” face. So yeah reader, I know.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 200 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of Saturated fat, 2 grams if Polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 170 mg of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than one gram of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein)

Item: Kellogg’s Wildlicious Wild! Fruit Fusion Pop-Tarts
Price: $1.99
Size: 14.1 ounces/8 toaster pastries
Purchased: Publix
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: The tart sweetness is a nice change. Easy to hold. Tom Sizemore in Heat. Tom Cruise in Collateral (Michael Mann is the man). Making faces. If you love cherry, you cannot go wrong. Toasting it has a nice texture. 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Cons: No orange flavor. Easy to burn if you’re a dummy like me. Crust is dry but that’s to be expected. Wild frosting does nothing for the Pop-Tart. The color is a bit gross looking. Tom Sizemore in that sex video. Tom Cruise in MI:2. Loaded with sodium, unless you love sodium! 2010: The Year We Make Contact.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Bacon Shake

Marvo — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:10:06 +0000

Jack in the Box’s new Bacon Shake is damn intriguing, but it also sounds gross and I’m scared of it. I’m pretty sure I’m afraid of it because I haven’t gotten over that time I spent with my lips around a Jones Bacon Soda.

Oh dear, I just gagged. Will these emotional scars ever heal?

The Jack in the Box Bacon Shake isn’t like the Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae we reviewed last year, which was topped with real chopped bacon. Instead, the Bacon Shake uses bacon-flavored Torani syrup, which is blended with vanilla ice cream.

To maximize the unusualness of the bacon shake, I hoped the suckable dessert was bacon colored, but as you can see in the picture on the right, the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake looks as harmless as a vanilla milkshake. It’s not even raw bacon pink.

The bacon-flavored shake also smells harmless. There’s a very slight hint of smokiness, but not enough to cause a bunch of red flags to pop up in your head. When I ordered my shake, I was asked if I wanted whipped cream and a cherry on top. I said yes and then asked if I could also get chopped bacon on top of that. The Jack in the Box employee laughed and then said “I’m sorry, no.” A part of me wanted to slam both hands on the counter and yell, “I’m not going to settle for that answer!”

I find it a little strange the shake didn’t come with bacon sprinkled on top of it. Every Jack in the Box restaurant has the means to fry up bacon and chop it up, so why not take that extra step and add a little texture to the shake? It would’ve made this bacon shake many times more fascinating.

Many of you might be expecting me to say the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake is repulsive, but, surprisingly, it’s not. Although I have to admit it was slightly off-putting at first. But the more I ate, the more I enjoyed the bacon flavor of the shake, which wasn’t anything close to being overpowering. Instead it had a very mild smokiness, albeit an artificial smokiness. The weirdest thing about this shake (yes, weirder than the fact it’s bacon flavored) is the way it ends up tasting like coffee at the back end.

Overall, I wouldn’t call the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake “scrumptious,” but I also wouldn’t call it “revolting.” I think “pleasant” would be the best word I could use to describe it. If you’re REALLY into bacon, you should definitely give it a try. Would I buy another? I probably would. Although, if it came topped with chopped bacon, I’d change my answer to most definitely.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces/regular size – 773 calories, 358 calories from fat, 40 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 2 gram of trans fat, 127 milligrams of cholesterol, 319 milligrams of sodium, 691 milligrams of potassium, 89 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 75 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Bacon Shake
Price: $3.99
Size: Regular
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Not revolting. Pleasant flavor. Creamy. Tastes like coffee at the back end of the flavor. Bacon lovers will probably enjoy it.
Cons: Not sprinkled with chopped bacon. Might be gross to some people. There’s no signage for it in restaurants. Not bacon colored. The deep emotional scars from drinking a Jones Bacon Soda two years ago.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal

Drew — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:00:42 +0000

Faithful TIB readers will recall Jasper reviewing Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Cereal, stating that while it wasn’t exactly an “adult” cereal, it was tasty without making him feel like the 11-year-old that he actually is (probably) (just kidding, Jasper!). I read that with great interest, then scooped up a box of Krave Double Chocolate at the first opportunity, determined to see whether upping the chocolate quotient would make me less wizened and grinch-like. While I’m still cursing at people who don’t use their turn signals, I have noticed a 54 percent decrease in shuffling, complaining about the chill, and watching Jay Leno, so I’m going to call this one a success!

On opening the box and taking a whiff, I was greeted with a vague chocolate smell, similar but not entirely like other chocolate cereals like Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Puffs. Even holding a piece right up to my nose, it’s not as powerful a scent as I would have expected out of double chocolate anything; but the smell may just be locked in by a non-nutritive cereal varnish, semi-permeable but not osmotic, which coats and seals the piece. Regardless, I started by trying a few pieces dry, and I was happy with what I experienced. The cereal bits are suitably crunchy without being too hard or jagged edged, and the small burst of chocolate inside hits you like a little surprise a second or two after your taste buds have registered the outer layer. It’s a well timed one-two punch, with the outer part being a bit of a subtler, less intense chocolate, but the inner component being richer. High marks all around.

Given that, I was really eager to get the milk on and see how I liked them. Regrettably, I have to report that while milk is almost always an improvement to cereal, it had the opposite effect on Double Chocolate Krave. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still flavorful, but almost too much so — my teeth seemed to be on the verge of hurting with every bite. My suspicion is that when the milk penetrates to the inside layer of chocolate, it turns it more liquidy; and while you’d think that would be a good thing, it actually makes it overly chocolate-y, if such a thing is possible. I mean, I have a sweet tooth and all, but a 17-year-old girl who got dumped a week before prom would say this was a little too much chocolate. I feel like I visited a guy on the street corner looking for an ounce of weed and he injected me with black tar heroin.

