REVIEW: Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)

Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)

Coffee is probably one of the original gangstas of energy drinks, so the idea of adding an energy drink to coffee seems unnecessary, like a bra on an Olsen twin. But companies who like to energize the masses and make money doing so think this fusion is necessary and have created coffee energy drinks to make the beverage of choice for tired office workers everywhere in their cubicles of shame a little more extreme.

Monster Energy was the first to do it, Rockstar Energy was next to do it, Starbucks recently came out with theirs, and now Full Throttle Energy Drink has their own coffee energy drink with the uninspired name of Full Throttle Coffee.

Next up for the Full Throttle Energy Drink? Following others into a volcano.

Full Throttle Coffee comes in three flavors: Mocha, Vanilla, and Caramel. I’ve pretty much enjoyed every single coffee energy drink I’ve tried, including these from Full Throttle. However, these are definitely sweeter and creamier than the coffee energy drinks from the other companies. But I guess when each can has 43-48 grams of sugar and has cream in its ingredients list, it fucking makes sense.

The chocolate, vanilla, and caramel flavors really drown out the coffee taste in their respective drinks, which is good if you don’t like the bitterness of coffee, but bad if you like your coffee to be as bitter as your feeling towards your ex-significant other.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can (varies between flavor) – 250-270 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 370-390 milligrams of sodium, 45-50 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 43-48 grams of sugar, 4-5 grams of protein, 15% calcium, 200% niacin, 200% vitamin B6, 1123-1124 milligrams of taurine, 167-168 milligrams of ginseng extract, 27 milligrams of carnitine, 1.3 milligrams of guarana extract, and 126-131 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.)

Item: Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)
Price: $1.99 (15 ounces)
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Mocha)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Vanilla)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Caramel)
Pros: Smells and tastes good. No high fructose corn syrup. Creamy. Strong chocolate, vanilla, and caramel flavor. Over 100 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.
Cons: Another coffee energy drink. High fructose corn syrup. Lots of fucking sugar. Sweetness drowns out coffee flavor. Maybe too sweet for some. Uninspired name. Cubicles of shame. Just following other energy drinks.