The Impulsive Buy » Taco Bell

NEWS: Taco Bell Launching The ‘First Meal’ This Week In 10 Lucky States

Marvo — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 21:00:00 +0000

At first, I didn’t understand why Taco Bell would call their new breakfast the “First Meal.” Why don’t they just call it “breakfast” like any normal fast food joint would? But then I began to see their logic. Taco Bell has their Fourth Meal, which tends to be eaten late at night by drunk people. Of course, Taco Bell can’t call it Late Night Drunken Meal, so the name Fourth Meal was born.

So perhaps the First Meal is meant for hungover people trying to recuperate from a night of booze. Of course, Taco Bell can’t call it Hangover Recovery Meal, so they came up with the name First Meal. Sounds logical to me.

Taco Bell’s First Meal will be available, starting this week, at 750 locations in 10 states. Yes, just 10 out of the 50 states in this great country, which doesn’t seem so great anymore because not every one of them is getting the First Meal this week.

Taco Bell’s First Meal menu is made up of 11 new products, which includes coffee, orange juice, breakfast burritos, sausage and egg wraps, and Cinnabon Delights (fried dough balls with cream filling). Our friends over at Grub Grade have more information about the menu and pricing.

Some of the states that will offer the First Meal menu include California, Arizona, Colorado, and Texas. But not every location in these states will offer the breakfast menu.

By 2014, Taco Bell hopes to have 5,800 locations serving breakfast. Wow. That’s a lot of time and a lot of missed hungover people Taco Bell could’ve sold their Hangover Recovery Meal…I mean, First Meal to.

Image via flickr user mikebaird / CC BY 2.0

NEWS: Taco Bell To Debut Upgraded Tacos Next Year As Part Of Their Chef’s Signature Menu

Marvo — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 11:26:32 +0000

According to Nation’s Restaurant News, Taco Bell has big plans for 2012.

I was hoping they would bring back the Yo Quiero Taco Bell Chihuahua, but instead they’re finally doing the national roll out of the Doritos Locos Taco, offering breakfast at locations in the West, and introducing a lineup of upgraded tacos and other menu items called Chef’s Signature.

To help develop the Chef’s Signature line, Taco Bell brought in Miami-based chef Lorena Garcia as a consultant, who doesn’t have a show on the Food Network, so I don’t know who she is. Garcia also helped the chain improve many of its ingredients, like marinades and seasonings. The Taco Bell Chef’s Signature lineup will debut sometime next year.

As for breakfast, Taco Bell plans to roll out its morning menu to 800 locations in the West early next year. The breakfast menu will be called…yup, you guessed it, the First Meal.

Source: NRN

Image via flickr user Retailmania / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack

Marvo — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 22:20:17 +0000

You know how you’re not supposed to play with food? Well, how the hell can I contain myself from playing with the Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack? Its flatness makes me want to bust out my die-cast toy planes and turn it into an aircraft carrier called the USS TSS (Triple Steak Stack). Also, because it’s flat and has a light exterior, I want to pretend its Barbie’s waif Russian supermodel friend, Katherina, who likes to go shopping with Barbie during the day, but is a secret KGB spy at night.

The list of ingredients for Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack isn’t very long, although, because I feel sorry for its lack of ingredients, I’m going to try to make it look longer than it really is by using the power of unnecessary words. The Triple Steak Stack contains a triple serving of marinated steak and a triple cheese blend of low moisture part skim mozzarella cheese, pasteurized process Monterey Jack cheese, and American cheese in between a nine-inch bolillo flatbread.

With a limited number of ingredients, I expected Taco Bell’s newest addition to be bland, and it turns out I was correct. Taco Bell’s “improved” steak may be an upgrade over what they used to serve, but it still tastes like cheap meat. How cheap? It tastes like the roast beef and gravy from a 99 cent frozen meal. However, that cheap meat was tender and the triple serving of steak was enough to nicely fill the nine-inch flatbread.

The cheese just lies there like its Jabba the Hut after being choked by Princess Leia and it adds almost nothing to the Triple Steak Stack’s flavor. Speaking of things that don’t have much flavor, the bolillo flatbread was not only quite bland, it was also not sturdy enough to handle the amount of steak in it. The soft, but thick flatbread easily felt apart while I ate it.

