REVIEW: Krispy Kreme Churro Doughnut

Krispy Kreme Churro Doughnut

Ah, summertime.

Nothing but pool parties and crickets and Christmas in July, and, while I know I’m supposed to celebrate the mid-summer Noel on the 25th, I am a rebel, hooligan, and all-around dastardly naysayer, so it should come as no surprise that I broke all the Christmas laws and bought my present the day after.

It involved churros. I have no regrets.

Krispy Kreme Churro Doughnut 2

Krispy Kreme’s interpretation of the churro starts by going geometrically rogue, translating the fried delight from the commonly seen line into a circumference more tightly braided than Wednesday’s pigtails sent through a Glam Twirl.

The doughnut’s hefty for its size, coming doused with so much cinnamon sugar, one could ball it up and use it as sculpting clay to recreate the Sagrada Familia in edible form. And that mahogany-tinted sugar thwacks into action with cinnamon roll-like warmth, dodging the common flaw in which a cinnamon product ends up tasting like an Atomic Fireball. Instead, bites dissipate into sugary, lightly cinnamon-spiced crumbles, leaving a trace of grease behind.

That isn’t to say the doughnuts are perfect. There’s definitely a “Manufactured cake doughnut” quality to them that makes me think they put them in some Dyson vacuum dehydrator that sucks the moisture out of all that is joy. As a result, the doughnuts taste dry and a little stale, missing out on the eggy, custardy texture of a churro and its crispy, freshly fried outside.

But perhaps that’s nitpicking. Heck, even the leftovers aren’t too shabby if you get creative. Put one in the toaster and witness how it becomes a brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart crossed with a giant piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which means tonight’s dinner of doughnuts and ice cream is all sorted out.

Krispy Kreme Churro Doughnut 3

Some days, the world is unbearable. Today? Is not one of those days. Sure, this doughnut may not hold up to Statler and Waldorf’s orthodox standards of traditional churros, but what is a traditional churro? Is it eggy or airy? Custardy or crumbly? Dense or light? With cinnamon sugar? Without? Dipped in chocolate? Dipped in frosting? Dipped in nothing? Do I get them at a bar in Spain? A sidewalk vendor? Disneyland? A kazoo store?

Survey says: whichever version you love!

And while this interpretation may just be a dry-ish cake doughnut that’s been doused in cinnamon sugar, I enjoyed all 51 grams of it, especially when topped, toasted, or dunked in coffee or ice cream, so pull out the eggnog and let the Charlie Brown Christmas album play because Christmas in July comes but once a year. Let’s celebrate.

(Nutrition Facts – 190 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Krispy Kreme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Cakey. Chunked with cinnamon sugar. Does not taste like Atomic Fireball. Even better when toasted. Christmas in July. Glam Twirl. Statler and Waldorf.
Cons: Cake doughnut masquerading as churro. Pretty dry. A little too crumbly. May encourage breaking Christmas laws. Non-July Christmas is still six months away.

REVIEW: Krispy Kreme Carrot Cake Doughnut

Krispy Kreme Carrot Cake Doughnut

Advice to my 3-year-old self from the future:

1) Don’t put Barbie in the microwave.
2) Alistair Cookie is your mentor. Watch him. Glean from him many morals.
3) Remember: Play-Doh hamburgers are not actual hamburgers, even when you dip them in Ranch dressing.

Somewhere down this list, I’d probably put, “Try, just try, to eat your carrots.” While I always liked my broccoli, it’s the carrots that gave me grief as a kid. They’re sweet, but stringy. Woodsy, but super “orange-y.” Absolutely mushy when overcooked, but slap me sideways when done right. I hate them. But I love them.

So I’m celebrating my love/hate relationship. And celebrations demand sugar and sugar demands cake and cake demands to be deep-fried. That’s the scientific chain of events, right?

Well, that’s what Krispy Kreme thinks with their newest iteration on deep-fried toroids, all gussied up to resemble carrot cake.

Krispy Kreme Carrot Cake Doughnut Deep fried cake of vegetables

Devotees of the dense cake doughnut, celebrate: this dough is a solid cake specimen, sturdy enough for the deepest dip in your tea/coffee/milkshake. While perhaps a smidge dry, it’s chock full of a cinnamon-sugar-honey sweetness accompanied by specks of raisin nibs and carrot shreds that give it a little zing. Said carrot and raisin nibbles may not be abundant in number, but are present enough to add their trademark sweetness without making the doughnut taste like Old McDonald’s Farm.

And the frosting. It’s everywhere. On the doughnut. On my fingers. On my elbows (how did it get there?). I love it. The film of cream-cheesish frosting/glaze on top is a smidge tangy, but mostly adds a sugary sweetness that rounds out the out-of-season (but still delicious) blend of fall spices. There’s even a sheen of regular sugar glaze beneath the cream cheese icing for extra sweetness. All this melted sugar leaves a slight film of oil and glaze on your hands, but, so long as you have some napkins and don’t wear neatly pressed white linen gloves all the time, this shouldn’t be a problem.*

*I just realized: Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny will both have this problem. Take off your gloves, guys!

What’s better is, as you make your way to the center, you uncover the crispy little bit in the middle of the doughnut’s ring. You know what I’m talking about. It’s that ring where the doughnut hole was carved out. It’s crunchy, sweet, gooped with frosting, just on the cusp of being burnt. My favorite. This is why I spend them dolla dolla bills.

