QUICK REVIEW: Rockstar Ginger Brew Energy Drink

Rockstar Ginger Brew Energy Drink

I took a deep breath and braced myself before my first sip of Rockstar Ginger Brew Energy Drink. With the name “Ginger Brew,” I expected the beverage to burn like every ginger beer I’ve tried.

And I expected I’d say “Mmmm” and pretend to be cool because I was drinking a ginger beer, but screaming internally from the ginger burn going down my throat.

But there was no burn, grimaces, silent screaming, tensing of muscles, or calls out to mommy, because I should’ve realized that “Ginger Brew” could also mean ginger ale. Yes, Rockstar has created an energy ginger ale. So while the ginger may help settle your stomach, the caffeine will do the opposite to your heart.

Actually, ginger isn’t listed as an ingredient. Instead, it’s under the mysterious “natural flavors.” But that’s also the case with big brand ginger ales, like Seagram’s and Canada Dry.

The ginger flavor is as light as an elf’s breath. It’s so light that if I didn’t know it was a ginger ale, I would’ve thought it was a regional citrus soda with a silly name like Quenk. I wouldn’t be surprised if Rockstar Ginger Brew is a slightly tweaked version of Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus.

Rockstar Ginger Brew Energy Drink 2

Overall, it’s still a decent tasting energy drink that’s not overly syrupy like other Rockstar varieties. If the ginger flavor was slightly more intense, I would’ve like it more. It’s easy to drink and I’d definitely buy it again if I need to slam down 160 milligrams of caffeine and settle my tummy.

Purchased Price: N/A
Size: 16 oz. can
Purchased at: Purchased on eBay (currently an amp exclusive flavor)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 140 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 32 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% niacin, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12, and 100% pantothenic acid.

QUICK REVIEW: Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus Energy Drink

Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus Energy Drink

For years I’ve wanted a caffeinated 7Up or Sprite. YEARS.

But despite my best efforts, which included whining under my breath to a cooler that was filled with 7Up and Sprite and begging on their Facebook pages, I haven’t had the chance to guzzle a clear lemon-lime soda with my favorite stimulant.

But that’s no longer the case thanks to Rockstar Energy and its new Revolt Killer Citrus.

Update: I forgot 7Up had dnL.

A 16-ounce can has 240 milligrams of caffeine, which, if my math is correct, is 240 milligrams more than 7Up and Sprite combined. The heart-thumping beverage doesn’t taste exactly like either big brand soda, but it does have a crisp and clean lemon-lime flavor that could easily be mistaken for a store brand soda with a name like Sprittee or 7Lemon.

I’m not sure why the can has camouflage, but I also don’t know why folks who aren’t hunters or in the military wear camouflage. Maybe it is meant for hunters and the “killer” in Killer Citrus, represents what hunters do to their prey. Also, if I had to wait all day for some deer or bird to show up, I’d need something to keep me awake too.

Also, I’m trying to figure out why it’s called “Revolt.” The word could mean rising up against something or it could mean feeling disgust. I mean, the beverage doesn’t make me feel disgusted, but why give it a name that could mean that? I dunno.

Overall, thank goodness for Rockstar’s Revolt Killer Citrus Energy Drink. Because now I don’t need to put in more than the 0.5 percent of effort I was making to help make a caffeinated lemon-lime soft drink a reality.

Purchased Price: $2.29
Size: 16 fl oz
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 fl oz) 130 calories, 0 grams of fat, 45 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 32 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% niacin, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12, and 100% pantothenic acid.

REVIEW: Java Monster Salted Caramel

Java Monster Salted Caramel

Java Monster flavors are like Ben & Jerry’s flavors in that you could blindfold me in front of the store’s display case that holds them, spin me around multiple times while Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me ‘Round” plays on the store’s P.A. system, allow me to randomly select a flavor, slap that flavor out of my hand, yell “bad doggie” at me, hand me a different flavor, and whatever that is it’ll be tasty.

I’ve never had a horrible Ben & Jerry’s flavor, and after drinking the new Java Monster Salted Caramel, I still haven’t had a bad Java Monster flavor.

Speaking of flavors, Monster Energy, maybe we could see a Pumpkin Spice Java Monster in the fall?

Each can has 170 milligrams of caffeine that gets my heart pumpkin. I mean, pumpin’. Geez, I really want a Java Monster Pumpkin Spice. That sounds like a lot, and it is, but it’s slightly lower than other flavors. Loca Moca and Mean Bean Java Monster has 188 milligrams and Kona Blend Java Monster has 189 milligrams.

Java Monster Salted Caramel 2

The best way I can describe the coffee drink’s flavor is to say it’s caramel bookended by bursts of saltiness. Now when I write “saltiness” I’m not saying my mouth got slapped by the Morton’s Salt Girl. It’s faint and easy to miss, which I guess is a good thing because I wouldn’t want my mouth to think I’m swimming in the Dead Sea. But the saltiness is so light that if it was called Java Monster Caramel, I wouldn’t think otherwise. As for the caramel flavor, it’s as if Monster melted down Werther’s Original and added it to their coffee, milk, and sugar mixture. Overall, it’s pretty damn good.

But is it better than the other Java Monster flavors?

No.

I like them all equally. But it’s nice to have another flavor, because, I’ll be honest, I was getting a little tired of the vanilla and chocolate flavored ones.

(Nutrition Facts – 15 ounces – 180 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 550 milligrams of sodium, 330 milligrams of potassium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 25 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 15 oz. can
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Werther’s-like caramel flavor. Easy to drink. Never had a bad Java Monster flavor. Never had a bad Ben & Jerry’s flavor. Pumpkin Spice Java Monster?
Cons: Slightly less caffeine than other Java Monster flavors. “You Spin Me ‘Round” being the default soundtrack to being spun around. Pumpkin Spice Java Monster?

