The Impulsive Buy » Water

REVIEW: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)

Marvo — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:21:13 +0000

NOTE: Click here for our regular MiO Liquid Water Enhancer review

The new Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancers are kind of like NyQuil. They both have camel case names, both come in a cherry flavor and some weird green flavor, and they both make me grimace when I consume them straight out of their containers.

However, while NyQuil contains antihistamines and alcohol to make one sleepy, MiO Energy contains caffeine and B vitamins to make me hold back Mr. Sandman for a while.

Because of the caffeine they contain, the MiO Energy bottles have a warning that states they’re not for children and should not be added to alcoholic drinks. I also thought they didn’t have any warnings about squirting it straight into your mouth instead of a glass of water, but on the opposite side of the children and alcoholic beverages warning, the bottle says, “Always dilute concentrate.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t read that until after I squirted some Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Liquid Water Enhancer down my gullet, so my heart could’ve exploded. Thankfully, it didn’t.

When a 1/2 teaspoon of MiO Energy is squirted into eight ounces of water, the mixture provides 60 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine, which is 20 less milligrams than a Red Bull. MiO Energy is also cheaper than a Red Bull. For the price of one bottle of MiO ($4.99 regular price), which can make 18 servings, you can only buy two 10-ounce cans of Red Bull, or if you’re at a bar, half a can of Red Bull.

When mixed with water, both MiO Energy flavors have a slight medicinal flavor, which will probably be off-putting to many drinkers. At first, I didn’t care for the Black Cherry flavor because it kind of reminded me of watered down cough syrup. But it’s grown on me and now I think it tastes more like a cherry Tootsie Pop.

Green Thunder tastes like an energy drink. If you’re someone who likes to try all kinds of energy drinks, it tastes like one of those cheap energy drinks that tries to copy the flavor of Red Bull, except without any carbonation. For those of you who don’t like to try all kinds of energy drinks, it has a pleasant sweet and tart flavor. Although, as I mentioned earlier, it’s also slightly medicinal. I like both flavors, but if I had to pick a favorite, I’d choose Green Thunder, but not by much.

As for its ability as an energy booster, I think it did a pretty good job, providing me with a jolt of energy that lasted a few hours. To be honest, I was surprised by how well it worked since it has less caffeine than I’m used to consuming.

MiO Energy costs the same and comes in the same 1.62-ounce size as regular MiO. However, a bottle of MiO Energy makes only 18 servings, which is 25 percent fewer servings than a bottle of regular MiO.

But who cares about that, besides cost-conscious people? I certainly don’t because MiO Energy has sweet, sweet caffeine, and that’s all that matters to me and my tired ass.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% niacin, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Other MiO Energy reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Drinkable Review
Drink What
Caffeine King

Item: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Green Thunder)
Pros: Contains sweet, sweet caffeine. Black Cherry tastes like a cherry Tootsie Pop. Green Thunder taste like an non-carbonated energy drink. Good energy booster. Easy to make.
Cons: Makes less serving than regular MiO. Slightly medicinal flavor might be off-putting. Contains a pitiful amount of B vitamins. Squirting MiO straight into my mouth.

REVIEW: Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins

Marvo — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 10:40:40 +0000

With it being orange-tangerine flavored, I expected the MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins to have some vitamin C. But the nutrition facts clearly state, “Not a significant source of Fat Cal, Sat Fat, Trans Fat, Cholest, Fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, and Iron.”

So what is it a significant source of?

Well, after scanning the words and numbers on the bottle and trying this new MiO flavor, I have to say it’s only a significant source of sucralose and the color orange. While it does have B vitamins, an 8-ounce serving of this MiO provides only 10 percent of your daily value of vitamins B3, B6, and B12. Pfff…Me and my gummy multivitamin laugh at that 10 percent.

Having 10 percent of anything makes me wonder, why bother? A bowl of Cocoa Puffs and most other kids cereals provide 25 percent of your daily value of B vitamins. Or if you want to drown yourself in B vitamins, half a bottle of 5-Hour Energy has 75 percent of your daily value of vitamin B3, 1,000 percent of your daily value of vitamin B6, and over 4,000 percent of your daily value of vitamin B12.