Aside from the flavor, I found that they didn’t stay crunchy in milk very well at all — a mere five minutes of soaking reduced them to the firmness of a mushy banana, so either they don’t maintain consistency or someone at the grocery store is slipping acid into my milk. Probably both. (I have a lot of enemies.) Since Jasper reported that the uni-chocolate variety held its crunchiness pretty well in milk, I’m wondering if it’s something to do with the different outer layers — maybe nutella and whatever else is in the casing of the regular variety is better at saying no than chocolate, the village bicycle.

While I can only give Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate a moderate score due to its overpowering taste and loose consistency in milk, I’d definitely recommend picking some up to eat dry as a party snack or something. All told, it appears to simply be that rare cereal that’s better without the milk. The back of the box makes reference to “chocovores,” so I guess I’m just one of those chocovores who likes his meals raw and unseasoned. Grrrrr.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal
Price: $3.99
Size: 11 ounces
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes great dry. Good crunch. Not overpowering scent. Nice one-two chocolate flavor combo. Satisfying your chocolate craving for the next five years. Would probably make for a good party snack food.
Cons: Milk somehow makes it too sweet and chocolate-y. People who don’t use their turn signals. Gets soggy quickly. They misspelled “crave.” Being the only product in the world where more chocolate is a bad thing. Comparing chocolate to hardcore drugs.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet

Marvo — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:38:47 +0000

Wrigley says their new Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum is made up of the flavors orange, lemon, and lime. So I was hoping a stick of it would look like a vertical strip cut off from a Rastafarian flag, but it was just pink.

Of course, I should’ve easily guessed the gum’s color because the packaging has so much pink that I’m disappointed the profits from this gum don’t go to breast cancer research.

To be honest, I had forgotten what rainbow sherbet tastes like so I headed to the nearest supermarket to pick some up. Unfortunately, all the store had was a 4-quart pail of rainbow sherbet, so if you invite me to your Super Bowl party, guess what I’m bringing.

After chewing on a piece of Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum and eating a little rainbow sherbet straight from the 4-quart pail using the smallest spoon I could find, I thought the gum didn’t really taste like rainbow sherbet. Instead it had a generic mild citrus flavor, which eventually became more lime-ish the more chewed on it. I also noticed the sherbet has a sourness that the gum lacks.

With all of that said, I have to say the Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum has a good flavor, even though it’s not rainbow sherbet. It’s a pleasant soft chew and the flavor lasts for a decent amount of time.

And thank goodness it has all of these traits because it seems it’s only available in packs of three. So if this gum sucked, guess what I also would’ve brought to your Super Bowl party.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet
Price: $2.17
Size: 3 pack/15 sticks
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good flavor. Sugar free. Low calorie. Pleasant chew. Flavor lasts. Being irie. Super Bowl parties.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like rainbow sherbet. Having to buy a 4-quart pail of rainbow sherbet. Gum is not multicolored. Lot of pink, but no money going to breast cancer research.

REVIEW: Frosted Toast Crunch Cereal

Marvo — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:26:49 +0000

Frosted toast sounds like something Paula Deen created with her greasy, butter coated hands, but I Googled “frosted toast paula deen” and it didn’t show me any results that link the two together. However, Google did show me text ads for Weight Watchers, diet pills, and butter churns.

Frosted Toast Crunch is a cereal General Mills describes as, “baked with the delightful taste of frosted vanilla, then dusted with a delicious dash of cinnamon for a taste that’s pure delight.” So frosted toast is toast with vanilla frosting on top with a little cinnamon? That sounds lower middle class fabulous.

All the previous Toast Crunch cereals have made sense, like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Peanut Butter Toast Crunch, and French Toast Crunch. But Frosted Toast sounds like something General Mills made up. I don’t know of any human being who has put cake frosting on toast. Putting two tubs of it on my body to make a French-cut frosting Speedo…yes. But, toast…that just sounds really weird.

With its white powdered coating, Frosted Toast Crunch cereal looks like it partied with Tony Montana. Sadly, the sugary layer easily gets washed away when eaten with milk and settles to the bottom of the bowl.

Of course, this process causes the cereal to lose a lot of its sweet vanilla flavor and whatever little cinnamon flavor it has, but it makes the milk that’s left in the bowl taste awesome. I’m talking upset Jamie Oliver awesome.

If you happen to buy a box of Frosted Toast Crunch cereal, I suggest you eat it dry. Because when you eat it dry, your tongue will make your brain think it’s eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch, albeit a light version. Vanilla is the dominate flavor, but the cinnamon is a bit more noticeable without the cow/soy/almond/goat milk cockblocking it from your tongue. You should also eat it dry because of the way the sugary coating will melt on your tongue when you drop a few pieces in your mouth.

Frosted Toast Crunch cereal is good, but it’s not that impressive. When eaten with milk it doesn’t have much flavor and when eaten dry it almost tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Maybe General Mills should grab a stick of butter and Deen-ify it.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 14 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein, and a clump of vitamin and minerals.)