REVIEW: Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart

Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart

I’d like to apologize to Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart.

On several occasions, on this blog, out in public, and in a mirror, I’ve said the grape-flavored Mountain Dew Pitch Black is the best Mountain Dew flavor. So when I learned the brand was coming out with Midnight Grape Kickstart, I said to myself in the mirror, “YASSSSS!!! A grape-flavored Dew!!!” because I thought it would taste like my beloved Pitch Black.

But after drinking it and comparing it with Pitch Black (which I received from Mountain Dew a few weeks ago), I realized I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up because my logic was flawed.

I thought Grape + Mountain Dew = Pitch Black, but that’s not the case and I should’ve known that. Does the Black Cherry Kickstart taste like Mountain Dew Code Red? No. Does Orange Citrus Kickstart taste like Mountain Dew Livewire? No. So I’m sorry to Midnight Grape Kickstart for thinking it would taste like something that it doesn’t.

How can I make it up to you, Midnight Grape Kickstart?

A glowing review? Nope, you’re not going to get that.

Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart 2

Much like all the Kickstart varieties that come in 16-ounce cans, this grape one has 5 percent juice, which comes from white grape juice concentrate. The addition of juice gives the beverage a natural grape flavor and not the candy-like grape Pitch Black has. Although it’s white grape juice, the color and flavor are more like a purple concord grape.

It’s not syrupy sweet like regular Mountain Dew sodas, thanks to artificial sweeteners ace K and Sucralose backing up the high fructose corn syrup. The use of those sweeteners cut the sugar content to 20 grams per can, which is a third of what’s in a 16-ounce serving of regular Dew. However, the lower sugar content makes it taste like a lightly carbonated diet grape juice or lightly carbonated grape juice that’s been watered down.

To be honest, I didn’t really care for it the first time. But after having a second can, it’s grown on me. However, that could be the 90 milligrams of caffeine per can talking.

I’m a fan of Mountain Dew Kickstart. I regularly purchase the Black Cherry and Fruit Punch flavors. But, even though Midnight Grape has grown on me, I can’t say the new flavor is good enough to join the other two flavors as a regular purchase.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can – 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 105 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: 99 cents
Size: 16 oz. can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent grape flavor that may take some getting used to. Fewer calories and sugar than regular Mountain Dew. Contains fruit juice. Natural grape flavor. 90 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.
Cons: If you’re expected Mtn Dew Pitch Black, stop expecting. Tastes like diet grape juice or watered down grape juice. Apologizing to a Mountain Dew flavor.

QUICK ENERGY DRINK REVIEW: Rockstar Pure Zero Watermelon Energy Drink

Rockstar Pure Zero Watermelon Energy Drink

Rockstar’s Pure Zero Watermelon Energy Drink has 240 milligrams of caffeine, so this review will have 240 words.

When I think of large fruits with lots of seeds that are popular this time of year, I think of pumpkin. But it appears Rockstar Energy thinks of watermelon. Of course, a pumpkin-flavored energy drink sounds gross, so I think Rockstar picked the right fruit for their new energy drink.

The Pure Zero line gets its name because it has zero calories and sugar. It also has zero fat, zero protein, and lots of zeroes in the 100 percent values of B vitamins it has. And, of course, there’s the zero in the 240 milligrams of caffeine it has (play Motley Crue’s “Jumpstart My Heart” intro here).

As for its flavor, imagine a watermelon slice that’s not quite ripe. Then imagine taking a bite from that slice from the side and getting a bit too much of the melon’s white part. Now imagine an artificial and candified version of that flavor and you’ll get an idea of what this energy drink tastes like. There are also moments when it has an artificial sour apple flavor.

I know my description doesn’t make it sound that good, and I didn’t care for the first few sips, but its flavor grew on me. Maybe my tastebuds are weird. Or maybe it’s the huge jolt of caffeine making me type this, but I enjoyed its flavor.

Rockstar Pure Zero Watermelon Energy Drink 2

Purchased Price: 2 for $3.00
Size: 16 oz. cans
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 fl. oz) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% niacin, 100% vitamin B12, 100% vitamin B6, and 100% pantothenic acid.

QUICK ENERGY DRINK REVIEW: Muscle Monster Banana Energy Shake

Muscle Monster Banana Energy Shake

The Muscle Monster Banana Energy Shake has 160 milligrams of caffeine, so this review will have exactly 160 words.

This energy shake gets its banana flavor from banana puree and natural flavor; its 25 grams of protein from ultrafiltered skim milk, reduced fat milk, and calcium caseinate; and its sweet, sweet caffeine from sweet, sweet caffeine.

Thanks to the banana puree, the first two or three sips were pleasant and reminded me of banana NesQuik. But then all the energy ingredients seemed to turn the flavor into bizzaro banana.

Look, before this I loved ALL banana flavored products. I even love those hated banana Runts. But this drink proves I don’t love ALL banana products. After the first few sips the banana flavor got weak, the bitterness from the energy ingredients stood out, and the aftertaste was as unpleasant as most sugar-free energy drinks.

I finished the can, but I wouldn’t buy it again. It isn’t terrible, it’s just tolerable.

Muscle Monster Banana Energy Shake 2

Purchased Price: $4.62 for 2
Size: 15 oz. cans
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (one can) 200 calories, 35 calories from fat, calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 410 milligrams of sodium, 780 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 16 grams of sugar, 25 grams of protein, 90% vitamin C, 60% calcium, 190% riboflavin, 190% niacin, and 190% vitamin B6.