Even if you consumed all 24 servings a bottle of this MiO provides, you still wouldn’t get as much vitamins B6 and B12 as a 5-Hour Energy, but at least your pee might turn orange, allowing you to write your name in the snow using a color other than yellow.

If you’ve never made a beverage using MiO, the instructions read as if you’re playing with a Bop-It. First, you flip it, then tip it, then sip it, and then click it.

The Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer smells as if I walked into an orange Tang dust cloud. It also tastes like the stuff that was once consumed by NASA astronauts on some Gemini space missions, except less tangy. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of drinking Tang and want a reference that your grandparents won’t get, it tastes like a much sweeter VitaminWater Essential. And for those of you who have never downed a Tang or VitaminWater, what are you doing reading a blog filled with junk and processed food reviews?

The bottle says it contains “Natural Flavors with Other Natural Flavors,” but it’s artificially sweetastic thanks to it being a significant source of sucralose. Even though it’s artificially sweetastic, I like the orange-tangerine flavored MiO as much as I like the fruit punch version. Although, it almost became undrinkable when I got a little overzealous with the squeezing.

The point of MiO is to encourage us to drink the recommended amount of water and I think the Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins can motivate me to do so. It’s a fine addition to the MiO line, even though the pitiful amounts of B vitamins are completely bogus additions.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin B3, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Other Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins reviews:
Drink What

Item: Orange Tangerine MiO Liquid Water Enhancer with Vitamins
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 fluid ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Tang, but not as tangy. The pleasure derived from destroying a Bop-It because it’s so frustrating to beat. Astronauts. A significant source of the color orange. Gummy multivitamins. Makes 24 8-ounce servings, if you’re not overzealous with the squeezing.
Cons: Amounts of B vitamins are a joke. Artificially sweetastic. It’s orange flavored but contains no vitamin C. Get cloyingly sweet when one gets overzealous with the squeezing.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 11/12/2011

Marvo — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 11:09:28 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Bottled water with caffeine isn’t very impressive. Bottled water with radioactive materials that could mess with my DNA and give me super powers would be impressive. (via Food Junk)

Worx may work, but there is something Worx needs to work on — spelling. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

What would I do for this Klondike bar? Probably nothing and just let it melt away. Unless I was starving to death, then I’d kill someone for it. (via Crazy Food Dude)

Jamie Oliver makes junk food? Am I in an alternate universe where the Top Gear guys mostly review reasonably priced cars and put stars in an expensive supercar? (via Gobble Monkey)

Arby’s Super Reuben does look super, and when I say “looks super” I mean it looks like it was killed with kryptonite. (via Would I Buy It Again)

Image via flickr user quinn.anya / CC BY SA 2.0

REVIEW: SoBe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden Pineapple)

Marvo — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:50:47 +0000

According to my computer’s built-in dictionary, the word “pure” is defined as:

1. Not mixed or adulterated with any other substance or material.
2. Without any extraneous and unnecessary elements.

If we were to go by those definitions, SoBe Pure Water isn’t at all pure, since it’s not only made with water, but also erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid. With that many ingredients, it’s as if SoBe’s benchmark for pure was a rock band groupie.

Perhaps there’s a third definition in the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary that goes something like this:

3. A BS term marketing folks use for products that have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners.

SoBe Pure comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. And they’re available exclusively at Target. If you don’t have a Target nearby, you’re S.O.L., which I believe the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary defines as: Settling for Other Liquids.

Each SoBe Pure is enhanced with “a drop of flavor.” But if my math is correct, which it always isn’t because I’m not a stereotypical Asian, a drop shouldn’t be able to create a level of flavor that these SoBe Pure waters have. Their flavors aren’t as strong as SoBe Lifewater, but the difference between the two varieties of flavored SoBe water isn’t much.

SoBe Pure Watermelon is one of those flavors I’m not sure if I truly enjoy. It doesn’t taste like watermelon, but then again, everything “watermelon-flavored” doesn’t taste like watermelon. However, it tastes as if I was making out with a girl who just finished sucking on a Watermelon Jolly Rancher.

