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NEWS: VitaminWater Jumps on Coconut Water Bandwagon With Their New Coco-Refresh Flavor

Written by | June 4, 2012

Topics: Vitamin Water, Water

Coconut face

Last year, SoBe introduced a Lifewater line with coconut water because coconut water was as hot as acai was the year before. And now VitaminWater has finally stuffed some coconut water into a new flavor called Coco-Refresh.

VitaminWater Coco-Refresh contains 10 percent real coconut water from concentrate, which is also the case with the SoBe beverages. Like all VitaminWater varieties, the coconut and pineapple-flavored Coco-Refresh has a purpose. While some help you focus and others help your skin, the latest has the amazing ability to rehydrate you.

Ooooh! Rehydration! I wish all the other VitaminWater varieties had that ability. Oh wait, they all have water, so they do.

Drink What has a review.

A 20-ounce bottle has 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 880 milligrams of potassium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 31 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12, 100% panothenic acid (vitamin B5), and, of course, it’s got electrolytes.

A quick comparison between Sobe Lifewater Coconut Water and VitaminWater Coco-Refresh shows Coco-Refresh has more calories and sugar than Sobe Lifewater Coconut Water, but it also has less sodium, more potassium, and all those B vitamins.

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REVIEW: Glaceau VitaminWater Attention

Written by | April 2, 2012

Topics: 6 Rating, Glaceau, Vitamin Water, Water

VitaminWater Attention

When I first saw the new VitaminWater Attention bottle, I thought to myself, “Finally, a VitaminWater for horny men!”

The label is green, which everyone knows is the horny color, and if you’ve got a dirty mind, the word “attention” screams erection. And the red liquid represents the blood which…well, you boys and girls know how an erection works.

I thought a VitaminWater for sexual health was a logical next step since it seems there’s a VitaminWater for every situation. Need energy? There’s VitaminWater Energy. Need to focus? There’s VitaminWater Focus. Want healthy skin? There’s VitaminWater Zero Glow. Want the courage to face a tiger in a raw meat vest? There’s probably a VitaminWater for that too and it might be called VitaminWater Nerve or something like that.

And the list goes on and on until the break of dawn.

However, after reading the label, it turns out VitaminWater Attention isn’t liquid Viagra, instead it’s kind of a liquid Ritalin that helps one focus. Color me Viagra blue with disappointment.

So how does VitaminWater help one focus?

I was hoping they found a way to bottle YouTube cat videos because, my goodness, they’re really good at grabbing my attention and keeping it, but instead Glaceau does it with a 1-2 punch of 87 milligrams of caffeine and 15 grams of glucose.

With the amount of caffeine it has, I believe VitaminWater Attention is the most caffeinated VitaminWater on the market, and it has more of the good stuff than a skinny can of Red Bull. While this VitaminWater has a decent amount of caffeine, I’m not sure about the glucose. But I do know studies have shown glucose helps with mental performance.

VitaminWater Attention is Fuji apple and watermelon flavored, which explains the green label and red liquid much better than my reasoning (see 2nd paragraph). If you like watered down apple flavored products, that’s not like drinking severely watered down apple juice, you’ll enjoy this particular beverage. However, if you’re hoping for a watered down watermelon flavored product, VitaminWater Attention is probably not for you. There is a little bit of watermelon flavor, but it comes with the slight tartness at the end of each swig. Yes, tartness doesn’t happen with actual watermelon, but does with a particular watermelon hard candy I’m tired of naming that rhymes with Golly Blancher.

Although VitaminWater Attention doesn’t have a lot of watermelon flavor, I kind of like it. It’s pleasant and refreshing. As for helping me focus, I thought the caffeine did its job, but it’s hard for me to determine if the glucose did anything. With cocaine, 15 grams is a lot, but I have no idea if 15 grams of glucose is a lot or a little.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 31 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12, and 100% pantothenic acid.)

