When I saw the marketing photos of McDonald’s new Egg White Delight, I thought it looked as if someone took a photo of a regular McDonald’s Egg McMuffin and then added a sepia tone or an Instagram photo filter to it. Thanks to its egg whites, white cheddar cheese, and Canadian bacon on a whole grain English muffin, the breakfast sandwich doesn’t have much color.

The Egg McMuffin is the healthiest McDonald’s breakfast sandwich. Well, WAS the healthiest because the Egg White Delight is being marketed as a healthier-for-you Egg McMuffin. A regular Egg McMuffin has 300 calories 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 260 milligrams of cholesterol, 780 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of fiber, and 18 grams of protein. An Egg White Delight has 250 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 800 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of fiber, and 18 grams of protein.

Hmm, 40 percent less fat, 90 percent less cholesterol, and 50 fewer calories? Sounds like it’s going to be 40 percent less fun, 90 percent less contentment, and 50 fewer satisfying chews. But, surprisingly, the Egg White Delight was kind of nice.

There’s a noticeable flavor difference between the two breakfast sandwiches. With the Egg McMuffin, the egg and cheese stand out more, but with the Egg White Delight, I thought the Canadian bacon and cheese were front and center. The egg whites do have a little flavor, but they mostly freak me out because they look like a pale lettuce leaf that was peeled from the inner most layers of a lettuce head.

I’m glad the Canadian bacon’s flavor shines through in the Egg White Delight because in the Egg McMuffin the Canadian bacon is being…well, Canadian. It’s being nice and letting the egg and cheese be at the forefront. The lean meat’s saltiness does well with the saltiness and flavor of the white cheddar. As for the English muffin, just like most Egg McMuffins I’ve had, it has crispy edges and does a wonderful job with containing the sandwich, making sure nothing falls out.

The white cheddar, which was also used on McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger, has a slightly better flavor than the orange American cheese. Or my taste buds feel that way because they’re tired of eating the orange stuff with Big Macs and McDoubles and are happy about the change. While the white cheddar is slightly better tasting, it doesn’t melt as well as the American cheese slices. Any part of the cheese that was caressed by the warmth of the toasted English muffin, egg whites, and Canadian bacon was somewhat melted. But any part of the cheese that stuck out of the sandwich was hard.

I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed the McDonald’s Egg White Delight because I thought it was going to taste as awful as their McLean Deluxe. But then again, maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised because I’m used to eating egg whites and egg substitutes. So I guess all I have to say is:

Gonna buy that baby, gonna take a bite,
gonna grab some Egg White Delight.
My motto’s always been; if it’s lite, it might be all right.
Why eat something that could make your pants tight.
When you may chew on something healthier to start your day.
And they help compensate for the hash browns anyway.

10:30 AM isn’t in sight. Egg White Delight. Egg White Delight.

(Nutrition Facts – 250 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 800 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, 5 grams of fiber, 18 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 25% calcium, and 10% iron.)

Other McDonald’s Egg White Delight reviews:
Grub Grade
Fast Food Geek
Food Chain Review

Item: McDonald’s Egg White Delight McMuffin
Purchased Price: $3.89 (The price is higher than you’ll probably pay because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Canadian bacon and cheese stand out. As good as an Egg McMuffin. It’s healthier than an Egg McMuffin. Toasted English muffin with slightly crispy edges. Afternoon Delight.
Cons: Cheese doesn’t melt very well. Doesn’t have much color; looks like someone put an Instagram filter on it. Egg looks like pale lettuce. McLean Deluxe.

I can’t help but feel inadequate when I look at the McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch Premium McWrap. Look at its length. Look at its girth. If you compare it to one of my body parts, the McWrap makes it look pathetic.

I’m talking about my arm wresting arm. If somehow a McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch Premium McWrap came to life and I had to beat it at an arm wrestling match to prevent it from taking over the world, I’m going to lose and we’re going to have to call it Supreme Ruler McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch Premium McWrap.

When Apple’s iPad was first introduced, many people said it was just a big iPod touch or iPhone. And when I first heard about McDonald’s new McWraps, I thought they were just larger McDonald’s Snack Wraps. However, McDonald’s McWraps are much more than larger Snack Wraps.

A Chicken & Ranch McWrap can be made with either crispy or grilled chicken. I decided to try both varieties. (To be honest, I really wish McDonald’s would stuff these McWraps with McNuggets.) When the McCrew Member handed me the bag with my McWraps, I was McSurprised by how McHeavy it was. How McHeavy? I believe with a regime that involves several sets of wrist and bicep curls with a bag filled with two McWraps, I could take on and beat an animated McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch Premium McWrap intent on taking over the Earth.

Along with your choice of chicken, the 9-inch McWraps are stuffed with half slices of tomatoes, cucumber slices, shredded lettuce, cheddar jack cheese, spring greens, seasoned rice vinegar, and buttermilk ranch sauce. I’d list the plants that make up the spring greens, but it’s filled with names you’re probably unfamiliar with, so instead I’m just going to tell you it consists of greens from the Asteraceae, Brassicaceae, Amaranthaceae families.