SoBe Pure Golden Pineapple is my favorite of the three flavors. Although its aroma is a bit flowery and artificial, it really tastes like someone grabbed a chunk of fresh pineapple, squeezed it over a 20-ounce bottle of water to extract a couple of drops of pineapple juice, recapped the water bottle, and then shook it to mix.

SoBe Pure Black Cherry smells decent, but it tastes vile. Imagine trying to get mo’ ‘tussin by putting some water in a bottle of cough syrup, shaking it, and then drinking it. That’s what SoBe Pure Black Cherry tastes like. I’ve gone through a fourth of the bottle and I won’t finish the rest because it’s quite disgusting.

Overall, SoBe Pure may be “natural with zero calories” and it may have electrolytes, but it doesn’t electrify me. If you’re looking for a lightly flavored water with no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners that isn’t available everywhere, might I recommend Hint Water. They’re definitely a lot more natural tasting than SoBe Pure.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Other SoBe Pure reviews:
Thirsty Dudes: Watermelon & Black Cherry
Drink What

Item: SoBe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden PIneapple)
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Watermelon)
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Golden Pineapple)
Pros: No calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. Has electrolytes. Golden Pineapple was good. Watermelon was decent.
Cons: Black Cherry was vile. Target exclusive. Watermelon doesn’t taste like real watermelons. Scent of Golden Pineapple was flowery and artificial. Not really pure. Carrying an unabridged Oxford English Dictionary.

NEWS: New SoBe Pure Water Is As Pure As Teenage Disney Actors Before They Turn Eighteen

Marvo — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 10:01:25 +0000

Update: Click here to read our SoBe Pure review

I didn’t know electrolytes could have flavor. I thought it just helped rehydrate thirsty people and sell an ocean’s worth of Gatorade. But it appears it does because the label on the new SoBe Pure water says so: “Water + A drop of flavor + Electrolytes for taste.”

SoBe Pure water comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. All three flavors have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. With those statements, you’d think SoBe Pure’s ingredients list would be simple, or pure, if you will.

And it is simple, if you have a chemistry degree. All three flavors contain: water, erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid.

An 8-ounce serving of SoBe Pure has 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. They’re available in 20-ounce bottles for a limited time only at Target.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 6/18/2011

Marvo — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Looks like someone might get sued. I have no problem with it, unless drinking it increases Facebook friend requests from those people who were dicks or never talked to me in high school. (via ED Junkie)

Caffeinated ice cream? This is where caffeinated product technology has taken us? Boring. How about caffeinated laundry detergent so I can get a boost of energy every time I wear one of my thongs. (via Caffeine-A-Holic)

I think I’ve watched too many X-Files episodes to drink something called blk. water. (via Thirsty Dudes)

A Lay’s potato chip from Poland that tastes like chicken and spices excites me. I wonder if a Lay’s potato chip from the United States that tastes like barbeque sauce would excite snackers in Poland. (via Food Junk)

If I want to feel pleasure and pain from chocolate, I prefer having hot melted chocolate poured slowly on my chest and not chocolate made with the world’s hottest pepper melting on my tongue. (via Chocolate Reviews)

Image via flickr user Jakob Steinschaden / CC BY ND 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 4/23/2011

Marvo — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Do birds have penises? I’m no birdologist, but if they do, I think this sesame seed bar would give them a hard-on. (via Sugar Pressure)

Peanut brittle, chocolate, AND bacon. I don’t think there’s a word that can describe that trifecta, not even sybaritic. (via BevNerd)

Metroelectro Micronutrient Water contains zinc, antioxidants, and electrolytes. Oh, yeah? My tap water contains small amounts of chlorine, safe amounts of chromium VI, and is naturally filtered through volcanic rock. How you like dat? (via I Ate A Pie)

Hmm. What’s more disgusting? Tobacco dip or tobacco-less energy dip made from sea sponges. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

