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REVIEW: Burger King Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger

Written by | June 6, 2014

Topics: 7 Rating, Burger King, Fast Food

Burger King Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger

To some of you, what’s in the photo above looks disgusting, as if someone regurgitated a burger. I can see that. There’s no doubt it’s the burger equivalent of a disheveled drunk laying on the sidewalk after a long night of debauchery.

The melted American cheese is like the pools of one own’s filth a passed out drunk would lie in. The golden onion rings peeking out from under the long hoagie sesame seed bun are like the accidentally exposed nipple or genitals. The BBQ sauce is the dried blood on the disheveled drunk, who will not know how it got there, why there’s so much of it, and whose blood it is.

The previous paragraph probably made your opinion of the Burger King Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger even lower, but, to me, what’s in the photo is extremely sexy and I’m getting wet staring at it. Because I’m drooling and I have slightly overactive saliva glands. Ask my pillow and anyone I’ve yelled at.

Burger King Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger Closeup

The melted cheese makes the sandwich appear as if it has a built-in fondue machine. The golden brown onion rings scream crispy. The dark BBQ sauce is like black lingerie, hidden underneath the bun. There isn’t a lot of it, but there’s enough of it to tantalize me. Then there’s the two round beef patties topped with all the other ingredients.

Everything brings back memories of throwing loose change on the counter to pay for the inexpensive, tasty, but now discontinued Rodeo Cheeseburger. Yes, if you’re familiar with Burger King menus of yore, you’d know this is a stretched-out Rodeo Cheeseburger.

Obviously, with pretty much the same ingredients as a Rodeo Cheeseburger, the Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger tastes as wonderful as the beloved little burger. The onion rings have a slight crunch and just enough onion flavor to cut through the BBQ sauce, which has a wonderful sweet and spicy flavor and is, in my opinion, the best tasting BBQ sauce among the big burger chains. The combination of beef patties, cheese, onion rings, and BBQ sauce hit my taste buds with so many different flavors — salty, sweet, spicy, oniony, and greasy. It’s definitely a better tasting use for Burger King’s hoagie bun than their Original Chicken Sandwich.

While the Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger is tasty, its price is an issue. Like with stretched-out limos, there’s a premium for this stretched-out Rodeo Cheeseburger. My fellow future Lipitor taker, Ryan over at Grub Grade, noted in his review that one can get two Rodeo Burgers, plus pay extra for cheese, for a total that’s significantly cheaper than this limited time only burger. However, if you’re super hungry or have friends, Burger King recently added the sandwich to their 2 for $5 deal.

Let’s be honest, Burger King’s “new” Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger isn’t new. The combination of ingredients is old. Heck, the “Extra Long” name is old (it’s been used by Burger King in other countries) and using BK’s hoagie bun for a cheeseburger in the U.S. is also old (see BK’s Bullseye BBQ Burger). But my taste buds sure do like reminiscing with it.

Burger King Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger Wrapper

(Nutrition Facts – 590 calories, 28 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1080 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, and 22 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger
Purchased Price: $6.79 (value meal)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like my beloved Burger King Rodeo Cheeseburger. It looks sexy (to me). Onion rings have a nice crunch and have enough flavor to cut through BBQ sauce. So many flavors coming together. Burger King’s BBQ sauce, which, I think, is the best of the big burger chains. Available with Burger King’s 2 for $5 deal.
Cons: Not really a “new” product. Pricey if you purchased one, would be cheaper to buy two Rodeo Burgers with cheese. Could’ve used a bit more BBQ sauce. To some it might look like a disheveled drunk.

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REVIEW: Burger King Chicken Big King

Written by | April 25, 2014

Topics: 6 Rating, Burger King, Fast Food

Burger King Chicken Big King

It’s difficult to stop staring at the middle bun of Burger King’s Chicken Big King because it’s comically thick. I stared at this new sandwich’s buns for so long that if it was a human being, I’d be called into a Human Resources Department and told I’m making the Chicken Big King feel very uncomfortable.

