The Impulsive Buy » Beverage

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 2/4/2012

Marvo — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

A Wienerschnitzel Junkyard Dog comes with chili, cheese, onions, fries, and mustard. Sadly, it does not come with a wheel from a 1970′s Datsun Sunny. (via An Immovable Feast)

The British sure love mystery. They gave us Sherlock Holmes and the PBS show Mystery! I wouldn’t be surprised if the Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine was a Vauxhall. Now the British have mystery flavored potato chips. (via Foodstuff Finds)

Here’s a fun little game: Get completely wasted and try to click one of the links in this sentence that lead to the alcohol-related candy reviews Candyblog posted this past week. (via Candyblog)

Trader Joe’s Choczilla Nut Pie makes me giggle. Perhaps it’s because choczilla, nut, and pie have all been used in porn titles. (via What’s Good at Trader Joe’s)

If you hear the name Sweet Blossom Lavender Flowers and think it’s either a women’s deodorant or perfume, you’d be wrong. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Image via flickr user Hugo90 / CC BY 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 1/28/2012

Marvo — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 11:20:07 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Thanks to this I can now rub Hooters on my hooters. I hope it burns. (via Foodette Reviews)

If Dr Pepper Ten is just for guys, then who is Sunkist Ten for? I hope it’s other citrus fruits. Cannibalism! (via BevReview)

If I found myself stranded in the middle of Death Valley during the day, I wouldn’t want a Death Valley Root Beer. I’d just want a ride home in air conditioned comfort. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Mars calls their latest candy bar 3 Musketeers Coconut. But because coconuts are big and round and it’s a 3 Musketeers bar, I shall call it the Porthos Bar. (via Candyblog)

Image via flickr user Miker69 / CC BY SA 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 1/21/2012

Marvo — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Hmm…Peanut butter jelly in a slimy energy bar form or, with a few more ingredients, a form that’ll make me drunk enough to eat peanut butter jelly in a slimy energy bar form. Decisions. (via Crazy Food Dude and Food Junk)

Turns out the McDonald’s Hot Habanero sauce is as spicy as a Ronald McDonald and Wendy romance. (via An Immovable Feast)

There’s already a Big Cock Energy Drink, so of course someone had to make a Little Pussie Energy Drink. So now that this low bar has been set, I guess we just have to wait for Guarana Gangbang Go-Go Juice. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

Swedish fish…but not what many of you might be thinking of. (via Dave’s Cupboard)

NEWS: Capri Sun Super V Will Trick Kids Into Sucking Vegetables Through A Straw

Marvo — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 10:05:39 +0000

Is the new Capri Sun Super V Fruit & Vegetable Juice Drink the latest way for parents to trick their kids into getting some vegetables in their diet?

A juice pouch with a 3/4 serving of fruit and 1/4 serving of vegetables? That doesn’t sound very efficient.

When I have kids and need to encourage them to eat their vegetables, I’m just going to tell them, “Look, son/daughter. It’s carrots and cucumbers. There are worse vegetables your mom and I could’ve given you, like brussels sprouts, beets, turnips, cauliflower, and radishes. We’ll save those for when you’re naughty, but you were good today so you get the good vegetables. However, if you don’t eat your carrots and cucumbers right now, I’m going to drive to the store to buy some beets and radishes, cut them up, and put them on your plate with the carrots and cucumbers. And you’re going to have to eat all of them.”

Man, I’m going to be an awesome parent. Sure, they’ll probably end up in therapy, but at least they’ll be eating their vegetables. Someone should award me with a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug right now.

The Capri Sun Super V juice drinks are 66 percent juice and come in three flavors: Apple, Berry, and Fruit Punch. The vegetables come in the form of sweet potato and carrot juice concentrates. I didn’t know one could juice a sweet potato. Maybe I should’ve paid closer attention to Jack LaLanne’s Juice Tiger informercials, instead of using them to help me fall asleep.

One Capri Sun Super V pouch has 70 calories, 0 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin C, and 10% vitamin E.