Anytime Mini Cheeseburgers, Smart Ones? I doubt I could eat them at anytime. How about those times when I’m no where near a microwave? (via Foodette Reviews)

Image via flickr user edu_fon / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: MiO Liquid Water Enhancer (Berry Pomegranate, Fruit Punch, Mango Peach, Peach Tea, Strawberry Watermelon & Sweet Tea)

Marvo — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 12:33:01 +0000

MiO Liquid Water Enhancer enhances water in two ways. It turns it into a festive color, and it makes water taste less like water. Sure, there are lots of water enhancers on the market, like Tang, Kool-Aid, Metamucil, and Crystal Light, but all of them come as powder.

Ugh, if you’re lazy like me, you probably hate powder, because we don’t have time to stir and dissolve crystals. We’re parched and our thirsts needs quenching right now.

MiO come in an orchard of flavors: Berry Pomegranate, Fruit Punch, Mango Peach, Peach Tea, Strawberry Watermelon, and Sweet Tea. Like plain ol’ water, MiO flavored waters have no calories and no sugar. But unlike water, MiOed water looks FABULOUS, thanks to the following food colorings: Blue 1, Red 40, Yellow 5, and Yellow 6.

Each bottle makes 24 eight-ounce servings, but how much MiO does it take to turn eight-ounces of regular water into MiOed water? Half a teaspoon. But there lies the conundrum. The mechanism that dispenses the MiO from the bottle is activated when the bottle is squeezed. Yes, I just used 16 words to tell you that the MiO comes in a squeeze bottle.

Because the fruity moneyshot is quite violent, it’s hard to determine how much of it is coming out per squeeze. Also, “a squeeze” is subjective. An aunt of mine thinks a 15 second bear hug is just a squeeze, while another aunt thinks a hug beyond three seconds pushes up against her tolerance to how long someone can invade her personal space.

Sure, we could grab a spoon and squeeze half a teaspoon into it, but only squares who also use a Pyrex measuring cup to measure the eight ounces of water needed to make a serving of MiO flavored water would do that.

As I mentioned earlier, when MiO is squeezed out of the bottle, it’s powerful. So much so that it disperses itself in the water, making it unnecessary to stir. This is possible because of physics and fluid dynamics, but let’s just say it’s because of magic. After the magic happens, you’re left with something better tasting than what you began with, and again, it looks FABULOUS.

Strawberry Watermelon was the worst tasting of the six. I could taste both fruits, along with a slight floral flavor, but it all was extremely artificial tasting and, at times, hard to drink. It’s a flavor that I think would be more suitable for a kid’s toothpaste or mouthwash, and it makes me want to settle for plain water.

Mango Peach has a strong artificial peach scent. I tasted peach at the front and a little bit of mango at the back. At first, I thought it was as bad as the Strawberry Watermelon, but it grew on me a little bit. Peach Tea has a much weaker artificial peach scent and noticeably lighter peach flavor than the Mango Peach. The tea flavor lingers in the background. It’s not bad, and I like it as much as the Mango Peach. Both have a peach flavor that’s might be too fake for some.

Berry Pomegranate smells nice, but then again, so do midday strippers. It has a pleasant flavor that almost tastes like grape, and it’s not as artificial tasting as the peach flavors. It’s definitely a step better than the previous three. Sweet Tea is the weird one of the group because it’s the only one that’s not fruity. It tastes like sweetened Lipton iced tea, but not as strong. It also doesn’t taste as artificial as some of the others. I like it as much as Berry Pomegranate.

Fruit Punch was the least offensive smelling of the bunch, and it tastes similar to other fruit punch beverage I’ve had. I thought it had a nice fruity flavor, and the least artificial tasting of the six flavors. It’s definitely my favorite of the six.

Unfortunately, not even the Fruit Punch flavor can escape from what’s common found with drinks that contain artificial sweeteners. The sucralose and acesulfame potassium sweeteners leave behind a temporary coating in your mouth for you to enjoy.

According to the bottle and the MiO commercial, you can add more flavor by squeezing a little more of it into the water. But, I found with the ones that already have a strong artificial flavor, it makes them taste even more so, which in turn makes them less palatable.

