Getting the daily recommended amount of vegetables in my diet is hard. I ask for extra lettuce and tomatoes with my Burger King Whopper, but apparently that’s not enough. Actually, to be honest, I don’t know how much vegetables I’m supposed to be eating each day. Well, thanks to Jamba Juice and their new Fruit & Veggie Smoothies, it’s going to be a lot easier for me to get my veggies and get them in a suckable form.

Each Fruit & Veggie Smoothie provides three full servings of fruits and vegetables in a sixteen size serving. They come in three flavors — Berry UpBEET, Apple ‘n Greens and Orange Carrot Karma. Berry UpBEET combines strawberries and blueberries with the juices from carrots, beets, broccoli and lettuce. Apple ‘n Green brings together apple-strawberry juice with the juice from dark leafy green vegetables, carrots and lettuce. It also includes spiraling, peaches, mangos and bananas. Finally, Orange Carrot Karma blends carrot juice, orange juice, mangos, bananas and ice.

The new smoothies are excellent sources of vitamin A and vitamin C, and they don’t contain HFCS, artificial flavors, and artificial preservatives. Complete nutrition facts below:

A sixteen size of Apple ‘n Greens has 220 calories, 1 gram of fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 40 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 240% vitamin A, 15% calcium, 90% vitamin C and 25% iron.

A Berry UpBEET has 230 calories, 1 gram of fat, 140 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 38 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 120 vitamin A, 10% calcium, 100% vitamin C, and 10% iron.

An Orange Carrot Karma has 180 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 38 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 430% vitamin A, 6% calcium, 90% vitamin C and 6% iron.

There currently isn’t any information about the Sweetheart Smoothie on the Jamba website, but since it’s a Valentine’s themed smoothie, I’m going to assume it’s made from hugs, kisses, overpriced rose petals, boxed chocolates, Hallmark cards, and the sweat from men frantically trying to make a reservation at a nice restaurant the day before Valentine’s Day.

Update: According to commenter JT below, it contains, “a blend of strawberries, peaches, nonfat frozen yogurt, yumberry juice, and pineapple juice”

The Jamba Juice Sweetheart Smoothie is available for a limited time and you can get 2 sixteen-sized smoothies for five dollars, at participating Jamba Juice locations, using the coupon link below.

Click here for coupon

Personally, buying one and getting two straws is more romantic. Although, buying one and letting your significant other have it all is even more romantic.

Thanks to Helen Tasker and Activia yogurt, a number of companies have been excreting products that brag about having probiotics, which claim to help maintain a healthy digestive system. One of the latest products comes from Jamba Juice who have discharged their new line of Probiotic Fruit & Yogurt Blends.

These new smoothies are made with nonfat yogurt, soymilk, whole fruit and Jamba’s special Probiotic Boost. They come in three flavors: Strawberry Alive, Vibrant Blueberry and Thrivin’ Mango.

An Original-size Strawberry Alive contains 330 calories 0 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 56 grams of sugar and 13 grams of protein. An Original-size Vibrant Blueberry has 310 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 51 grams of sugar and 13 grams of protein. An Original-size Thrivin’ Mango had 320 calories, 0 grams of fat, 135 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 59 grams of sugar and 9 grams of protein.

Oh, Jamba Juice. Is there anything you won’t stick in your loud, powerful blenders that force me to yell my order to your employees?

Last week, Jamba Juice started experimenting with selling froyo at a number of locations in northern California. The product, which is being called Whirl’ns Frozen Yogurt, includes eight frozen yogurt flavors that can be blended with fruit and topped with ingredients like sliced almonds, shredded coconut, brown sugar crumble, fresh bananas, granola or glazed pecans. The froyo flavors include plain tart, low-fat chocolate, low-fat vanilla, and fruit or non-fruit flavored yogurt.

Pricing for a six-ounce serving is about $3.50 with one topping, while a 10-ounce serving is $5.25 with one topping. They are currently only available at 22 locations in Northern California.

Berried ‘n’ Chocolate would’ve made a great name for a 1970′s television cop buddy show.

Chocolate would’ve been the smooth talking black police detective who doesn’t like to use violence and Berried would’ve been his clumsy (place ethnicity here) partner who used the catchphrase, “You just got Berried by the law,” every time they caught the criminal, although Chocolate did all the work.

Unfortunately, a Berried ‘n’ Chocolate television show was never made and allowed to run for two episodes before being cancelled, either because “You just got Berried by the law” got old really quick or the show ended up being a little racist. While there was never a Berried ‘n’ Chocolate television show, thanks to Jamba Juice, there’s a Berried ‘n Chocolate smoothie.

Jamba Juice’s Berried ‘n Chocolate is a new addition to their Creamy Treats line of smoothies, which also consists of the worst smoothies for you on the Jamba Juice menu. One such smoothie is the Original-size Peanut Butter Moo’d, which contains 770 calories and 108 grams of sugar.

Moo, indeed.