Image via flickr user Newtown grafitti / CC BY 2.0

NEWS: If You Got Your Glutton On This Holiday Season, Jamba’s New Fit ‘n Fruitful Smoothies May Help You

Marvo — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:00:00 +0000

I’m afraid to step on a scale or look at myself naked in the mirror after being a food whore for the past few weeks. During that time there have been holiday dinners, quarts of egg nog, dozens of cookies, pieces of cakes, slices of pies, and people giving me candy as if I’m a bank teller but the only currency I accept are chocolate Santas and Hershey’s Kisses.

After all that I probably need to lose weight and convince my friends and family to give $5 gift cards instead of enough candy to make my kitchen counter look like I’m preparing for Halloween. Well, Jamba Juice recently introduced their new line of Fit ‘n Fruitful Smoothies to help people lose weight.

The Fit ‘n Fruitful Smoothies are being promoted as a meal substitute and come in three flavors: Berry Blend, Strawberry Raspberry Banana, and Peach Mango. Each smoothie has 14 essential vitamins and minerals, are a great source of protein and fiber, contains two or more servings of fruit, and are made with a Weight Burner Boost.

According to the Jamba Juice website, the Weight Burner Boost is made with conjugated linoleic acid, or “CLA,” which is derived from safflower oil. CLA is a naturally occurring fatty acid that…ARRRGGGGHHH! TOO MUCH BORING SCIENCE TALK!

An Original size Berry Blend has 390 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 95 milligrams of sodium, 74 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 54 grams of sugar, 13 grams of protein. A Peach Mango in an Original size cup has 400 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 79 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 61 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein. Finally, an Original size Strawberry Raspberry Banana has 390 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 75 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 59 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

Image via flickr user Zach Dischner / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Mello Yello Zero

Jeff — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:00:53 +0000

Back when I was in college I drank a lot of Fruitopia and Surge. Surge was Coca-Cola’s answer to Mountain Dew. They even aped the extreme sports campaign of Mountain Dew but no matter, I liked Surge and was impartial to the Mountain. In some stupid way I thought drinking Surge was cooler because it was not as popular as Mountain Dew at my university.

Yeah…I was one of those idiots who felt that if things got popular, they were no longer good. Screaming “sell out” while I had an ill-conceived mohawk and noshing on Asian shrimp flavored snacks. God, if I could go back in time I would kick myself in the ghoulies and then wipe the mud off my Cole Haan’s all over my 1995 version’s face.

“Grow the fuck up kid,” I would shout, grabbing myself by his/my ratty Stereolab t-shirt. Then I would drop me back on the ground and kick me 300-style down a pit. Like a cliché, I would raise my arms in victory to the opus of the Maximum Overdrive soundtrack, AC/DC’s “Who Made Who?”

Anyhow, as time went on I discovered martinis and manhattans. Surge eventually went the way of the Sega Dreamcast, pogs and Tamagotchis (which taught a generation to never have kids or pets because the damn thing was so needy). Around this time I noticed a soft drink with the ugliest logo ever called Mello Yello.

I remember that soda when I was a little kid. More importantly, I remembered the original 70’s logo with the cool bubble letters. It reminded me of the neon Doctor Who emblem with Peter Davison. I didn’t know what this strange font was all about but bought a can anyway because I have always wanted to try it. It was too sweet for my taste and I couldn’t get past that wacky lettering. I forgot it and whenever had a rare craving for a citrus soda, I took to Mountain Dew. It was convenient and readily available.

Recently, the House of Coke added Mello Yello to their successful Zero line. If you have tasted the regular Mello Yello but think it is way too sweet you will be in for a pleasant surprise with the Zero edition. I have tried all of the Zero line and personally, I mostly prefer them over the diet versions. First, they taste almost close to the regular versions. Second, the obvious artificial sweetness found in some of the diet ones are muted in the Zero editions.