The McWraps come in sleeves that work a lot like convertible pants. But because of my muscle memory from eating a lot of Taco Bell burritos, I took the McWrap out of its sleeve and grabbed it like I was fighting a snake.

The crispy version is better tasting than the grilled one, thanks to the chicken’s breading, but I would buy either one again. I haven’t tried the other McWraps yet, so I can’t compare it with them, but these Chicken & Ranch versions are quite tasty. The buttermilk ranch sauce was spread evenly throughout the McWrap, ensuring flavor in every bite (and preventing ingredients from falling out), and the seasoned rice vinegar was ever so slightly noticeable but I think most people won’t realize it’s there.

Another ingredient eaters probably won’t notice is the cheese, which got lost in the buttermilk ranch sauce’s flavor. Since it doesn’t add any flavor, might I recommend asking to leave it out, which will knock off a good amount of fat and around 100 milligrams of sodium.

Thanks to the farmer’s market level of vegetables in each McWrap, its innards were filled with orange, dark green, light green, and dark purple colors. The veggies were also spread evenly within the flour tortilla as if they were placed there by a Subway Sandwich Artist.

While the McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch Premium McWrap makes my forearms look inadequate, it adequately fills my stomach and gratifies my taste buds.

Click here to read our McDonald’s Sweet Chili McWrap review

(Nutrition Facts – Crispy – 590 calories, 260 calories from fat, 29 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 05. grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 1300 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of sugar, 3 grams of fiber, 26 grams of protein. Grilled – 430 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 1130 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, 3 grams of fiber, 30 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch Premium McWrap reviews:
Grub Grade
Man Reviews Food

Item: McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch Premium McWrap
Purchased Price: $4.99 each*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Crispy)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Grilled)
Pros: Nice flavor. Filling. Crispy is better tasting than grilled. Stuffed with, um, stuff, giving them a nice heft. Nice variety of veggies. They’ve got cucumbers. Dropping in plant family references to make me look smarter than I really am.
Cons: Cheese was unnecessary. Makes my arms look weak. Fast food trying to take over the planet. Awesome source of sodium. A McWrap probably doesn’t contain every green listed under “spring greens.”

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

I have good news and bad news for those of you thinking that McDonald’s new Premium McWraps are just the same old pathetic looking McDonald’s chicken snack wraps with a prefix attached to the front of their name and a whole bunch of marketing buzzwords thrown into their description.

The good news? They’re not.

They come in futuristic packaging, taste pretty good, and demonstrate a degree of wrapping that most men in this country will never be able to achieve when wrapping birthday and Christmas gifts.

The bad news? They still kind of look pretty pathetic, all things considered.

Each wrap, including my Sweet Chili with Grilled Chicken, comes in an oblong container that looks kind of like an unlit lightsaber. It’s been a while since I was required to read directions to open something with the prefix “Mc” in front of it, but I eventually managed to separate the top part of the container to reveal and handy-dandy and convenient oh-God-why-would-I-need-this base container that attempted to defy gravity in holding my McWrap upright (ultimately, it failed. For you teachers, consider it the next time you teach Newton).

As seen below, the wrap didn’t exactly live up to advertising expectations. With a good inch and a half of tortilla “dead space,” my first bite was about as disappointing as the series finale of Seinfeld. A lone cucumber stared me straight in the face like a cyclopes, but since I was eating something called a “McWrap” and not facing down an actual Cyclops, I didn’t exactly cower in fear. Like I said, it looked pretty pathetic.

The tortilla itself isn’t bad on its own, but for $3.99 I really expect something composed of more than just enriched flour and hydrogenated soybean oil in foldable form. Fortunately, a quick cut through the wrap’s abdomen yielded insides stuffed with chicken and other vegetation.

Regarding this vegetation, the McDonald’s website tells me that my McWrap may have contained some or all of a catalogue of designer greens including Baby Green Romaine, Baby Red Romaine, Baby Red Leaf, Baby Green Leaf, Baby Red Swiss Chard, Baby Red Oak, Baby Green Oak, Lolla Rosa, Tango, Tatsoi, Arugula, Mizuna, Frisee, and Radicchio.

Basically, I’m going to venture to say it just contained a little more than the standard iceburg lettuce that’s usually thrown in as an afterthought. I may not know how to pronounce Tatsoi, and the last time I saw Tango I was falling asleep watching Dancing with the Stars, but I think I’d know for certain if they were in my wrap. The greens add a little bit of flavor and bitterness, but mostly, they’re just kind of there like the third string quarterback on a football team.

The chicken is juicy and plump and has a nice faux chargrill flavor that could compete with most fast casual chains. Thanks to what I’m guessing is the “prepared with liquid margarine” part of the ingredients list, there’s a buttery and slightly sweet taste that conjures up images of meat basting on the grill.

The Sweet Chili sauce, while seemingly isolated in the wraps southeastern quadrant, was actually applied in just the right restraint. It’s not overpowering or cloying, although, as anyone who has ever drowned their sorrows in a 50 pack of McNuggets can tell you, it’s not very hot. Basically, they should call it Sweet Red Pepper Sauce.

While the wrap gets its name from Sweet Chili, it’s the Creamy Garlic Sauce which pleasantly caught me by surprise. It’s got a mild milky flavor with a certain lightness but also a sweet roasted garlic element to it. Think of it as yummier and healthier than mayo, but simple enough to not confuse your taste buds, maybe like an aioli-for-dummies or something like that.