Other Frosted Toast Crunch reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp
So Good Blog
Rodzilla Reviews

Item: Frosted Toast Crunch Cereal
Price: $2.99
Size: 13.2 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Eating the cereal dry. When eaten dry, it kind of tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Sugary coating makes the after milk taste awesome. Google ads looking out for me.
Cons: Eating the cereal wet. Sugary coating gets easily washed away with milk. Sogginess happens quicker than I’d like. Cockblocking flavors. Putting sticks of butter in everything. Frosting Speedos.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran

Jeff — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 10:00:30 +0000

I outgrew a lot of things, shedding interests like Beat Takeshi dispatches bodies in his awesome Yakuza films. I outgrew “yo mama” jokes. I outgrew my obsession with INXS. I even outgrew prank calling Chinese people claiming I was a pizza delivery guy and someone better Goddamn pay me or else (sorry Yen Sun wherever you are). To be honest, *69 proved to be my Kryptonite and effectively stopped me from my misdemeanant hobby. But you know? I have never outgrown cereal.

Hopping off my glorious Vespa, I arrogantly parked my scoot right by the side of the automatic double glass doors. Walking past the scowls of employees and customers, I was in Target looking for two things: some plug-in air fresheners and Frosted Flakes. Even though I enjoy eating the occasional fancy lad food (shaved truffles may have lost some of its allure thanks to the nouveau riche infection but they sure are tasty), a simple bowl of cereal comforts me like none other.

I can eat a bowl for any meal or a late night snack. I love eating “mini-wheats” out of the box as if they were cookies. Is it the perfect comfort food? No, but it is close since cereal is so familiar and convenient. And if you’re a faithful reader of The Impulsive Buy, you can tell that we have more choices than ever for cereal.

My selection for cereal is shameless. As an adult man who favors blazers, I feel like I should really be ordering a proper drink (and I do! Chin, chin!!) regardless if I act like an adult at the end of the night. An adult man ordering a Jägerbomb is plain embarrassing. Don’t even get me started on the Red Bull and vodkatinis…I’d rather be caught drinking a can of Four Loko wearing a shiny shirt with a spiky fade.

Ah, but cereal! Lovely sexy cereal with milk and the silver spoon, I lurve you. I would be happy with a bowl of Lucky Charms as I would be with a bowl of fart inducing Weetabix topped with blueberries. I have no problem eating Froot Loops while watching something responsible where everyone speaks in English accents. My love affair with all things cereal is one of the few constants in my life.

You know suicide sodas? Mixing all the flavors from the dispensers to create an amalgam of sugary fizzy goodness? I’m like that with cereals. Like a chemist, I would mix some Corn Flakes with Alpha-Bits and some puffy Kix to top it off. So just when I thought I couldn’t top off my cereal porn anymore, I found a box of Kellogg’s Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran.

Raisin Brain is like your old standard, like Tony Bennett. It’s not something I want to listen to all the time but when I do, it’s pretty damn good. I like Raisin Bran but need to be in the mood for it. I engulfed a box of it when I recuperated from my car accident. I always thought it made my skim milk creamier and I loved the sweet chewiness from the slightly soggy raisins. So this version reminds me of the Michael Bublé take of Raisin Bran.

The box eschews any thoughts that this is your Grandfather’s Raisin Bran with “Cinnamon Almond” blazed on to the box with a yellow brown background. The famous “Two scoops!” tagline and the earnest looking sun holding exactly two scoops beckons you to open that box.

Upon ripping the cellophane bag, the waft of toasted wheat and sweet raisins welcomed me. There is a pleasant but very faint smell of baked cinnamon rolls that emanates way in the background but this is cereal not wine. The cereal had quite a few raisins sans “plump” but there were seldom any almonds in my bowl. I dumped the bowl back into the package. This time I shook up the box like I’d shake any convicted bastard in a shaken baby case to see how they like it and poured another. The result was the same, a good amount of raisins but the thin slivers of almonds were so few.

The almonds were supposedly toasted as well but I couldn’t taste it. Eating a few without milk confirmed my suspicions. The cinnamon is so faint that it basically whispers “Hey don’t forget about me.” Knowing that most people eat their cereal in milk, I went ahead and proceeded to dine like the normals do hoping that the cinnamon taste would be more prevalent.

The milk did indeed emphasize the slight cinnamon taste. In fact, I think the cinnamon was now whispering, “Here I am. See? Why didn’t you believe me? You have trust issues.” Definitely, the cinnamon smell was stronger than the taste. While it does state that the cinnamon is dusted but damn…I think there is more cinnamon flavor if I sucked on the box. Most of the cinnamon taste was in the milk left after you’ve eaten it all.

Regarding the line that breaches the crunchy/soggy measure, if it takes you more than a few minutes to eat a bowl you are either: eating too big of a bowl or you don’t like the cereal. I’ve never done formal tests but I’m assuming most people take a couple of minutes or so to eat cereal.

I went ahead and let the bran sit in milk for exactly 120 seconds and it stayed crunchy. The raisins rehydrated slightly which is good but plumpness is overly optimistic. Another plus? The good news is that if you like Raisin Bran you will not be disappointed because it tastes like Raisin Bran with some almonds your jerky younger brother threw in there to be funny. Now I like Raisin Bran but I really was hoping for a different spin on the cereal.