Overall, I do think the MiO flavors that I enjoy could encourage me to drink more water, which is a good thing since I probably get half of what I’m supposed to drink each day. Although, I squeezed some MiO Fruit Punch into my Pepsi Max and turned it into a tasty fruity cola, so instead of water, I might just be drinking more Pepsi Max.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp. – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Other MiO reviews:
Foodette Review
BevReview
Drink What
Drinkable Review
Thirsty Dudes

Item: MiO Liquid Water Enhancer
Price: $4.29
Size: 1.62 fluid ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Berry Pomegranate)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Fruit Punch)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Mango Peach)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Peach Tea)
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Strawberry Watermelon)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Sweet Tea)
Pros: Portable. No calories or sugar. Fruit punch is tasty. Sweet Tea and Berry Pomegranate are good. Can add it to other beverages. No need to stir. Colors are FABULOUS. May make me drink more water. Awesome white t-shirt stainer.
Cons: Strawberry Watermelon is the opposite of tasty. Peach flavors might be too fake for some. Midday strippers. Artificial sweeteners leave a temporary coating in your mouth. Hard to measure a squeeze. Making powder dissolve.

REVIEW: Glacéau VitaminWater Zero Drive & VitaminWater Zero Glow

Marvo — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Ugh. I don’t know whether my bladder and mind can take drinking anymore VitaminWater flavors.

Because of my excessive VitaminWater consumption, I’ve been having dreams that involve me standing at a public restroom urinal and peeing a rainbow. Standing at the urinal next to me is the Double Rainbow guy, who’s also peeing a rainbow. Because there isn’t a divider between the urinals, we stare at each other’s rainbow and then we look into each other’s eyes and simultaneously say, “Cross the streams.”

I scoot over a little bit at my urinal to make room for him, and without stopping his rainbow, he moves over to my urinal, spraying some of his rainbow onto the floor. When we both end up peeing into the same urinal, we cross our streams and he says the six words that made him famous, “Whoa. Double rainbow all the way.” I jump up and down with glee, causing me to spray some of my rainbow on the floor, wall, and on the Double Rainbow guy, who, after this happens, pulls out his iPhone and enters a new definition for the term “rainbow showers” into Urban Dictionary.

Then Dr. Egon Spengler busts into the restroom and tells us to not cross streams, but we continue to do so, and as a result, we’re all sent to an alternate universe where there’s no color. Then, the Kool-Aid man breaks through a brick wall and yells the two words that made him famous, “Oh yeah!” He’s followed by Bob Ross who also says, “Oh yeah” but more calmly. Then, Bob Ross uses his magical brushes and paint palette to bring color to the alternate universe, saving the day.

Then, I wake up and go take a leak, which is, sadly, just one color.

The rainbow’s colors differ in my dreams, and depend on which VitaminWater flavors I’ve recently guzzled. The rainbow was primarily orange and pink in my latest dream, because of my consumption of the new VitaminWater Zero Drive and VitaminWater Zero Glow.

VitaminWater Zero Drive, which is blood orange and mixed berry flavored, gets its name because it has natural caffeine and yerba mate, which should give drinkers the “drive” to do something ambitious, but will mostly be used to keep people awake at work or school. A bottle contains 75 milligrams of caffeine, which is slightly less than a skinny can of Red Bull, and significantly less than what caffeine junkies would need to prevent withdrawals.

Drive has an aroma that reminds me of an orange popsicle. Its flavor starts off orange and ends with berry. However, I’ve had blood oranges, and I wouldn’t describe the orange flavor Drive has as blood orange. Instead, I’d consider it just plain orange. Overall, I think for a VitaminWater Zero flavor, it’s good and I’d probably buy it again.

As for the strawberry and guanabana flavored VitaminWater Zero Glow, it contains biotin and vitamins A, C, and E, which are supposed to help support and maintain healthy skin, hair, and nails. So just like movies starring Meryl Streep, it sounds as if it’s meant for women. It has a tropical scent, which I thought was kind of strange until I did some research and found out guanabana has a flavor that, according to Wikipedia, “has been described as a combination of strawberry and pineapple with sour citrus flavor notes contrasting with an underlying creamy flavor reminiscent of coconut or banana.”

