NOTE: Click here for our regular MiO Liquid Water Enhancer review

The new Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancers are kind of like NyQuil. They both have camel case names, both come in a cherry flavor and some weird green flavor, and they both make me grimace when I consume them straight out of their containers.

However, while NyQuil contains antihistamines and alcohol to make one sleepy, MiO Energy contains caffeine and B vitamins to make me hold back Mr. Sandman for a while.

Because of the caffeine they contain, the MiO Energy bottles have a warning that states they’re not for children and should not be added to alcoholic drinks. I also thought they didn’t have any warnings about squirting it straight into your mouth instead of a glass of water, but on the opposite side of the children and alcoholic beverages warning, the bottle says, “Always dilute concentrate.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t read that until after I squirted some Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Liquid Water Enhancer down my gullet, so my heart could’ve exploded. Thankfully, it didn’t.

When a 1/2 teaspoon of MiO Energy is squirted into eight ounces of water, the mixture provides 60 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine, which is 20 less milligrams than a Red Bull. MiO Energy is also cheaper than a Red Bull. For the price of one bottle of MiO ($4.99 regular price), which can make 18 servings, you can only buy two 10-ounce cans of Red Bull, or if you’re at a bar, half a can of Red Bull.

When mixed with water, both MiO Energy flavors have a slight medicinal flavor, which will probably be off-putting to many drinkers. At first, I didn’t care for the Black Cherry flavor because it kind of reminded me of watered down cough syrup. But it’s grown on me and now I think it tastes more like a cherry Tootsie Pop.

Green Thunder tastes like an energy drink. If you’re someone who likes to try all kinds of energy drinks, it tastes like one of those cheap energy drinks that tries to copy the flavor of Red Bull, except without any carbonation. For those of you who don’t like to try all kinds of energy drinks, it has a pleasant sweet and tart flavor. Although, as I mentioned earlier, it’s also slightly medicinal. I like both flavors, but if I had to pick a favorite, I’d choose Green Thunder, but not by much.

As for its ability as an energy booster, I think it did a pretty good job, providing me with a jolt of energy that lasted a few hours. To be honest, I was surprised by how well it worked since it has less caffeine than I’m used to consuming.

MiO Energy costs the same and comes in the same 1.62-ounce size as regular MiO. However, a bottle of MiO Energy makes only 18 servings, which is 25 percent fewer servings than a bottle of regular MiO.

But who cares about that, besides cost-conscious people? I certainly don’t because MiO Energy has sweet, sweet caffeine, and that’s all that matters to me and my tired ass.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% niacin, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Other MiO Energy reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Drinkable Review
Drink What
Caffeine King

Item: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Green Thunder)
Pros: Contains sweet, sweet caffeine. Black Cherry tastes like a cherry Tootsie Pop. Green Thunder taste like an non-carbonated energy drink. Good energy booster. Easy to make.
Cons: Makes less serving than regular MiO. Slightly medicinal flavor might be off-putting. Contains a pitiful amount of B vitamins. Squirting MiO straight into my mouth.

With it being orange-tangerine flavored, I expected the MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins to have some vitamin C. But the nutrition facts clearly state, “Not a significant source of Fat Cal, Sat Fat, Trans Fat, Cholest, Fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, and Iron.”

So what is it a significant source of?

Well, after scanning the words and numbers on the bottle and trying this new MiO flavor, I have to say it’s only a significant source of sucralose and the color orange. While it does have B vitamins, an 8-ounce serving of this MiO provides only 10 percent of your daily value of vitamins B3, B6, and B12. Pfff…Me and my gummy multivitamin laugh at that 10 percent.

Having 10 percent of anything makes me wonder, why bother? A bowl of Cocoa Puffs and most other kids cereals provide 25 percent of your daily value of B vitamins. Or if you want to drown yourself in B vitamins, half a bottle of 5-Hour Energy has 75 percent of your daily value of vitamin B3, 1,000 percent of your daily value of vitamin B6, and over 4,000 percent of your daily value of vitamin B12.

Even if you consumed all 24 servings a bottle of this MiO provides, you still wouldn’t get as much vitamins B6 and B12 as a 5-Hour Energy, but at least your pee might turn orange, allowing you to write your name in the snow using a color other than yellow.

If you’ve never made a beverage using MiO, the instructions read as if you’re playing with a Bop-It. First, you flip it, then tip it, then sip it, and then click it.

The Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer smells as if I walked into an orange Tang dust cloud. It also tastes like the stuff that was once consumed by NASA astronauts on some Gemini space missions, except less tangy. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of drinking Tang and want a reference that your grandparents won’t get, it tastes like a much sweeter VitaminWater Essential. And for those of you who have never downed a Tang or VitaminWater, what are you doing reading a blog filled with junk and processed food reviews?

The bottle says it contains “Natural Flavors with Other Natural Flavors,” but it’s artificially sweetastic thanks to it being a significant source of sucralose. Even though it’s artificially sweetastic, I like the orange-tangerine flavored MiO as much as I like the fruit punch version. Although, it almost became undrinkable when I got a little overzealous with the squeezing.