Enjoyable, no doubt, but worth the 3.99 price tag? That’s where I’m going to have to say ‘no.’ While there’s certainly some heft in the 360 calorie, 27-gram protein McWrap, the truth is that it just doesn’t feel as substantial as a “Premium” sandwich. Sure, the tastes are all there, but the wrap itself leaves something to be desired in terms of the amount of ingredients offered, as well as their proportion. Too much Tortilla and not enough crunch set it back, as does a bells and whistle packaging design that screams trying too hard.

In addition, there seems to be something missing in terms of the vegetables offered within the wrap. Discounting wrap physics, I would have preferred a few chopped tomatoes or perhaps crunchy carrot or pepper strips to compliment the two sauces. As someone who had the chance to try the line of McDonald’s flatbreads the chain tested in the Baltimore region some three years ago, I can say I enjoyed those flavors — and price tag — much more, and hope that the Golden Arches hasn’t put that idea on the back burner and decided to replace it permanently with the new line of Chicken McWraps.

Click here to read our McDonald’s Chicken & Ranch McWrap review

(Nutrition Facts – 360 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 1030 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 27 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s McWrap reviews:
Man Reviews Food

Item: McDonald’s Sweet Chili Premium McWrap with Grilled Chicken
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 9.1 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Bigger and better than a snack wrap. Good, ‘premium’ tasting grilled chicken. Excellent wrapping that doesn’t fall apart. Good balance of sweet and savory. More greens than just iceburg. Creamy Garlic Sauce is a great change-up from mayo. Eating a non-pickled cucumber at McDonald’s. Pretending to be a Jedi with the container. 27 grams protein.
Cons: Size doesn’t justify the price. Could use another vegetable crunch factor. Tortilla dead space. Doesn’t look as pathetic as a snack wrap but still kind of pathetic.

McDonald’s Hot ’n Spicy McChicken Sandwich is only a dollar, so I really shouldn’t complain about it.

But after looking under couch cushions, car floor mats, Coinstar machines, water in a wishing well, sand at a beach, and sleeping panhandlers to gather enough loose change to buy one, I believe I can add my two cents, which I took from a take a penny, leave a penny tray at my local convenience store.

At a quick glance, the Hot ’n Spicy McChicken looks very much like a regular McChicken. But a closer examination will show it’s got the same bun, shredded lettuce, and mayonnaise, but it’s got a breaded chicken patty with a reddish hue. Its color makes it look a little evil, but if you were to take the shredded lettuce and form a goatee on top of the patty it would look eviler.

Muahaha. Muahaha.

The reddish chicken patty used in the sandwich has a little bit more heat than McDonald’s Spicy McBites, which also had a reddish breading. Unfortunately, the patty’s breading provides no real flavor or crunch.

Also, unlike the Spicy McBites, the spicy chicken patty doesn’t have a sauce to give it flavor. It’s stuck with the usual mayonnaise. Not a spicy mayonnaise, mind you, but the same ol’ mayonnaise found on a regular McChicken Sandwich that prevents some of the shredded lettuce from falling out. So it’s just a McChicken with some heat.

The Hot ‘n Spicy McChicken isn’t a new sandwich, it’s been around at limited locations over the past 2-3 years, but during that time they’ve also introduced their wonderful Hot Habanero Sauce. So why couldn’t they combine the two and make a sandwich that’s not only spicy, but also has a flavor that goes beyond a normal McChicken.

Or, if they want the entire frickin’ internet talking about McDonald’s that doesn’t involve pink slime or a drop in revenue, they should come out with a hot and spicy Sriracha McChicken. Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and (insert big internet 2.0 thingie here) would erupt over that.

Overall, McDonald’s Hot ’n Spicy McChicken Sandwich is hot and spicy, but it’s not much else. Some might be fine with that, but after their surprisingly flavorful $1 McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger, I was expecting a bit more.

(Nutrition Facts – 380 calories, 160 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1030 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 22 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 15 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Hot ‘n Spicy McChicken reviews:
Grub Grade
An Immovable Feast

Item: McDonald’s Hot ‘n Spicy McChicken Sandwich
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It’s just one dollar. Nice heat. Great if you’re bored of eating regular McChicken sandwiches. Mayo helps keep lettuce from falling out. A Sriracha McChicken.
Cons: Breading doesn’t provide much flavor or crunch. Has just plain ol’ mayo. Reddish breading makes it look evil. Having to search for enough loose change to buy a Hot ‘n Spicy McChicken sandwich.

If my subscription to Men’s Health Magazine has taught me anything it’s that I should eat fish regularly and Men’s Health will never run out of six-pack abs articles. Never.

My fish intake involves me consuming salmon once a week, occasionally enjoying sushi that’s served on a conveyor belt, and eating a local delicacy called poke (pronounced POH-keh), which is raw fish mixed with spices, sauces, and onions. However, my recent fish intake included McDonald’s Fish McBites.

Yes, I know breaded fried fish is probably not what Men’s Health Magazine had in mind when it comes to fish I should eat. But I also learned from reading Men’s Health that it’s okay to cheat once in a while.