Speaking of uncomfortable, it feels weird not being able to sing, “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun,” while eating a sandwich that comes with a middle bun and a special sauce. I tried singing alternate lyrics to accommodate the Chicken Big King, but singing, “Two molded crispy chicken patties, sweet thousand island style dressing, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun,” just didn’t sound right in my head. However, that ingredients list also makes a decent chicken sandwich.

Let’s start with the component I noticed right after monstrous middle bun that makes the Chicken Big King look like a Duplo tower. The sweet thousand island style dressing? No. The lettuce.

One thing I don’t like about the McDonald’s Big Mac is the shredded lettuce which easily falls out of the sandwich. Have you ever found a piece of McDonald’s shredded lettuce in your shirt pocket? I have. But that won’t happen with the iceberg lettuce leaves on a Chicken Big King.

Yes, the pale leaves make the sandwich look a little depressing and provide nothing positive to the sandwich in terms of taste and texture, but at least I won’t find any hiding on or in my clothes on laundry day.

Burger King Chicken Big King Half

The Chicken Big King doesn’t come with the long chicken patties found on a Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich or their Tendercrisp chicken. Instead it uses the same patties found in BK’s Classic Crispy Chicken Sandwich, which I didn’t know existed five minutes ago. I thought BK’s Original Chicken Sandwich WAS their classic crispy chicken sandwich.

Anyhoo, the crispy chicken patty’s breading lacks the spices the McChicken’s patty has, but it is noticeably crisper. They aren’t horrible patties, but I wish they had more flavor than what’s offered in school cafeterias.

Now let’s talk about the sweet thousand island style dressing, onions, and pickles. The dressing was applied to all three buns, but they were stingy amounts. Apparently, Fast Food Santa Claus made my sandwich and I’ve been naughty. The lack of dressing made it hard for the most important ingredient to shine and most of the time it tasted like I was eating a plain chicken sandwich. The pickles provided a nice sourness that went well with the sweet and tangy dressing (when there was enough to taste it), but the rings of onions didn’t offer any flavor.

Again, Burger King’s Chicken Big King is a decent sandwich and if my sandwich had more sauce, I probably would’ve enjoyed it more. So if you’ve decided you want to try it, make sure you avoid being on Fast Food Santa’s naughty list for things like staring at buns for too long.

(Nutrition Facts – 660 calories, 37 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 1600 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of sugar, 23 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Chicken Big King
Purchased Price: $4.39
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: More flavor than BK’s Original Chicken Sandwich. The sweet and tangy thousand island style dressing when there’s a generous amount. Pickles have a nice sourness and crunch. Chicken patties have a good crispiness. Iceberg lettuce not shredded.
Cons: Getting a stingy amount of sauce in my sandwich. Chicken patties need a bit more flavor and they make the McChicken patties seems better than they really are. Onions lack flavor. It has iceberg lettuce. Getting on Fast Food Santa’s naughty list because of excessive staring at buns.

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QUICK REVIEW: Burger King Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Written by | January 28, 2014

Topics: 4 Rating, Burger King, Fast Food

Burger King Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Purchased Price: $5.69*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Same size as Burger King’s Original Chicken Sandwich. Tastes fine and pretty much tastes like Burger King’s Original Chicken Sandwich with a teeny wittle spiciness. If you’re gradually trying to get used to spicy foods by taking baby steps, this would make a great first step. Can be purchased with the 2 for $5 Burger King promotion, which is probably the only time when it’s worth it.
Cons: Spicy specialists, heat heads, and burn bums will be disappointed with the level of heat the sandwich has. Cayenne and black pepper do not make a spicy chicken. Ugh…The promotional pics show green leafy lettuce, but we get pale iceberg lettuce. Should’ve used a spicy sauce instead of cooling mayo (they’ve got the Angry Whopper’s Angry sauce, so why not use it?). Way overpriced at $5.69. Overpriced at $4.69. Slightly overpriced at $3.99.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Burger King Spicy Chicken Sandwich Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 640 calories, 38 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 1310 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, 23 grams of protein.