Krispy Kreme Carrot Cake Doughnut Yes, that is a mug from the Museum of the History of Tow Trucks

In an unofficial endorsement of the food pyramid, Krispy Kreme is providing you with a prime opportunity to overachieve in your life by consuming both fruit (raisins) and vegetables (carrots) via cake.

Unless my taste buds are undergoing some sort of reverse trauma from a hyperglycemic fit, the end result was tasty: the cake was cinnamon-y, the carrots were present without being stringy or overbearingly “orange-y,” the cinnamon and nutmeg gave some subtle spice, there was deep-frying going on, a few raisins splattered here and there added chewiness, and the tangy frosting added some cheesy zing. I may have even detected a hint of citrus zest in there? Oh, Krispy, you sneaky, conniving, brilliant conglomeration. Not a perfect ‘nut, but pretty good.

(Nutrition Facts – 340 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 35 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Krispy Kreme Carrot Cake Doughnut
Purchased Price: $1.10
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Krispy Kreme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Solid cinnamon cakey goodness. Deep-fried. Cream cheese icing. Sugary glaze. Chewy raisin bits. Good for dipping. Fulfilling fruit/vegetable requirement via cake. Morals gleaned from Alistair Cookie.
Cons: Cake gets a little oily. Could maybe use more carrots/raisins. Crestfallen pineapple lovers. Reflecting on the foolishness of my three-year-old self. Consequences of putting Barbie in the microwave.

NEWS: Krispy Kreme Releases Unimaginative County Fair Fare Flavored Doughnuts

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Sign

Really, Krispy Kreme?

Caramel apple and cotton candy flavored doughnuts? Is that the best Krispy Kreme can come up with to represent the great county fairs across our great nation? No one goes to county fairs for caramel apples and cotton candy.

Today, county fairs are all about (cue heavy metal guitar riffs) deep fried candy, cookies, vegetables, sandwiches, breakfast cereals, and processed meats. Yeow! (end heavy metal guitar riffs)

Krispy Kreme’s Caramel Apple Cake Doughnut is a glazed, apple-flavored cake doughnut that’s topped with caramel icing. The Cotton Candy Doughnut is an Original Glazed doughnut dipped in blue cotton candy sugar.

Both will be available at participating Krispy Kreme locations from August 20-September 30.

Source: QSR Magazine

NEWS: Krispy Kreme Brews New Coffee, Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts Pretend To Shake In Their Boots

Krispy Kreme

Although I love caffeine, I’m not a coffee person because coffee farts turn me off to the stuff. But if you enjoy a freshly brewed cup of java and you happen to find yourself at a Krispy Kreme (and you’re too lazy to drive to the nearest Starbucks), they’re offering a brand new coffee lineup. Krispy Kreme’s new Signature Coffee comes in three varieties:

Krispy Kreme Signature House Blend – a blend of South and Central American coffee

Krispy Kreme Signature Dark Roast – a blend of African, Indonesian, and Central American coffee beans

Krispy Kreme Signature House Decaf – a Central and South American decaffeinated blend

All three varieties are made using 100% Arabica beans. A cup of Krispy Kreme’s new coffee retails for $1.72 for a small, $1.93 for a medium, and $2.04 for a large.

Source: Nation’s Restaurant News

THE WEEK IN REVIEWS – 7/17/2010

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we like.

There’s an energy drink that comes in a bottle that looks like a fire extinguisher. Does it also come in a bigger size that looks like a fire hydrant? (via Caffeine-A-Holic)

Dr Pepper with real sugar isn’t really impressive. But Dr Pepper curing an illness would be. (via Gigi Reviews)

Japan now has Orange M&M’s. It makes sense since Japan is also known for having people with orange hair. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

Necco knows how to tug at the tummies of little girls with their Twilight Sweethearts candies, which have saying like “Bite Me”, “Live 4 Ever” and “Team EC” printed on them. I thought Sweethearts candies were gross by themselves, but it turns out, with the right sayings on them, they get even more disgusting. (via Candyblog)

Krispy Kreme has a Limited Edition Cheerwine Kreme Filled Doughnut. I have no clue what Cheerwine is and I’m too lazy to look it up on Wikipedia, so I’m going to assume, if I drink it, it will turn my face red and make a drunk Lindsay Lohan appear to be better looking than she really is. (via Hamburger Calculus)

NEWS: Krispy Kreme Minis Makes Doughnut Dining a Little Lighter

This week, Krispy Kreme introduced a line of mini doughnuts that have all the sweet, addictive goodness of their regular doughnuts, but at half the size. The mini doughnuts come in three varieties: original glazed, chocolate glazed and chocolate glazed with sprinkles.

Why did you have to do this Krispy Kreme? It’s so hard to prevent myself from eating just one of your regular doughnuts. Sure it’s probably a way to help sell your doughnuts during these hard economic times, but if I eat one of your mini doughnuts, I’ll think it’ll be okay to stuff my face with another since two of them would equal about one of your regular doughnuts. Unfortunately that extra doughnut could lead to a domino effect, which could cause me to go through an entire box faster than one left in the middle of a police station’s break room.

Thank goodness the only Krispy Kreme location in this state is on another island.