Or maybe I read that in Infidelity Monthly Magazine, which, by the way, will never run out of how to cheat articles. Never.

The fish inside each Fish McBite is pollock (or Colin if you live in the UK), which is the same fish found in McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish and most frozen fish sticks. If you’re into sustainable food production, McDonald’s recently announced that the wild-caught Alaskan pollock they use is now Marine Stewardship Council (MSC) certified. That means McDonald’s gets its fish from suppliers that have to meet strict MSC standards. What are those standards? You ask too many questions. Read this.

The Fish McBites’ breaded exterior is different than what’s on McDonald’s Chicken McBites. It looks more like Shake & Bake than fried chicken. Also, while the Chicken McBites came in a salmagundi of sizes and shapes, the Fish McBites’ size and shape are uniform. The breading gives the popcorn fish a nice crunch, but I thought it lacked flavor. I would’ve liked it to have enough flavor that I wouldn’t feel the need to dip it into the provided tartar sauce.

The fish encased in the crunchy, somewhat flavorless breading is flaky. No. Super flaky. It falls apart so easily that it’s extremely hard to double dip these Fish McBites. Also, the breading has a hard time sticking to the fish. So if you’re a double dipper, you’re going to experience pieces of fish and/or breading falling into your container of tartar sauce and using your fingers to fish (pun not intended…okay it was) them out. Of course, this isn’t a problem if you dip one into the tartar sauce and then pop the whole thing in your mouth.

If you enjoy Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, then you’ll know how fishy these taste. I thought the Fish McBites and tartar sauce combination was tasty, but, again, I do wish the breading had a stronger flavor to make them taste less similar to a McDonald’s fish sandwich. If you do try them, might I recommend getting them with a different sauce or ordering some McDonald’s fries with them, breaking out a bottle of malt vinegar, and McHacking some fish ‘n chips.

(Nutrition Facts – Regular Size – 370 calories, 180 calories from fat, 20 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 630 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 17 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Fish McBites reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Grub Grade
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Fish McBites
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Regular Size
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Fish McBites and tartar sauce combo was tasty. Slightly better for you than Chicken McBites. Pleasantly crunchy exterior. Uniform shape and size. Eating fish once a week, but not fried fish.
Cons: Easily falls apart, making them hard to double dip. Breading needs more flavor. Super flaky. Breading doesn’t stick to fish well. Fishing out pieces of fish and breading from the container of tartar sauce. I don’t have six pack abs after years of having a Men’s Health subscription.

By bringing together steak and egg together into a burrito, it sounds like McDonald’s is stepping into undiscovered breakfast menu territory. But it turns out McDonald’s is the Christopher Columbus of fast food steak and egg burritos, while Jack in the Box, Sonic Drive-In, Del Taco, Carl’s Jr., and Taco Bell are the indigenous people who were already there.

The McDonald’s Steak & Egg Burrito is not very grande. In fact, it makes a Taco Bell soft taco look like a Taco Bell burrito, makes a Taco Bell burrito look like a Chipotle burrito, and makes a Chipotle burrito look like a newborn baby. But as I’ve been taught by multiple Nickelodeon cartoons, it not the outside that counts, it’s the inside that matters.

So what’s inside this breakfast burrito?

According to the McDonald’s website, the Steak & Egg Burrito consists of pre-cooked scrambled eggs, fully cooked shredded beef, vegetables, pasteurized process American cheese, and salsa roja wrapped in a flour tortilla.

You’re probably curious about the steak. Or, for those of you are air quote-happy, “steak.” Or, for those of you who want to appear snobby and witty at the same time, “Steak? Pishaw. More like stfake.” Well, if you’re one of those people who likes air quotes or would use the word “stfake,” you have every reason to feel the way you do because, as mentioned in the previous paragraph, what’s in this burrito isn’t what many people think of as steak. I don’t know about you, but shredded beef does not equal steak. If Taco Bell can put slices of steak into their burritos, then why not McDonald’s.

Now with that said, the shredded beef was tender, each burrito had beef from end to end, and it had a nice meaty flavor. It’s not bad for something that’s not steak. However, what gave this burrito most of its flavor was the salsa roja, which was a nice tomatoey and slightly garlicky sauce with a little spicy kick.

Including American cheese, which is the same stuff you’d find in a Big Mac, was surprising, and perhaps pepper jack or cheddar would’ve been better, but the American cheese was fine. As for the scrambled eggs, they really didn’t have any noticeable flavor. All they seemed to do for this burrito was give it some girth and allow this small breakfast item to have a double protein punch.

As much as I ragged on the McDonald’s Steak & Egg Burrito in this review, it’s tasty enough that I would order it again, and I prefer it over McDonald’s Sausage Burrito. If you decide to try it, I’d recommend buying two to fill you up (or maybe order an oatmeal), because it really is quite small.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burrito – 280 calories, 13 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 790 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A, 15% calcium, and 10% iron.)

Other McDonald’s Steak & Egg Burrito reviews:
Grub Grade

Man Reviews Food

Item: McDonald’s Steak & Egg Burrito
Purchased Price: $3.59 (for two)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Shredded beef has decent flavor. Salsa roja provides most of the flavor. Cheese, surprisingly, added flavor. A good source of protein. Lessons taught at the end of cartoons.
Cons: Its size makes a Taco Bell soft taco look bigger than it really is. Shredded beef isn’t really steak. Small. Awesome source of sodium. Eggs were almost flavorless. It’s more like a burito than a burrito. One isn’t filling.

