Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Hmm…Peanut butter jelly in a slimy energy bar form or, with a few more ingredients, a form that’ll make me drunk enough to eat peanut butter jelly in a slimy energy bar form. Decisions. (via Crazy Food Dude and Food Junk)

Turns out the McDonald’s Hot Habanero sauce is as spicy as a Ronald McDonald and Wendy romance. (via An Immovable Feast)

There’s already a Big Cock Energy Drink, so of course someone had to make a Little Pussie Energy Drink. So now that this low bar has been set, I guess we just have to wait for Guarana Gangbang Go-Go Juice. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

Swedish fish…but not what many of you might be thinking of. (via Dave’s Cupboard)

How come Canada gets first dibs on the new McDonald’s Oreo Cookies ‘N Creme Pie?

The Oreo cookie was invented in the United States in 1912, so shouldn’t the United States also have the opportunity to consume the baked pie with a chocolate Oreo crust and sweet white filling. They say those who smelt it, dealt it. So why is it that those who forged it, can’t gorge on it?

This review of the McDonald’s Cookies ‘N Creme Pie by our friends over at So Good Blog isn’t helping me quell my jealousy.

For now, to satisfy our Oreo-flavored fast food desires, I guess we Americans are just going to have to settle for either a McDonald’s Oreo McFlurry, Burger King Oreo Brownie Sundae, Dairy Queen Oreo Blizzard, Carl’s Jr. Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich, Jack in the Box Oreo Milkshake, Wendy’s Oreo Frosty Parfait, Baskin Robbins Oreo Cookies ‘n Cream ice cream cone, or a Sonic Double Stuff Oreo Sonic Blast.

According to Justin over at An Immovable Feast…well, actually, according to Justin’s brother, McDonald’s has released a new spicy habanero sauce for you to dip your McNuggets, McBites, Chicken Selects, or if you’re daring, your tongue in.

Update: Click here to read a review

Habanero chili peppers are rated 100,000-350,000 on the Scoville scale, making them more than ten times hotter than a jalapeño pepper and something you might see contestants eat on Fear Factor now that it’s back again.

This isn’t the first time a major fast food chain has tried to incorporate habanero into their menu. Last year, Carl’s Jr. tested a burger with habanero sauce. I’m not sure if McDonald’s is testing the sauce or is planning a nationwide rollout, but Southern California, where these sauces have been found, is one of areas where McDonald’s tests new menu items.

If you’ve tried the new McDonald’s Hot Habanero Sauce, let us know how frightened our mouths should be in the comments below. Also, where you found them.

Update: Pictures of the sauce in the comments below.

Peer pressure is a bitch. When I was fourteen, I had my most memorable bout with peer pressure when my friends and I took turns jumping off a bridge. You heard me right. You know that old-as-dirt, parental warning “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”

Well, that bridge is real, dear reader.

And it was quite clear to me at the time that the answer was YES. There was a creek that ran through the town where I grew up, and at certain points throughout there were little footbridges. One particular bridge was about seven feet off the ground, and one day, my pals decided they would try to jump off and land on the level surface just on the edge of the creek. I was hesitant to do it since the ground was pretty muddy, and I was more than a little scared to sully my brand new jeans and awesome TLC CrazySexyCool t-shirt. You can probably see where this is going. I took a flying leap off the edge.

Long story short, the lovely ladies of TLC were soon covered in a slick of grime, dead leaves and any number of biological specimens dredged up from the creek bed. I should’ve heeded T-Boz’s warning to stick to the rivers and the lakes I was used to instead of careening like a howler monkey into certain doom. Now, I would have to go home covered in dreck and confess my bad deeds, so I was up shit creek. Literally. But like I said… peer pressure is a bitch. It can make you do things you really don’t need to do… and most importantly, probably shouldn’t do.

It is now evident that McDonald’s has also fallen victim to the sway of their fast food peers by introducing Chicken McBites. What KFC, Chick-Fil-A, Popeye’s, Sonic, and even Arby’s have already accomplished years ago, McDonald’s now feels it must also do in order to prove it isn’t … (waaaaait for it) Chicken. We all know that McDonald’s is no stranger to fried poultry, and that they are certainly capable of producing their own version of popcorn chicken. It just feels a bit like overkill when you already have McNuggets and Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips. Why would customers want smaller pieces of chicken with less meat in them? It doesn’t make any sense. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The presentation of the Chicken McBites is on point. Chicken McBites arrive hot and fresh in a very cute and well-designed paperboard container with a built-in sauce cup holder that folds back from the lid. The sauce cup holder is very clever and handy, but make sure you don’t ask for honey with your McBites like I did. The holder is not constructed to hold the shallow honey container and appears designed to grip larger dips like Sweet n’ Sour and BBQ Sauce. Order honey, and you’ll be unwittingly setting up a very cute and well-designed honey catapult.