The point of MiO is to encourage us to drink the recommended amount of water and I think the Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins can motivate me to do so. It’s a fine addition to the MiO line, even though the pitiful amounts of B vitamins are completely bogus additions.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin B3, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Other Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins reviews:
Drink What

Item: Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 fluid ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Tang, but not as tangy. The pleasure derived from destroying a Bop-It because it’s so frustrating to beat. Astronauts. A significant source of the color orange. Gummy multivitamins. Makes 24 8-ounce servings, if you’re not overzealous with the squeezing.
Cons: Amounts of B vitamins are a joke. Artificially sweetastic. It’s orange flavored but contains no vitamin C. Get cloyingly sweet when one gets overzealous with the squeezing.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Bottled water with caffeine isn’t very impressive. Bottled water with radioactive materials that could mess with my DNA and give me super powers would be impressive. (via Food Junk)

Worx may work, but there is something Worx needs to work on — spelling. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

What would I do for this Klondike bar? Probably nothing and just let it melt away. Unless I was starving to death, then I’d kill someone for it. (via Crazy Food Dude)

Jamie Oliver makes junk food? Am I in an alternate universe where the Top Gear guys mostly review reasonably priced cars and put stars in an expensive supercar? (via Gobble Monkey)

Arby’s Super Reuben does look super, and when I say “looks super” I mean it looks like it was killed with kryptonite. (via Would I Buy It Again)

According to my computer’s built-in dictionary, the word “pure” is defined as:

1. Not mixed or adulterated with any other substance or material.
2. Without any extraneous and unnecessary elements.

If we were to go by those definitions, SoBe Pure Water isn’t at all pure, since it’s not only made with water, but also erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid. With that many ingredients, it’s as if SoBe’s benchmark for pure was a rock band groupie.

Perhaps there’s a third definition in the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary that goes something like this:

3. A BS term marketing folks use for products that have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners.

SoBe Pure comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. And they’re available exclusively at Target. If you don’t have a Target nearby, you’re S.O.L., which I believe the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary defines as: Settling for Other Liquids.

Each SoBe Pure is enhanced with “a drop of flavor.” But if my math is correct, which it always isn’t because I’m not a stereotypical Asian, a drop shouldn’t be able to create a level of flavor that these SoBe Pure waters have. Their flavors aren’t as strong as SoBe Lifewater, but the difference between the two varieties of flavored SoBe water isn’t much.

SoBe Pure Watermelon is one of those flavors I’m not sure if I truly enjoy. It doesn’t taste like watermelon, but then again, everything “watermelon-flavored” doesn’t taste like watermelon. However, it tastes as if I was making out with a girl who just finished sucking on a Watermelon Jolly Rancher.

SoBe Pure Golden Pineapple is my favorite of the three flavors. Although its aroma is a bit flowery and artificial, it really tastes like someone grabbed a chunk of fresh pineapple, squeezed it over a 20-ounce bottle of water to extract a couple of drops of pineapple juice, recapped the water bottle, and then shook it to mix.

SoBe Pure Black Cherry smells decent, but it tastes vile. Imagine trying to get mo’ ‘tussin by putting some water in a bottle of cough syrup, shaking it, and then drinking it. That’s what SoBe Pure Black Cherry tastes like. I’ve gone through a fourth of the bottle and I won’t finish the rest because it’s quite disgusting.

Overall, SoBe Pure may be “natural with zero calories” and it may have electrolytes, but it doesn’t electrify me. If you’re looking for a lightly flavored water with no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners that isn’t available everywhere, might I recommend Hint Water. They’re definitely a lot more natural tasting than SoBe Pure.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Other SoBe Pure reviews:
Thirsty Dudes: Watermelon & Black Cherry
Drink What

Item: SoBe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden PIneapple)
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Watermelon)
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Golden Pineapple)
Pros: No calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. Has electrolytes. Golden Pineapple was good. Watermelon was decent.
Cons: Black Cherry was vile. Target exclusive. Watermelon doesn’t taste like real watermelons. Scent of Golden Pineapple was flowery and artificial. Not really pure. Carrying an unabridged Oxford English Dictionary.

Update: Click here to read our SoBe Pure review

I didn’t know electrolytes could have flavor. I thought it just helped rehydrate thirsty people and sell an ocean’s worth of Gatorade. But it appears it does because the label on the new SoBe Pure water says so: “Water + A drop of flavor + Electrolytes for taste.”

SoBe Pure water comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. All three flavors have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. With those statements, you’d think SoBe Pure’s ingredients list would be simple, or pure, if you will.

And it is simple, if you have a chemistry degree. All three flavors contain: water, erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid.

An 8-ounce serving of SoBe Pure has 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. They’re available in 20-ounce bottles for a limited time only at Target.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Looks like someone might get sued. I have no problem with it, unless drinking it increases Facebook friend requests from those people who were dicks or never talked to me in high school. (via ED Junkie)

Caffeinated ice cream? This is where caffeinated product technology has taken us? Boring. How about caffeinated laundry detergent so I can get a boost of energy every time I wear one of my thongs. (via Caffeine-A-Holic)

I think I’ve watched too many X-Files episodes to drink something called blk. water. (via Thirsty Dudes)

A Lay’s potato chip from Poland that tastes like chicken and spices excites me. I wonder if a Lay’s potato chip from the United States that tastes like barbeque sauce would excite snackers in Poland. (via Food Junk)

If I want to feel pleasure and pain from chocolate, I prefer having hot melted chocolate poured slowly on my chest and not chocolate made with the world’s hottest pepper melting on my tongue. (via Chocolate Reviews)