REVIEW: Vitaminwater Zero Drops Revive Fruit Punch

VitaminWater Zero Revive Drops

Finally, a drink that combines two of my favorite things: a Vitaminwater brand beverage and the toil and satisfaction of making something with my own two hands. Enter Vitaminwater Zero Drops. With only a few effortless squeezes, you can enjoy the familiar taste of Vitaminwater right out of any glass of water or water bottle you have lying around.

In what could only have been a response to the general public demanding an additional step in the Vitaminwater drinking process (which was just too goddamn simple before), you can now forgo the accuracy of a formula created by food scientists and received positively by millions in favor of what you think should be done. That’s right, you.

Remember when you forgot your keys yesterday, walked into your house to get them, blanked for a second, ate some pretzels you had lying around, and left your house without your keys? Yeah, well now the creation of your own Vitaminwater can be in those same hands.

VitaminWater Zero Revive Drops with regular Revive

With the pressure on, I decided to try the Revive Fruit Punch flavor. Being a longtime fan of the bottled version, I was wondering how close the two would be in taste. Unfortunately, my local Stop & Shop only had the full calorie version of Revive, apparently unconcerned with what Google tells me will take a 30 minute walk to burn off, so it will have to do.

Because Vitaminwater Zero Drops offer little detailed instruction on how much concentrated fluid to add, my strategy was to slowly keep adding it into a glass of water until it matched the color of bottled version. After a few tries, I matched the same reddish pink tone as closely as I think is possible.

VitaminWater Zero Revive Drops comparison

Had I any last minute doubts which was which, the taste comparison would have revealed which one was made by a Glacéau bottling plant and which one was made on my living room table. While the Vitaminwater Zero Drops were able to create that distinct and pleasing Vitaminwater taste that is much lighter and less sweet than its sports drink and soda competition, it is definitely apparent that something is…well, off.

But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s like eating cereal dry because you’ve already poured it into a bowl before realizing that you’re out of milk. Even without milk, cereal is still pretty good, but, just like any type of make-it-yourself beverage, it’s still gonna taste just a little bit different. Despite the clear presence of that original fruit punch tastiness, it’s still hard to shake the feeling that something is definitely missing, and not in the regular zero-calorie way.

But you know, maybe the problem is just me. Try as I might, I will never be as accurate as the industrial robots that pump this stuff out in gallons per minute. Not really helping this issue however, is the fact that Vitaminwater Zero Drops use the word “drops” pretty lightly. Instead, its a laser beam of concentrated flavor firing at an incalculable rate into your water. (Be thankful Glacéau doesn’t make eye drops). So, until you are a veteran at administering Vitaminwater drops (which I have set as my next life-goal) you are going to have to get pretty familiar with administering intermittent taste tests after each squirt. But don’t worry, this isn’t really a problem unless you purchased Vitaminwater Zero Drops because you were hoping for a fast, convenient way to effortlessly enjoy Vitaminwater on the go.

But all in all, at least the “do it yourself” aspect of this product allows you the opportunity to finally connect with your grandfather the next time he reminds you he built his own damn house using only his “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” mentality, and his subtle yet still uncomfortably palpable racism. Vitaminwater Zero Drops may require some elbow grease, but if for some reason you plan on being away from actual Vitaminwater for a while, it’s certainly the next best thing.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 fl oz prepared – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70mg potassium 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of
protein.)

Item: Vitaminwater Zero Drops Revive Fruit Punch
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 3 fl oz.
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: 18 servings of vitamin water for only four bucks. Stays mostly true to fruit punch flavor. Zero calories is not a lot of calories.
Cons: Not as effortless as it may appear. Forgetting your keys. Tastes mildly off from the original flavor.

QUICK REVIEW: Aquafina Flavorsplash Sparkling (Berry Loco, Peelin’ Good, and Color Me Kiwi)

Aquafina Flavorsplash Sparkling (Berry Loco, Peelin' Good, and Color Me Kiwi)

Purchased Price: $1.00 each
Size: 16.9 fl oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Berry Loco)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Peelin’ Good)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Color Me Kiwi)
Pros: I don’t love them, but I don’t completely hate them. No calories or sugar. 20 percent of your daily niacin, vitamin B6, and pantothenic acid. Peelin’ Good is the most tolerable of the three, even though it has a generic orange drink flavor. Color Me Kiwi smells like strawberry candy with a light artificial strawberry flavor. Berry Loco smells like strawberry Jello and has a slightly pleasing berry flavor that leans towards raspberry.
Cons: Slight mineral water flavor or that could be the artificial sweeteners. I can’t say they’re refreshing. The warmer they get, the worse they taste. Why don’t they make my mouth happy? I’d rather drink VitaminWater Zero. Actually, I think I’d rather drink plain water than these.

Nutrition Facts: Berry Loco – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 95 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 20% niacin, 20% vitamin B6, and 20% pantothenic acid. Color Me Kiwi – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 95 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 20% niacin, 20% vitamin B6, and 20% pantothenic acid. Peelin’ Good – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 95 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 20% niacin, 20% vitamin B6, and 20% pantothenic acid.