If we were to compare fast food burger chains to global powers – and seriously, why would we? – then I’m apt to consider McDonald’s as somewhat akin to the British Empire.

Once the bastion of all fast food burger development, Ray Kroc’s hegemony of franchises long laid claim to influences far and wide, bringing such powerful and lucrative brands like the Big Mac to every corner of the globe. Hamburgers, fries, fountain sodas…they were dreadnaughts in this global proliferation of fast food hardware, and it wasn’t long until others – notably Otto von Burger King – began to challenge the idea that the sun would never set on the Golden Arches.

If you stare at the lights on in a 24-hour Micky D’s long enough in the wee hours of the morning you might argue that sun hasn’t really set. And McDonald’s burgers, much like Imperial Britain, have seen better days. Blame a shared case of pissing off locals due to the use beef byproducts, or just chalk it up to losing its influence thanks to two major Burger Wars, but the general consensus these days is that when it comes to hamburgers, McDonald’s offerings have regressed into a shadow of what they once tasted like and stood for.

Still, like the Falklands conflict or a really cool imported British TV comedy, McDonald’s is able to surprise us when it comes to hamburgers in some of the most unlikely of places.

I truly believe the new, dollar menu priced Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger is one of those surprises.

I have to say, it’s about time the dollar menu got a new friend. Ever since a relaunch a few years ago which took the four-piece McNuggets off the menu, I’ve been begrudgingly awaiting the day when the McDouble or McChicken would get bumped up to a 1.29 price tag. Fortunately that hasn’t happened, and if McDonald’s latest addition to the menu proves anything, it’s that they can still be innovative with their burger concepts at cheap skate price points.

Nobody in their right mind would claim a single McDonald’s kids burger patty is substantial, but somehow, someway, the Grilled Onion Cheddar feels more substantial than a standard cheeseburger. For you military types, consider the cheese and grilled onion mixture your classic force multiplier, if you will. The sweet onions have a slightly crisp texture and deep flavor, as if slowly caramelized in clarified butter of a flattop grill. Taken together with the patty, slightly squishy-sweet bun, and slice of milky, but processed, only-minimally-melted, yet still delectable, pasteurized cheese product, the onions somehow manage to make the burger.

The flavor is not so much in each bite but in each chew, with the – why yes, dare I say ‘meaty’ taste – coalescing into a sweet and chewy mesh of burger matter during the opening salvos of mechanical digestion. I consider the entire experience to be a triumph of McDonald’s burger innovation that we never saw coming. It is, to build on our analogy, the equivalent of the British victory in the Falklands Conflict packaged in one dollar hamburger form.

Like the British military operations carried out in that remote corner of the world in 1982, there are minor flaws to the burger’s strategy. I consider these mostly operational, and something that comes with any fast food hamburger.

Aside from unmelted cheese, McDonald’s only misstep here was choosing not to import the McDouble’s proven and curiously addictive combination of pickles, mustard, and ketchup to the chain’s latest value creation. Forget that the pickles could add major umami impact, but a bit of pungency from the mustard and the additional acidic sweetness of the ketchup would create a truly complete flavor combination that might just go unrivaled at the one dollar price point. How do I know? I added both, of course – on the third one of these I had in as many days.

Look, I get it. I realize it’s still a value sized burger – barely big enough as a snack for some people – and I realize it’s going to have the inherent fast food hamburger flaws. The game has changed though, and for a value burger in today’s market, McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger packs a flavorful punch that Wendy’s and Burger King just can’t match at the one dollar price point.

It might not be Admiral Lord Nelson smashing the French and Spanish fleets at Trafalgar, but in an ever-changing geoburger landscape, the McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger proves that Ray Kroc’s sun is still far from set.

(Nutrition Facts – 310 calories, 220 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 660 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger reviews:
Grub Grade
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Force multiplying effect of sweet onion mixture add meaty flavors and big taste. Cheese tastes better than the usual insipid yellow stuff. Classic McDonald’s squishy bun. Using my history degree. Might be the best $1 hamburger on the mainstream fast food market.
Cons: Small sized patty. Not the beefiest flavor. Begging for pickles and mustard. Cheese needs to be more melted. The absurdity of comparing a value hamburger to geopolitical entities.

According to Burger Business, McDonald’s is testing three new Quarter Pounder varieties.

The Deluxe Quarter Pounder is made up of American cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, red onions, crinkle-cut pickles, mayonnaise, and mustard on top of a quarter pound beef patty. If all that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the same toppings on the Angus Deluxe Third Pounder.

The Bacon & Cheese Quarter Pounder is also topped with the same ingredients found on its heavier Angus Third Pounder cousin — hickory-smoked bacon, American cheese, red onions, and crinkle-cut pickles.

The most intriguing and unique of the three test varieties is the Habanero Ranch Quarter Pounder, which features a white cheddar cheese slice, hickory-smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, and a mild habanero ranch sauce.

Wait. What?

Mild habanero sauce?

