Over the past few weeks, something disturbing has been appearing in my dreams. No matter how hard I try, it’s an image I can’t get out of my head and it’s been causing me to wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat.

No, it’s not Nancy Grace’s nipple. Although, now that I’ve brought it up, it’ll probably start materializing during my REM sleep as well.

The image that’s been appearing regularly in my dreams, and turning them into nightmares, is the woman at the end of the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger/Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich commercial who yells, “Ride that spicy chicken!” If you haven’t seen the commercial, it’s embedded below:

There’s something about her that scares me. It could be her teeth. It could be her eyebrows. It could be the way she said her line in the commercial. Or it could be the way I think her mouth is going to unhinge when she tries to eat that Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich in her hand. Whatever it is, it’s made me not want to try the Jack in the Box Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

But I figured since I already reviewed the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger, I should complete the fast food bifecta and also try the Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

The sandwich is made using a spicy crispy chicken filet topped with onion rings, cheese, hickory smoked bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, and bourbon BBQ sauce on a sesame seed bun. It uses the same chicken patty that comes with Jack’s regular Spicy Chicken Sandwich. I don’t consider the patty very spicy. To me, it has a very mild heat. It’s noticeable, but I don’t feel the need to have any cool liquids handy when I eat it.

Just like the Outlaw Burger I tried, there wasn’t a lot of BBQ sauce on my Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich, which was disappointing since it’s the best part of the sandwich. The slices of bacon were a little crispy and added some flavor, the onion rings need to be improved, and the cheese provided very little flavor. But overall, the Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich is good and I’ll be sad to see it go since it’s a limited time offer.

Actually, I take that back. I’ll be glad to see it go because that means I’ll won’t have to see the Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich commercial anymore.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 771 calories, 294 calories from fat, 32 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 82 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,859 milligrams of sodium, 648 milligrams of potassium, 80 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich
Price: $7.98 (combo)
Size: Medium combo
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Good chicken sandwich. BBQ sauce is good. It’s got vegetables. Has a nice heft to it. Good source of protein. Completing a fast food bifecta.
Cons: Spicy chicken patty not as spicy as I would like. Needs more BBQ sauce. Onion rings need to be improved. Nancy Grace’s nipple. The end of the JITB Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich commercial.

Eating the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger really does make me feel like an outlaw, if being an outlaw means not listening to the recommendations of my doctor who says I should avoid eating things like the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger.

YEEHAW!

If you happen to find yourself at a Jack in the Box, you can rustle either the Outlaw Burger, Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich, or if sodium intake is no object, both. I chose the Outlaw Burger because, according to a t-shirt I read, real outlaws eat beef. Also, according to t-shirts I’ve read, a lot of women are bitches.

YEEHAW!

The Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger is constructed using a beef patty topped with onion rings, two slices of American cheese, hickory smoked bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, and bourbon BBQ sauce on a sesame seed bun. Jack in the Box claims the Outlaw Burger is new, but I think Jack getting hit by a bus in 2009 made him forget the Outlaw Burger was originally introduced in 2006. Even though this blog was around then (when it and I were much skinnier), I never tried it.

In a previous review, I mentioned I didn’t think too highly of Jack’s bourbon BBQ sauce, but for some strange reason I like it in the Outlaw Burger. Although, I do wish the person who made my sandwich squirted on a little more BBQ sauce.

Despite the inadequate BBQ sauce squirtage and ordinary Jack in the Box beef patty, I really enjoyed the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger. There were decent-sized bacon strips, which were, surprisingly, crispy and provided a little smoky flavor. The onion rings added a bit of crunchiness, but the onion flavor could’ve been stronger. As for the two slices of American cheese…well, they allow the burger to contain four of the five USDA food groups and, looking at the photo above, they’re also the glue that prevents the onion rings and bacon from falling out of the burger.

YEEHAW!

The Outlaw Burger is probably one of the better tasting burgers Jack in the Box currently offers. Sadly, it’s only available for a limited time. So while it’s here, I’m going to ride with an Outlaw Burger, and maybe die with an Outlaw Burger.

YEEHAW!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – 725 calories, 39 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 72 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,558 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 28 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Outlaw sandwich reviews:
An Immovable Feast (Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich)

Item: Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger
Price: $7.98 (combo)
Size: Medium combo
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: One of the better tasting burgers at Jack in the Box. OMG! The bacon actually turned out decent. Bourbon BBQ sauce with this burger. Eating it makes me feel like an outlaw. YEEHAW!
Cons: Needed more BBQ sauce. Onion rings needed to bring more flavor. Not new. Contains trans fat. Great source of sodium and saturated fat. Pulling quotes from Lonesome Dove.

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger review

Update 2: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich review

Starting today, Jack in the Box will be offering two “new” sandwiches: the Outlaw Burger and the Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

Oh, what’s with the quotation marks around the word “new”?

Jack in the Box’s press release says they’re new, but this post from 2006 proves otherwise. Although, there are slight differences between the 2006 version of the Outlaw sandwiches and the 2011 versions, like the type of barbecue sauce and bacon.

This year’s versions of the Outlaw sandwiches come with either a beef patty or spicy crispy chicken fillet and topped with a bourbon barbecue sauce, lettuce, tomato, hickory-smoked bacon, American cheese, and onion rings in between a sesame seed bun.

