If we were to compare fast food burger chains to global powers – and seriously, why would we? – then I’m apt to consider McDonald’s as somewhat akin to the British Empire.

Once the bastion of all fast food burger development, Ray Kroc’s hegemony of franchises long laid claim to influences far and wide, bringing such powerful and lucrative brands like the Big Mac to every corner of the globe. Hamburgers, fries, fountain sodas…they were dreadnaughts in this global proliferation of fast food hardware, and it wasn’t long until others – notably Otto von Burger King – began to challenge the idea that the sun would never set on the Golden Arches.

If you stare at the lights on in a 24-hour Micky D’s long enough in the wee hours of the morning you might argue that sun hasn’t really set. And McDonald’s burgers, much like Imperial Britain, have seen better days. Blame a shared case of pissing off locals due to the use beef byproducts, or just chalk it up to losing its influence thanks to two major Burger Wars, but the general consensus these days is that when it comes to hamburgers, McDonald’s offerings have regressed into a shadow of what they once tasted like and stood for.

Still, like the Falklands conflict or a really cool imported British TV comedy, McDonald’s is able to surprise us when it comes to hamburgers in some of the most unlikely of places.

I truly believe the new, dollar menu priced Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger is one of those surprises.

I have to say, it’s about time the dollar menu got a new friend. Ever since a relaunch a few years ago which took the four-piece McNuggets off the menu, I’ve been begrudgingly awaiting the day when the McDouble or McChicken would get bumped up to a 1.29 price tag. Fortunately that hasn’t happened, and if McDonald’s latest addition to the menu proves anything, it’s that they can still be innovative with their burger concepts at cheap skate price points.

Nobody in their right mind would claim a single McDonald’s kids burger patty is substantial, but somehow, someway, the Grilled Onion Cheddar feels more substantial than a standard cheeseburger. For you military types, consider the cheese and grilled onion mixture your classic force multiplier, if you will. The sweet onions have a slightly crisp texture and deep flavor, as if slowly caramelized in clarified butter of a flattop grill. Taken together with the patty, slightly squishy-sweet bun, and slice of milky, but processed, only-minimally-melted, yet still delectable, pasteurized cheese product, the onions somehow manage to make the burger.

The flavor is not so much in each bite but in each chew, with the – why yes, dare I say ‘meaty’ taste – coalescing into a sweet and chewy mesh of burger matter during the opening salvos of mechanical digestion. I consider the entire experience to be a triumph of McDonald’s burger innovation that we never saw coming. It is, to build on our analogy, the equivalent of the British victory in the Falklands Conflict packaged in one dollar hamburger form.

Like the British military operations carried out in that remote corner of the world in 1982, there are minor flaws to the burger’s strategy. I consider these mostly operational, and something that comes with any fast food hamburger.

Aside from unmelted cheese, McDonald’s only misstep here was choosing not to import the McDouble’s proven and curiously addictive combination of pickles, mustard, and ketchup to the chain’s latest value creation. Forget that the pickles could add major umami impact, but a bit of pungency from the mustard and the additional acidic sweetness of the ketchup would create a truly complete flavor combination that might just go unrivaled at the one dollar price point. How do I know? I added both, of course – on the third one of these I had in as many days.

Look, I get it. I realize it’s still a value sized burger – barely big enough as a snack for some people – and I realize it’s going to have the inherent fast food hamburger flaws. The game has changed though, and for a value burger in today’s market, McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger packs a flavorful punch that Wendy’s and Burger King just can’t match at the one dollar price point.

It might not be Admiral Lord Nelson smashing the French and Spanish fleets at Trafalgar, but in an ever-changing geoburger landscape, the McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger proves that Ray Kroc’s sun is still far from set.

(Nutrition Facts – 310 calories, 220 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 660 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger reviews:
Grub Grade
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Force multiplying effect of sweet onion mixture add meaty flavors and big taste. Cheese tastes better than the usual insipid yellow stuff. Classic McDonald’s squishy bun. Using my history degree. Might be the best $1 hamburger on the mainstream fast food market.
Cons: Small sized patty. Not the beefiest flavor. Begging for pickles and mustard. Cheese needs to be more melted. The absurdity of comparing a value hamburger to geopolitical entities.

According to Burger Business, McDonald’s is testing three new Quarter Pounder varieties.

The Deluxe Quarter Pounder is made up of American cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, red onions, crinkle-cut pickles, mayonnaise, and mustard on top of a quarter pound beef patty. If all that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the same toppings on the Angus Deluxe Third Pounder.

The Bacon & Cheese Quarter Pounder is also topped with the same ingredients found on its heavier Angus Third Pounder cousin — hickory-smoked bacon, American cheese, red onions, and crinkle-cut pickles.