Mild and habanero should not go together. Ugh. I was excited about this burger burning my mouth, but now that I know it’s not going to be as spicy hot as McDonald’s Hot Habanero sauce, I’m less thrilled about it.

The new Quarter Pounders are being tested in several Northern California markets, and according to Brand Eating, they’re also being offered in a few Ohio markets.

If you’ve tried any of the new Quarter Pounder varieties, let us know what you think of them in the comments.

Last year, I tried the McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie and thought it was pretty good for what it was — namely, one of McDonald’s many pie varieties — although it had a lackluster crust and weird textured filling.

Well, I tried the fast food pumpkin pie again this year and all I have to say is that it appears McDonald’s is in cahoots with Paula Deen.

How else can one explain the flaky pastry crust adorned with warm cinnamon and buttery taste, and the warm, unctuous texture of the spicy yet rich filling that’s bursting with robust pumpkin flavor and a none-to-sweet finish that will make you swear off Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts for the remainder of your November?

A pumpkin junkie in my own right, I’ve had the autumnal rite of pumpkin pie flavored stuff in just about every conceivable form – and even some inconceivable ones. Pumpkin donuts. pumpkin pie yogurt. pumpkin muffins and ice cream and yes, even that standard, how-the-heck does it taste this artificially awesome pumpkin mousse that every Weight Watcher’s household has run-across. There have been some hits. There have been a lot of misses. But the McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie is one of the few edible goodies that have been able to live up to any semblance of that traditionally rich and wholesome pumpkin pie your grandma bakes each Thanksgiving.

My local McDonald’s wasn’t quite inclined to recreate the Thanksgiving experience by serving me my pumpkin pie on a recliner in front of a picture-in-picture HDTV with both the Cowboys game and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade highlights on the screen, but my store did serve it to me piping hot and in a cute little orange box which made me feel like I was getting an early Christmas present, and not just one with a buttload of saturated fat in something the size of my phone.

Adorned with a cinnamon glaze and three tiny slits on top, the pies themselves won’t win any beauty contests. Nor will they intoxicate you with the kind of siren-like aroma that causes even the most grotesquely stuffed post-Thanksgiving dinner guest to make a beeline for the dessert table. Yet for what the pie lacks in visual sophistication or intoxicating aroma, it somehow makes up in balance of taste and remarkable authenticity.

I don’t know if they changed the recipe from last year but the crust is much better from what I remember and isn’t just an afterthought to contain the warm and delicious filling. It has a delicate crumb and an enjoyably flaky texture, but it’s the buttery, croissant-like taste and baked-in cinnamon flavor which make it an enjoyable and dare-I-say sophisticated foil to the filling.

The filling itself is tough to describe outside of the prerequisite “mmmmmmm,” but I’ll do my best to exploit my non auditory vocabulary ability. Texturally speaking, it’s a bit more viscous than solid packed pumpkin filling, with specks of fall spices breaking up the bright orange. Despite looking like it might have come from a can, it tastes developed and rich, as if it’s been baked with the addition of brown sugar and evaporated milk – two staples of many a pumpkin pie recipe. The sweetness seems remarkably restrained, a pleasant surprise which allows the spices and pumpkin to shine while still providing enough textural contrast with the flaky crust.

I just don’t get it, I really don’t. I’m not suppose to enjoy a McDonald’s pie this much. A hamburger? Possibly. Fries? Certainly. But a one dollar pie exemplifying all that is right and good about autumn foods? As dumbfounded as I am at this apparent coup aimed at the family Thanksgiving table, McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie cannot be denied it’s due deliciousness, especially not when it’s fresh baked and piping hot.

Thank you, Ronald and company. Whether it was Paula Deen and her Botox enhanced grins or just an assembly line of conscripted grandmothers, you’ve managed to create an affordable slice of the Holidays that’s as delicious as it is simple.

(Nutrition Facts – 240 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Pumpkin Pie reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Flakey, buttery crust with warm cinnamon flavor. Filling has enjoyably viscous and warm consistency with classic warming spices and brown sugar sweetness. Not cloying. Comes in a cute box. Trans fat free. Tastes new and improved. Vitamin A!
Cons: Small, as in, three bites and your done small. Super source of saturated fat. Potential cultural ramifications of McDonald’s making a better pumpkin pie than my own grandmother. My grandmother reading this review and forcing me to sit at the kids table for Thanksgiving. Not available nationwide.

Usually, the McFlurry add-ins are mixed with the soft serve, but as you can see in the photo on the right that wasn’t the case with the McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry I received.

It wasn’t a problem because I have opposable thumbs and extremely strong wrists to mix everything.

Also, I like the add-ins dumped on top like that because seeing all the red and green peppermint candy pieces made the McFlurry look more holiday-ish than if they were blended with the vanilla soft serve.

Having the candy pieces floating on the quickly melting soft serve also made the top of my McFlurry look like regurgitated crayons, a color blindness test, and the bottom of a fish bowl.

I originally thought the red and green pieces were minty candy coated chocolate, but after reading the ingredients list, it turns out they’re not chocolate and one-third of their ingredients are food dyes.

