The Impulsive Buy » Fast Food

NEWS: Mashed Potato Burger From McDonald’s China Could Be A Knockoff of Another Country’s Burger

Marvo — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:24:34 +0000

There are companies in China that make cheap knockoffs of things like iPads, designer sunglasses, Nike shoes, and BMW automobiles. Copyright laws in China are…well, let’s just say copyright in China is copyallright. At first, I didn’t think the new McDonald’s China Mashed Potato Beef Burger sounded like a knockoff of another country’s burger, but after doing some research, it might just be.

Here in the United States Burger King had a burger topped with mashed potatoes and Burger King Taiwan had a burger called the Mashed Potato Beef Burger. Okay, so perhaps it’s not a knockoff of another country’s burger, but it is a knockoff of another company’s burger.

The McDonald’s China Mashed Potato Beef Burger is made up of two 100 percent beef patties, bacon, lettuce, some kind of sauce, and a layer of mashed potatoes. I’m lovin’ it…and I’m hatin’ it at the same time because we can’t get it here in the United States. If you happen to find yourself in China to buy a cheap iPad knockoff, a Mashed Potato Beef Burger will cost you 19.5 yuan (about three US dollars).

Commercial below:

REVIEW: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger

Marvo — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

To best describe Jack in the Box’s new BLT Cheeseburger, I’d like to use some of the lyrics from this Jack in the Box commercial.

First you take the Jumbo Jack with Cheese.
And then you add strips of bacon and take away the ketchup and onions.
Whaddya get?
BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger!

Yes, the Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is basically a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. If you’ve never had the burger with the alliterated name because you’re hundreds of miles away from a Jack in the Box, let me break it down for you.

A Jumbo Jack with Cheese consists of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup, a slice of American cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. A BLT Cheeseburger is made up of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, pickles, hickory-smoked bacon, a slice of American Cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. If there was such a thing as fast food DNA, I believe these two burgers would be brothers, sister, brother and sister, or maybe first cousins.

One of the ways Jack in the Box has been promoting the burger is with their Marry Bacon website, which follows some dude named Neal who married bacon. Of course, the whole marrying bacon brings up several questions in my head.

How does a slice of bacon say “I do”? How does the stripper at the bachelorette party give a lap dance to a strip of bacon when it has no lap? How does a strip of bacon throw the bouquet? Does the bridal party consist of pigs or other strips of bacon? Where does a strip of bacon put a wedding garter? If the newlyweds vacation at a beach resort and go sunbathing, will the bacon shrink as it fries in the sun? Also, how does one consummate a marriage to bacon?

I’ll never know the answer to those questions, but I do know the answer to this question: Does the bacon in the BLT Cheeseburger make me want to marry bacon or, at least, fondle a BLT Cheeseburger whenever I’m at a Jack in the Box?

Maybe.

Last year, Jack in the Box started using a different type of bacon and I have to say that it’s an improvement over the old stuff. And thank goodness it is because there’s a lot of bacon in this burger. It’s crispier and its flavor doesn’t get lost behind all the other ingredients, which means it actually makes a meaningful contribution to the flavor of the burger.

This new-ish bacon combined with Jack in the Box’s new beef patties that are seasoned while they cook make the BLT Cheeseburger a decent sandwich. Although, perhaps, the person who made my sandwich went a little overboard with the seasoning because it was awfully salty. The American cheese seems to be there just to keep the bacon from falling out of the burger, since it doesn’t provide much flavor. The pickles and tomatoes make up for the lame vegetation that is the chopped lettuce.

The Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is a good burger, but it’s around only for a limited time. If you miss out, who knows when or if they’ll bring it back again. Although, if they don’t, you could just purchase a Jumbo Jack with Cheese and order it with bacon.