I could definitely taste the strawberry and a little bit of citrus in this VitaminWater, but overall I think its flavor tastes like what I imagine the color pink would taste like, if one could taste colors or if shredded Hello Kitty sandwiches existed. VitaminWater Zero Glow has an artificial sweetener aftertaste that I’ve had with beverages containing sucralose or aspartame, but it doesn’t contain either of them. Overall, I think it’s a decent VitaminWater flavor, but I’m skeptical the biotin and vitamins it contain will help one’s looks, unless you drink a bottle regularly.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to pee.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – VitaminWater Zero Drive – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 40% vitamin B6, 40% vitamin B5, 40% vitamin B3, and 40% vitamin B12. VitaminWater Zero Glow – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 20% vitamin E, 40% vitamin B6, 20% biotin, 40% vitamin C, 40% vitamin B3, 40% vitamin B12, 40% vitamin B5 and 10% zinc.)

Other VitaminWater Zero Drive and Glow reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Drink What

Item: Glacéau VitaminWater Zero Drive & VitaminWater Zero Glow
Price: $1.27
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Drive)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Glow)
Pros: Drive is tasty, contains sweet, sweet caffeine, and is an excellent source of vitamin C. Zero calories. Glow has a decent strawberry/citrus flavor. Peeing rainbows. Both are good sources of B vitamins. Bob Ross bringing color to my dream.
Cons: Peeing rainbows. Glow probably isn’t effective if not consumed on a regular basis. Drive’s orange flavor doesn’t taste like blood orange. Glow also has an artificial sweetener aftertaste. Shredded Hello Kitty sandwiches. Having dreams of sharing a urinal with someone else. Crossing the streams. Waiting for Ghostbusters 3.

NEWS: New VitaminWater Zero Glow Helps Your Complexion, Quenches Your Thirst, and Makes Me Remember Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling

Marvo — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 00:54:02 +0000

Update: Click here to read our VitaminWater Zero Glow and VitaminWater Zero Drive review

There are two new VitaminWater Zero flavors available to frustrate those who think they’ve tried ever VitaminWater variety in existence. VitaminWater Zero Glow is a strawberry and guanabana (yes, that’s a real fruit) flavored water that contains biotin and vitamins E and A to “help support & maintain healthy skin, hair, and nails.” VitaminWater Zero Drive is a blood orange and mixed berry flavored water that has 100 percent of your daily intake of vitamin C and 75 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per 20-ounce bottle, which it gets from coffee beans and yerba mate extract.

Both also contain electrolytes and 40 percent of your daily recommended consumption of vitamins B3, B5, B6, and B12. While I do think VitaminWater Zero Drive is useful, thanks to the sweet caffeine, I’m not sure how effective VitaminWater Zero Glow will be with helping one’s skin. With Drive, I can drink just one and the sweet, sweet caffeine will help give me a boost of energy when I’m watching bunda videos on YouTube at three in the morning, but with Glow, I imagine you’d have to drink more than one bottle for it to be beneficial.

And that’s how they getcha!

NEWS: MiO Turns Boring, Flavorless Clear Water Into Slightly Less Boring, Flavored Colored Water

Marvo — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 12:07:33 +0000

Turning water into something other than water hasn’t only been done by Jesus, it’s been done by Crystal Light, Gatorade, Kool-Aid, and Tang. The problem with these mixes is that they come in powder form, which means I’m either going to have to deal with tearing off the tops of little packets or possibly choke on a cloud of fruity powder that rises out of a container of Kool-Aid I accidentally dropped and then opened before everything inside could settle.

But, soon, we’ll have another choice to turn plain old water into flavored plain old water with Kraft’s MiO. Unlike the previous mixes I mentioned, MiO isn’t a powder mix, it’s a liquid water enhancer. Or a liquid flavor concentrate, if you will.