I really dislike sodas that are amped up in the sweetness department and was concerned about my last encounter with Yello (the soda, not the band). However with the Zero brand, I had to try it and I think my 1995 counterpart would agree as well. The black can is punched up with the retro 70’s logo. “The original smooth” line purred on the can. It sounds more appropriate as a tagline for a Tarantino flick doesn’t it?

I love citrus soft drinks so if you do not, Mello Yello Zero won’t change your mind. Granted I can only drink about one of these every so often because too much of it kills me and I’m now a cola guy. The taste is sweet enough for my preference and not so sugary that it leaves a sticky film on your teeth. Wait, let my 1995 version tell you himself.

Jeff: “Drink this and tell them what you think!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “What? I’m drawing a comic book about goth superheroes… AND this stuff is neon yellow-green like a glow stick that all those ravers dance with, what is this bro? It’s weird looking.”

Jeff: “Shut up and drink it or I’ll rip up your damn Sandman comics autographed by Gaiman!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (sniffs the glass) “Okay, okay, smells of faint lemons but dude, this looks like the Toxic Avenger’s urine test, brah.”

Jeff: “Did I really talk like that? Would you freaking drink it already?”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (takes a cautious sip) “You can taste some kind of citrus fruit and it isn’t overcome by any sweetness. It’s actually refreshing, and a lemon-lime flavor hits the back of your throat. It’s bereft of any syrupy unpleasant aftertaste.”

Jeff: “Bereft? Who says that???”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “I will say that if someone like sodas on the sweeter side, this may be a bit too bland for their taste buds.”

Jeff: “Good point Jeff and it has to be consumed cold immediately because it doesn’t taste great at all as it heads toward room temperature. Now can you turn off that Prodigy CD? Damn you have bad taste in music too!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “Look I drank it, leave me alone yo. This world doesn’t need more suits, what happened to you and your dreams of becoming an artist? Oooh, lookatme I’m too busy looking up laws and shit, I’m so important, lookatme…Big deal bozo!”

Jeff: “SHUT UP…And note in a year, when a woman buys you a New Monkees CD to impress you, she is hinting that she wants to date you. NOT talk about all thirteen episodes of the damned show you idiot!” (Kicks 1995 Jeff in the baklavas)

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (Wriggles in pain and disappears in a flash back to the land of horrible Ace of Base singles)

So there you have it. If you like Diet Mountain Dew, I recommend you give Mello Yello Zero a pull. The soda doesn’t have a strong artificial sweetness that I find in other diet drinks. I also recommend you stay away from those Ace of Base singles…yeesh.

(Nutrition Facts – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Mello Yello Zero
Price: $3.00 for a 12 pack case
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased: Publix
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: It is quite refreshing if cold. Not overly sweet. Time travelling to warn yourself of the upcoming pitfalls. Low in the sodium department. Varied enough to not taste like Diet Mountain Dew. New Monkees.
Cons: It is quite yucky if it starts to reach room temperature. The color will remind you of glow sticks. Time traveling may cause Butterfly effect (the theory, not the stupid film). May be too low in the sweet department for some. May be a miss for fans who like Diet Mountain Dew. Ace of Base.

No related posts.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 1/7/2012

Marvo — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

If I ever want to see two peanut mascots fight, I’d like to see the monocle-wearing Mr. Peanut in an olde tyme bare knuckles brawl with the handlebar mustache-wearing Lord Nut Levington. (via Eat!Drink!Snack!)

There are all kinds of gummy vitamins, but I think drug companies need to make gummy pharmaceuticals like Gummy Viagra. I can imagine the slogan right now…It’s soft, but it’ll make you hard. (via Healthnuttxo)

This everything bacon bullshit has to end! It was awesome in 2009. It was funny in 2010. It got a little old in 2011. But now it’s 2012 and we need to end it. If we don’t, I hope the Mayan calendar does it for us. (via Food Junk)

I’ve always wanted to eat my vegetables in chip form. I already get my dairy in chip form thanks to Doritos. (via Junk Food Guy)

Image via flickr user Tomas Fano / CC BY SA 2.0

REVIEW: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)

Marvo — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:21:13 +0000

NOTE: Click here for our regular MiO Liquid Water Enhancer review

The new Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancers are kind of like NyQuil. They both have camel case names, both come in a cherry flavor and some weird green flavor, and they both make me grimace when I consume them straight out of their containers.