(Nutrition Facts – 649 calories, 326 calories from fat, 36 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,658 milligrams of sodium, 520 milligrams of potassium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger
Price: $4.99
Size: Small combo
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good. Better bacon. Better beef patties. Lots of bacon. American cheese keeps the bacon from falling out. Part of a decently priced combo.
Cons: It’s pretty much a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. Lettuce is pale and falls out easily. A bit too salty. Marrying bacon.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 2/4/2012

Marvo — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

A Wienerschnitzel Junkyard Dog comes with chili, cheese, onions, fries, and mustard. Sadly, it does not come with a wheel from a 1970′s Datsun Sunny. (via An Immovable Feast)

The British sure love mystery. They gave us Sherlock Holmes and the PBS show Mystery! I wouldn’t be surprised if the Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine was a Vauxhall. Now the British have mystery flavored potato chips. (via Foodstuff Finds)

Here’s a fun little game: Get completely wasted and try to click one of the links in this sentence that lead to the alcohol-related candy reviews Candyblog posted this past week. (via Candyblog)

Trader Joe’s Choczilla Nut Pie makes me giggle. Perhaps it’s because choczilla, nut, and pie have all been used in porn titles. (via What’s Good at Trader Joe’s)

If you hear the name Sweet Blossom Lavender Flowers and think it’s either a women’s deodorant or perfume, you’d be wrong. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Image via flickr user Hugo90 / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Bacon Shake

Marvo — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:10:06 +0000

Jack in the Box’s new Bacon Shake is damn intriguing, but it also sounds gross and I’m scared of it. I’m pretty sure I’m afraid of it because I haven’t gotten over that time I spent with my lips around a Jones Bacon Soda.

Oh dear, I just gagged. Will these emotional scars ever heal?

The Jack in the Box Bacon Shake isn’t like the Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae we reviewed last year, which was topped with real chopped bacon. Instead, the Bacon Shake uses bacon-flavored Torani syrup, which is blended with vanilla ice cream.

To maximize the unusualness of the bacon shake, I hoped the suckable dessert was bacon colored, but as you can see in the picture on the right, the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake looks as harmless as a vanilla milkshake. It’s not even raw bacon pink.

The bacon-flavored shake also smells harmless. There’s a very slight hint of smokiness, but not enough to cause a bunch of red flags to pop up in your head. When I ordered my shake, I was asked if I wanted whipped cream and a cherry on top. I said yes and then asked if I could also get chopped bacon on top of that. The Jack in the Box employee laughed and then said “I’m sorry, no.” A part of me wanted to slam both hands on the counter and yell, “I’m not going to settle for that answer!”

I find it a little strange the shake didn’t come with bacon sprinkled on top of it. Every Jack in the Box restaurant has the means to fry up bacon and chop it up, so why not take that extra step and add a little texture to the shake? It would’ve made this bacon shake many times more fascinating.

Many of you might be expecting me to say the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake is repulsive, but, surprisingly, it’s not. Although I have to admit it was slightly off-putting at first. But the more I ate, the more I enjoyed the bacon flavor of the shake, which wasn’t anything close to being overpowering. Instead it had a very mild smokiness, albeit an artificial smokiness. The weirdest thing about this shake (yes, weirder than the fact it’s bacon flavored) is the way it ends up tasting like coffee at the back end.

Overall, I wouldn’t call the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake “scrumptious,” but I also wouldn’t call it “revolting.” I think “pleasant” would be the best word I could use to describe it. If you’re REALLY into bacon, you should definitely give it a try. Would I buy another? I probably would. Although, if it came topped with chopped bacon, I’d change my answer to most definitely.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces/regular size – 773 calories, 358 calories from fat, 40 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 2 gram of trans fat, 127 milligrams of cholesterol, 319 milligrams of sodium, 691 milligrams of potassium, 89 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 75 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Bacon Shake
Price: $3.99
Size: Regular
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Not revolting. Pleasant flavor. Creamy. Tastes like coffee at the back end of the flavor. Bacon lovers will probably enjoy it.
Cons: Not sprinkled with chopped bacon. Might be gross to some people. There’s no signage for it in restaurants. Not bacon colored. The deep emotional scars from drinking a Jones Bacon Soda two years ago.