If you’re going to eat the Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack, might I suggest asking for extra Taco Bell sauce packets on top of the handful they already give you, because you’re going to need a lot of sauce to cover the taste of the cheap meat and to spread across the nine-inch flatbread. I’d also suggest taking more money than you usually do when visiting Taco Bell. Five bucks will usually get you a full Taco Bell meal, but that same five dollars will get you only one Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack.

Video Review

(Nutrition Facts – 690 calories, 120 calories from fat, 20 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,950 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 46 grams of protein.)

Other Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack reviews:
Smidview
Grub Grade

Item: Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack
Price: $6.49 ($4.99 at most locations)
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: It’s long. Lots of tender marinated steak. Awesome source of protein. Makes me want to play with my food.
Cons: Bland. Pricey. Steak tastes cheap. Cheese and flatbread bring very little flavor. Going to need a lot of Taco Bell sauce packets to give it some flavor. Flatbread not sturdy enough to handle the steak in it.

NEWS: If You Love Meat, Cheese, and Bread, You Might Enjoy Taco Bell’s Triple Steak Stack

Marvo — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:24:49 +0000

Update: Click here to read our Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack review

The “triple” in Taco Bell’s Triple Steak Stack could not only mean the triple serving of steak it has, but also the total number of ingredients it has. The latest item from Taco Bell has a hefty serving of marinated steak, a Monterey Jack/Cheddar/Mozzarella cheese blend, and a nine-inch bolillo flatbread. That’s it.

Wow. Just meat, cheese, and bread. I don’t know about you, but that sounds disappointing. Usually, if I want meat, cheese, and bread that’ll disappointment, I just go to Subway.

The Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack is expected to be available nationwide soon, but our friends over at Grub Grade already have a review of it.

The Triple Steak Stack weighs in at 303 grams and its nutritional facts are as follows: 690 calories, 120 calories from fat, 20 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,950 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 46 grams of protein.

Source: Grub Grade

Image via flickr user Moto@Club4AG / CC BY 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS: 7/9/2011

Marvo — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

I’m not impressed with Taco Bell’s XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito. If they want to impress me, Taco Bell should stuft a chicken burrito inside duck burrito and then stuft that inside a turkey burrito, creating a burrito turducken. (via Tampa Bay Food Monster)

Trader Joe’s has s’mores that you can enjoy without having to build a fire. I’m talking to you, Frankenstein. (via Candyblog)

Three words (maybe four, depending on how you count hyphenated words): Baby Ruth-Filled Jalapeños. (via That Bootleg Guy)

I guess even in other countries they need help pooping… I mean, maintaining a healthy digestive system. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

There’s a company that makes prickly pear soda. I hope they don’t make it by hand. (via Weird Soda Review)

Wouldn’t this three cheese ravioli from Weight Watchers be more effective for weight watchers if it contained just three cheese ravioli? (via I Ate A Pie)

Image via flickr user jeffreyw / CC BY 2.0

NEWS: Taco Bell Releases The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New)

Marvo — Fri, 13 May 2011 22:00:00 +0000

This week, Taco Bell introduced the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is made with (Insert Here The First Five Taco Bell Ingredients That Pop Into Your Head. Don’t Worry, I Guarantee You’ll Get At Least Three Out Of The Five Right. And, If You Don’t Get All Five, Congratulations, You Might’ve Invented A Future Menu Item That Taco Bell Will Claim Is New But Won’t Seem New).

So, basically, the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is a (Insert Here Older Taco Bell Limited Time Offer That Also Didn’t Seem New When It Was Introduced) with (or without) (Insert Here Random Taco Bell Ingredient Selected By Using a Ouiji Board That’s Being Manipulated By The Spirit of the Taco Bell Chihuahua).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) weighs 206 grams and has 470 calories, 20 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1120 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, and 19 grams of protein.

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) will be available for a limited time and retail for (Insert Here Special Price That’s Under $1) at participating restaurants. We Rate Stuff posted a review of the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New).