Other Glaceau VitaminWater Attention reviews:
Foodette Reviews (Really hated it)
Drink What (Enjoyed it)

Item: Glaceau VitaminWater Attention
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant watered down apple flavor. 87 milligrams of caffeine. Awesome source of Vitamin C. Awesome source of B vitamins. VitaminWater for every situation. No bitterness from caffeine. It’s got electrolytes.
Cons: Not much watermelon flavor. 31 grams of sugar per bottle. Not sure if 15 grams of glucose is a lot or a little. Not a VitaminWater for sexual health.

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NEWS: Attention! Now There’s VitaminWater Attention!

Written by | March 14, 2012

Topics: Vitamin Water, Water

VitaminWater Attention on shelf

Update: Click here to read out VitaminWater Attention review

VitaminWater Attention is the latest not-quite-as-bad-as-soda-but-significantly-worse-than-regular-water beverage from the folks from Glacéau. It’s fuji apple and watermelon flavored, hence its red color.

According to the slick marketing copy found on every VitaminWater bottle, Attention is supposed to help drinkers focus. I find that strange since VitaminWater already has a flavor that helps with focus called Focus. Sounds like Glacéau is running out of deficiencies to help us with.

To help you focus, VitaminWater Attention has 87 milligrams of caffeine in every bottle. It also provides 15 grams of glucose. To be honest, I didn’t pay attention in biology 101 in college (I passed with a C), so I have no idea what glucose does in the body. I really could’ve used a VitaminWater Attention back then.

After a quick Google search and reading a site with a .org domain name, I learned glucose helps boost a person’s cognitive performance. I started to read the Wikipedia entry on glucose, but got quickly bored, like I did with biology 101.

A bottle of VitaminWater Attention has 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 32 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.

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REVIEW: Glacéau VitaminWater Zero Drive & VitaminWater Zero Glow

Written by | March 23, 2011

Topics: 5 Rating, 7 Rating, Glaceau, Vitamin Water, Water

VitaminWater Zero Drive and Glow

Ugh. I don’t know whether my bladder and mind can take drinking anymore VitaminWater flavors.

Because of my excessive VitaminWater consumption, I’ve been having dreams that involve me standing at a public restroom urinal and peeing a rainbow. Standing at the urinal next to me is the Double Rainbow guy, who’s also peeing a rainbow. Because there isn’t a divider between the urinals, we stare at each other’s rainbow and then we look into each other’s eyes and simultaneously say, “Cross the streams.”

I scoot over a little bit at my urinal to make room for him, and without stopping his rainbow, he moves over to my urinal, spraying some of his rainbow onto the floor. When we both end up peeing into the same urinal, we cross our streams and he says the six words that made him famous, “Whoa. Double rainbow all the way.” I jump up and down with glee, causing me to spray some of my rainbow on the floor, wall, and on the Double Rainbow guy, who, after this happens, pulls out his iPhone and enters a new definition for the term “rainbow showers” into Urban Dictionary.

Then Dr. Egon Spengler busts into the restroom and tells us to not cross streams, but we continue to do so, and as a result, we’re all sent to an alternate universe where there’s no color. Then, the Kool-Aid man breaks through a brick wall and yells the two words that made him famous, “Oh yeah!” He’s followed by Bob Ross who also says, “Oh yeah” but more calmly. Then, Bob Ross uses his magical brushes and paint palette to bring color to the alternate universe, saving the day.

Then, I wake up and go take a leak, which is, sadly, just one color.

The rainbow’s colors differ in my dreams, and depend on which VitaminWater flavors I’ve recently guzzled. The rainbow was primarily orange and pink in my latest dream, because of my consumption of the new VitaminWater Zero Drive and VitaminWater Zero Glow.

VitaminWater Zero Drive, which is blood orange and mixed berry flavored, gets its name because it has natural caffeine and yerba mate, which should give drinkers the “drive” to do something ambitious, but will mostly be used to keep people awake at work or school. A bottle contains 75 milligrams of caffeine, which is slightly less than a skinny can of Red Bull, and significantly less than what caffeine junkies would need to prevent withdrawals.