The most intriguing and unique of the three test varieties is the Habanero Ranch Quarter Pounder, which features a white cheddar cheese slice, hickory-smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, and a mild habanero ranch sauce.

Wait. What?

Mild habanero sauce?

Mild and habanero should not go together. Ugh. I was excited about this burger burning my mouth, but now that I know it’s not going to be as spicy hot as McDonald’s Hot Habanero sauce, I’m less thrilled about it.

The new Quarter Pounders are being tested in several Northern California markets, and according to Brand Eating, they’re also being offered in a few Ohio markets.

If you’ve tried any of the new Quarter Pounder varieties, let us know what you think of them in the comments.

Last year, I tried the McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie and thought it was pretty good for what it was — namely, one of McDonald’s many pie varieties — although it had a lackluster crust and weird textured filling.

Well, I tried the fast food pumpkin pie again this year and all I have to say is that it appears McDonald’s is in cahoots with Paula Deen.

How else can one explain the flaky pastry crust adorned with warm cinnamon and buttery taste, and the warm, unctuous texture of the spicy yet rich filling that’s bursting with robust pumpkin flavor and a none-to-sweet finish that will make you swear off Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts for the remainder of your November?

A pumpkin junkie in my own right, I’ve had the autumnal rite of pumpkin pie flavored stuff in just about every conceivable form – and even some inconceivable ones. Pumpkin donuts. pumpkin pie yogurt. pumpkin muffins and ice cream and yes, even that standard, how-the-heck does it taste this artificially awesome pumpkin mousse that every Weight Watcher’s household has run-across. There have been some hits. There have been a lot of misses. But the McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie is one of the few edible goodies that have been able to live up to any semblance of that traditionally rich and wholesome pumpkin pie your grandma bakes each Thanksgiving.

My local McDonald’s wasn’t quite inclined to recreate the Thanksgiving experience by serving me my pumpkin pie on a recliner in front of a picture-in-picture HDTV with both the Cowboys game and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade highlights on the screen, but my store did serve it to me piping hot and in a cute little orange box which made me feel like I was getting an early Christmas present, and not just one with a buttload of saturated fat in something the size of my phone.

Adorned with a cinnamon glaze and three tiny slits on top, the pies themselves won’t win any beauty contests. Nor will they intoxicate you with the kind of siren-like aroma that causes even the most grotesquely stuffed post-Thanksgiving dinner guest to make a beeline for the dessert table. Yet for what the pie lacks in visual sophistication or intoxicating aroma, it somehow makes up in balance of taste and remarkable authenticity.

I don’t know if they changed the recipe from last year but the crust is much better from what I remember and isn’t just an afterthought to contain the warm and delicious filling. It has a delicate crumb and an enjoyably flaky texture, but it’s the buttery, croissant-like taste and baked-in cinnamon flavor which make it an enjoyable and dare-I-say sophisticated foil to the filling.

The filling itself is tough to describe outside of the prerequisite “mmmmmmm,” but I’ll do my best to exploit my non auditory vocabulary ability. Texturally speaking, it’s a bit more viscous than solid packed pumpkin filling, with specks of fall spices breaking up the bright orange. Despite looking like it might have come from a can, it tastes developed and rich, as if it’s been baked with the addition of brown sugar and evaporated milk – two staples of many a pumpkin pie recipe. The sweetness seems remarkably restrained, a pleasant surprise which allows the spices and pumpkin to shine while still providing enough textural contrast with the flaky crust.

I just don’t get it, I really don’t. I’m not suppose to enjoy a McDonald’s pie this much. A hamburger? Possibly. Fries? Certainly. But a one dollar pie exemplifying all that is right and good about autumn foods? As dumbfounded as I am at this apparent coup aimed at the family Thanksgiving table, McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie cannot be denied it’s due deliciousness, especially not when it’s fresh baked and piping hot.

Thank you, Ronald and company. Whether it was Paula Deen and her Botox enhanced grins or just an assembly line of conscripted grandmothers, you’ve managed to create an affordable slice of the Holidays that’s as delicious as it is simple.

(Nutrition Facts – 240 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Pumpkin Pie reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Flakey, buttery crust with warm cinnamon flavor. Filling has enjoyably viscous and warm consistency with classic warming spices and brown sugar sweetness. Not cloying. Comes in a cute box. Trans fat free. Tastes new and improved. Vitamin A!
Cons: Small, as in, three bites and your done small. Super source of saturated fat. Potential cultural ramifications of McDonald’s making a better pumpkin pie than my own grandmother. My grandmother reading this review and forcing me to sit at the kids table for Thanksgiving. Not available nationwide.