My love for cereal is still strong but I would not buy this again. I can only eat so much Raisin Bran and I can only listen to so much Rat Packy/Swing Jazz standards. Now please tell my wife to turn off the Michael Bublé. My ears are bleeding.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 1/4 cup (cereal only) – 200 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 grams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 260 milligrams of potassium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran
Price: $2.99
Size: 14.5 ounces
Purchased at: Super Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It tastes like Raisin Bran. Stays crunchy and makes your milk slightly cinnamony. Prank phone calls. People scowling at you. Beat Takeshi’s films.
Cons: It tastes like Raisin Bran. The cinnamon taste is barely there. Few measly slivers of almonds. Taste wise, the only toasted thing were the flakes. Justifying prank calling by telling myself I’m only goofing on my own nationality so I won’t feel guilty…Damn you *69! Michael Bublé.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Chicken McBites

Stephanie — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:54:27 +0000

Peer pressure is a bitch. When I was fourteen, I had my most memorable bout with peer pressure when my friends and I took turns jumping off a bridge. You heard me right. You know that old-as-dirt, parental warning “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”

Well, that bridge is real, dear reader.

And it was quite clear to me at the time that the answer was YES. There was a creek that ran through the town where I grew up, and at certain points throughout there were little footbridges. One particular bridge was about seven feet off the ground, and one day, my pals decided they would try to jump off and land on the level surface just on the edge of the creek. I was hesitant to do it since the ground was pretty muddy, and I was more than a little scared to sully my brand new jeans and awesome TLC CrazySexyCool t-shirt. You can probably see where this is going. I took a flying leap off the edge.

Long story short, the lovely ladies of TLC were soon covered in a slick of grime, dead leaves and any number of biological specimens dredged up from the creek bed. I should’ve heeded T-Boz’s warning to stick to the rivers and the lakes I was used to instead of careening like a howler monkey into certain doom. Now, I would have to go home covered in dreck and confess my bad deeds, so I was up shit creek. Literally. But like I said… peer pressure is a bitch. It can make you do things you really don’t need to do… and most importantly, probably shouldn’t do.

It is now evident that McDonald’s has also fallen victim to the sway of their fast food peers by introducing Chicken McBites. What KFC, Chick-Fil-A, Popeye’s, Sonic, and even Arby’s have already accomplished years ago, McDonald’s now feels it must also do in order to prove it isn’t … (waaaaait for it) Chicken. We all know that McDonald’s is no stranger to fried poultry, and that they are certainly capable of producing their own version of popcorn chicken. It just feels a bit like overkill when you already have McNuggets and Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips. Why would customers want smaller pieces of chicken with less meat in them? It doesn’t make any sense. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The presentation of the Chicken McBites is on point. Chicken McBites arrive hot and fresh in a very cute and well-designed paperboard container with a built-in sauce cup holder that folds back from the lid. The sauce cup holder is very clever and handy, but make sure you don’t ask for honey with your McBites like I did. The holder is not constructed to hold the shallow honey container and appears designed to grip larger dips like Sweet n’ Sour and BBQ Sauce. Order honey, and you’ll be unwittingly setting up a very cute and well-designed honey catapult.

Given that popcorn chicken is high in fat and calories and sodium, all the bad things that go against nature and your better judgment, McDonald’s has decided to offer Chicken McBites in three different sizes, so you can make the “best” worst choice possible. They sell a 4-ounce “Snack” size, a 6-ounce “Regular” size, and a 12-ounce “Shareable” size. The fact that the largest size is called “Shareable Size” is interesting – this must be McDonald’s way of saying “Don’t eat the whole thing by yourself, Fatass.” Each size is sold individually, ranging from $1.99-$4.99.

I ordered the Regular size and quickly discovered that the McBites themselves also varied in size. There were big ones and small ones. There were microscopic McBites (which could barely be called “McBites” in the first place because something that McSmall hardly required McChewing) and gargantuan McBites (that were clearly two McBites stuck together).

Like most popcorn chicken, the McBites were chewy and crispy on the outside with very generous breading. The breading was seasoned with spices that added the tiniest amount of heat. What the spices were, I do not know. The McDonald’s website says that McBites consist of “chicken breast meat” with a “savory home-style breading,” so I guess those spices can be found at home, y’all!

But let’s talk about the meat-to-breading ratio. There were scanty amounts of “breast meat” here, folks. I understand it is popcorn chicken and that popcorn chicken is mostly flour, but this was really just fried, spicy flour with a slight, somewhat chicken-flavored filling. This is what McDonald’s – the #2 Fast Food chain in the world — came up with when faced with the possibility that they’d be excluded from the popcorn chicken game? Coming in second to Subway makes them want to go out and make fried, barely-meaty chicken chunks? They just had to do something, even if that something wasn’t their best effort. Did McDonald’s even have to pretend they cared about popcorn chicken?

Chicken McBites are not yet available everywhere, but they soon will be. They’re not as good as McNuggets or the Premium Chicken Strips, but they do come in several sizes. So they’ve got that going for them. I know McDonald’s will consistently try to impress with new additions to its menu that mirror what their peers have tried before, even if it the food doesn’t turn out the best… Even if their efforts result in disaster. Someone somewhere will look at the yucky, messy results and respect that McDonald’s did it; that they tried.