However, while NyQuil contains antihistamines and alcohol to make one sleepy, MiO Energy contains caffeine and B vitamins to make me hold back Mr. Sandman for a while.

Because of the caffeine they contain, the MiO Energy bottles have a warning that states they’re not for children and should not be added to alcoholic drinks. I also thought they didn’t have any warnings about squirting it straight into your mouth instead of a glass of water, but on the opposite side of the children and alcoholic beverages warning, the bottle says, “Always dilute concentrate.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t read that until after I squirted some Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Liquid Water Enhancer down my gullet, so my heart could’ve exploded. Thankfully, it didn’t.

When a 1/2 teaspoon of MiO Energy is squirted into eight ounces of water, the mixture provides 60 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine, which is 20 less milligrams than a Red Bull. MiO Energy is also cheaper than a Red Bull. For the price of one bottle of MiO ($4.99 regular price), which can make 18 servings, you can only buy two 10-ounce cans of Red Bull, or if you’re at a bar, half a can of Red Bull.

When mixed with water, both MiO Energy flavors have a slight medicinal flavor, which will probably be off-putting to many drinkers. At first, I didn’t care for the Black Cherry flavor because it kind of reminded me of watered down cough syrup. But it’s grown on me and now I think it tastes more like a cherry Tootsie Pop.

Green Thunder tastes like an energy drink. If you’re someone who likes to try all kinds of energy drinks, it tastes like one of those cheap energy drinks that tries to copy the flavor of Red Bull, except without any carbonation. For those of you who don’t like to try all kinds of energy drinks, it has a pleasant sweet and tart flavor. Although, as I mentioned earlier, it’s also slightly medicinal. I like both flavors, but if I had to pick a favorite, I’d choose Green Thunder, but not by much.

As for its ability as an energy booster, I think it did a pretty good job, providing me with a jolt of energy that lasted a few hours. To be honest, I was surprised by how well it worked since it has less caffeine than I’m used to consuming.

MiO Energy costs the same and comes in the same 1.62-ounce size as regular MiO. However, a bottle of MiO Energy makes only 18 servings, which is 25 percent fewer servings than a bottle of regular MiO.

But who cares about that, besides cost-conscious people? I certainly don’t because MiO Energy has sweet, sweet caffeine, and that’s all that matters to me and my tired ass.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% niacin, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Other MiO Energy reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Drinkable Review
Drink What
Caffeine King

Item: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Green Thunder)
Pros: Contains sweet, sweet caffeine. Black Cherry tastes like a cherry Tootsie Pop. Green Thunder taste like an non-carbonated energy drink. Good energy booster. Easy to make.
Cons: Makes less serving than regular MiO. Slightly medicinal flavor might be off-putting. Contains a pitiful amount of B vitamins. Squirting MiO straight into my mouth.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 12/31/2011

Marvo — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

No beverage can improve someone’s golf game. But I know having extramarital affairs with enough women to fill a bus and having to look into the eyes of a betrayed ex-wife and children can hurt someone’s golf game. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal…understandable. Peanut Butter Toast Crunch Cereal…I eat peanut butter on toast all the time. French Toast Crunch Cereal…of course. But now General Mills is just making shit up. (via Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp)

Hey, Starbucks! You offer your breakfast blend in VIA form, but how about making a special VIA morning blend for the I-Can’t-Believe-I-Had-A-One-Night-Stand-With-You crowd that’ll help us forget about it. (via Hot Ink Reviews)

Four words: Japanese hospital food review. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

I didn’t know potato, tortilla, and pita chips could be so festive. Maybe I’ll hang them on my Christmas tree next year. Or eat them while looking at my Festivus pole. (via Junk Food Guy)