Usually, the McFlurry add-ins are mixed with the soft serve, but as you can see in the photo on the right that wasn’t the case with the McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry I received.

It wasn’t a problem because I have opposable thumbs and extremely strong wrists to mix everything.

Also, I like the add-ins dumped on top like that because seeing all the red and green peppermint candy pieces made the McFlurry look more holiday-ish than if they were blended with the vanilla soft serve.

Having the candy pieces floating on the quickly melting soft serve also made the top of my McFlurry look like regurgitated crayons, a color blindness test, and the bottom of a fish bowl.

I originally thought the red and green pieces were minty candy coated chocolate, but after reading the ingredients list, it turns out they’re not chocolate and one-third of their ingredients are food dyes.

Here’s the ingredients list for those of you who are totally into food dyes: sugar, fractionated palm kernel oil, nonfat milk, corn syrup, corn cereal, modified food starch, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, degerminated yellow corn meal, soy lecithin, Red 40 Lake, natural flavor (botanical source), Yellow 5 Lake, salt, Blue 1 Lake, Turmeric Extract (Color), Red 40, Blue 1.

Mmm…degerminated yellow corn meal and Red 40.

After using my opposable thumbs and strong wrists to combine the reduced fat vanilla soft serve, mint syrup, and peppermint candy pieces, my mouth soon discovered how minty the McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry was. There were no bursts of peppermint going off in my mouth, which would’ve make the cold soft serve feel even colder and make my mouth feel like it’s hosting a ski resort. The peppermint candies were equally minty and sweet, and reminded me of Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum.

The peppermint candy pieces weren’t really what I would call crunchy, but had a firmness to them. Even though they were made with corn cereal and corn meal, they surprisingly didn’t get soggy while sitting in my half-melted McFlurry. I hope whatever processed food voodoo McDonald’s is doing to prevent them from getting soggy ends up in our breakfast cereals.

One last thing about the peppermint candy pieces. I thought they were harmless, nutritionally, because they’re made with bunch of corn products, dyes, and no chocolate, but they provide eight of the 15 grams of saturated fat in this McFlurry.

The vanilla soft serve and mint syrup was a nice combination, so much so that I’d like to do a McHack that involves adding the mint syrup to an Oreo McFlurry.

Overall, McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry was a delightful treat, and if I’m feeling the holiday spirit, my opposable thumbs and strong wrists could see themselves mixing another.

(Nutrition Facts – 570 calories, 190 calories from fat, 21 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 84 grams of carbohydrates, 76 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry reviews:
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delightful. Pleasant mintiness. Colorful, if the peppermint candies are dumped on top. McHacks. Peppermint candy didn’t get soggy in melted soft serve. Opposable thumbs and strong wrists.
Cons: Awesome source of food dyes. Awesome source of saturated fat. Peppermint candy pieces created using processed food voodoo. The candy pieces on top looked like the bottom of a fish bowl.

According to the internets, the McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake has been around for a few years, but only available in certain regions. This year, McDonald’s decided to let more people experience the wonder and delight of their holiday dairy beverage-flavored shake.

But why did McDonald’s take so long?

Instead of enjoying a McDonald’s Egg Nog Shake during the holidays, I’ve had to tolerate the McDonald’s Arctic Orange Shake, which is no egg nog shake or The Grimace Shake, a purple shake I really want McDonald’s to develop.

Sure, I could’ve gone to Jack in the Box and had their egg nog shake, but I’m boycotting Jack in the Box shakes until they bring back their bacon shake for an unlimited time.

It’s hard to tell in my overexposed photo, but McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake comes in a pastel yellow color usually found on Easter eggs, Post-It Notes, or on nursery walls belonging to infants whose parents wanted to wait until the child’s birth to find out its sex.

There’s not really anything wrong with its color. However, it’s an exaggerated egg nog color that had me expecting the McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake to have an exaggerated, maybe artificial, egg nog flavor.

Thankfully, the combination of reduced fat soft serve and egg nog-flavored syrup tasted exactly like the thick holiday dairy beverage I drink to my fill to celebrate the arrival of the fall season. And when I say, “drink to my fill,” I mean one glass, because that amount of the thick beverage makes my stomach feel like it ate a meal. Fortunately, the egg nog shake doesn’t make me feel that way.

The McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake was delightful. It was eggy, sweet, and creamy, although I wished it had more of a cinnamon spice flavor to it. But, still, it was yum on my tongue.

(Nutrition Facts – Small – 540 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 86 grams of carbohydrates, 74 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, and 40% calcium.)

