Here are the microwave instructions for the Weight Watchers Smart Ones Smart Beginnings Turkey Sausage English Muffin Sandwich:
1. Remove sandwich from carton and plastic wrapper.
2. Wrap sandwich in paper towel and microwave on high for 1 minute and 15 seconds.
3. Let sandwich stand in microwave for 30 seconds.
4. Flip sandwich over and cook on high for an additional 30 seconds.
5. Let stand 1 minute. Enjoy!
Maybe it’s just me, but if someone is trying to get ready for work or school in the morning, these instructions are bothersome. Who has time to stand by the microwave and flip their sandwich when there’s either a mustache to trim, mascara to put on, or morning quicky to squeeze in? I just want something I can stick in the microwave and walk away from so that I have time to stick something into something else — a trimmer up my nose to mow down long nose hairs.
Besides the microwave instructions, which is the only way to prepare the breakfast sandwich, I did not enjoy how much effort I had to put into tearing away a piece of the sandwich, thanks to the English muffins. Now I know how lions feel when the sinew gets in the way of ripping a gazelle’s flesh off its bones.
Normal English muffins can get tough and microwaving frozen bread can make it tough, so putting an English muffin in the microwave sounds like it could be the equivalent of wrapping leather around beef jerky.
Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but if I was old and had dentures, I’d double-check my Super Poligrip adhesive or curse this newfangled food technology and then cut the sandwich up with a fork and knife.
If you look at the parts of the Weight Watchers Smart Ones Smart Beginnings Turkey Sausage English Muffin Sandwich — English muffin with a perfectly round egg white patty that’s yellow, a perfectly round turkey sausage patty, and a slice of American cheese that’s not perfectly square — it sounds like Weight Watchers Smart Ones is trying to make a much healthier McDonald’s Sausage McMuffin with Egg.
Is it healthier? As you can see in the table below, which I created using HTML I learned in 1993, forgot in 1994, and just relearned seconds ago, the Smart Ones breakfast sandwich has significantly less fat, sodium, and calories than a Sausage McMuffin with Egg. So mission accomplished, if that was Smart Ones’ goal.
|Smart Ones Sandwich
||Sausage McMuffin with Egg
|3 grams of saturated fat
||10 grams of saturated fat
|8 grams of fat
||27 grams of fat
|490 milligrams of sodium
||920 milligrams of sodium
However, the Smart Ones breakfast sandwich is significantly less tasty than a McDonald’s Sausage McMuffin with Egg, but you probably already knew that. The egg patty has a slightly buttery flavor and the turkey sausage is mildly spicy, but, when combined with the English muffin and American cheese, it’s a mediocre breakfast sandwich. The sausage gets lost in the flavors of the egg and English muffin, which is sad since the turkey sausage should be the most flavorful ingredient of the sandwich. But it’s understandable since the sausage patty is thin and is dwarfed by the egg patty.
Overall, if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the Weight Watchers Smart Ones Smart Beginnings Turkey Sausage English Muffin Sandwich isn’t going to change your disposition. Its needy instructions will give you less time to pluck your eyebrows in the morning and its flavor will make you scoff at the “Smart Beginnings” part of the product’s name.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 230 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 490 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 14 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 10% calcium, and 10% iron. 6 PointsPlus.)
Item: Weight Watchers Smart Ones Smart Beginnings Turkey Sausage English Muffin Sandwich
Price: $2.28 (on sale)
Size: 2 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Comes in a 2-pack. Less fat, sodium, and calories than a Sausage McMuffin with Egg. Showing off my HTML skills by building a simple 2-column table.
Cons: Mediocre flavor. Thin and small sausage patty. Damn long name. Tough English muffin. Needy instructions. Can only be prepared in the microwave. Flavor of the sausage gets lost within the English muffin and egg.