Source: Grub Grade and Taco Bell

Image via flickr user Like_the_Grand_Canyon / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco

Marvo — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 01:47:12 +0000

I wanted to ask the slightly above minimum wage earning person behind the Taco Bell counter if I could buy a large container of their nacho cheese sauce.

I didn’t ask because I wanted to be a dick, I asked because if all it takes is their nacho cheese sauce to magically come up with new menu items, like turning their Double Decker Taco into a Cheesy Double Decker Taco, then I’d rather to do it myself. I could also use it as a prop to act out what I imagine the Taco Bell new product brainstorming session was like when the Cheesy Double Decker Taco was created.

Taco Bell Executive #1: We need a new product for next month and I need it right now. And I need it to be good.

(Rumbling among the other executives)

Taco Bell Executive #2: How about we offer the Crunchwrap Sandwich, which has a generous helping of seasoned carne asada steak, sour cream, and refried beans in between two Crunchwraps The tagline for it can be, “Your mind has to wrap around it before your mouth does.”

Taco Bell Executive #1: That’s a horrible idea. Are you trying to kill our customers? Let me ask, are you high right now?

Taco Bell Executive #2: Maybe.

(Taco Bell Executive #2 giggles)

Taco Bell Executive #3: I got it. Since we’ve done a red taco shell and a black taco shell, how about we make a blue taco shell and use it for a shrimp taco. It’ll look like the shrimp are swimming in water.

Taco Bell Executive #1: Really? Lemme guess. You just watched Avatar again, and you’re probably high too?

Taco Bell Executive #3: Maybe.

(Taco Bell Executive #3 giggles and then high fives Taco Bell Executive #2)

Taco Bell Chihuahua: Yo quiero Milkbone Crunchwrap Supreme.

Taco Bell Executive #1: NO!

Taco Bell Bell: DONG!

Taco Bell Executive #1: NO!

(Taco Bell Executive #1 rolls her eyes.)

Taco Bell Executive #1: All right. We’ve got a lot of this nacho cheese sauce, so let’s just squirt some of it into our Double Decker Taco and call it the Cheesy Double Decker Taco. Are you all okay with that?

(Other Taco Bell executives nod to approve)

Taco Bell Executive #1: Good.

Taco Bell’s original Double Decker Taco is my favorite Taco Bell menu item and was the number one cause for my Freshman fifteen in college. The combination of a warm, soft flour tortilla, filled with refried beans, wrapped around a taco that contains seasoned beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and shredded lettuce gets my heart to beat quickly, although that could just be from the sodium. Combining the nacho cheese sauce with the refried beans obviously adds a lot more cheesiness, and that was nice. However, I didn’t find it to be better than the original, but I did think it’s just as tasty as a regular Double Decker Taco

While I didn’t think the nacho cheese sauce makes it better, I do think it makes it several times messier than the original Double Decker. Alone, the viscosity of the refried beans is high, but when combined with the nacho cheese sauce, it significantly lowers it, causing refried beans and cheese sauce to ooze out from in between the taco shell and tortilla when you bite into it. If you’re eating the taco with the wrapping it came in below you, you’ll find yourself scooping up escaped refried beans and cheese from it.

Overall, I liked the Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco, but that’s mostly because of my love for the original. Sure, it’s not very inventive and a monkey with a picture book of ingredients could develop something better, but if you think about it, it’s what we expect from Taco Bell. Personally, I think not straying too far creatively is the reason why when they introduce something a little more outside of the box, perhaps a blue shell taco, it blows our minds a little more than it should.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 taco – 350 calories, 15 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.)

Other Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco reviews:
We Rate Stuff
Smidview
Random Dude Eats Random Food

Item: Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco
Price: $1.49
Size: 1 taco
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Just as good as a Double Decker Taco. Nacho cheese sauce brings on the cheesy. Provides 8 grams of fiber — thanks beans! I <3 Double Decker Tacos. Pretending to hold a Taco Bell new product brainstorming session.
Cons: Nacho cheese sauce makes it messier than a regular Double Decker Taco. Not inventive. A monkey with a picture book of ingredients could come up with something better.