(Nutrition Facts – Regular size (6 ounces) – 470 calories, 28 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 730 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 22 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Chicken McBites reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Grub Grade
Fast Food Geek

Item: Chicken McBites
Price: $2.99
Size: Regular size
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: TLC’s Waterfalls. Fried poultry. Adorable packaging. Nice, affordable prices for all three sizes. Yummy home-style seasoning. Comes with a sauce cup holder.
Cons: Peer pressure. Scanty amount of meat in each McBite. Honey catapults. Creek bed filth. Deigning to care about popcorn chicken.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Texas Toast Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Drew — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

I don’t eat breakfast on-the-go very often, usually opting for a simple bowl of cereal and some OJ at the kitchen table with my kids. Very Norman Rockwell. But on rare occasions — like if between the baby and me it’s been a 3-diaper-change morning, or one where I have to shave, put the garbage out, AND explain why you can wear the sparkle shoes or the pink shoes but not the pink sparkle shoes — well, I might have to skip the suburban flakes and grab something on the way. When that happens, it’s always Dunkin’ Donuts and I invariably get the same thing: a bismark, and a chocolate glazed (January-August) or pumpkin donut (September-December). This does not change, because while there are other donuts I like, those are the best. Feel free to disagree (everyone should take up a lost cause once in their life), but it should help you understand why I recently confused myself by walking into DD and not only not getting my usual order, but not getting a breakfast food whatsoever.

That is, of course, due to DD’s latest offering, the Texas Toast Grilled Cheese. Sort of a lunchtime offshoot of the recent Big N’ Toasty Breakfast Sandwich, your first thought on seeing one might be that it looks like they took the BN’T and stripped out the bacon and eggs. And… there would be a lot of truth to that, as it does play sort of the basic model compared to the fully loaded BN’T. To be specific, the new sandwich is two thick pieces of Texas toast with two slices of American cheese and one slice of cheddar in between. The whole thing is ironically oven toasted rather than grilled, served hot (or in my case, kinda warm).

Any good grilled cheese sandwich obviously lives or dies by the cheese. If you were hoping the Double D was going to get esoteric with their diary selection, guess again — American and cheddar are about the most predictable options they could’ve gone with. The other side of that coin is that those are the most popular cheeses because they’re both really good. However, I still think DD might’ve increased this sandwich’s mass appeal by giving us a few options to choose from, like Monterey Jack or Swiss. But they didn’t, so you’ll get American and cheddar and like it. And I did, mostly. The cheddar had just a bit of kick to it, slightly sharp, which I like in a cheddar. But it was mostly overwhelmed by the decent but standard American cheese, no doubt due to the 2:1 ratio. Both kinds were melted well, another key component of any successful grilled cheese. Overall, my impression of the cheeses was that they’re pretty good, but not exactly lighting the world on fire.

Ironically, my favorite part might’ve been what’s traditionally the most boring aspect of a sandwich, namely the bread. Texas toast is one of those foods that’s fantastic when done well but really disappointing if it’s either under-toasted or burned. Fortunately mine was just the right texture, toasted perfectly so that it was soft enough to easily dig into, but with enough crunch to feel satisfying. It also tasted buttery, another must-have.

But that’s really it, because the cheese and the bread are the only two components of the sandwich. Apparently it can be customized with bacon or ham, but DD might be shooting themselves in the foot by not better advertising that – I didn’t see any such option listed on the menu and my server didn’t offer it. Which is a shame — I would’ve been willing to throw in a few more cents or a saucy wink in exchange for meat, because that’s the kind of carniv-whore I am. Other than the missing pork, I didn’t mind too much because I’m a sandwich minimalist, but those who like to indulge in things like “pickles” and “condiments” and “fixins” will no doubt be left wanting worse than my high school girlfriend. You know, when she didn’t get into the college she wanted. Obviously.

Finally, not for nothing, but the fat and sodium content are more worrisome than my longstanding crush on Erin Esurance. (Whatever, I’m not the only one. The internet told me so!) The sandwich is pretty filling, but unless it’s the only thing you’re eating for lunch, it could easily have you packing on the ell-bees. I know, unlike the rest of Dunkin’ Donuts’ fare, but still. Moderation is advised.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 510 calories, 270 calories from fat, 30 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 940 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, and 18 grams of protein)

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Texas Toast Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Price: $2.99
Size: 1 sandwich
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Breaking out of your routine. A little bite to the cheddar. Melty, melty, melty. Crunchy Texas toast. Buttery flavor. Fairly filling. Ability to add meat.
Cons: Not publicizing the ability to add meat. High fat and sodium content. Lacking in the ingredients department. No additional cheese selections. I can make this exact sandwich in my kitchen in 5 minutes.

REVIEW: Post Limited Edition Chocolate Peanut Butter Pebbles Boulders

Marvo — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 23:41:04 +0000

The combination of chocolate and peanut butter gets me as excited as a crackhead when he or she sees their dealer, so you may think the Post Limited Edition Chocolate Peanut Butter Pebbles Boulders got me crackhead excited. However, after eating those awful Caramel Apple Pebbles Boulders, I approached this chocolate peanut butter cereal like a crackhead approaches someone who looks like an undercover narc.

As I poured the cereal into a bowl, I tried to ease my mind about it by trying to come up with as many successful chocolate and peanut butter marriages. There’s Peanut Butter Creme Oreo cookies, Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream, and, of course, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Knowing that peanut butter and chocolate has had a long, successful relationship that Kim Kardashian can only dream of helped eased my mind.

What also helped with my trepidation was the fact that Post makes one of the best chocolate cereals on the planet — Cocoa Pebbles.