Other McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake reviews:
Daym Drops (video)
Reviews by Cole

Item: McDonald’s McCafé Egg Nog Shake
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Delicious. All the goodness of egg nog. Creamy. Awesome source of calcium. Not as rich as regular egg nog. Whipped topping is durable. Post-It Notes. Better late than never for the McDonald’s Egg Nog Shake.
Cons: One gram of trans fat. Unnecessary Maraschino cherry. Could’ve used a little cinnamon. Worse for you than actual egg nog. Exaggerated egg nog color.

CBO…

COB…

BOC…

BCO…

OBC…

OCB…

Oh, hello there. I’m just trying to figure out why McDonald’s decided to promote their new Cheddar Bacon Onion sandwiches with the acronym CBO, and not some other letter combination.

Perhaps COB would’ve confused people into thinking there was only corn in the sandwiches; BOC might’ve made consumers think these sandwiches are all about chicken because if you say it out loud as a word and not an acronym, it makes you sound like a chicken; BCO looks like text speak for bacon; with so much drama in the O-B-C, it’s kinda hard bein’ Snoop D-O-double-G; and OCB sounds like something I need to a psychiatrist for.

Hmm…I guess CBO was the right choice. Oh wait, it ends with BO. That can’t be good.

The Cheddar Bacon Onion Sandwiches are available with either an Angus Third Pounder beef patty, a Crispy Premium Chicken filet, or a Grilled Premium Chicken filet. Along with your choice of beef or BOC, the sandwiches are topped with white cheddar cheese, grilled caramelized onions, hickory-smoked bacon, and a creamy mustard sauce.

Don’t all those ingredients make these sandwiches sound awesome? Sure, pigs that become McDonald’s bacon should be ashamed that they end up as mediocre bacon and white cheddar cheese tastes just like orange cheddar cheese, but I thought perhaps putting them together with onions and a mustard sauce would create a tasty sandwich.

However, both the McDonald’s Cheddar Bacon Onion Angus Third Pounder and Cheddar Bacon Onion Crispy Premium Chicken Sandwich don’t excite my palate.

If you’re staring at the new calorie-fied menu at McDonald’s and can’t decide whether to get the CBO Angus Third Pounder or the CBO Crispy Premium Chicken Sandwich, go with the beef. It’s the better tasting of the two, because the chicken has very little flavor. It has a slightly crispy outside and the filet has a pleasant thickness, but those are the only positive things I can say about it. The chicken version is also noticeably smaller than the Angus Third Pounder, but costs the same.

As for the CBO Angus Third Pounder, again, it’s better, but not much better. The patty was dry, but had a good meaty flavor. Both sandwiches had a lot of bacon and each bite I took had enough bacon to make me squeal like a pig that just realized it ate pork, but it provided a little smokiness and a lot of saltiness.

(Side note about McDonald’s bacon: If McDonald’s thinks so highly of their bacon, why isn’t it an option when ordering their Big Breakfast? It’s only available in sandwiches.)

The onions were plentiful and buttery, but they didn’t have an oniony punch. I could taste the white cheddar whenever I took a bite that didn’t have much sauce, but the melted cheese did a better job at making sure the bacon didn’t fall out than providing a cheesiness. Overall, the bacon, onions, and cheese trio added very little flavor and just the made the sandwiches taste super salty.

However, the most disappointing ingredient in the two sandwiches was the creamy mustard sauce. I thought McDonald’s could make a good mustard sauce, after all, they did come up with the greatest chicken nugget dipping sauce ever — Hot Mustard. But the sauce, which is made up of ingredients like Dijon mustard and horseradish, didn’t have a strong mustard seed spiciness or any kind of bite. It’s a weak sauce, which makes it, as the kids say, weak sauce.

I read somewhere on the internets that test versions of this Angus Third Pounder also included a steak sauce. That might’ve helped, but it wasn’t included.

Weak sauce, man. Weak sauce.

(Nutrition Facts – CBO Angus – 790 calories, 370 calories from fat, 41 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of cholesterol, 1830 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 45 grams of protein. CBO Crispy Chicken – 630 calories, 260 calories from fat, 29 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 1630 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s CBO sandwich reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Grub Grade
Dave’s Cupboard

Item: McDonald’s Cheddar Bacon Onion Angus Third Pounder & Crispy Premium Chicken Sandwich
Purchased Price: $4.99 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Angus Third Pounder)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Crispy Premium Chicken)
Pros: Lots of bacon. Lots of onions. CBO Angus was better tasting. Buns did a good job of not falling apart. 90s hip-hop. Awesome source of protein.
Cons: CBO Crispy Chicken was boring. Creamy mustard sauce didn’t have a lot of flavor. McDonald’s bacon. Cheese didn’t do a good job of preventing onions from falling out. The bacon, onions, and cheese trio just the made the sandwiches taste super salty