REVIEW: Jamba Juice MediterraneYUM California Flatbread

Oooh, looks like someone in Jamba Juice’s marketing department is a wordsmith. Only a skilled user of words could come up with the name of Jamba Juice’s MediterraneYUM California Flatbread. I wonder if he or she is an admirer of alliteration, like I am, or gets sexually aroused when reading a Dr. Seuss [...]

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REVIEW: Jamba Juice Blackberry Bliss

If you’re a botanist, or studying to become one, I would like to ask a simple favor from you. How about some muthafuckin’ seedless blackberries so that I can actually enjoy the Jamba Juice Blackberry Bliss without having to endure the scratchy feel of blackberry seeds going down my throat? If farmers can breed [...]

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NEWS: Jamba Juice Looks to Spread Bliss With Their New Blackberry Smoothie But It Probably Won’t Help Jon and Kate Gosselin

Over the past few days, I’ve been complaining about the warm weather on TIB’s Twitter account. Some of you are probably saying, “You live in frickin’ Hawaii! Suck it up, you little bitch!” But I am a hairy mofo, so I don’t cool down as well as those who are less hairy than [...]

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Jamba Juice White Gummi

White or clear gummi bears are a rare species, despite being around as long as other species of gummi bears. It seems like every time I find myself among a sloth of gummi bears, there are hardly any white gummi bears around. Perhaps they are endangered or because of their semi-clear bodies they blend into [...]

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Mango Orange Peach Jamba Juicie

The Mango Orange Peach Jamba Juicie seems like it is supposed to give buyers the opportunity to experience Jamba Juice whenever they want, but I feel that fruity experience goes beyond what’s sucked through a straw. It’s not Jamba Juice without having people judge you for the free boost you choose. It’s not [...]

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Jamba Juice 3G Energizer

OMG! Like energy drinks are soooo like 2007. Now it’s like totally about energy-everything-else because energy drink are like so everywhere. They’re in like grocery stores, convenience stores, online stores, membership warehouse stores, restaurant stores, super stores, and like bar stores. Like I would not be caught dead drinking a canned energy [...]

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Jamba Juice Tahiti Green Tea

Just like closing your eyes to get beyond the extremely crooked teeth, unevenly drawn in eyebrows, and mysterious boils on the skin of the troll you’re getting it on with, closing your eyes while sucking on the new Jamba Juice Tahiti Green Tea smoothie will help you experience it beyond its color, which as you [...]

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Jamba Juice Orange Cherry Cheer

I hate to admit this, but I have a terrible fear of Starbucks. I don’t know if it’s because of my fear of standing in long lines of grouchy people who could explode at any moment unless they get their caffeine fix or because of the urban legend that says, “For every thirteen Starbucks [...]

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