The Outlaw Burger has 725 calories, 39 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 1,558 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, and 28 grams of protein. The Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich has 771 calories, 32 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1,859 milligrams of sodium, 80 grams of carbohydrates, and 37 grams of protein.

The Outlaw Burger and Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich are available for a limited time at your local participating Jack in the Box.

Source: Burger Business

For me, breakfast for dinner means serving myself a bowl of some cereal that’s either rainbow-colored or chocolate brown and watching on my computer, and in my pajamas, old episodes of Spongebob Squarepants I bought via iTunes. But now I can enjoy the new Jack in the Box Jumbo Breakfast Platter while I watch Spongebob Squarepants in my PJs.

Just look at the conglomeration of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins in the picture above. If that doesn’t fill you up, remind me to never treat you to self-serve frozen yogurt at places that charge by the ounce. The items in a Jumbo Breakfast Platter sound like they could replace some of the gifts in the song, “Twelve Days of Christmas.”

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
What looks like 12 scrambled eggs
11 Pipers Piping
10 Lords-a-Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Mini Pancakes
7 Swans-a-Swimming
6 Geese-a-Laying
5 Hash Brown Sticks
4 Colly Birds
3 French Hens
2 Pancake Condiments
And a greasy sausage patty.

Of course, this changes slightly if you order the Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Bacon, which I instantly decided against, because I have yet to find a fast food place that fries up decent bacon slices.

Now some of you might be thinking that this conglomeration of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins is unhealthy. But, I believe everything is fine in moderation, and the Jumbo Breakfast Platter isn’t as bad as what Burger King and McDonald’s offers. A Jumbo Jack Breakfast Platter has 747 calories, 47 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 1,168 milligrams of sodium. However, a McDonald’s Big Breakfast with Hotcakes has 1090 calories, 56 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, and 2,150 milligrams of sodium, while a BK Ultimate Breakfast Platter has 1310 calories, 72 grams of fat, 26 grams of saturated fat, and 2,490 milligrams of sodium. But, again, everything is fine in moderation, even the BK Ultimate Breakfast Platter.

As you can see in the photo above, someone at Jack in the Box doesn’t know how to make good scrambled eggs, but they tasted fine. And so did everything else. The mini pancakes were soft; the sausage patty had a wider circumference than other fast food sausage patties; and the hash browns, being in stick form, were easy to dip in ketchup. Overall, the Jumbo Breakfast Platter is a tasty, filling, and inexpensive meal. I paid $3.99 for it, but most participating locations not on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean sell it for $2.99. At either price, the Jack in the Box Jumbo Breakfast Platter is a bargain.

However, there’s a way to make it better.

Using the mini pancakes as buns, I stacked half of a hash brown stick, some of the scrambled eggs, and a fourth of the breakfast sausage patty to make a mini breakfast sandwich, which I dipped into the container of Log Cabin syrup. It was damn good and it was as if sugar and salt were consummating their marriage in my mouth.

Sadly, I won’t be able to enjoy it for very long, since Jack in the Box’s Jumbo Breakfast Platter is around for a limited time.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 breakfast platter with sausage – 747 calories, 426 calories from fat, 47 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 438 milligrams of cholesterol, 1168 milligrams of sodium, 586 milligrams of potassium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 26 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Jumbo Breakfast Platter reviews:
Brand Eating
A Fistful of Suck
Some Dude on YouTube

Item: Jack in the Box Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Sausage
Price: $3.99
Size: Lots of food
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Tasty greasy breakfast. Filling. Soft mini pancakes. Wide sausage patty. Helluva lot of scrambled eggs. A good bargain. Making mini breakfast sandwiches.
Cons: Limited time offer. Eating just a bowl of cereal for dinner. Treating people with big appetites to self-serve frozen yogurt at places that charge by the ounce.

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Sausage review

This week, Jack in the Box rolled out their Jumbo Breakfast Platter which consists of mini pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns and your choice of bacon or sausage.

Since Jack in the Box’s breakfast menu is available all day, you can order a Jumbo Breakfast Platter for lunch, dinner, or after an evening of drunken debauchery at three in the morning with the goat you have no idea how you acquired.

A Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Bacon has 657 calories, 37 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 422 milligrams of cholesterol, 1298 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 27 grams of protein. A Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Sausage has 747 calories, 47 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 438 milligrams of cholesterol, 1168 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 26 grams of protein.

The Jumbo Breakfast Platter is available for a limited time for $2.99 at participating locations. Unfortunately, those who want to get their glutton on in Kansas City, Tulsa, and Oklahoma City are SOL since the Jumbo Breakfast Platter won’t be available in those cities.

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Sausage review

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Jack in the Box is now offering a Three Taco Combo. I can’t wait for the Six Sourdough Jack Pack. (via Review Spew)

Grub Grade reviewed a bunch of natural peanut butters. It would be fitting if you looked over it while eating peanut butter. Or even better, read the review aloud with half a jar of peanut butter in your mouth. (via Grub Grade)

And I’ll see your true colors shining through. I see your true colors and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show your true colors. True colors are beautiful like a rainbow. (via Screaming Energy)

If I bought Mentos’ UP2U gum that has two flavors to choose from in each pack, I wouldn’t know which flavor to chew first. To help, I wish each pack contained a coin I could flip or the cell number for my overbearing ex-girlfriend who would tell me what to chew. (via Gum Alert)

They say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But it appears beauty can come to anyone who be holdin’ this beauty elixir in a can. (via Thirsty Dudes)