NEWS: Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco Sounds Like The Work Of Creative Stoners

Marvo — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 22:30:55 +0000

Now that’s what I’m talking about, bitches! And when I say, “bitches,” I mean Taco Bell.

According to a post at TIB’s plutonic friend, Grub Grade, Taco Bell is testing out in select markets the Doritos Locos Tacos, which is a taco made with a shell that basically a taco-shaped Doritos Nacho Cheese chip.

After doing a bit more digging, I came upon a YouTube video from July 2010 of someone trying the Doritos Locos Tacos. So Taco Bell has been testing it for a while. After doing more digging, it turns out the Doritos Locos Tacos come in regular and supreme versions, which retail for 99 cents and $1.29, respectively.

To be honest, this makes me a little happy because it’s something I always hoped Taco Bell would release. If the Doritos Locos Taco is rolled out nationally, my gut looks forward to it.

Source: Grub Grade and NeoGAF Forums

Image via flickr user mattieb / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: Taco Bell’s Cheesy Double Decker Taco Is Cheeserrific, But Not Very Creative

Marvo — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 21:37:11 +0000

Update: Click here to read our Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco review

Taco Bell’s Double Decker Taco is my favorite menu item to eat on their vast board of kinda-but-not-really Mexican food. There’s something about the combination of a warm, soft flour tortilla, filled with beans, wrapped around a taco that contains seasoned beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and shredded lettuce that makes me crave it like a recently converted vegetarian craves meat.

It’s like Taco Bell Frankensteined their taco with their bean burrito.

This week, Taco Bell introduced a variation of their Double Decker Taco, the Cheesy Double Decker Taco. Now you might be asking yourself, but doesn’t it already have cheese? Yes, it does, but when Taco Bell adds “cheesy” to the name of a product, it’s the kitchen code word for a hearty helping of their nacho cheese sauce.

The Cheesy Double Decker Taco has 350 calories, 15 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

NEWS: Taco Bell’s Quad Steak Burrito Is Perhaps Their Way of Saying ‘You Want Beef? I Got Your Beef Right Here.’

Marvo — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 19:00:23 +0000

Taco Bell has been in the news recently due to a lawsuit that claims Taco Bell’s seasoned ground beef can’t be called “beef” because it doesn’t meet the minimum USDA requirements to be labeled “beef.” With all of this “Where’s the beef?” talk, I find it funny (and coincidental) that Taco Bell just introduced their Quad Steak Burrito and Quad Steak Quesadilla.

The burrito is made up of four portions of Taco Bell’s new thick and tender steak, seasoned rice, fire-roasted salsa, reduced-fat sour cream and cheddar cheese in a flour tortilla. But if you have issues with stuffing your mouth with foods that are phallic, Taco Bell has your back with their Quad Steak Quesadilla, which also has four portions of Taco Bell’s new steak, along with a triple by-pass of cheeses — cheddar, pepper jack and mozzarella — and a creamy jalapeno sauce in a toasted tortilla.

The burrito contains 690 calories, 26 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 2,210 milligrams of sodium, 72 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber and 41 grams of protein. The quesadilla has 750 calories, 36 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 2,210 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber and 46 grams of protein.

For those of you trying to keep your girlish figure, Taco Bell is also offering a Double Steak Burrito and Quesadilla. Actually, since the Double Steak Burrito has 610 calories, 10 grams of saturated fat, and 1,720 milligrams of sodium, while the quesadilla has 660 calories 13 grams of saturated fat, and 1,720 milligrams of sodium, I really meant to say “for those of you trying to ruin your girlish figure.”

Image via flickr user Loren Javier / CC BY ND 2.0

THE DAY IN REVIEWS – 1/4/2011

Marvo — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 04:00:11 +0000

Here are a few product review posted today from other blogs we follow.