However, after eating a bowl of Limited Edition Chocolate Peanut Butter Pebbles Boulders, it turns out Post didn’t take what makes Cocoa Pebbles so great and transfer it over to the chocolate-flavored Pebbles Boulders pieces. The only appropriate thing I can say about that blown opportunity is it’s Yabba Dabba Dumb. As for the peanut butter cereal pieces, they had a peanut butter flavor that’s similar to other peanut butter cereals I’ve had in the past and a stronger flavor than the chocolate cereal pieces. Overall, the combination of chocolate and peanut butter in this cereal is good enough to make me forget about the abomination that is Caramel Apple Pebbles Boulders.

While tasty, there’s something a little unpleasant about the Chocolate Peanut Butter Pebbles Boulders — the thin coating on each piece of cereal. I first thought it was sugar…okay, okay, I first thought it was cocaine, but then when I touched it, it had a waxy and slightly greasy feel to it. I tried licking it to find out what it was…okay, okay, I first tried snorting it to see if it was cocaine and then licked it. Unfortunately, my nose and tongue could not figure out what it was. While slightly off-putting, whatever the coating is, it did a great job of preventing the cereal from getting soggy.

The Post Limited Edition Chocolate Peanut Butter Pebbles Boulders is a good cereal, whether you eat it dry or wet, but it doesn’t compete with the robust flavors of best chocolate/peanut butter cereal on the face of the Earth — Reese’s Puffs. And I will fling peanut butter at anyone who disagrees. I think it would’ve been better if Post combined Cocoa Pebbles with the peanut butter Pebbles Boulders. That’s a cereal I would totally get crackhead excited about.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 110 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 90 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 10 grams of other carbohydrates, 3 grams of protein, and a smorgasbord of vitamins and minerals.)

*made using partially hydrogenated oil

Other Chocolate Peanut Butter Pebbles Boulders reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: Post Limited Edition Chocolate Peanut Butter Pebbles Boulders
Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good. Much better than Caramel Apple Pebble Boulders. Coating helps prevent the cereal from getting soggy. Labels For Education. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. The combination of chocolate and peanut butter. Color from natural ingredients.
Cons: Not as good as Reese’s Puffs. Weird waxy coating. Doesn’t make me crackhead excited. Chocolate pieces not as chocolatey as I hoped. Made using partially hydrogenated oil. Not knowing who’s a real dealer and who’s a cop.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon

Drew — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 10:34:10 +0000

Ah, crackers.

For some reason I always find it hard starting off a cracker review. Maybe it’s because crackers aren’t a very sexy food. Candy is sexy. Fruit can be very sexy. Ice cream? Ice cream is definitely sexy, which is ironic since eating a lot of it will have the opposite effect on you. But crackers are not sexy. Nobody has ever eaten crackers off someone’s naked body, and if they have, I don’t want to know about it.

But hey, it can’t all be fast food and desserts — at some point you’ve got to devote some time to the staples, the unsung members of the snack world. And if that snack knows it isn’t glamorous but has gone to the trouble of decking itself out in sweet cinnamon for the holidays to make a good impression on your visiting relatives? Well, that says a lot. Be honest, ladies: what impresses you more, the guy who’s naturally gorgeous, or the one who goes out of his way to clean up, dress up, and put his best foot forward? Exactly. Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon are the homely guy who knows he doesn’t stand a chance with you, but dammit, he’s going to give it his best shot anyway. You’ve got to admire that.

Mind you, I do like regular Wheat Thins, but I’m used to eating them as little sandwiches with cheese and/or pepperoni slices in between. It’s rare that I’ll eat straight from a box of Wheat Thins, but that’s what seems most appropriate here, since neither cheese nor meat makes for a natural combination with cinnamon. I would guess that’s why these are limited edition for the holidays, since they lose a little bit of their versatility for party settings, where you’re more likely to want to make cracker sandwiches. However, what the cinnamon Wheat Thins lose in party food-ability, they gain back in solo use. After all, you’re more likely to dig into a box of something on the couch if it’s sweet and can be enjoyed straight out of the package, without needing to cut cheese slices or get out the platter and martini glasses, or whatever people without two young kids do at parties these days. (Network? Spin the bottle? Get crunk? I just don’t know.)

It’s fair to say my expectations were pretty high for this product, because let’s be honest, cinnamon is awesome and it’s pretty hard to screw up sprinkling it on a cracker. That’d be like praising me for writing a review that successfully uses the word “ass” three times… it’s just kind of expected. Plus the snowman on the box predisposes me to wanting to like whatever’s inside, a tactic the government would do well to remember when issuing jury summons. With all that being the case, my takeaway is that the cinnamon Wheat Thins are pleasant, and that’s probably the correct adjective. Not “amazing” or “mind-blowing” or “pulchritudinous,” but pleasant. A nice winter treat that would probably pair well with some hot chocolate while snuggled up with a loved one, watching Jimmy Stewart tough-talk an angel on Christmas.

[As an aside, do you know how hard it is to type "thins" rather than "things"? Your fingers just want to add that "g". Try it!]

You’re familiar with what you’re going to get if you’ve ever had Wheat Thins before, because the size, consistency, and texture are the same as they’ve always been, the only difference being the addition of cinnamon and sugar. Speaking of which, I suspect this will be a polarizing product based on the amount of cinnamon per cracker. It’s not insignificant — no one will confuse these with having a “hint of” cinnamon. That said, they aren’t comprised solely of cinnamon and sugar pressurized and molded into the vague shape of a Wheat Thin either. I personally found them tasty and think most people will as well, but anyone hoping these would equate to a slightly larger version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch is advised to keep walking. (However, I did dip some in milk, just out of curiosity. Not bad, but not something you’d want to eat out of a bowl with a spoon.)