NEWS: Jack in the Box’s Bacon Shake Sounds Like It Will Shake My Tongue and Stomach

Marvo — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:11:14 +0000

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Bacon Shake review

Denny’s combined ice cream and bacon. And now Jack in the Box is getting into the act with their Bacon Shake. However, unlike Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae which was topped with chopped bacon, Jack’s Bacon Shake uses a bacon-flavored syrup.

Bacon-flavored syrup…I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

According to Jack in the Box’s Marry Bacon website:

The bacon shake is limited as limited can be. There’s no telling when it might disappear, so go get one right now. Right now at participating restaurants.

Grub Grade just posted pictures of it.

Image via flickr user jshontz / CC BY 2.0

NEWS: The BLT in Jack in the Box’s New BLT Cheeseburger Could Mean Boring, Lame, and Tiresome

Marvo — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:33:40 +0000

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger review

I’m greatly disappointed Jack in the Box’s new BLT Cheeseburger doesn’t consist of a beef patty and cheese placed in between two BLT sandwiches.

That would get me excited and nutrition groups upset about this new burger. Instead, it’s just a burger that uses Jack in the Box’s improved 100 percent beef patty and is topped with hickory-smoked bacon, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, American cheese, pickles, and a mayo-onion sauce, all of which is in between a sesame seed bun.

Sigh.

So if I were to take away the ketchup and onions in a Jack in the Box Jumbo Jack with Cheese and replace it with bacon, I’d have a BLT Cheeseburger.

Sigh.

Well, the Super Bowl commercial that’s promoting this BLT Cheeseburger better be more creative that the burger itself.

The Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger will be available for a limited time starting today and comes in a combo meal that also includes a 20-ounce drink and small fries for $4.99.

NEWS: Sadly, Dunkin’ Donuts New Bakery Sandwiches Don’t Use Donuts As Buns

Marvo — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:13:50 +0000

The folks over at Fast Food Geek reviewed Dunkin’ Donuts’ new Bakery Sandwiches, which come in two varieties: Ham & Cheese and Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon.

The Ham & Cheese is made up of sliced ham with white cheddar on a French roll, while the Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon consists of sliced turkey, cherrywood smoked bacon and white cheddar cheese on a French roll. The new Bakery Sandwiches join the Texas Toast Grilled Cheese Sandwich on the after-breakfast menu.

But, seriously, Bakery Sandwiches? BORING! Come on, Dunkin’ Donuts! Come on over to the dark side and break the 1,000 calorie mark with a sandwich that combines a sausage patty, bacon, eggs, and several slices of cheese in between one of your glazed donuts. Oh, it would be so good…and evil. It feels good to be evil once in a while.

A Ham & Cheese has 440 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 24 grams of protein. A Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon has 470 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 28 grams of protein.

Image via flickr user shinya / CC BY 2.0

NEWS: Taco Bell Launching The ‘First Meal’ This Week In 10 Lucky States

Marvo — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 21:00:00 +0000

At first, I didn’t understand why Taco Bell would call their new breakfast the “First Meal.” Why don’t they just call it “breakfast” like any normal fast food joint would? But then I began to see their logic. Taco Bell has their Fourth Meal, which tends to be eaten late at night by drunk people. Of course, Taco Bell can’t call it Late Night Drunken Meal, so the name Fourth Meal was born.

So perhaps the First Meal is meant for hungover people trying to recuperate from a night of booze. Of course, Taco Bell can’t call it Hangover Recovery Meal, so they came up with the name First Meal. Sounds logical to me.

Taco Bell’s First Meal will be available, starting this week, at 750 locations in 10 states. Yes, just 10 out of the 50 states in this great country, which doesn’t seem so great anymore because not every one of them is getting the First Meal this week.

Taco Bell’s First Meal menu is made up of 11 new products, which includes coffee, orange juice, breakfast burritos, sausage and egg wraps, and Cinnabon Delights (fried dough balls with cream filling). Our friends over at Grub Grade have more information about the menu and pricing.

