REVIEW: McDonald’s Fried Guava Pie

McDonald’s Fried Guava Pie

Two things you should know about McDonald’s pies in Hawaii.

  1. They’re fried. Hawaii is one of the few places in the United States that offers fried McDonald’s pies. (Oddly, we are also the healthiest state in the country.)
  2. We have local seasonal pie flavors many of you would call “exotic.” The Haupia Pie features a coconut-flavored filling with gelatinous pieces and the Taro Pie has a purple filling with gelatinous cubes.

McDonald’s Hawaii’s newest fried pie doesn’t have jellylike cubes, but it does have a thick guava-flavored filling. To be honest, I’m surprised our local McDonald’s didn’t come out with a guava pie sooner because guava is our state fruit.

And if you look that up on the internet, you’ll learn it’s not. But we use the fruit in enough products that it should be.

Even though we love the tropical fruit, the 50th state can’t brag about it being the first one to have McDonald’s guava pies. Florida can claim that fact that no one from there will brag about. Although, not to brag, theirs was baked.

The exterior of the Fried Guava Pie looks like the skin of someone who was in a freak chemistry laboratory accident. But, man, that bubbly skin is crispy like the best fried chicken you’ve ever had. It has a level of crispiness that you wish McDonald’s chicken filets, patties, and McNuggets had.

McDonald’s Fried Guava Pie 2

The viscous pink filling has a flavor that reminds me of the canned guava nectar I drank as a kid, but warm. Perhaps, too warm (and maybe a bit too sweet). My taste buds are so used to having that delicious flavor ice cold that it’s weird to taste it at a higher temperature. It’s like drinking warm soda. Also, a few chomps had a sweet chemical zing to them. It was a turnoff to my taste buds, but it wasn’t in every bite so it didn’t prevent me from eating the whole pie.

Haupia and taro are foods I don’t eat, but love them when in the form of McDonald’s fried pies. With guava and McDonald’s Fried Guava Pie, it’s the opposite.

(Nutrition Facts – 210 calories 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Flavor reminds me of canned guava nectar. Super crispy shell. Fried pies.
Cons: Occasional chemical bite. It’s weird tasting a flavor I usually consume cold. Regional pie variety. Wikipedia saying Hawaii’s state muffin is the coconut muffin.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Mac Jr.

McDonald's Mac Jr.

When I was sharing the news that McDonald’s now has a Mac Jr. with a co-worker (side note: we’re marketers, so creativity is always on the brain), we both deemed it a lack of innovation on Mickey D’s part for calling it Jr. since so many other chains Jr.-ize their burgers.

Personally, I think it should be called the Baby Mac. So much so, in fact, that I’ve had to stop myself from writing Baby instead of Jr. several times already.

McDonald's Mac Jr. 3

But lack of creativity in the name is not what I’m here to judge, so let me tell you about the size and the flavor. While the good old Big Mac has two meat patties, you’ll find just one on the limited time only Mac Jr. From bottom to top, the burger was built as so: Bun, cheese, meat, pickle, onion (very little onion on mine), lettuce, Big Mac sauce and bun.

I’m going to have to agree with Leonard here, I wish the meat was more prevalent in size. Because the patty was so thin, it left me wanting more. (Thank goodness I also picked up an Oreo McFlurry. Purchase price? $1.99 for a snack size.) I easily polished off the burger without feeling completely satisfied.

McDonald's Mac Jr. 4

But that being said, the taste was on point. There was a great ratio of cheese to meat, and the pickles were fresh and crunchy. And the sauce? Oh, the Big Mac sauce. My only gripe is that my friendly McDonald’s Mac Jr. assembler was a little heavy-handed on the sauce. As soon as I unwrapped the paper, it was oozing out of the sides. Delicious and warm, but slightly too much. I think this is the case where it’s just a tad too much of a good thing.

McDonald's Mac Jr. 5

If you’re in the mood for the Baby Mac, err… Mac Jr., you won’t be disappointed in flavor. McDonald’s definitely gets that right. However, I caution to you add some fries or that beautiful, sweet McFlurry if you’re looking for a complete meal but don’t want the extra meat and bun of a Big Mac or Grand Mac.

(Nutrition Facts – 460 calories, 240 calories from fat, 27 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 830 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 21 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Cost is less than my morning coffee order. It’s the adorable little sibling of the Mac family.
Cons: Pretty thin meat patty, a bit too much sauce (but is that really a problem?)