I really wish these soylent green crackers were made from real humans. Because if they were, I wouldn’t have to hunt some random unsuspecting stranger walking alone in a shady part of town to be able to enjoy human flesh. (via Food Junk)

Image via flickr user GorillaGolfBlog / CC BY SA 2.0

REVIEW: Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins

Marvo — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 10:40:40 +0000

With it being orange-tangerine flavored, I expected the MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins to have some vitamin C. But the nutrition facts clearly state, “Not a significant source of Fat Cal, Sat Fat, Trans Fat, Cholest, Fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, and Iron.”

So what is it a significant source of?

Well, after scanning the words and numbers on the bottle and trying this new MiO flavor, I have to say it’s only a significant source of sucralose and the color orange. While it does have B vitamins, an 8-ounce serving of this MiO provides only 10 percent of your daily value of vitamins B3, B6, and B12. Pfff…Me and my gummy multivitamin laugh at that 10 percent.

Having 10 percent of anything makes me wonder, why bother? A bowl of Cocoa Puffs and most other kids cereals provide 25 percent of your daily value of B vitamins. Or if you want to drown yourself in B vitamins, half a bottle of 5-Hour Energy has 75 percent of your daily value of vitamin B3, 1,000 percent of your daily value of vitamin B6, and over 4,000 percent of your daily value of vitamin B12.

Even if you consumed all 24 servings a bottle of this MiO provides, you still wouldn’t get as much vitamins B6 and B12 as a 5-Hour Energy, but at least your pee might turn orange, allowing you to write your name in the snow using a color other than yellow.

If you’ve never made a beverage using MiO, the instructions read as if you’re playing with a Bop-It. First, you flip it, then tip it, then sip it, and then click it.

The Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer smells as if I walked into an orange Tang dust cloud. It also tastes like the stuff that was once consumed by NASA astronauts on some Gemini space missions, except less tangy. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of drinking Tang and want a reference that your grandparents won’t get, it tastes like a much sweeter VitaminWater Essential. And for those of you who have never downed a Tang or VitaminWater, what are you doing reading a blog filled with junk and processed food reviews?

The bottle says it contains “Natural Flavors with Other Natural Flavors,” but it’s artificially sweetastic thanks to it being a significant source of sucralose. Even though it’s artificially sweetastic, I like the orange-tangerine flavored MiO as much as I like the fruit punch version. Although, it almost became undrinkable when I got a little overzealous with the squeezing.

The point of MiO is to encourage us to drink the recommended amount of water and I think the Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins can motivate me to do so. It’s a fine addition to the MiO line, even though the pitiful amounts of B vitamins are completely bogus additions.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin B3, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Other Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins reviews:
Drink What

Item: Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 fluid ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Tang, but not as tangy. The pleasure derived from destroying a Bop-It because it’s so frustrating to beat. Astronauts. A significant source of the color orange. Gummy multivitamins. Makes 24 8-ounce servings, if you’re not overzealous with the squeezing.
Cons: Amounts of B vitamins are a joke. Artificially sweetastic. It’s orange flavored but contains no vitamin C. Get cloyingly sweet when one gets overzealous with the squeezing.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 12/17/2011

Marvo — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 10:50:55 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

This will allow you to enjoy prime rib without having to wait in line at a buffet for someone in a white uniform to cut a slab for you under a heating lamp and place it on your plate with a small cup of au jus dipping sauce. But after eating it you’ll wish you were waiting in line at a buffet for someone in a white uniform to cut a slab for you under a heating lamp and place it on your plate with a small cup of au jus dipping sauce. (via Freezer Aisle Files)

Mince pie ice cream…boring. Minced meat pie ice cream…not boring, but also damn disgusting. (via Foodstuff Finds)

It might just be me, but Big Bamboo Jamaican Irish Moss Peanut Drink is a total word clusterfuck. (via Foodette Reviews)