I guess today is Taco Bell Beefy Crunch Burrito Review Day! Merry Diarrhea! (via Junk Food Betty, An Immovable Feast and Would I Buy It Again)

Sometime I wish Russet potatoes were never created and all French fries and potato chips were made from sweet potatoes. It would give me the option of dying either from too much saturated fat or vitamin A poisoning. (via Food Junk)

Godiva Gems Peppermint Truffles? Geez, what a great name to remind me I’m buying overpriced chocolate. (via Candyblog)

Chick-fil-A has a new Spicy Chicken Biscuit sandwich. I bet the devil would love that. (via Grub Grade)

Adding peppermint with chilis in a chocolate bar? Isn’t that like adding fuel to the fire or putting Snookie in a tanning bed after getting a spray-on tan? Someone’s going to get burned. (via Chocolate Reviews)

Image via flickr user Chris22090 / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: Taco Bell Creates Super Junk Food By Combining Flamin’ Hot Fritos With A Burrito

Marvo — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 21:29:17 +0000

Taco Bell’s new Beefy Crunch Burrito starts out like 70 percent of the Taco Bell menu with seasoned ground beef. Then it’s followed by ingredients found in 50-60 percent of Taco Bell’s menu: rice, nacho cheese sauce and sour cream. Then it’s wrapped in a flour tortilla, which is used by around 60 percent of Taco Bell’s menu items.

However, the Flamin’ Hot Fritos stuffed inside the Beefy Crunch Burrito is a brand new ingredient that’s only in the Beefy Crunch Burrito. But knowing Taco Bell, it will eventually end up in tacos, Crunchwraps, quesadillas, nachos, Gorditas, Chalupas and salads.

A Beefy Crunch Burrito has 510 calories, 200 calories from fat, 22 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 1250 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar and 15 grams of protein.

Source: Grub Grade

Image via flickr user Like_the_Grand_Canyon / CC BY 2.0

THE WEEK IN REVIEWS – 11/27/2010

Marvo — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 10:31:45 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Fruitcakes are the cassette tape of the dessert world, because I can’t believe companies still make them. (via The Surfing Pizza)

The UK has a minty chocolate candy bar that’s meant to be eaten after dinner called After Eight. Is there also a senior citizen version called After Five Thirty? (via Foodstuff Finds)

There’s a Donkey Kong Energy Drink. I wonder if it’s possible to recycle the can by throwing it down a structure to try and thwart a pudgy Italian American plumber in red overalls from rescuing his girlfriend. (via Caffeine King)

You know what homemade Mountain Dew scented shampoo is good for? Attracting skateboarders, Call of Duty players and trademark lawyers. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

When I read its name, I thought Dear Girl Thunder was a Japanese candy bar that causes flatulence. I was wrong. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

To write this sentence about Would I Buy It Again’s review of the Taco Bell Grilled Stuft Chicken Enchilada Burrito, I just used words from other sentences I’ve written to create a new sentence. (via Would I Buy It Again)

Image via flickr user michfiel / CC BY SA 2.0

REVIEW: Taco Bell XXL Chalupa, Fire-Roasted Border Salsa & Verde Border Salsa

Kelley — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 13:14:43 +0000

XXL Chalupa

Described by Taco Bell’s website as “A double-sized Chalupa shell packed with seasoned ground beef, crispy lettuce, tomatoes, real cheddar cheese and nacho cheese sauce, red strips and topped with reduced fat sour cream,” the XXL Chalupa flies in the face of common sense and the recommendations of any nutritionist. Weighing in at 266 grams, the XXL Chalupa is 57.5% larger than the original Chalupa. I have this delightful mental image of Jillian Michaels screaming at the XXL Chalupa with all the rage she can muster, which, if The Biggest Loser is any indication, is a lot of rage.

I also like the inclusion of “reduced fat sour cream.” That has to be a little wink-wink nudge-nudge from Taco Bell to us, right? It’s like they’re saying, “C’mon, we know you’re going to order a Diet Coke to go along with this monstrosity.” Taco Bell has their finger on the erratic pulse of their clientele.

I certainly did not expect to be handed a giant box when I ordered my XXL Chalupa, but that is what I got. I’m not sure the box was entirely necessary – they probably could have wrapped it up pretty snug – but it’s smart from a marketing standpoint. I felt like I’d just purchased something with real heft. An event, not just a taco.