REVIEW: McDonald’s Chocolate Shamrock Shake

McDonald's Chocolate Shamrock Shake

It’s that time of the year again, lads and lasses. St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner.

You know what that means. It’s time to drink! Drink like you’ve never drank before. Drunk like you’ve never dronk before! Just dance a lil’ jig and drink!

Drink what? Jameson? Guinness? Come on, guys! This is a family site. Drink McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes!

Unless you got beat with the stupid shillelagh, or have been living under the Blarney Stone, a Shamrock Shake is a mixture of reduced fat (lol) vanilla ice cream, mint flavored “Shamrock” syrup and green sugar crystals. The result is a light green minty spin on a standard McDonald’s vanilla shake, and like the weed it borrows its name from, we’re lucky to have it.

From this point forward, I’ll try to keep this review short of stereotypical Irish things. Leprechaun. The Boston Celtics. Corn beef. Sully. Murph. Go Sox! Ok, starting now.

This year marks the expansion of the famous Shamrock Shake line. Not only is the original back, but McDonald’s has released four new drinks under their McCafe label. With shakes, fraps and hot cocoa choices to choose from, I opted for the Chocolate Shamrock Shake.

I can’t remember the last time I had a chocolate shake. It’s been ages. I guess I’ve just been subconsciously holding out for McDonalds to get frisky and cross pollinate their chocolate shake with my all time favorite item they offer, the Shamrock Shake. Seriously, I’m a Shamrock Shake junkie. If a group of nutjobs traveled the country for this like they did for the McRib, I’d consider abandoning my life and hitching a ride.

McDonald's Chocolate Shamrock Shake 2

Like I mentioned above, the shake had the familiar green pastel like color, with a couple of brown blotches. It looked nothing like the press release photo that had the two colors perfectly halved in a cup, but what fast food ever looks like the press release photo?

Chocolate and mint were noticeable on the nose, even though the shake itself was buried under a mountain of “whipped topping.” I always forget to ask for no “whipped topping.” Don’t get me wrong, I like phony whipped cream, but sometimes it’s completely unnecessary. I don’t need a maraschino cherry either. I always let it sink, and forcefully suck it into my straw when I somehow forget it’s there. I’d suggest just skipping the toppings and letting the mint and chocolate shine.

Speaking of mint and chocolate, whenever something has those flavor profiles, reviewers seem to default to, “Ummm, It tasted like Andes Mints.” Well, in this case, I’m gonna default as well. This shake instantly put me in mind of those after dinner mints. The familiar – in no way overpowering – cool mintiness of the Shamrock was the more powerful of the two flavors, but the chocolate definitely added a perfect new element.

McDonald's Chocolate Shamrock Shake 3

As I chugged on, the colors melted together into a delicious camouflage. Well, they would have if I gave them much of a chance to melt. I drank it so quick, I considered calling Guinness, not Guinness as in “Irish stout,” but Guinness as in “Book of World Records.” Ripley’s won’t return my phone calls. Long story.

The last few sips actually flip-flopped and were stronger on the chocolate, but I’m not complaining. When, and it’s only a question of when, I get this again, I’ll opt out of the whipped topping, and give it a few spoon swirls just to make sure the flavors are distributed properly.

You have until March 24th to give this a try. Get shakin’.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces – 610 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 78 grams of carbohydrates, 84 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Medium (15 oz.)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Delicious harmony of mint and chocolate. February and March are the best McDonald’s months of the year. No brain freeze. McRib disciples. A happy and healthy St. Patrick’s Day.
Cons: Whipped Topping and plastic cherry are unnecessary. Could’ve probably been blended a bit better. Limited availability. McDonald’s suddenly giving all new drinks the fancy “McCafe” moniker. Sat fats. 84 grams of sugar!

REVIEW: McDonald’s Grand Mac

McDonald's Grand Mac

Do you see that party over there? It’s an LTO (limited time offer) party and I see the King from Burger King and the chihuahua from Taco Bell absolutely going crazy and for what seems like forever. Oh, and who’s that I see over there making a fashionably late entrance? WHY IT’S RONALD MCDONALD WITH TWO NEW BURGERS!

Welcome to the party, McDonald’s! Glad to see you here even if it is for just two size variations of your top performer.