Hanging candy canes on branches is a great way to decorate a Christmas tree. Hanging bottles of candy cane soda on branches is a great way to kill a Christmas tree by ripping off its limbs. (via BevReview)

Image via flickr user VirtualErn / CC BY 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 12/10/2011

Marvo — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

You got your Tabasco in my chocolate! You got your chocolate in my Tabasco! Two great tastes that seem kind of weird together. (via Candyblog)

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her Greens & Whey. Along came a spider, who landed in the Greens & Whey beside her and its taste scared the spider away. (via Rodzilla Reviews)

Spoiler alert! The surprise in this Pure Protein Peanut Butter Caramel Surprise Bar is that it sucks. (via Crazy Food Dude)

Damn the Japanese and their foods that are too cute to eat. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

Only a handful of you will get this reference: So move back ya self dread, you know the element. The Tribe is good for your health like a can of Nutrament. (via Foodette Reviews)

Image via flickr user ErinKhoo / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Pepsi Kick (Mexico)

Jeff — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 23:34:48 +0000

Three rules about Mexico.

1. Don’t mess with Danny Trejo, he will eff you up. What? He’s American? ..from California?

2. The Volcano taco’s rule. Huh? That’s not Mexican? You’re kidding me? Not even the red shell part? (hangs head in shame).

3. Coolest thing ever from Mexico: Menudo’s “Like a Cannonball” (Spanish Language version is the ONLY version). Seriously??? They are from Puerto Rico? Really? Aw man I just suck.

Everyone knows the other cardinal rule but please indulge me as I amend it: do not drink the water, but drink the Pepsi Kick.

This product answers the question, “What would happen if Pepsi and Fruit Punch Kool-Aid had unprotected sticky wet sex and made a chubby cute drooly baby?” Meet Pepsi Kick and this variation is one of the tastiest shades I have gulped down in a long time. Even better, no calories and it is sugar free.

Now I know you are asking yourself, “Why the hell did you review something that is only available in Mexico?” Ah hah! I truly suspect that this soda is available in many of our friendly Hispanic markets in the states (friendly as long as you don’t point and giggle at the funny names for products like I do). Further evidence you ask?

The bottle I acquired has cross promotion with the NFL, specifically I bought a bottle that have the Jets and one with the Giants packaging. My understanding is that all thirty-two teams are represented which would lead me to believe that these were intended for the American market as well. I could do without the Jacksonville Jaguars version but everyone’s a critic in this day and age. Suck it Jacksonville!!!

I came across Pepsi Kick during a pause from drinking gin martinis and eating fish roe on water crackers. You see, our cruise ship stopped off in Cozumel. The first thing I did, besides glaring at the people hawking gaudy touristy tee-shirts and glass bottles pressed like a Panini (who buys that crap?), was to run toward the convenience store.

Next to hanging out on the pool lounge where endless pina colada’s are hefted, Valhalla to me during a cruise are the foreign convenience stores I encounter when we dock. I could not wait to see all the foreign products.

My goal was to buy some Mexican-only Lays potato chip flavors and bottles of Mexican Coca-Cola’s which are sweeter and necessary in making a killer Cuba Libre cocktail. Yes, yes…I know the irony of using a Mexican product to make a Cuban cocktail and all the dislike of the two. Sue me. I lived the Chinese-Japanese-Korean triangle of hate, so I understand. My parents still haven’t forgiven me for having our rehearsal dinner at a sushi restaurant. Marrying a white person still irks them.

So what gives Pepsi this kick? And why am I asking myself all these questions in this written article? Because I am off my meds and like Richard Bachman, my twinner demands attention.

This Pepsi has three unique qualities. First, it is loaded with caffeine. Second, it contains disgusting ginseng root. My grandparents used to punish me when I was a child by making me chew on some ginseng. I can still taste it to this day, a dull bitterness that got worse with each bite. Gah! I would rather eat a meal “two girls, one cup” style (Dated joke? Perhaps).