Like a lot of you would have guessed, Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon is a product that offers zero surprises. It’s exactly what the name implies it to be, and it looks and tastes exactly how you’d expect. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing, though — the crackers ARE tasty, and they’re a safe snack food you can enjoy equally with friends or home alone in your pajamas. (Those of you who wear them, anyway. I know our readers like to walk on the wild side.) If snack foods were an ’80s movie, they’d be the quiet nerd who never gets noticed until finally the stars align and Molly Ringwald takes a chance on him, only to discover that, hey, this guy’s got a little spice to him! That’s Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon. Enjoy them, and enjoy the holiday season!

(Nutrition Facts – 14 pieces – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon reviews:
Junk Food Guy
So Good Blog
Dave’s Cupboard

Item: Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon
Price: $2.99
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased at: Wegman’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Reasonably nutritious. Snowman on box. Homely crackers who doll themselves up for you. Can be readily enjoyed solo. Unsurprising but pleasant taste. Decent in milk. Nabbing Molly Ringwald at the end.
Cons: Not bringing sexy back to crackers. No good for making mini-sandwiches. Doesn’t keep you guessing. Not an effective breakfast cereal replacement. Probably not enough cinnamon and sugar for some people.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Mini Cookies

Marvo — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:57:16 +0000

It may seem weird for a burger joint, like Jack in the Box, to have mini cookies on their menu board. But, to me, it really isn’t. It’s not weird for two reasons.

1. Jack in the Box is known for having items on their menu that don’t seem like they should be on there, like egg rolls, mini churros, and their Chicken Teriyaki Bowl.

2. McDonald’s has been selling cookies for decades. Anyone remember McDonaldland Cookies?

What is weird to me is that the Jack in the Box Mini Cookies weren’t deep fried. I was totally expecting Jack in the Box to prepare these mini chocolate chip cookies with candy coated chocolate the same way they produce their tacos. I also assumed they were deep fried because I’m pretty sure every Jack in the Box kitchen lacks a conventional oven.

To be honest, I’m really disappointed these cookies weren’t dunked in hot oil, because, man, they would’ve been soooo crispy. Instead, the Jack in the Box Mini Cookies were warm, soft, and served to me within four minutes, so I think they were microwaved.

If they were microwaved, I’m fine with that because I’ve nuked my fair share of Chips Ahoy cookies over the years to make them feel like they were fresh out of the oven instead of fresh out of a resealable package. I’ve also nuked my fair share of frozen meals, marshmallow Peeps, and bars of soap.

I’ve also ruined my fair share of microwave ovens.

The Jack in the Box Mini Cookies were as good as microwaved Chips Ahoy cookies. Depending on your feelings towards Chips Ahoy cookies, it makes them either them awesome, awful, or average. I like microwaved Chips Ahoy cookies, but I don’t think they’re awesome, they’re just average, and I feel the same about Jack in the Box’s mini cookies.

There’s a good amount of chocolate in each mini cookie, so if you eat them warm, they’re pleasantly gooey. They’re definitely chocolatier than regular Chips Ahoy cookies, but they taste just as cheap.

However, they should taste cheap, because Jack in the Box’s Mini Cookies are loose change cheap. For a buck and a half, I got five mini cookies that are each about 80 percent the size of a regular Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookie. Seriously, if I stole a begging cup from a panhandler who uses the money only for alcohol, I not only would I give that beggar’s liver a short break, there would be enough coins in it for me to buy some mini cookies.

(Nutrition Facts – 311 calories, 124 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 83 milligrams of potassium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Mini Cookies
Price: $1.49 (most other locations offer it for $1)
Size: 5 mini cookies
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good. One of the cheapest items on the Jack in the Box menu. Chocolatey. Served warm and gooey. Watching bars of soap being microwaved. McDonaldland Cookies.
Cons: I’m disappointed they were not deep fried. Not awesome, but just average. Probably not baked in a conventional oven. I’m seriously disappointed they were not deep fried. Finding the room in my belly for cookies after eating a burger, fries, and 20-ounce soda.

VIDEO REVIEW: Mentos UP2U Gum (Mandarin Strawberry/Spearmint and Berry Watermelon/Fresh Mint)

Marvo — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 10:00:00 +0000

For this video review, I tried the two Mentos UP2U gum varieties Jeff didn’t review in his review. To be honest, at under five minutes, it ended up being a lot longer than I wanted. Anyhoo, enjoy.

Subscribe on iTunes. And while you’re there feel free to rate us and/or leave a comment.

REVIEW: Cinnamon M&M’s

Marvo — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:27:00 +0000

When I heard about Crispy M&M’s, I celebrated by eating a spoonful of Rice Krispies. So when I learned about Cinnamon M&M’s, I thought I’d celebrate in a similar fashion and eat a spoonful of cinnamon.

However, it turns out eating cinnamon powder is really hard to do. If only, I searched on YouTube using the words “cinnamon fail” before my celebratory cinnamon consuming, then I would’ve seen the dozens of failed cinnamon eating attempts that involved lots of coughing.

A bag of Cinnamon M&M’s contains candy with four different colored shells: red, dark red, dark brown, and darker brown. Although, at different angles, it kind of looks like there are only three. They also come in different sizes. Some are the same size of regular M&M’s, while others are just as big as Peanut M&M’s or a size in between.