Given that popcorn chicken is high in fat and calories and sodium, all the bad things that go against nature and your better judgment, McDonald’s has decided to offer Chicken McBites in three different sizes, so you can make the “best” worst choice possible. They sell a 4-ounce “Snack” size, a 6-ounce “Regular” size, and a 12-ounce “Shareable” size. The fact that the largest size is called “Shareable Size” is interesting – this must be McDonald’s way of saying “Don’t eat the whole thing by yourself, Fatass.” Each size is sold individually, ranging from $1.99-$4.99.

I ordered the Regular size and quickly discovered that the McBites themselves also varied in size. There were big ones and small ones. There were microscopic McBites (which could barely be called “McBites” in the first place because something that McSmall hardly required McChewing) and gargantuan McBites (that were clearly two McBites stuck together).

Like most popcorn chicken, the McBites were chewy and crispy on the outside with very generous breading. The breading was seasoned with spices that added the tiniest amount of heat. What the spices were, I do not know. The McDonald’s website says that McBites consist of “chicken breast meat” with a “savory home-style breading,” so I guess those spices can be found at home, y’all!

But let’s talk about the meat-to-breading ratio. There were scanty amounts of “breast meat” here, folks. I understand it is popcorn chicken and that popcorn chicken is mostly flour, but this was really just fried, spicy flour with a slight, somewhat chicken-flavored filling. This is what McDonald’s – the #2 Fast Food chain in the world — came up with when faced with the possibility that they’d be excluded from the popcorn chicken game? Coming in second to Subway makes them want to go out and make fried, barely-meaty chicken chunks? They just had to do something, even if that something wasn’t their best effort. Did McDonald’s even have to pretend they cared about popcorn chicken?

Chicken McBites are not yet available everywhere, but they soon will be. They’re not as good as McNuggets or the Premium Chicken Strips, but they do come in several sizes. So they’ve got that going for them. I know McDonald’s will consistently try to impress with new additions to its menu that mirror what their peers have tried before, even if it the food doesn’t turn out the best… Even if their efforts result in disaster. Someone somewhere will look at the yucky, messy results and respect that McDonald’s did it; that they tried.

(Nutrition Facts – Regular size (6 ounces) – 470 calories, 28 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 730 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 22 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Chicken McBites reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Grub Grade
Fast Food Geek

Item: Chicken McBites
Price: $2.99
Size: Regular size
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: TLC’s Waterfalls. Fried poultry. Adorable packaging. Nice, affordable prices for all three sizes. Yummy home-style seasoning. Comes with a sauce cup holder.
Cons: Peer pressure. Scanty amount of meat in each McBite. Honey catapults. Creek bed filth. Deigning to care about popcorn chicken.

I own this amazing pair of sleek, light-as-a-feather pants that changed my attitude about what pants could be. I knew that I had to buy them when the changing room attendant began to wax poetic about her own pair that was waiting for her at home after a long day at work. These pants had it all: comfort, good taste, and style. I would not be embarrassed to be seen wearing them in public, unlike other “comfortable pants” I happen to own … (I’m looking at you faded high school gym sweatpants). The price was a little steep, but I knew I was making a good investment on these heavenly pants.

I recently discovered that the same could be said for McDonald’s new Apple Cinnamon Walnut Oatmeal. Since it’s the latest in a long line of fast food establishment oatmeal initiatives, it’s certainly fashionable, and since it is only available in a few markets right now, it’s something you can brag about to friends (if you’re in the habit of bragging about what you ate… which is pretty ridiculous, so please don’t.)

The Apple Cinnamon Walnut oatmeal also costs more than you’d want to pay for instant oatmeal, but you knew what you were getting into when you pulled your car into a McDonald’s drive-through for breakfast, instead of boiling some water and tearing open a packet of Quaker Instant, so shut your mouth.