Third, Pepsi’s logo is a bit different (as seen in the picture). I heard that Pepsi has been phasing out their logo, so perhaps this is the new one. I could be wrong, I’m a Coke guy (not the hedge fund manager kind).

Ginseng. Caffeine. Energy drink right? Thus the “kick” label. Notwithstanding the gross ginseng, thank goodness the Pepsi didn’t taste like the horrible root at all. The flavor was definitely all cola, but it had a nice clean fruit punch flavor after each sip. I loved it so much. Me loves you Pepsi Kick!!! Furthermore, the cola wasn’t so sweet and void of any syrupy wash left in my mouth or throat.

The bottle is labeled with “Despierta” which I believe means “Awake.” Not sure if it jazzed me up or made me want to lift a giant novelty Energizer battery like Jacko did in those commercials (look them up, when I was a child Jacko was the man until he guest starred on “Knight Rider”) but the taste won me over. (Wow, really dated joke.)

I’m not sure if a drink is refreshing if you’re not thirsty and what drink isn’t if you are? I will say this…Pepsi Kick is worth hunting for. Forage for them when you hit your neighborhood Hispanic market or when in Mexico, pick up one or twelfty. You will not be disappointed. I was wriggling in anxiety, scared that the customs agents wouldn’t let me carry the few bottles I bought back on the ship. I was able to smuggle them onboard and I hummed Glenn Frey’s “Smuggler’s Blues” in my head (another dated joke???).

Bottom line, buy it if you can find it and if you can find it, buy them all.

(Nutrition Facts – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 mg of sodium per 200 ml serving (bottle is 500 ml), less than 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams if sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein)

Item: Pepsi Kick
Price: $1.00 (don’t ask me how much is that in peso’s…I can barely add)
Size: 500 ml
Purchased at: At a no name Mexican convenience store in Cozumel
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: The taste of a fruit punched cola that is balanced in sweetness. No calories or sugar which is rare for an energy drink. Menudo’s “Like A Cannonball” video. Hoping Jacksonville loses their team. Celebrity Cruise line. Indulgence.
Cons: May be difficult to find. Dated jokes. Two girls one cup video. Menudo the soup (ack!). My love/hate relationship with the Buffalo Bills. Cruise ship sushi. Ignorance.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 12/3/2011

Marvo — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Whenever the electricity goes out, all I need is a rubber band, some bacon, and these gummies to play Angry Birds. (via Foodette Reviews

A Rogue Voodoo Doughnut Bacon Maple Ale sounds disgusting, but it would be even more disgusting if it was a Rogue Voodoo Doughnut Bacon Maple Doughnut Ale. (via Food Junk)

I blame this soda for all the cavities I had in middle school. Oh, and not brushing my teeth. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Hmm…I wonder if this Slow Motion Potion can ease my emotion and prevent me from making a commotion when my devotion for a Laotian lotion is challenged when its dumped into the ocean. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

This crème brulée isn’t hard. Perhaps it needs to see another crème brulée with its top off. (via What’s Good At Trader Joe’s)

Image via flickr user kevinspencer / CC BY 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 11/26/2011

Marvo — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Back in the 1980s, Snickers was promoted as a candy bar that could satisfy me, but it never could satisfy my childhood hunger. Too bad Snickers back then didn’t come in a one pound size, like they do today. (via Candyblog)

Hey, guys who like to cheat on your girlfriend or wife. Can’t come up with a good explanation for why you have the smell of perfume on you to your girlfriend or wife after coming home late? Well, you have one now. (via Foodstuff Finds)

I fully believe a bottle of Extenze Male Enlargement Energy Shot could extend my penis, if I duct tape the bottle to the tip of my penis. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

Many of you are probably sick of seeing, smelling, or hearing about turkey, so here’s a Turkey Hill ice cream review for you. Oh, and here’s another Turkey Hill ice cream review. All hate mail can be sent to theimpulsivebuy at gmail dot com. (via Junk Food Guy and Crazy Food Dude)