All it takes is few droplets from MiO’s pocket-friendly water droplet-shaped container to turn Mother Nature’s tears into flavored Mother Nature’s tears. Or if you’re like me with a bottle of chocolate syrup and a glass of milk, you can put as much of it as you want in your water. MiO has zero calories and no artificial flavor, but it does contain artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, and preservatives.

MiO will launch nationwide on March 7 and come in six flavors: berry pomegranate, fruit punch, mango peach, peach tea, sweet tea, and strawberry watermelon. It will retail for $3.99 and one bottle can make 24 8-ounce servings.

THE DAY IN REVIEWS – 1/6/2011

Marvo — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 04:00:57 +0000

Here are a few product review posted today from other blogs we follow.

Drinking water is good for your skin. Drinking a four dollar water that claims to be really good for your skin sounds bad for what’s stored inside the leather skin that make up some wallets. (via I Ate A Pie)

Not even SPAM lovers eat SPAM Lite. (via Probably Edible)

Skewered grilled chicken in a can from Japan sounds awful. Unless you love cheeseburger in a can. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

I thought Brazil was only know for soccer, pubic hair waxing, exporting supermodels and having the largest Japanese population outside of Japan, but it’s apparently also known for guarana. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

Image via flickr user Wootang01 / CC BY ND 2.0

REVIEW: Hello Kitty Water

Marvo — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 12:15:40 +0000

Because I can’t read Japanese, I can’t read the label on this bottle of Hello Kitty Water. So I don’t know if this water came from a special spring located at the bottom of Mount Fuji or a Hello Kitty bidet, but it tastes like any other bottled water.

However, what’s really special about it, beside coming in a bottle shaped like Hello Kitty sitting on a gem, is it would cost you around four and a half US dollars if you purchased it in Japan.

The only bottled waters I can think of that could be equally or more expensive than this Hello Kitty Water are those purchased at a movie theater or on a golf course, those bottled at a particular spring in Fiji and those paid for with bloodshed in a post-apocalyptic world.

Yup, four fiddy for plain ol’ water packaged in a bottle that will appeal to 10-year-old girls, 32-year-old women who have adorned their automobiles with Hello Kitty steering wheel covers and car seat covers, and that one woman who drives a pink Pontiac Firebird with a gigantic Hello Kitty face on the car’s hood instead of the iconic firebird image. That woman will also be in a future episode of Hoarders several years from now because her clusterfuck of Hello Kitty memorabilia, consisting of items like Hello Kitty Kotex pads, used Hello Kitty contact lenses and empty bottles of Hello Kitty Water, is endangering her family.

I wish I could say there are gold cinnamon flakes shaped like Hello Kitty floating in it or it has a slight salty flavor like it’s supposed to taste like Hello Kitty sweat or Hello Kitty tears, but it doesn’t. Nor is it Hello Kitty spit, because, of course, it wouldn’t make any sense since Hello Kitty lacks a mouth to produce it. It just tastes like any filtered bottled water that I could purchase at a nearby convenience store for about a dollar or get for free if I pretend I completed a 5K by jumping into the line with all the finishers.

Since I’m not a Hello Kitty fanboy, the only really positive thing I can say about Hello Kitty Water is that, with every sip, it looks like I’m sucking the life out of Hello Kitty, which, if it were the real Hello Kitty, I would consider payback for sucking out my masculinity whenever I step into or walk by a Sanrio store.

Overall, I think with Hello Kitty Water, it’s not about how thirsty you are, it’s more about how much of a thirst you have for Hello Kitty products.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat…oh, who am I kidding? It’s frickin’ water.)

Item: Hello Kitty Water
Price: 367 yen (about $4.50 US)
Size: 265 ml
Purchased at: Somewhere in Japan
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Awesome for Hello Kitty superfans. Awesome to find for those searching for clean drinking water in a post-apocalyptic world. The bottle’s Hello Kitty shape. Getting free food if I look like I just ran in a 5K. Drinking it looks like I’m sucking the life out of Hello Kitty.
Cons: Expensive for a bottle of water. It’s just water. Probably hard to find outside of Japan. Buying bottled water at a movie theater or on a golf course. Having a house stuffed with Hello Kitty memorabilia and being featured on Hoarders because of it. Not Hello Kitty sweat or tears.