It does not fail to impress upon opening the box, either. The XXL Chalupa actually has sides that curve up to keep all of its innards from spilling out like a teenager in a horror movie who just got eviscerated because he had sex with his girlfriend. Poor guy, he just wanted a little action. In a barn. In the middle of nowhere. With a crazy serial killer on the loose. I mean c’mon, he’s got his priorities in order.

As you can see, my chalupa had a containment breach, and all the sour cream on my XXL Chalupa was globbed onto one side, half of it not inside the taco. Whatever, it happens. You roll the dice when you get fast food; you’re lucky if you actually get what you ordered, and you’re lucky if all the ingredients are distributed properly. That is just the way of things.

The shell was crispy and fried to perfection. It seemed more deep-fried than a normal Chalupa; it actually reminded me strongly of frybread, which is definitely a good thing. There was just the right amount of Taco Bell’s mystery ground beef and nacho cheese sauce. I think the addition of the nacho cheese really stepped up the flavor. It also had shredded cheese, but I always found the shredded cheese on fast food tacos to be weak and almost flavorless. Nacho cheese all the way.

The lettuce was nice and crunchy and the tomatoes were tasty and fresh. Unfortunately, the red strips were buried between the ground beef and the rest of the toppings, resulting in soggy tortilla that added no flavor to the party. I topped one half of my XXL Chalupa with Fire-Roasted Salsa and the other with Salsa Verde, but we’ll get into those later, as I want them to get their own time in the spotlight. I will say, however, that both worked nicely on the taco.

Overall, I really enjoyed the XXL Chalupa. I challenged myself to finish the whole thing, and much to my disbelief, I actually did it! And then I felt miserable for two hours afterward. And I still have heartburn. I think I covered my second, third, and fourthmeal. But it was worth it! I may have a dainty feminine appetite, but I think even a big guy with a big appetite would feel satisfied with the XXL Chalupa. There’s no actual new ingredients here, but the amount of them in the taco is impressive. You’ll find the contents of a regular taco to be severely anemic after eating the XXL Chalupa. You’ll also need at least two napkins – while the turned up sides do help a little, this is something you certainly wouldn’t want to eat while driving.

Now then, to the Border Salsas!

I have always enjoyed Taco Bell’s Border Sauces. I love condiments in general, (I even had a shirt with a mustard packet on it from the now-defunct Condiment Packet Museum that I wore in public) but for some reason, Border Sauces were always my favorite. Mild, Hot, Fire, it didn’t matter. As a youth, I would just rip them open and empty the entire contents of the packet into my mouth. In hindsight, putting a sauce packet to my lips was not the most sanitary thing in the world, but, considering the strange things I ate as a child, I’ve probably put worse things in my mouth.

No comments from the peanut gallery, please.

So you can see why I was excited when Taco Bell announced two new members of the family, Verde and Fire-Roasted Border Salsas. Note that these are salsas, not sauces. Given, “salsa” is the Spanish word for “sauce,” but I think most Americans associate “salsa” with the chunky dip, which makes me wonder if these new Border Salsas are going to be more chunky than the already existing Border Sauces.

Fire-Roasted Border Salsa

It may be hard to see in the picture, but there are lots of dark flecks in Fire-Roasted Border Salsa. I think those are supposed to represent the char you get when you actually roast tomatoes. I decided it would be a little more hygienic to squirt the salsas onto a plate instead of sucking the condiment straight out of the packet, and it definitely came out thicker than the three existing Border Sauces.

The flavor is surprisingly rich; it’s got a sweet heat that isn’t too spicy but sneaks up on you gradually. I could really taste the underlying tomato flavor, but it wasn’t a cheap tomato-y flavor, like, say, ketchup. The vinegar complemented the rich flavor of the tomatoes. Fire-roasted tomatoes are actually the second ingredient listed, which means that rich flavor is genuine.

I have to say, I was quite pleasantly surprised by Fire-Roasted Border Salsa. The three existing Border Sauces – Mild, Hot and Fire – are pretty much just what they’re called. “Generic hot sauce,” not that I think there’s anything wrong with that. But Fire-Roasted has a real flavor, and while I have never allowed ketchup to enter my home, I wouldn’t mind having a bottle of this around. It would be great on a hot dog. Actually, since I demanded a fistful of each of the new flavors, I could make that dream happen.

