Yesterday, Burger King rolled out a soft-serve desserts menu, which includes premium sundaes, traditional sundaes, soft-serve cones or cups, and milkshakes.

Yes, most of those soft-serve desserts sound similar to what McDonald’s offers.

The premium sundaes, which aren’t really like anything McDonald’s offers, come in four varieties:

Peach and Granola (Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 43 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Oreo (Nutrition Facts: 440 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 57 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.)

Oreo Brownie (Nutrition Facts: 530 calories, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 70 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.)

Mini M&M’s (Nutrition Facts: 450 calories, 13 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 62 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.)

The Peach and Granola Sundae has a suggested retail price of $1.79, while the others have a SRP of $2.49.

The traditional sundaes, which are like something McDonald’s offers, come in three flavors:

Chocolate Fudge (Nutrition Facts: 280 calories 7 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 43 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.)

Caramel (Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 37 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Strawberry (Nutrition Facts: 190 calories, 4 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 31 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

All flavors have a suggested retail price of $1.

The milkshakes come in three classic flavors: chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla. All will come with whipped topping. A regular size will cost $2.49, while a large will go for $3.49. As for the vanilla soft serve cones and cups, they will sell for 89 cents.

I’m disappointed with Burger King.

They’re the “Home of the Whopper,” not the “Home of Whole Grains and Fiber,” so their new Burger King Oatmeal puzzles me. Instead of clogging my arteries, the fiber in their new oatmeal is scraping away the stuff that shrinks my arteries’ passageways, some of which was put there by their food. By scraping away that plaque that lines my arterial walls, what they’re really doing is scraping themselves away.

I wonder if I just blew Burger King’s mind.

So Burger King should forget about oatmeal and get back to doing what they’re good at — making Whoppers, making other burgers and sandwiches that aren’t as good as the Whopper, and making crappy French fries.

But, if they’re really attached to making oatmeal, I’d suggest revamping their menu with nothing but healthier fare and changing their name to Garden King. Although, if they do, I’m pretty sure a bunch of Chinese restaurants will be upset with the name change.

But until either one happens, it’s going to be oatmeal and a whole lot of fried stuff on Burger King’s menu boards.

Oh, but their oatmeal isn’t just any ol’ oatmeal. It’s Quaker oatmeal, which means two things:

1. Burger King wants people to know they’re serious about their oatmeal.

2. I could make the exact same thing at home in 3-4 minutes.

Burger King’s oatmeal is quite good, if you get it with the dried fruit (raisins, golden raisins, and dried cranberries). While the oatmeal is sweetened with brown sugar, it’s easily ten times better with the fruit, which there is enough of to have a little dried fruit in every spoonful. The oatmeal does have a nice thick consistency, even though the picture above may show otherwise.

Although I really do like Burger King’s oatmeal, I prefer McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal. Burger King’s oatmeal (7 ounces) is smaller than McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal (9.2 ounces) and McDonald’s oatmeal includes fresh apples. Although McDonald’s uses fast food black magic to prevent the apples from turning brown. Also, Burger King’s oatmeal is only available during breakfast hours, while McDonald’s oatmeal is available throughout the day.

So now that Burger King has oatmeal, does this mean we’ll see more wholesome items on their menu board or will their oatmeal end up like the BK Veggie and just be a novelty stuck in the sea of saturated fats and grease on Burger King’s menu board.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oatmeal with fruit – 270 calories, 4 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 4 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 29 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Quaker Oatmeal
Price: $2.49
Size: 7 ounces
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: It’s good. Uses Quaker oatmeal. Lots of dried fruit. Thick consistency. Burger King Whopper. Made using whole grain oats. Good source of fiber.
Cons: Only available on the breakfast menu. I could probably make it at home in 3-4 minutes. The number of King Garden restaurants. Fiber scraping away the Burger King inside of me. BK Veggie.

Update: Click here to read our Burger King Quaker Oatmeal review

BK Chicken Fries are weird, but Burger King’s new oatmeal is weirder.

It’s frickin’ weird because everything on the Burger King menu board is the opposite of oatmeal. Well, except for their garden salad, the apple slices they offer with their kids meals, and the water you can get from the self-serve soda dispenser. But that’s it.

I guess with new ownership comes new ideas to stop being McDonald’s floor mat.

Burger King’s oatmeal isn’t just any ol’ oatmeal, it’s Quaker-brand oatmeal, so you know you’re getting something you could easily make yourself. Their oatmeal comes in Original and Fruit Topped Maple flavors. The fruity version includes dried cranberries, raisins, cherries, and blueberries.

Burger King Oatmeal has a suggested retail price of $1.99. The Original flavor has 110 calories and just one gram of fat, while the Fruit Topped Maple flavor has 270 calories and 4 grams of fat.

However, if you’re looking to get your fiber on with Burger King’s oatmeal, you’ll be able to do so only during breakfast hours, from 6 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. So if you need an oatmeal fix from a major fast food chain after 10:30 a.m., you gotta go to McDonald’s.

Update: Click here to read our Burger King Quaker Oatmeal review

Source: Nation’s Restaurant News

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Hmm. First, it was Pepsi Blue Hawaii. And now Pepsi Japan has released Pepsi Caribbean Gold. What tropical islands and color will they do next? I don’t know, but my money is on Fiji Fuchsia. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

This bologna has a first name it’s B-U-B-B-L-E-G-U-M. This bologna has a second name it’s the sound of vomiting into a toilet. (via Clearance Cuisine)

One. Two. Three. Four. Four BK Minis reviews. (thunder and lightning) AH AH AH AH AH! (via An Immovable Feast, Grub Grade, Foodette Reviews, and Fat Guy Food Blog)

Thin ‘n Trim Garden Vegetable Chicken Sausage? I believe there are six words in the previous sentence that should never be in the same sentence as “sausage.” (via Dave’s Cupboard)

Did Burger King’s The King freak you out and appear in your dreams robeless to give me…I mean, you a massage, using his beard to spread massage oil on your back, chest, and your inner thighs?