Drive has an aroma that reminds me of an orange popsicle. Its flavor starts off orange and ends with berry. However, I’ve had blood oranges, and I wouldn’t describe the orange flavor Drive has as blood orange. Instead, I’d consider it just plain orange. Overall, I think for a VitaminWater Zero flavor, it’s good and I’d probably buy it again.

As for the strawberry and guanabana flavored VitaminWater Zero Glow, it contains biotin and vitamins A, C, and E, which are supposed to help support and maintain healthy skin, hair, and nails. So just like movies starring Meryl Streep, it sounds as if it’s meant for women. It has a tropical scent, which I thought was kind of strange until I did some research and found out guanabana has a flavor that, according to Wikipedia, “has been described as a combination of strawberry and pineapple with sour citrus flavor notes contrasting with an underlying creamy flavor reminiscent of coconut or banana.”

I could definitely taste the strawberry and a little bit of citrus in this VitaminWater, but overall I think its flavor tastes like what I imagine the color pink would taste like, if one could taste colors or if shredded Hello Kitty sandwiches existed. VitaminWater Zero Glow has an artificial sweetener aftertaste that I’ve had with beverages containing sucralose or aspartame, but it doesn’t contain either of them. Overall, I think it’s a decent VitaminWater flavor, but I’m skeptical the biotin and vitamins it contain will help one’s looks, unless you drink a bottle regularly.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to pee.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – VitaminWater Zero Drive – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 40% vitamin B6, 40% vitamin B5, 40% vitamin B3, and 40% vitamin B12. VitaminWater Zero Glow – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 20% vitamin E, 40% vitamin B6, 20% biotin, 40% vitamin C, 40% vitamin B3, 40% vitamin B12, 40% vitamin B5 and 10% zinc.)

Other VitaminWater Zero Drive and Glow reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Drink What

Item: Glacéau VitaminWater Zero Drive & VitaminWater Zero Glow
Price: $1.27
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Drive)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Glow)
Pros: Drive is tasty, contains sweet, sweet caffeine, and is an excellent source of vitamin C. Zero calories. Glow has a decent strawberry/citrus flavor. Peeing rainbows. Both are good sources of B vitamins. Bob Ross bringing color to my dream.
Cons: Peeing rainbows. Glow probably isn’t effective if not consumed on a regular basis. Drive’s orange flavor doesn’t taste like blood orange. Glow also has an artificial sweetener aftertaste. Shredded Hello Kitty sandwiches. Having dreams of sharing a urinal with someone else. Crossing the streams. Waiting for Ghostbusters 3.

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NEWS: New VitaminWater Zero Glow Helps Your Complexion, Quenches Your Thirst, and Makes Me Remember Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling

Written by | March 10, 2011

Topics: Vitamin Water, Water

VitaminWater Zero Glow & Drive

Update: Click here to read our VitaminWater Zero Glow and VitaminWater Zero Drive review

There are two new VitaminWater Zero flavors available to frustrate those who think they’ve tried ever VitaminWater variety in existence. VitaminWater Zero Glow is a strawberry and guanabana (yes, that’s a real fruit) flavored water that contains biotin and vitamins E and A to “help support & maintain healthy skin, hair, and nails.” VitaminWater Zero Drive is a blood orange and mixed berry flavored water that has 100 percent of your daily intake of vitamin C and 75 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per 20-ounce bottle, which it gets from coffee beans and yerba mate extract.

Both also contain electrolytes and 40 percent of your daily recommended consumption of vitamins B3, B5, B6, and B12. While I do think VitaminWater Zero Drive is useful, thanks to the sweet caffeine, I’m not sure how effective VitaminWater Zero Glow will be with helping one’s skin. With Drive, I can drink just one and the sweet, sweet caffeine will help give me a boost of energy when I’m watching bunda videos on YouTube at three in the morning, but with Glow, I imagine you’d have to drink more than one bottle for it to be beneficial.

And that’s how they getcha!

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