Here’s the ingredients list for those of you who are totally into food dyes: sugar, fractionated palm kernel oil, nonfat milk, corn syrup, corn cereal, modified food starch, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, degerminated yellow corn meal, soy lecithin, Red 40 Lake, natural flavor (botanical source), Yellow 5 Lake, salt, Blue 1 Lake, Turmeric Extract (Color), Red 40, Blue 1.

Mmm…degerminated yellow corn meal and Red 40.

After using my opposable thumbs and strong wrists to combine the reduced fat vanilla soft serve, mint syrup, and peppermint candy pieces, my mouth soon discovered how minty the McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry was. There were no bursts of peppermint going off in my mouth, which would’ve make the cold soft serve feel even colder and make my mouth feel like it’s hosting a ski resort. The peppermint candies were equally minty and sweet, and reminded me of Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum.

The peppermint candy pieces weren’t really what I would call crunchy, but had a firmness to them. Even though they were made with corn cereal and corn meal, they surprisingly didn’t get soggy while sitting in my half-melted McFlurry. I hope whatever processed food voodoo McDonald’s is doing to prevent them from getting soggy ends up in our breakfast cereals.

One last thing about the peppermint candy pieces. I thought they were harmless, nutritionally, because they’re made with bunch of corn products, dyes, and no chocolate, but they provide eight of the 15 grams of saturated fat in this McFlurry.

The vanilla soft serve and mint syrup was a nice combination, so much so that I’d like to do a McHack that involves adding the mint syrup to an Oreo McFlurry.

Overall, McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry was a delightful treat, and if I’m feeling the holiday spirit, my opposable thumbs and strong wrists could see themselves mixing another.

(Nutrition Facts – 570 calories, 190 calories from fat, 21 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 84 grams of carbohydrates, 76 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry reviews:
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delightful. Pleasant mintiness. Colorful, if the peppermint candies are dumped on top. McHacks. Peppermint candy didn’t get soggy in melted soft serve. Opposable thumbs and strong wrists.
Cons: Awesome source of food dyes. Awesome source of saturated fat. Peppermint candy pieces created using processed food voodoo. The candy pieces on top looked like the bottom of a fish bowl.

According to the internets, the McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake has been around for a few years, but only available in certain regions. This year, McDonald’s decided to let more people experience the wonder and delight of their holiday dairy beverage-flavored shake.

But why did McDonald’s take so long?

Instead of enjoying a McDonald’s Egg Nog Shake during the holidays, I’ve had to tolerate the McDonald’s Arctic Orange Shake, which is no egg nog shake or The Grimace Shake, a purple shake I really want McDonald’s to develop.

Sure, I could’ve gone to Jack in the Box and had their egg nog shake, but I’m boycotting Jack in the Box shakes until they bring back their bacon shake for an unlimited time.

It’s hard to tell in my overexposed photo, but McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake comes in a pastel yellow color usually found on Easter eggs, Post-It Notes, or on nursery walls belonging to infants whose parents wanted to wait until the child’s birth to find out its sex.

There’s not really anything wrong with its color. However, it’s an exaggerated egg nog color that had me expecting the McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake to have an exaggerated, maybe artificial, egg nog flavor.

Thankfully, the combination of reduced fat soft serve and egg nog-flavored syrup tasted exactly like the thick holiday dairy beverage I drink to my fill to celebrate the arrival of the fall season. And when I say, “drink to my fill,” I mean one glass, because that amount of the thick beverage makes my stomach feel like it ate a meal. Fortunately, the egg nog shake doesn’t make me feel that way.

The McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake was delightful. It was eggy, sweet, and creamy, although I wished it had more of a cinnamon spice flavor to it. But, still, it was yum on my tongue.

(Nutrition Facts – Small – 540 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 86 grams of carbohydrates, 74 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, and 40% calcium.)

Other McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake reviews:
Daym Drops (video)
Reviews by Cole

Item: McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Delicious. All the goodness of egg nog. Creamy. Awesome source of calcium. Not as rich as regular egg nog. Whipped topping is durable. Post-It Notes. Better late than never for the McDonald’s Egg Nog Shake.
Cons: One gram of trans fat. Unnecessary Maraschino cherry. Could’ve used a little cinnamon. Worse for you than actual egg nog. Exaggerated egg nog color.

CBO…

COB…

BOC…

BCO…

OBC…

OCB…

Oh, hello there. I’m just trying to figure out why McDonald’s decided to promote their new Cheddar Bacon Onion sandwiches with the acronym CBO, and not some other letter combination.

Perhaps COB would’ve confused people into thinking there was only corn in the sandwiches; BOC might’ve made consumers think these sandwiches are all about chicken because if you say it out loud as a word and not an acronym, it makes you sound like a chicken; BCO looks like text speak for bacon; with so much drama in the O-B-C, it’s kinda hard bein’ Snoop D-O-double-G; and OCB sounds like something I need to a psychiatrist for.

Hmm…I guess CBO was the right choice. Oh wait, it ends with BO. That can’t be good.

The Cheddar Bacon Onion Sandwiches are available with either an Angus Third Pounder beef patty, a Crispy Premium Chicken filet, or a Grilled Premium Chicken filet. Along with your choice of beef or BOC, the sandwiches are topped with white cheddar cheese, grilled caramelized onions, hickory-smoked bacon, and a creamy mustard sauce.