The candy has a pleasant, but very faint, sweet cinnamon flavor and it goes well with the milk chocolate. You’ll probably get more cinnamon flavor if you were to open your mouth downwind from some poor man or woman who just failed at eating a spoonful of cinnamon. Unfortunately, for some strange reason, that very faint flavor pretty much disappears after eating four or five pieces, and it tastes as if you’re eating regular M&M’s.

I thought the disappearance of cinnamon flavor was weird so I decided to do some experiments, and I’ve come to the conclusion that not all the pieces of candy in a bag of Cinnamon M&M’s have cinnamon in them. (Oh wait, the ingredients list doesn’t list it as cinnamon, instead it’s listed as “Natural Flavor.”) I believe the small dark brown pieces taste like regular M&M’s, while the red and dark red pieces have cinnamon flavor.

I did eat several red pieces in a row and the cinnamon flavor didn’t fade, so perhaps the disappearance of the cinnamon flavor when I first ate them could be attributed to me not eating more red pieces. I’d find out for sure, but I’ve already gone through half of the bag while writing this review.

One last thing. It’s been several minutes since I ate my last Cinnamon M&M, but it left behind a slightly cinnamon-y, slightly weird taste in my mouth. I wish I had some cinnamon gum to get rid of it.

The seasonal Cinnamon M&M’s are a nice tangent from the usual flavors, but its subdued cinnamon flavor doesn’t make me want to start a Facebook campaign to get Mars Inc. to make it a regular year-round flavor.

(Nutrition Facts – 1.5 ounces – 210 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Cinnamon M&M’s
Price: $2.99
Size: 9.9 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant cinnamon flavor. It’s another M&M’s flavor. Candy comes in a variety of sizes and colors. Crispy M&M’s.
Cons: Faint cinnamon flavor. Not all of the pieces seem to have cinnamon flavor. Where are Crispy M&M’s? Left a weird taste in my mouth. Trying to eat a spoonful of cinnamon.

REVIEW: BK Chef’s Choice Burger

Marvo — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:42:23 +0000

Smokey the Bear taught me only I can prevent forest fires. Bell Biv DeVoe instructed I should never trust a big butt and a smile. And, Chef Boyardee made me learn to not have high expectations when it comes to foods with the word “chef” in its name. So I’m a little skeptical about the new BK Chef’s Choice Burger from the Home of the Whopper.

Burger King’s latest burger is constructed using a flame-broiled 5.5-ounce burger patty, American cheese, thick hardwood-smoked bacon, romaine lettuce, red onions, tomatoes, BK’s original grill sauce, and a Brioche bun.

It looks and sounds good, but, to be honest, so does a big butt and a smile. Speaking of things that are round and juicy, perhaps the most interesting part of the burger is the beef patty, which, according to the BK website, is made using United States Department of Agriculture-certified ground chuck and is seasoned with salt and pepper.

The USDA certification kind of worries me, but not about the BK Chef’s Choice Burger. I’m worried about everything else on the menu. I might be mistaken, but it’s the first time Burger King has ever used the USDA card to describe their meat. So it makes me wonder if their other beef, like the flame-broiled patty on the Whopper, is USDA-certified.

The BK Chef’s Choice Burger was smaller than I thought it was going to be. It’s roughly the size of a McDonald’s Big Mac. Just like the recent BK Toppers, the BK Chef’s Choice Burger has a thick patty. The seasoned ground chuck was a good choice because it created a flavorful meat disc. The puck of ground chuck was a little dry and I couldn’t taste the salt and pepper, but it was good nonetheless.

The BK grill sauce had a really tasty peppery parmesan flavor. It reminded me of a caesar salad dressing. Just like the use of ground chuck, I thought it was a good choice to put on the BK Chef’s Choice Burger. The Brioche bun was soft, pleasant, and held together as my mouth made its way through the burger. The use of romaine lettuce was surprising and it’s definitely a step up from the pale, pathetic lettuce they use on their other burgers. But the tomatoes were the same old tomatoes and the cheese was the typical cheese. As for the red onions, they had a nice mild flavor that complemented the flavor of the ground chuck patty.

You might be wondering why I haven’t mentioned anything about the thick hardwood-smoked bacon. Well, let’s just say that little piggy didn’t go wee wee wee all the way into my burger, thanks to a Burger King cook. Am I disappointed there wasn’t any bacon? Of course. But even without the bacon, I think the BK Chef’s Choice Burger is really good.

However, I do have a problem with its price. I understand that it’s being marketed as a premium burger and it should have a price that matches, but when I look at the size of the burger, I can’t help but feel kind of ripped off. As I mentioned earlier, the BK Chef’s Choice Burger is about the size of a Big Mac, which in this day and age of Angus Third Pounders is kind of small. I paid $6.49 for just the sandwich, but even if I paid a dollar less, I would still feel like I’m not getting my money’s worth.

(Nutrition Facts – 650 calories, 40 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,330 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, and 33 grams of protein.)

Other BK Chef’s Choice Burger reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: BK Chef’s Choice Burger
Price: $6.49 (sandwich only)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Really good burger. BK Grill Sauce was really good. Ground chuck patty was good. Getting to quote Bell Biv DeVoe. Romaine lettuce is a step up from the usual pale lettuce BK uses.
Cons: Pricey for the size of the burger. My burger didn’t come with bacon. Never trust a big butt and a smile. Typical BK tomatoes. USDA certification for the meat in this burger makes me wonder about their other burgers.