McDonald's Grand Mac 6

The burgers are siblings to McDonald’s signature item the Big Mac, one of which is called the Grand Mac. Thinking about the name, though, a Grande at Starbucks is a medium and if you translate grand from French it means “big,” so jeez McDonald’s this is confusing.

McDonald's Grand Mac 3

I got a regular Big Mac too just so I could see the difference. And if the package wasn’t warning enough (you’re gonna need two hands), you truly see the magnitude when you open the box. This thing is big! Actually, scratch that since it’s confusing. It’s huge!

McDonald's Grand Mac 4

It’s definitely larger than its star sibling but not so much in height. However, getting a bird’s eye view is simply breathtaking as you compare the diameters of the two sesame seed buns.

McDonald's Grand Mac 5

The taste is right on point with the Big Mac as the usual components are there in all their glory. The lettuce, onions, and pickles add some really nice crunch while the cheese is a sort of middle ground in texture to marry up all the different components, which it does so beautifully. However, the star here is the Big Mac sauce, which is as it should be. It’s the flavor you know and love, both creamy and delicious in full force. If you absolutely love the Big Mac but usually finish it without feeling as full as you’d like then the Grand Mac is for you.

The one disappointment I had were with the meat patties. The taste was fine but they were a bit too thin for me considering everything else that was going on. So, here’s to hoping McDonald’s has another option in the works. I even mocked one up using the gloriously sized patties from a Double Quarter Pounder. Drive-thru patrons of America? The Hamburglar? The enormous gigantic Jumbo Mac has arrived…

McDonald's Grand Mac 2

(Nutrition Facts – 860 calories, 470 calories from fat, 52 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 140 milligrams of cholesterol, 1470 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 41 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.00
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A truly super-sized Big Mac experience. Ronald McDonald partying with the King and a chihuahua. Packaging warnings that actually hold true.
Cons: Meat patties that are underwhelming. The French translation of Grand Mac is Big Mac.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Chicken McGriddle

McDonald's Chicken McGriddle

McDonald’s has been stuck in a rut. The clown king of fast food may still push billions of burgers a year, but a dipping sales trend and changing cultural attitudes have investors shaken. Attempts to produce higher-end burgers have flopped, leaving the Golden Arches with few options.

But in a sea of dry mozzarella sticks and sexy Hamburglars, one promotion was an undeniable hit. All-Day Breakfast broke the morning menu free from a 10:30 a.m. cutoff, and brought the Golden Arches a much-needed PR win.

So it wasn’t long before cross pollination of the breakfast and dinner menus began, and bore fruit.

McDonald's Chicken McGriddle 2

Currently available in select markets as part of a 2 for $3 promotion, the Chicken McGriddle is hilariously basic. It’s a standard McChicken patty, slapped between the syrup-infused McGriddle buns. No condiments, no cheese, nothing but what the name promises. A sweet and savory hybrid, echoing the ‘Chicken and Waffles’ pairing that headlines so many late-night food porn binge sessions on the Food Network. But in practice this sandwich is too simple to offer anything but novelty.

The issue is that McGriddle buns aren’t quite sweet enough to harmonize with the chicken. When getting a plate of fried chicken and waffles, it’s common to see fried breasts smothered in sweet maple syrup. The Chicken McGriddle has only a few artificial pockets of maple brown sugar to offset a peppery chicken patty.

You’ll get a nice sweet hit at first, and cinnamon taste that lingers on the tongue – but the meat of the bite is all about the chicken. I found myself longing for some sort of maple spread, or even a slice of cheese. Anything to give the sweet side more of a leg to stand on.

McDonald's Chicken McGriddle 3

It’s hard to understand where the Chicken McGriddle fits into the average McDonald’s order. The taste it leaves behind is too sweet for a large soda, but far too heavily seasoned for coffee. It’s not going to fit in at breakfast, but seems too simplistic for lunch. As such, it makes sense for this to be part of a combo promotion. Paired with a Double Cheeseburger or Spicy McChicken, it works as an interesting novelty. Failed experiment or not, it’s worth it to see McDonalds trying something undeniably odd.

(Nutrition Facts – 390 calories, 130 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1000 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: 2 for $3
Size: N/A
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Unique offering by McDonald’s standards. Cheap enough to try on a whim. Watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives at 4 a.m. while not wearing pants.
Cons: Not sweet enough to offset the savory. Hard to pair with a beverage. Very bland.