Don’t all those ingredients make these sandwiches sound awesome? Sure, pigs that become McDonald’s bacon should be ashamed that they end up as mediocre bacon and white cheddar cheese tastes just like orange cheddar cheese, but I thought perhaps putting them together with onions and a mustard sauce would create a tasty sandwich.

However, both the McDonald’s Cheddar Bacon Onion Angus Third Pounder and Cheddar Bacon Onion Crispy Premium Chicken Sandwich don’t excite my palate.

If you’re staring at the new calorie-fied menu at McDonald’s and can’t decide whether to get the CBO Angus Third Pounder or the CBO Crispy Premium Chicken Sandwich, go with the beef. It’s the better tasting of the two, because the chicken has very little flavor. It has a slightly crispy outside and the filet has a pleasant thickness, but those are the only positive things I can say about it. The chicken version is also noticeably smaller than the Angus Third Pounder, but costs the same.

As for the CBO Angus Third Pounder, again, it’s better, but not much better. The patty was dry, but had a good meaty flavor. Both sandwiches had a lot of bacon and each bite I took had enough bacon to make me squeal like a pig that just realized it ate pork, but it provided a little smokiness and a lot of saltiness.

(Side note about McDonald’s bacon: If McDonald’s thinks so highly of their bacon, why isn’t it an option when ordering their Big Breakfast? It’s only available in sandwiches.)

The onions were plentiful and buttery, but they didn’t have an oniony punch. I could taste the white cheddar whenever I took a bite that didn’t have much sauce, but the melted cheese did a better job at making sure the bacon didn’t fall out than providing a cheesiness. Overall, the bacon, onions, and cheese trio added very little flavor and just the made the sandwiches taste super salty.

However, the most disappointing ingredient in the two sandwiches was the creamy mustard sauce. I thought McDonald’s could make a good mustard sauce, after all, they did come up with the greatest chicken nugget dipping sauce ever — Hot Mustard. But the sauce, which is made up of ingredients like Dijon mustard and horseradish, didn’t have a strong mustard seed spiciness or any kind of bite. It’s a weak sauce, which makes it, as the kids say, weak sauce.

I read somewhere on the internets that test versions of this Angus Third Pounder also included a steak sauce. That might’ve helped, but it wasn’t included.

Weak sauce, man. Weak sauce.

(Nutrition Facts – CBO Angus – 790 calories, 370 calories from fat, 41 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of cholesterol, 1830 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 45 grams of protein. CBO Crispy Chicken – 630 calories, 260 calories from fat, 29 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 1630 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s CBO sandwich reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Grub Grade
Dave’s Cupboard

Item: McDonald’s Cheddar Bacon Onion Angus Third Pounder & Crispy Premium Chicken Sandwich
Purchased Price: $4.99 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Angus Third Pounder)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Crispy Premium Chicken)
Pros: Lots of bacon. Lots of onions. CBO Angus was better tasting. Buns did a good job of not falling apart. 90s hip-hop. Awesome source of protein.
Cons: CBO Crispy Chicken was boring. Creamy mustard sauce didn’t have a lot of flavor. McDonald’s bacon. Cheese didn’t do a good job of preventing onions from falling out. The bacon, onions, and cheese trio just the made the sandwiches taste super salty

According to Nation’s Restaurant News, McDonald’s will launch the Cheddar Bacon Onion Angus Third Pounder and the Cheddar Bacon Onion Premium Chicken Sandwich later this fall.

The sandwiches feature hickory-smoked bacon, caramelized grilled onions, two slices of white cheddar, and a creamy mustard sauce. The chicken sandwich can be ordered with either a crispy or grilled chicken filet.

NRN also reports McDonald’s will offer Fish McBites nationwide sometime next February.

The Cheddar Bacon Onion sandwiches and the Fish McBites have been in test markets since early this year, so if you’ve tried them, let us know what you think of them in the comments.

Source: Nation’s Restaurant News

Austrian McDonald’s restaurants will be offering two noodle dishes called McNoodles starting this week for a limited time.

The noodle entrees are made up of noodles, vegetables, chicken, and either a sweet and sour or curry sauce. McNoodles will cost 4.99 euros ($6.56 US).

If McNoodles are successful, we could eventually see them in the U.S., much like McDonald’s McWraps, which were originally sold in European and South American locations, and are now being tested in Chicago.

If any of our Austrian readers (I know there are a few) try McNoodles, let us know what you think of the dish in the comments below.

Source: Reuters

According to Grub Grade, the Golden Arches is testing a new breakfast sandwich that might appeal to those looking for healthier options beyond McDonald’s oatmeal, fruit parfait, and fruit & walnut salad. It’s called the Egg White Delight and it has 260 calories, which is just 40 less than a regular Egg McMuffin.

I could write more about it in normal paragraph form, but its name is begging it to be explained using the following song lyrics:

Thinking of you’s working up my appetite
Looking forward to a little Egg White Delight
A whole grain muffin, Canadian bacon, cheddar and an egg white
and the thought of eatin’ you is getting so exciting

Egg McMuffin Lite
Egg White Delight

For those of you who do not get the song reference, click here.

Source: Grub Grade