A Berried ‘n Chocolate is created by using strawberries, Jamba’s Chocolate Moo’d base, semisweet chocolate chips, non-fat frozen yogurt, mixed berry juice, blueberries and ice. The mixture ends up having a grayish purple color, which maybe fine for a goth makeup kit, but probably isn’t the most appetizing on a food color wheel. The Jamba Juice Berried ‘n Chocolate smoothie also has a weird texture. Not only does it have seeds, but it’s also slightly chalky, which might be caused by the semisweet chocolate chips.

The smoothie tastes like a berry Tootsie Pop, which I’m not sure is a good thing. I’ve sucked on several dozen Tootsie Pops in my lifetime and have always considered the Tootsie Roll center as the best part of the lollipop. The fruity candy coating is something that’s in the way, which I’m pretty sure is the same thing Mr. Owl believed when he tried to determine how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. Why else would he bite away the hard shell after only two licks and screw with the scientific method?

So, basically, the Berried ‘n Chocolate tastes like a Tootsie Pop that I’ll never reach the center of.

(Nutrition Facts – 24 ounces – 520 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 108 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 91 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein, 6% vitamin A, 35% calcium, 80% vitamin C and 6% iron.)

Item: Jamba Juice Berried ‘n Chocolate Smoothie
Price: $4.69
Size: 24 ounces
Purchased at: Jamba Juice
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like a berry Tootsie Pop. Awesome source of vitamin C and protein. Uses real strawberries and blueberries. Use non-fat frozen yogurt. Catchphrases.
Cons: Tastes like a berry Tootsie Pop that I’ll never reach the center of. Weird texture and grayish purple color. Same amount of calories as a Big Mac. Screwing with the scientific method. Awesome source of sugar. No cop buddy show called Berried ‘n’ Chocolate.

I believe I have some pretty good smoothie-making skills.

Give me a blender, some fruit, a cup of soy milk, a spoonful of yogurt, a few ice cubes and a dancehall reggae beat, and I’ll create a refreshing smoothie that will make lady bits tingle. Although, I like using strawberries in my smoothies, so the tingling could also be the result of an allergic reaction.

My smoothies are so delicioso that people who taste them don’t call it a smoothie, they call it a smmm…mmm…ooooh…ooooh….th…whee. Although, again, because I use strawberries often in my smoothie recipes, some people might be saying it that way because their tongues are swollen.

It’s taken me months to develop my kick ass smoothie-making skills, so I find it upsetting that the Jamba All Natural Smoothie Kits attempt to turn any Joe Schmoe into a smoothie maestro. While they are easy to make, can the flavor of these smoothie kits make my lady bits tingle?

The Jamba All Natural Smoothie Kits come in three varieties based on classic Jamba Juice flavors:

Strawberries Wild – Strawberry and Banana with Non-Fat Yogurt
Razzmatazz – Strawberry, Raspberry and Blueberry with Non-Fat Yogurt
Mango-a-go-go – Mango and Pineapple with Non-Fat Yogurt.

Unfortunately, the kits don’t come with all the ingredients found in the versions that are blended at Jamba Juice locations. For example, the Razzmatazz pouch doesn’t contain the orange sherbet that the store-blended version has and the Mango-a-go-go doesn’t come with the opportunity for me to use my porn name, Steele Rockrod, when the cashier asks for a name to go with the order.

To make a smoothie from this kit, I just blended the contents of the pouch with eight ounces of apple juice. When everything was blended, I ended up with a 16-ounce serving that provided two servings of fruit.

All three varieties had consistencies similar to real Jamba Juice smoothies, but none of them made my lady bits tingle. Strawberries Wild and Razzmatazz were decent, but with both varieties the apple juice was the dominate flavor, and having to pick out seeds between my teeth was a problem. However, neither was an issue with the Mango-a-go-go and its combination of mango and pineapple was delicioso, but, again, it too didn’t make my lady bits tingle like my own smoothies do.

If on sale, a Jamba All Natural Smoothie Kit is cheaper than a Jamba Juice smoothie made in one of their brightly colored shops. It’s also better for you because it has less sugar. However, you can probably make a cheaper, healthier and better tasting smoothie, if you have excellent smoothie making skills, like mine.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 pouch/8 ounces prepared – Strawberries Wild – 110 calories, 05 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C and 4% calcium. Razzmatazz – 110 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 4% calcium and 2% iron. Mango-a-go-go – 120 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 8% vitamin A, 100% vitamin C and 4% calcium.)

Item: Jamba All Natural Smoothies (Strawberries Wild, Razzmatazz & Mango-a-go-go)
Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 8 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Strawberries Wild)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Razzmatazz)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Mango-a-go-go)
Pros: Easy to make. Mango-a-go-go was delicioso. Strawberries Wild and Razzmatazz were decent. Provides 100% vitamin C per serving. Provides a serving a fruit per eight ounces. Less sugar than Jamba Juice shop smoothies. My smoothie making skills.
Cons: Didn’t make my lady bits tingle. Strawberry allergies. Apple juice overpowering other flavors. Getting seeds stuck between my teeth. Not having excellent smoothie making skills.