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NEWS: Latest Slurpee Flavor Tries To Cool Gamers But It’s Kind of A N00b

2 February 2010

6 Comments

The latest flavor of Slurpee, the God of War Kratos Fury Blackberry Lime, seems like it’s trying to give brain freeze to gamers. If you’re not familiar with the God of War video game franchise, you can learn about its background by watching the eventual shitty movie adaptation of it, which you could [...]

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REVIEW: Battleberry Yumberry Black Currant Slurpee

14 September 2009

15 Comments

If I repeat over and over again the name of the latest Slurpee flavor, Battleberry Yumberry Black Currant, it feels like I’ve transported myself to Strawberryland, where freckled Strawberry Shortcake and her pet cat, Custard, reside. Because everyone in Strawberryland, except for The Peculiar Purple Pie Man, replaces EVERY reference to the word “very” [...]

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NEWS: New Bumblebee Blast Slurpee Doesn’t Taste Like Metal, Oil and Energon

2 June 2009

6 Comments

I personally think Slurpee took the wrong approach with their Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen-promoting Bumblebee Blast Slurpee. I believe if they wanted to sell a Pacific Ocean’s worth of Slurpees, they should’ve come out with a flavor called Megan Fox Frost and have four collector’s cups featuring Megan Fox on the hood of [...]

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NEWS: Terminator Salvation Slurpee Flavor Has Slurpee Suckers Looking Forward To Possible Transformers Slurpee in June and Brüno Slurpee in July

5 May 2009

13 Comments

For the second straight month, Slurpee is promoting a movie with their frozen beverages. Last month, Mutant Berry was released to coincide with the opening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. This month, 7-Eleven is unleashing Apocalyptic Ice Slurpee, a blood orange flavored beverage, to promote the latest movie in the Terminator series. Since the 2009 [...]

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NEWS: Mutant Berry Slurpee Sounds Significantly Less Bad Ass Than The Wolverine Movie It’s Promoting

2 April 2009

10 Comments

Earlier this week, 7-Eleven introduced the Mutant Berry Slurpee to promote the release of the upcoming movie — X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Its flavor has been billed as Hawaiian Punch Berry Limeade Blast. Along with the special Slurpee flavor, you can get 3D cups featuring either Wolverine, Sabretooth or Gambit, if you’re willing [...]

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NEWS: Melon Berry Blast Slurpee Helps Keep The Art of Alliteration Alive

2 March 2009

9 Comments

This month’s limited-edition Slurpee — Melon Berry Blast — has nothing to do with Space Shuttles or money shots, so I’m wondering what’s the purpose of the “blast” in its name. The only reason I could think of was perhaps 7-Eleven is trying to ensure the literary device of alliteration never goes away. [...]

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Vanilla Cream Slurpee May Cause Me To Cream

6 November 2008

13 Comments

One of my all-time favorite Slurpee flavors is blue vanilla, but unfortunately I haven’t seen it at my neighborhood 7-Eleven for a very, very, WTF long time. I believe I haven’t seen because the Slurpee gods are punishing me for my regular routine of filling my Slurpee cup, then walking around the 7-Eleven, taking swings [...]

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Cafe Latte Slurpuccino

11 February 2008

23 Comments

Consider the Slurpuccino the closest thing Slurpologists at 7-Eleven could come up with that might be considered an adult Slurpee without adding alcohol. By its name you can figure out that this here Slurpee has a coffee flavor to it, much like the sweat that comes out of pores of Britney Spears’ cigarette and [...]

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Full Throttle Frozen Fury Slurpee

14 May 2007

15 Comments

Like all drugs, caffeine has side effects. For myself, the only side effects I get from caffeine are temporary high blood pressure, stomach aches, and the urge to run down the street yelling random things about indie bands like, “Listening to Belle & Sebastian does not make me a pussy!” Caffeine’s side effects are much less harsh [...]

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Melon Green Tea Slurpee

8 October 2006

19 Comments

We’ve all heard about the health benefits of green tea. It’s full of antioxidants that can help lower the risks of cancer and heart disease. Green tea advocates claim that it can help with many other things, like cognition, Alzheimers, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, weight loss, helping you look less fugly, and preventing you [...]

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