QUICK REVIEW: Tropical Citrus Rockstar Energy Water

Tropical Citrus Rockstar Energy Water

Purchased Price: $1.59
Size: 20 oz. bottle
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Hydrating. If you enjoy kicking your heart with 200 milligrams of caffeine, you will like this. Contains typical Rockstar Energy Drink ingredients. Sugar free. Zero calories. Provides 100 percent of your daily vitamin C.
Cons: If you hate the amount of flavor VitaminWaters have, you’ll hate this. Tropical citrus flavor was a bit odd and it almost doesn’t do a good job of masking the bitterness of the caffeine. Way too easy to drink. Artificial sweeteners more noticeable as it gets warmer.

Nutrition Facts: 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 100% vitamin C.
Other reviews: Caffeine King, Caffeine! The Energy Blog

REVIEW: Glacéau Fruitwater Orange Mango

Glaceau Fruitwater Orange Mango

Like a spontaneously occurring geyser in the middle of Yellowstone Park, sparkling water is bursting forth from the underground and having a Renaissance upon the aisles of the grocery store.

“Sparkling water. What’s the big deal?” you may say to yourself, and, indeed, you are justified in your asking.

Sure, sparkling water had its heyday in the Depression-Era soda shops, but, ever since falling into the hands of nefarious clowns bent on squirting it in the faces of unsuspecting patrons, its sparkly potential has been pushed out of the limelight.

Yet, like the resurrection of Star Trek on the big screen, this carbonated beverage has returned to claim its rightful place in the public eye, and Coca-Cola’s Glacéau is giving flavored sparkling water a shot with this new “Fruitwater.”

Glaceau Fruitwater Orange Mango Name

Is it soda? Is it water? Or something altogether different? The questions linger…

One of the key marks of a good soda/sparkling water is the balance of fizz. Too little and it tastes like a flavored mistake. Too much and it feels like microscopic bees are stinging down your esophagus lining. This particular iteration is definitely on the stronger side of fizziness, but it’s not so harsh that it feels like you swallowed the Drano form of carbon dioxide. It’s smooth and easily drinkable, yet those carbonated bubbles bubble up around the top to remind you, “Hey! Look at me! I’m releasing carbon dioxide into the air with all my effervescence!”

Glaceau Fruitwater Orange Mango Bubbles

I’m sure the wilting dogwood tree outside my window will be very happy for all that carbon dioxide it can now use for photosynthesis.

But I don’t drink bubbly drinks for their fizz. I drink them because I hope they taste good, and flavored sparkling water can taste of anything from aspartame to bubbly diesel fuel.

Luckily, this drink is not of the latter. Actually, it has a pretty good, non-fancy citrus flavor going on. It’s a simple mix of sweet and tangy with a citrus pop. Orange comes at the forefront of flavors here, although I might specify it more as a tangerine than an orange. I can’t really detect too many mango nuances. In fact, I might more classify it more as a peach aftertaste with hints of…Tang? Yes, Tang if you bottled it and poofed in some carbonation.

Maybe I’m dehydrated or just being a goon-head, but I think there’s a cooling effect in the artificial sweeteners and it seems to be making the whole drink taste sweeter. Not so much so that it overpowers or embitters the beverage, but it’s noticeable. I enjoy it, but I have 32 sweet teeth. If you find yourself with a lower sweet tooth count and/or are sensitive to artificial sweeteners, be wary.

The world is filled with dangerous things like E. coli, mountain lions, and large, pink umbrellas that knock you in the head while you’re walking down the sidewalk. It’s in a dangerous world like ours that you need the immune system of an alligator and, thus, it was with a sigh of relief that I found this new fizzy Fruitwater enhanced with lots of B-vitamins sure to enhance your immune system.

There aren’t even any calories in here, but that also means there’s no fruit involved, making the whole “Fruitwater” moniker a bit of misnomer, but hey, taste trumps accuracy for me on this one. If I want fruit, I’ll go with juice.

I was a bit Sherlock-Holmesian in my high degree of skepticism for this new Glacéau traveler, but was happy to find myself proved wrong. While not exactly “fruit” or “water,” this is a pretty good soda-like beverage with a simple orange/tangerine taste. Yes, something about artificially flavored carbonation satisfies, and it’s nice to find a new option that doesn’t taste like someone bottled up an Alka-Seltzer.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 0 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, Less than 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, and 0 grams of protein, 20% Vitamin B6, 20% Magnesium, 20% Pantothenic acid, 20% Zinc.)

Item: Glacéau Fruitwater Orange Mango
Purchased Price: $1.15
Size: 16.9 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Simple orange flavor. Carbonated Tang. Lots of B-vitamins. Balanced fizz. Calorie-free. Talking carbon dioxide bubbles. Photosynthesis. May make you immune to attacks by mountain lions.
Cons: Questionable mango presence. May be too sweet for some. Makes me remember all the bad sparkling water I’ve had. No actual fruit. Nefarious clowns. Pink umbrellas that knock you in the head. May not make you immune to attacks by mountain lions.

NEWS: MiO Fit Liquid Water Enhancer, It’s Got Electrolytes

When I think of sports drinks, Gatorade is the first one that pops in my head. Although, when I’m super dehydrated after an eight-mile run, I think of any liquid I can get my hands on, but most of the time it’s Gatorade.

Besides Gatorade, there’s Powerade and…I can’t come up with names of any others. But now I can add Kraft’s MiO Fit Liquid Water Enhancer to the short list of sports drinks in my head. MiO Fit’s got what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes. It also has B vitamins.

MiO Fit will be available in 1.08-ounce bottles in two flavors: Berry Blast and Arctic Grape. Each bottle will make 18 eight-ounce servings. MiO announced the new flavors on their Facebook and Twitter pages.