The oatmeal itself is pretty hearty. When you receive it, it’s already filled with generous chunks of apples (different types of apples, I may add) and thickened with light cream. In fact, if it weren’t for the delicious cinnamon flavor of the rolled oats and the accompanying packet of chopped walnuts you have to add in yourself, this oatmeal would be almost the same as the Fruit & Maple version, minus the dried cranberries and raisins. Even the McDonald’s where I bought my Apple Cinnamon Walnut Oatmeal got confused and handed me the older variety without so much as a blink… I mean, I understand the two oatmeal varieties look sort of the same, but you’d think there would be safeguards in place… Oh, wait, never mind, this is McDonald’s during the breakfast rush, not NASA. If someone’s headed for a burst O-Ring it would probably be the dudes in the headsets who don’t make eighty grand.

The Apple Cinnamon Walnut Oatmeal is warm, filling and tasty, but the only thing that keeps it from getting a higher rating from me is the presentation. Seriously, it looks very unappetizing. When they first give it to you, the cream hasn’t really seeped into the oats, so it leaves a thin, cloudy layer of liquid at the top. Not cute. You really have to stir it up a bit to give it a more natural-looking (and non-disgusting) appearance. It’s confusing to the senses.

The oatmeal smells wonderful, and the container is hot and inviting, but it looks like baby food … after the baby has eaten it and spit it back up. As we’ve already seen with the Fruit & Maple Oatmeal, it’s not guaranteed that every McDonald’s location will serve its oatmeal in this horrible fashion. Just be prepared to be a little frightened by the oatmeal straight off, give it a good stir and enjoy. Hopefully in some comfortable and stylish pants.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bowl – 270 calories, 8 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Apple Cinnamon Walnut Oatmeal reviews:
Brand Eating
Serious Eats

Item: McDonald’s Apple Cinnamon Walnut Oatmeal
Price: $2.19
Size: 1 bowl
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Oatmeal initiatives. Generous amount of apple chunks. Delicious cinnamon flavor. NASA. Heavenly pants.
Cons: Can be easily mistaken for the Fruit & Maple version by non-NASA employees. Only available in limited markets. Must mix in the chopped walnuts on your own. Oatmeal’s presentation can be likened to baby vomit.

They say bacon makes most things better, but I believe the same can also be said of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. (See here, here, and here.)

Blending Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups with soft serve ice cream to create the limited time only McDonald’s McFlurry with Reese’s sounds like McMagic.

By the way, McMagic is quicker and cheaper than regular magic, and if you use it too much, you’ll get fat.

To be honest, I thought the McFlurry with Reese’s was on McDonald’s menu all this time, which I guess shows how often I eat a McFlurry. After accidentally Googling McFluffy and then correctly Googling McFlurry, I learned the McFlurry with Reese’s is somewhat similar to the McRib in that it comes back every so often, people have created Facebook pages dedicated to it, and they both don’t have bones.

While I don’t really care for the McRib, I did enjoy the McFlurry with Reese’s.

If you look at the pictures, the McFlurry is topped with what appears to be a generous heaping of crushed Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and that crushed candy gives the dessert a wonderful peanut butter and chocolate flavor. However, even after mixing the McFlurry, the bottom fourth of it had very little candy pieces, and I was left eating what was pretty much just vanilla soft serve.

Also, there’s something else I noticed about the peanut butter cup bits. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups have a distinct peanut butter flavor, but I didn’t quite taste it in this fast food dessert. It’s as if the vanilla soft serve ice cream is a flavor vampire.

But, again, I did enjoy the McDonald’s McFlurry with Reese’s. It’s a satisfying dessert and I definitely prefer it over another limited time only McFlurry variety — the Rolo McFlurry. I can taste why people will take the time to set up and manage a Reese’s McFlurry Facebook fan page.

Now, of course, this begs the question, if people love them so much, why doesn’t McDonald’s permanently add the McFlurry with Reese’s to their menu? Because it’s not as if its availability is based on pork prices. There’s a lot of soft serve ice cream and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in the world.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounce cup – 610 calories, 220 calories from fat, 25 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 85 grams of carbohydrates, 77 grams of sugar, 4 grams of fiber, and 15 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s McFlurry with Reese’s reviews
Brand Eating
Would I Buy It Again

Item: McDonald’s McFlurry with Reese’s
Price: $2.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful peanut butter and chocolate flavor. Satisfying dessert. Nice small bits of peanut butter cups. Decent source of fiber. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups make almost everything better. I now know what McFluffys are. No bones.
Cons: Only available for a limited time. Not a permanent menu item. Contains trans fat. Could not really taste the peanut flavor from Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Not enough crushed peanut butter cups. Performing too much McMagic.