Well, you no longer have to worry about The King sneaking up on, waking up next to or massaging you anymore, because The King has been overthrown by Burger King’s new owners and advertising agency. Along with the King-less advertising, Burger King is also testing a slew of new menu items in markets across the country.

The test items include an Asian chicken salad with baby edamame, red cabbage, and a sesame lime vinaigrette; mango and mixed berry smoothies; low-fat yogurt berry parfait with granola; oatmeal with dried fruit and maple sugar, vanilla soft-serve ice cream sundaes; a chicken and apple salad with blue cheese; a chicken BLT wrap with bacon and Dijion mustard; and a new premium burger with thick-cut bacon, romaine lettuce, and a spicy pepper grill sauce in between a brioche bun.

If you’re a connoisseur of fast food, you probably noticed that many of those items are currently available on McDonald’s menu. So copycat, copycat, hope you choke on a rat, Burger King. Although Burger King did come out with Angus beef burgers before McDonald’s. So copycat, copycat, hope you choke on a rat, McDonald’s.

Anyhoo, it’s important to note again that all of those items are just being tested and some of them may not make it as a regular item on every Burger King menu board.

Source: Miami Herald and Burger Business

The Burger King California Whopper is not a new product.

In the United States, it’s been available exclusively at BK Whopper Bars since 2009 (Warning: Automatic music playing website), and last year it was available throughout the fast food hungry countries of Norway, Sweden and Denmark.

I find it a bit strange that California didn’t get to experience the California Whopper before the Scandanavians did. I’m not one for conspiracies, but it’s as if the United States-based Burger King, wanted to knock Sweden and Denmark out of the Top 10 World’s Healthiest Countries so that the United States, which is the 11th healthiest country in the world, can sneak into the top ten.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

But, of course, a conspiracy to get the United States to move into the top 10 healthiest countries in the world can’t be true. Besides, the Burger King California Whopper is now available to all Americans, so just like a person who ate a large-sized Burger King Whopper value meal, the United States won’t be moving anywhere anytime soon.

To make a California Whopper, Burger King takes their regular Whopper; leaves out the ketchup, pickles, and onions; and replaces them with bacon, swiss cheese, and guacamole. The green Mexican dip made from avocados is the only ingredient that allows this burger to be called the California Whopper.

At first, I thought it’s called the California Whopper because guacamole is Mexican and there are a lot of Mexicans in California. But then I realized that might be a little racist. Thankfully, I found out California produces 95 percent of the country’s avocados and Fallbrook, California claims itself to be the “Avocado Capital of the World.” So the avocados in the guacamole is the reason why it’s called the California Whopper.

As for the amount of guacamole in the California Whopper, there’s a lot of it. So much so that if Ghostbusters 3 ever comes to fruition, Burger King should do a movie tie-in using the California Whopper, but renaming it to the Ecto Whopper, because with the amount of guacamole it has, it looks like it’s been slimed. But despite it oozing guacamole everywhere, its flavor is subdued enough that, at times, it’s almost like I’m eating a regular Whopper.

Taco Bell makes a better tasting guacamole.

Shit. I never thought I’d type that sentence above EVER.

That’s how little I think of Burger King’s guacamole. When one makes a guacamole that’s worse than Taco Bell’s, they should be running towards the border and past it…so that they can learn how to make a better guacamole. Perhaps add some onion flavor. Or a little more salt. Or a little bit of spice.

I sound upset, because I am upset. I really wanted to love this burger, because I love guacamole. I wanted to get fat from this burger. I wanted my doctor to tell me I should stop eating them. I wanted it to be my only source of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats, along with saturated and trans fats.

Not even the other ingredients in the burger help. The swiss cheese doesn’t add anything. And the bacon is typical fast food bacon that, despite being called “crispy” in every promo, is never crispy and hardly brings any flavor. I really wish fast food companies would tinker with their bacon instead of their french fries.

Look, I know I just used the last 265 words to rant about the Burger King California Whopper, but I sort of liked it whenever I could taste a little guacamole. Do I feel like it could’ve been better? Oh, hell yes! But I also realize my expectations for it (Whopper = YUM! Guacamole = YUM! Whopper + Guacamole = YUM! YUM!) were probably too high and that I shouldn’t expect Burger King to make a burger that moves me as much as the San Andreas Fault moves California.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 California Whopper – 820 calories, 500 calories from fat, 56 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1400 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein.)

Other California Whopper reviews:
Tampa Bay Food Monster
Grub Grade
Fat Guy Food Blog

Item: Burger King California Whopper
Price: $5.99 (sandwich only)
Size: 1 sandwich
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: I kind of liked it, but it could’ve been so much better. Smooth guacamole. Lots of guacamole. Flame-broiled patties. Avocados are a great source for poly- and monounsaturated fats. U-S-A!
Cons: Guacamole needed more flavor. Bacon was useless. Cheese was useless. Pricey for just the sandwich. Not being able to watch Ghostbusters 3. There’s a guacamole worse than Taco Bell’s. Saturated and trans fats negating the poly- and monounsaturated fats.