Some of the states that will offer the First Meal menu include California, Arizona, Colorado, and Texas. But not every location in these states will offer the breakfast menu.

By 2014, Taco Bell hopes to have 5,800 locations serving breakfast. Wow. That’s a lot of time and a lot of missed hungover people Taco Bell could’ve sold their Hangover Recovery Meal…I mean, First Meal to.

Image via flickr user mikebaird / CC BY 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 1/21/2012

Marvo — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Hmm…Peanut butter jelly in a slimy energy bar form or, with a few more ingredients, a form that’ll make me drunk enough to eat peanut butter jelly in a slimy energy bar form. Decisions. (via Crazy Food Dude and Food Junk)

Turns out the McDonald’s Hot Habanero sauce is as spicy as a Ronald McDonald and Wendy romance. (via An Immovable Feast)

There’s already a Big Cock Energy Drink, so of course someone had to make a Little Pussie Energy Drink. So now that this low bar has been set, I guess we just have to wait for Guarana Gangbang Go-Go Juice. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

Swedish fish…but not what many of you might be thinking of. (via Dave’s Cupboard)

NEWS: McDonald’s Oreo Cookies ‘N Creme Pie Sounds Like Something Worth Smuggling In From Canada

Marvo — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

How come Canada gets first dibs on the new McDonald’s Oreo Cookies ‘N Creme Pie?

The Oreo cookie was invented in the United States in 1912, so shouldn’t the United States also have the opportunity to consume the baked pie with a chocolate Oreo crust and sweet white filling. They say those who smelt it, dealt it. So why is it that those who forged it, can’t gorge on it?

This review of the McDonald’s Cookies ‘N Creme Pie by our friends over at So Good Blog isn’t helping me quell my jealousy.

For now, to satisfy our Oreo-flavored fast food desires, I guess we Americans are just going to have to settle for either a McDonald’s Oreo McFlurry, Burger King Oreo Brownie Sundae, Dairy Queen Oreo Blizzard, Carl’s Jr. Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich, Jack in the Box Oreo Milkshake, Wendy’s Oreo Frosty Parfait, Baskin Robbins Oreo Cookies ‘n Cream ice cream cone, or a Sonic Double Stuff Oreo Sonic Blast.

Image via flickr user MPD01605 / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: Wendy’s Testing Premium Black Label Hamburgers (Oooh, Fancy)

Marvo — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:00:00 +0000

The late journalist Christopher Hitchens considered Johnnie Walker Black Label scotch whisky to be, “The best blended Scotch in the history of the world.” Well, I’m pretty sure Wendy’s Black Label Hamburgers will never be considered the best hamburger in the history of the world.

If they end up being that good, I will eat the cardboard box they come in, which if I do eat, I hope ends up being the best cardboard hamburger container in the history of the world.

According to a Grub Grade post, the burger is being tested in Wichita, Kansas and comes in two varieties — Bacon Portabella and Spicy Santa Fe. The Bacon Portabella is made using a 1/4-pound beef patty, bacon, tomato, muenster cheese, a mushroom sauce, and a peppery sauce.

The burgers not only have a premium label, they also have the premium price of five dollars for a single patty burger.

Image via flickr user Daniel Ngu / CC BY SA 2.0

REVIEW: Whataburger Limited Batch Spicy Ketchup

Kelley — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 10:00:59 +0000

Ketchup: America’s #1 condiment.

That’s how this review was supposed to start. However, being the Journalist with Integrity that I am, I decided to actually look up America’s #1 condiment, and was surprised to find that this is not true.

Hellman’s Mayonnaise: America’s #1 condiment.

Ketchup didn’t even come in second. Tostitos Salsa did. Different brands of mayonnaise took five of the ten top grossing condiments. Heinz Ketchup took third place.

What happened, America?

Your french fries are sad. Your burgers are bummed. Your hastily put-together vampire Halloween costume is lacking that crucial blood-down-the-chin tomato touch. What are you going to do, replace that with some mayonnaise?