REVIEW: Glacéau VitaminWater stur-D

Marvo — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 14:43:48 +0000

I love VitaminWater, like Kim Kardashian loves NFL players.

Perhaps I have a fondness towards VitaminWater because I enjoy variety and there are so many VitaminWater variations. If all the flavors were bound together in book form, the number of varieties would make it feel like one is flipping through the Kama Sutra. There are so many VitaminWater flavors that there is no human on Earth who has more fingers and toes than VitaminWater flavors, even those who have polydactyly.

Because Glacéau pumps out VitaminWater flavors at a rate usually only seen on TLC reality shows, developing new ones must be easy. I’m talking putting on shoes with Velcro straps instead of shoelaces easy.

It’s as if the folks at Glacéau sneak onto the Wheel of Fortune set and spin the wheel to determine which color they’re going to use. Then they mash ingredients together to determine which ones would make that color. Then they figure out which part of the body it’s supposed to help by staring at Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man drawing. Then they have a 14-year-old girl send thousands of text messages, pull the thousands of misspelled words and choose one for the flavor’s name. Finally, they have a copywriter, who uses a keyboard that’s built with high voltage electrified caps lock and shift keys to discourage use of them, type out the description of the flavor that ends up on the bottle’s label.

Doesn’t that sound easy peasy lemon squeezy?

stur-D is the latest VitaminWater flavor and it combines blue agave, passion fruit and citrus. An 8-ounce serving of it contains 10 percent of your daily recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D to help maintain bones. stur-D also has 120 percent of vitamin C and 40 percent of several B vitamins per eight-ounce serving, and it’s got what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes.

Most VitaminWater flavors taste like juice that had an entire tray of ice melt in them, but this blue colored beverage seems sweeter. This could be because it contains five percent juice, or because it has three different sweeteners (crystalline fructose, cane sugar and rebiana). It has a pleasant tropical-ish flavor with the passion fruit on the front end, and the citrus on the back end. I also notice a little berry flavor.

VitaminWater stur-D is good, but I’m not sure drinking it is as effective at maintaining strong bones as a cup of milk or soymilk, which have around 30 percent of your daily recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D per serving. Personally, I prefer to get my calcium and vitamin D the old fashioned way — eating cheese while sunbathing in the nude.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 40 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 120% vitamin C, 10% vitamin D, 40% vitamin B6, 40% vitamin B5, 10% calcium, 40% vitamin B3 and 40% vitamin B12.)

Other VitaminWater Stur-D reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Drink What

Item: Glacéau VitaminWater stur-D
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant tropical-ish flavor. The variety of VitaminWater. Excellent source of vitamin C. Good source of B vitamins. Eating cheese while sunbathing in the nude. It’s got what plants crave.
Cons: Only 10 percent of your daily recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D. Keyboard keys that shock you. Use of lowercase and uppercase letters. Might be a little too sweet for some. The Kardashians.

THE WEEK IN REVIEWS – 11/13/2010

Marvo — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 10:00:16 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Started a new store brand review blog this week called Grand Store Brand Land. There are only two reviews up and I predict within a month it will die from neglect, just like my other two blog endeavors: The Impulsive Download (iPhone app reviews) and Cereal Mashup.

There’s a canned spray cheese that’s cheddar and bacon-flavored. All we need are spray meat and spray bread, and then I can consider the world doomed. (via Probably Edible)

If you’re a company that produces carbonated beverages, are you sure you want to name it Flatt? (via Caffeine-A-Holic)

This holiday season, Starbucks is offering an ice cream version of their Peppermint Mocha. Great! Now whenever I have a late night craving for a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha, I can just stick it in the microwave. (via On Second Scoop)

Wat-aah! Energy Oxygenated Water has more oxygen than regular water, but can’t I get the same results from drinking a regular bottled water while wearing a Breathe Right nasal strip? (via Screaming Energy)