I also like the message on the packet – timely!

Verde Border Salsa

You can see the flecks much more clearly in the Salsa Verde. They could be either green chile pepper or tomatillo, which are the second and third ingredients in this salsa. Again, it came out of the packet thicker than the Border Sauces, and again, it had a depth of flavor that they lack.

The vinegar plays well with the pepper and tomatillo flavors, too. However, unlike Fire-Roasted, Salsa Verde has more of a vinegar twang with the chile pepper for a mild spice, instead of the sweet/spice combination of the Fire-Roasted. The depth of flavor seems to come from the tomatillo, which tastes great, and also has a tartness that works with the vinegar. Interestingly, I have a feeling that many people in this country don’t actually know what a tomatillo tastes like, which may leave them wondering what mysterious flavor is in this salsa. Kudos to Taco Bell for actually introducing people to an authentic Mexican flavor, for once!

Apparently, Taco Bell thinks “Spanish” is a synonym for “fancy.” Those same people who have never eaten a tomatillo are the same people who will think this is true.

All in all, I loved both new Border Salsas and think Taco Bell really outdid themselves. If only they could put forth this kind of effort on all their new menu items. Between these and their Cantina Tacos, they seem to be heading in the right direction.

(Nutrition Facts – XXL Chalupa – 1 taco (266 grams) – 650 calories, 350 calories from fat, 39 grams total of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,300 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of dietary fiber, 6 gram of sugars and 23 grams of protein.)

Other XXL Chalupa reviews:
Does It Hit The Spot
Grub Grade
We Rate Stuff
Tedquarters
Corner Booth

Item: Taco Bell XXL Chalupa, Fire-Roasted Border Salsa & Verde Border Salsa
Price: $2.79 for the XXL Chalupa; both Border Salsas free
Size: 1 taco (266 grams); 2 salsa packets
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 8 out of 10 (XXL Chalupa)
Rating: 10 out of 10 (Fire-Roasted Border Salsa)
Rating: 10 out of 10 (Verde Border Salsa)
Pros: XXL Chalupa – Had tons of fillings. Frybread-like shell. Jillian Michaels screaming at a taco. Crisp, fresh toppings. Lots of nacho cheese sauce. The feeling of victory when I conquered the whole thing. Border Salsas – Had lots of flavor depth. Actual fire-roasted tomatoes used in Fire-Roasted. Squirting Taco Bell sauce onto a hot dog. Little char flecks. Verde had great mix of twang and spice. Great tomatillo taste. Taco Bell teaching gringos about tomatillos.
Cons: XXL Chalupa – Sour cream unevenly distributed. Fitting into an XXL shirt if I keep eating them. Can be quite messy. Unfair evisceration. Soggy red tortilla strips. Heartburn. Border Salsas – The fact that I can only get them at Taco Bell and not in gallon jars. Possibility of contracting infectious diseases by sucking on the packets. Gringos thinking “Spanish” and “fancy” mean the same thing. Ketchup.

THE WEEK IN REVIEWS – 10/9/2010

Marvo — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 10:00:29 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we like.

I firmly believe if you’re going to name your product after poop, it should taste like shit. I also believe if you name your child after the alcohol you were drunk on when they were conceived, you should have your child taken away. (via The Candy Enthusiast)

Taco Bell’s Chalupa is now gigantesco. If only Taco Bell’s menu items were a bit more creativo. (via Does It Hit The Spot and Google Translate)

Boo Berry Cereal is neither scary nor delicious. Actually, I take that back. Boo Berry Cereal is scary because it’s not delicious. (via Rodzilla Reviews)

I’m disappointed that something called Slightly Naughty Jam doesn’t come with instructions on how to use it in the bedroom. (via Foodstuff Finds)

These gummy koala bears don’t look like koalas, but they sure do look happy. It makes me wonder if they’re just regular gummy bears who are extremely satisfied because they ate the gummy koala bears. (via Candyblog)

Image via flickr user leppyone / CC BY 2.0