…don’t do that. That is a bad idea. That is how you wind up on a list that mandates you must keep your porch lights off on Halloween.

So, what happened? Has the debate of ketchup vs. catsup divided a nation, allowing mayo to take over? I can put that to rest right now. Or, rather, five minutes of internet research can. Remember, kids: Wikipedia is a totally valid source for your essays.

The word “ketchup” entered the English vernacular in the late 17th century; I won’t go much deeper into that, but it involves China and fish sauce and you’ve probably already stopped reading this sentence.

You can blame Jonathan Swift for first introducing the word “catsup” in 1730. Heads up: Jonathan Swift wanted everyone to eat poor people’s babies. He probably wanted to put catsup on them, too.

Obviously, ketchup is the correct term. If you use the word catsup, you support eating babies. I’m pretty sure baby-eaters have to turn off their porch lights on Halloween.

With etymology out of the way, what is to be done about ketchup’s decline in popularity? Well, Whataburger is doing their part to put some pep back in ketchup’s step with their new Limited Batch Spicy Ketchup. The label made me feel like I was about to peel open a tiny cup of bourbon, which I found adorable. I also like the phrase “Limited Batch”, which always makes me feel like I should save some to sell on eBay ten years from now for a price that will surely allow me to retire early and live on a giant yacht. I’m telling you, that bottle of Crystal Pepsi sitting in my closet will have me rolling in a pile of money like Scrooge McDuck.

I have to admit: ketchup is not my go-to condiment. I don’t hate it, I just think there are a lot more interesting dips and dressings out there. I’m not begging Whataburger to change my mind, but I am interested in seeing if they can take good ol’ ketchup and make it a little more dynamic.

Can you spot the Spicy? I was expecting the Spicy Limited Batch ketchup to have a different color and/or viscosity than Whataburger’s regular Fancy Ketchup, but they seemed almost identical on both fronts. There was a distinct difference in taste, however. Unlike regular ketchup, which generally has a sweet tomato taste with a vinegar finish, the Limited Batch Spicy Ketchup immediately hit with a tomato/vinegar combo and finished with a nice spicy bite (courtesy of red jalapeño pepper purée) and just a hint of that conventional ketchup sweetness.

The heat level rose nicely as I plowed through the cup with my fries. I was surprised at how much heat there was; it wasn’t to the point where it burned my mouth, but it had more heat than most fast food places would qualify as “spicy”. Fast food spicy is usually disappointing.

While I’m not usually a big fan of ketchup, I found myself enjoying Whataburger’s Limited Batch Spicy Ketchup. All the classic ketchup flavors are there – tomato, sweetness and vinegar – but they’ve been rearranged to where the vinegar played a bigger part than the sugar. The addition of the spicy heat just added another dimension that worked with all the other flavors. Regular ketchup lovers may find the vinegar too overpowering and the sweetness too muted, but someone looking for a new ketchup experience with a spicy kick will wish this batch wasn’t so limited.

Now, where’s my tiny cup of bourbon?

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container – 31 calories, 2 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 406 milligrams of sodium, 7 grams of carbs, 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Other Whataburger Limited Batch Spicy Ketchup  reviews:
Pegasus News
Eat More Heat

Item: Whataburger Limited Batch Spicy Ketchup 
Price: Free 
Size: 1 ounce cup
 Purchased at: Whataburger
 Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Has a genuine spicy kick. Rollin’ like Scrooge McDuck. Vinegar over sweetness was refreshing. Catsup-covered babies
Cons: Could be too spicy for some. Mayo being the #1 condiment. Vinegar may overwhelm classic ketchup lovers. Not an actual cup of bourbon.

NEWS: McDonald’s New Hot Habanero Sauce Could Make Your Face As Red As Ronald’s Hair, Nose, and Shoes

Marvo — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 04:56:18 +0000

According to Justin over at An Immovable Feast…well, actually, according to Justin’s brother, McDonald’s has released a new spicy habanero sauce for you to dip your McNuggets, McBites, Chicken Selects, or if you’re daring, your tongue in.