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QUICK REVIEW: Burger King Rodeo Burger

Written by | January 15, 2014

Topics: 9 Rating, Burger King, Fast Food

Burger King Rodeo Burger

Purchased Price: $1.59*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Awesome value for $1 (Decent value for $1.59). Love the sweet and spicy barbecue sauce, which there was just the right amount of. Size of onion rings ensure there’s a bit of it in every bite. Onion rings and barbecue sauce complement the beef patty well. Even though they were sitting in its wrapper for about 10 minutes, the onion rings were still a little crispy. 450 milligrams of sodium is surprisingly low for a fast food burger.
Cons: Having to pay $1.59 for a sandwich that’s being advertised at $1. It’s not at all filling. Beef patty was noticeably smaller than the toasted sesame seed bun. I really should say “Where’s the Beef?” but I think many of you are too young to know the reference.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. Most of you will pay just $1 for it.

Burger King Rodeo Burger Topless

Nutrition Facts: 310 calories, 110 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 450 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, 1 gram of fiber, and 9 grams of protein.

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REVIEW: Burger King BBQ Rib Sandwich

Written by | November 27, 2013

Topics: 5 Rating, Burger King, Fast Food

Burger King BBQ Rib Sandwich

‘Tis the season.

The McRib season, that is. America’s favorite pork sandwich has finally returned to McDonald’s restaurants across the country. Ribheads far and wide began planning their yearly poetry slams in dedication to the rib sandwich…until terror struck.

When the folks over at Reddit posted an alleged picture of a frozen McRib patty, all hell broke loose. The public felt betrayed: How could such an unappetizing white block of flash-frozen pig meat really transform into the McRib, a sandwich worthy of the gods?

While McDonald’s was busy being condemned by the media, Burger King emerged from the shadows to offer the American people a porky alternative.

Just in time for the holiday season, Burger King has unveiled their value menu BBQ Rib Sandwich, an obvious McRib rival. For a single dollar, the customer can receive a boneless rib patty served on a sesame seed bun with onions, pickles, and barbecue sauce. It’s bound to be on all the kiddies’ Christmas lists. What five-year-old doesn’t look forward to unwrapping a slab of processed meat slathered in barbecue sauce on Christmas morning? Don’t answer that.

Now let’s get serious for a moment. It’s possible that Burger King’s rib patties undergo a process of flash-freezing similar to McDonald’s. But what you don’t know won’t hurt you, right? Sure, the saturated fat and high sodium content might slowly clog my arteries and lead to high blood pressure, but if there’s one thing Robin Williams ever taught me, it’s carpe diem. He also taught me that sometimes you need to dress up like an elderly Scottish nanny to spy on your family.

As I entered my local Burger King restaurant, I had high expectations. After all, the chain proved they knew how to handle barbecue pork through the their summer rib sandwich, which strongly resembles the new value menu BBQ Rib Sandwich.

As soon as I saw the generic, grease-stained hamburger wrapper that held the rib sandwich, I knew I was going to be disappointed.

Burger King BBQ Rib Sandwich 2

The BBQ Rib Sandwich is served on a standard Burger King sesame seed bun, which failed to impress due to its floppy and bland nature. Though the sweet, tangy barbecue sauce provided a kick of heat that complemented the porky flavor of the rib patty, there wasn’t enough sauce present on the sandwich.

The BBQ Rib Sandwich came topped with two pickles and a measly slice of onion. Though these toppings provided a minor crunch to the sandwich, both the pickle and onion flavors seemed masked by the barbecue sauce.

In comparison to the rib sandwich released by Burger King this past summer, the new BBQ Rib Sandwich is notably inferior. Though the rib patty and barbecue sauce on the two sandwiches seem very similar, the BBQ Rib Sandwich features a disappointing bun and fewer, less tasty pickles. In addition, the BBQ Rib Sandwich just looks miserable.

It seems the new BBQ Rib Sandwich will not be on my Christmas list this year. Instead, I’ll be asking Santa for a big ol’ sack of McRibs.

Saint Nick better not try to fool me with reindeer meat again. I know the difference.

(Nutrition Facts – 450 calories, 250 calories from fat, 28 grams of total fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 930 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugars, and 19 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King BBQ Rib Sandwich
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Sweet, tangy barbecue sauce complements pork flavor. Only one dollar. Robin Williams. McRibs for Christmas.
Cons: Pickle and onion flavors are masked. Floppy bun. Inferior to BK’s summer rib sandwich.

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