Update: Click here to read a review

Habanero chili peppers are rated 100,000-350,000 on the Scoville scale, making them more than ten times hotter than a jalapeño pepper and something you might see contestants eat on Fear Factor now that it’s back again.

This isn’t the first time a major fast food chain has tried to incorporate habanero into their menu. Last year, Carl’s Jr. tested a burger with habanero sauce. I’m not sure if McDonald’s is testing the sauce or is planning a nationwide rollout, but Southern California, where these sauces have been found, is one of areas where McDonald’s tests new menu items.

If you’ve tried the new McDonald’s Hot Habanero Sauce, let us know how frightened our mouths should be in the comments below. Also, where you found them.

Update: Pictures of the sauce in the comments below.

Image via flickr user Tom Hilton / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: McDonald’s Chicken McBites

Stephanie — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:54:27 +0000

Peer pressure is a bitch. When I was fourteen, I had my most memorable bout with peer pressure when my friends and I took turns jumping off a bridge. You heard me right. You know that old-as-dirt, parental warning “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”

Well, that bridge is real, dear reader.

And it was quite clear to me at the time that the answer was YES. There was a creek that ran through the town where I grew up, and at certain points throughout there were little footbridges. One particular bridge was about seven feet off the ground, and one day, my pals decided they would try to jump off and land on the level surface just on the edge of the creek. I was hesitant to do it since the ground was pretty muddy, and I was more than a little scared to sully my brand new jeans and awesome TLC CrazySexyCool t-shirt. You can probably see where this is going. I took a flying leap off the edge.

Long story short, the lovely ladies of TLC were soon covered in a slick of grime, dead leaves and any number of biological specimens dredged up from the creek bed. I should’ve heeded T-Boz’s warning to stick to the rivers and the lakes I was used to instead of careening like a howler monkey into certain doom. Now, I would have to go home covered in dreck and confess my bad deeds, so I was up shit creek. Literally. But like I said… peer pressure is a bitch. It can make you do things you really don’t need to do… and most importantly, probably shouldn’t do.

It is now evident that McDonald’s has also fallen victim to the sway of their fast food peers by introducing Chicken McBites. What KFC, Chick-Fil-A, Popeye’s, Sonic, and even Arby’s have already accomplished years ago, McDonald’s now feels it must also do in order to prove it isn’t … (waaaaait for it) Chicken. We all know that McDonald’s is no stranger to fried poultry, and that they are certainly capable of producing their own version of popcorn chicken. It just feels a bit like overkill when you already have McNuggets and Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips. Why would customers want smaller pieces of chicken with less meat in them? It doesn’t make any sense. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The presentation of the Chicken McBites is on point. Chicken McBites arrive hot and fresh in a very cute and well-designed paperboard container with a built-in sauce cup holder that folds back from the lid. The sauce cup holder is very clever and handy, but make sure you don’t ask for honey with your McBites like I did. The holder is not constructed to hold the shallow honey container and appears designed to grip larger dips like Sweet n’ Sour and BBQ Sauce. Order honey, and you’ll be unwittingly setting up a very cute and well-designed honey catapult.

Given that popcorn chicken is high in fat and calories and sodium, all the bad things that go against nature and your better judgment, McDonald’s has decided to offer Chicken McBites in three different sizes, so you can make the “best” worst choice possible. They sell a 4-ounce “Snack” size, a 6-ounce “Regular” size, and a 12-ounce “Shareable” size. The fact that the largest size is called “Shareable Size” is interesting – this must be McDonald’s way of saying “Don’t eat the whole thing by yourself, Fatass.” Each size is sold individually, ranging from $1.99-$4.99.

I ordered the Regular size and quickly discovered that the McBites themselves also varied in size. There were big ones and small ones. There were microscopic McBites (which could barely be called “McBites” in the first place because something that McSmall hardly required McChewing) and gargantuan McBites (that were clearly two McBites stuck together).

Like most popcorn chicken, the McBites were chewy and crispy on the outside with very generous breading. The breading was seasoned with spices that added the tiniest amount of heat. What the spices were, I do not know. The McDonald’s website says that McBites consist of “chicken breast meat” with a “savory home-style breading,” so I guess those spices can be found at home, y’all!

But let’s talk about the meat-to-breading ratio. There were scanty amounts of “breast meat” here, folks. I understand it is popcorn chicken and that popcorn chicken is mostly flour, but this was really just fried, spicy flour with a slight, somewhat chicken-flavored filling. This is what McDonald’s – the #2 Fast Food chain in the world — came up with when faced with the possibility that they’d be excluded from the popcorn chicken game? Coming in second to Subway makes them want to go out and make fried, barely-meaty chicken chunks? They just had to do something, even if that something wasn’t their best effort. Did McDonald’s even have to pretend they cared about popcorn chicken?

Chicken McBites are not yet available everywhere, but they soon will be. They’re not as good as McNuggets or the Premium Chicken Strips, but they do come in several sizes. So they’ve got that going for them. I know McDonald’s will consistently try to impress with new additions to its menu that mirror what their peers have tried before, even if it the food doesn’t turn out the best… Even if their efforts result in disaster. Someone somewhere will look at the yucky, messy results and respect that McDonald’s did it; that they tried.

(Nutrition Facts – Regular size (6 ounces) – 470 calories, 28 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 730 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 22 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Chicken McBites reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Grub Grade
Fast Food Geek

Item: Chicken McBites
Price: $2.99
Size: Regular size
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: TLC’s Waterfalls. Fried poultry. Adorable packaging. Nice, affordable prices for all three sizes. Yummy home-style seasoning. Comes with a sauce cup holder.
Cons: Peer pressure. Scanty amount of meat in each McBite. Honey catapults. Creek bed filth. Deigning to care about popcorn chicken.

NEWS: Subway Trying Out a Chipotle Beef Teriyaki & Cheese in Alaska…and Maybe Other Places

Marvo — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

The other day, Impulsive Buy reader Michelle from Alaska let me know about a new Subway sandwich she saw a commercial for — the Chipotle Beef Teriyaki & Cheese.

The combination of chipotle and teriyaki sounded really weird, so I thought she might be going crazy due to the extreme lack of daylight this time of year in Alaska, but she later emailed me with written and visual proof that this limited time only sandwich exists. So it’s Subway that might be crazy.

Here’s what Michelle thought of the sandwich:

So…just meat, cheese, sauces, and lettuce & tomato on flatbread. I think it looked pretty close to the sign sandwich. Since you get to watch the creative process (S.A. layering meat & cheese onto bread), I can tell you it went like this: bread, meat, teriyaki sauce, shredded cheese (yellow & white, so I’m assuming cheddar-jack), toaster oven, chipotle sauce, and finally, lettuce & tomato. That’s a wrap!

It tasted like what I thought: two very different sauces on a toasted steak & cheese (I’m from Philly and cannot in good conscience call this a true cheese steak). The sandwich is advertised with the phrase “sweet heat” and someone thought teriyaki & chipotle sauces were the answer here. The teriyaki does provide an underlying sweetness, and the chipotle yields the back-end kick, but the basic flavors of soy and cumin just do not make sense to me. You know, where there is soy sauce, cheese is not. Finally, it strikes me as the sandwich you’d create in college, on a dare, or while impaired…the “using every condiment in the fridge” sort of thing. Eh, maybe it was like two young lovers trying to make it work when they clearly come from two different worlds. Is there a “West Side Story” angle?

I haven’t seen the Chipotle Beef Teriyaki & Cheese being offered at Subway restaurants here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, so it might only be available in certain regions. However, the sandwich appears to made with ingredients that every Subway has, so it should be easy to reproduce. If you’ve seen it being offered at a Subway in your area, let us know in the comments.

Images provided by Michelle

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