Believe it or not, there was a time when the Double Stuf Oreo was considered the pinnacle of modern mass-produced cookie engineering. Long before the Manning brothers failed to translate their quarterbacking prowess in a misguided career move to make history with the Double Stuf Racing League, and way before Double Stuf Oreos morphed into the template for every flavor filling this side of red velvet cake*, the concept of an Oreo cookie with twice the normal crème filling was something to marvel at.

*Calling it now, within the next five years, we will see an Oreo with this filling.

Those days are long gone, however, as the Double Stuff Oreo has become, in essence, the default Oreo. I mean really. Aside from sentimental old people who meticulously stick to a pre-bedtime routine of dunking exactly three Oreos in milk, does anyone really think they’re getting the full cookies and cream experience by eating the “original” Oreo cookie?

I sure as hell don’t.

What’s more, those who favor the cream element of cookies and cream are feeling shortchanged. You know how I know that? Because there’s a crapload of perfectly sane people out there who’ve resorted to hacking Oreos for the sake of maximizing their Oreo creme to cookie ratio. Heck, I’d probably be one of those people if I didn’t feel so bad about wasting all those chocolate wafer leftovers or incessantly worrying about straining my jaw muscles in an attempt to shove a Duodecuple Stuf Oreo into my mouth.

I guess Nabisco has finally noticed. Like Kurt Bozwell calling for bigger Mondo Burgers in the 1997 smash-hit Good Burger, the company has responded for our insatiable appetite for more creme filling by introducing the Limited Edition Mega Stuf Oreo.  Considering it’s been about a month since the whole Birthday Cake Oreo thing came out in Golden Oreo form, you might just say Nabisco has killed two birds with one stone by fulfilling their need for a new monthly Limited Edition flavor. Alas, and here I was hoping we’d be getting a triple dark chocolate ganache filling in honor of Valentine’s Day…

Being both the Oreo aficionado and failed investigative journalist I am, I was quite intent to take the Mega Stuf Oreo to task and see if it really would withstand more licks to dissolve the filling than the classic Double Stuf Oreo. Because I have the patience of a pre-snap read Peyton Manning, however, I was completely unable to subject my tongue to the kind of attrition needed to lick through both a Mega Stuf Oreo and Double Stuf Oreo in one sitting. So I just decided to weigh each Oreo to make it easier.

The Mega Stuf Oreo weighed in at the advertised 18 grams per cookie, while the Double Stuf Oreo comes in at 15 grams per cookie (slightly above advertised weight.) After separating the creme fillings from the wafers, I discovered the Mega Stuf filling weighs in at 12 grams, while the Double Stuf filling packs only 7 grams. That’s a 52.6% increase in filling right there, which, if you ask me, is a pretty big deal if you find yourself squarely on the side of the crème side of the cookies vs. crème debate.

Thing is, this is exactly the kind of cookie to push me to the opposite side of the debate, because I just don’t see the point in having a Mega Stuf filling over a Double Stuf filling. I also don’t see the point in spelling “stuff” with only one “F,” but that’s a different story for the next Limited Edition Oreo review.

As for the Oreos themselves, forget for a second that the fillings, and the cookies, taste exactly the same. Never mind for a moment that by biting into a single Mega Stuf Oreo you’re getting as much sugar as a bowl of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch. Put aside, if for only a moment, the overly crumbling nature of the cookie wafer, and the fact that it splits apart too easily with that annoying overstuffed sandwich syndrome that renders the chocolate cookie pretty much useless. How about just considering that a single package of Mega Stuf Oreos contains ten fewer cookies than a package of Double Stuf Oreos?

I don’t care where you fall on the crème vs. cookie side of the fence, because as far as I can tell, ten less cookies means bad for all of us Oreo lovers.

With that being said, I still liked the Mega Stuf Oreo a lot, mostly because they taste exactly like Double Stuf Oreos. I just wish I wasn’t getting shortchanged on my cookie count per container, because as any Oreo lover with tell you, bigger only means better if it means a bigger box of cookies.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 180 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 4 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Other Mega Stuf Oreo reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Mega Stuf Oreo
Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 13.2 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Classic Double Stuf Oreo taste is preserved. Crunchy chocolate cookie. More lickable filling than Double Stuf Oreos. Real world math applications. Making history.
Cons: Probably too sweet for some. Cookie has a tendency to shatter quite easily. Still not understanding the difference between ‘cream’ vs. ‘crème.’ Spelling “stuff” with only one “F.” Grumpy old people set in their cookie ways. Ten fewer Oreos per package than Double Stuf Oreos.

Something must’ve been floating in the air in 1912.

The Dixie cup was invented. The Girl Scouts were established. Frederick Law parachuted from the Statue of Liberty. And yet, even in the shadow of these noble, brazen, and/or semi-foolish ventures, Nabisco was able to hunker down and focus their energies on the subconscious needs of the people: cookie sandwiches.

Ever since then, the Oreo’s been dominating the sandwich cookie aisle like the reincarnation of Napoleon, and, by gum, Nabisco’s excited about it. So excited that they’ve taken their funfetti frosting celebration in the “original” Birthday Cake Oreo and extended it to its little brother: the golden cookie.

If you are new to planet Earth, welcome! This is an example of an Oreo, a dessert-like sandwich consisting of two wafer cookies dressed to the nines in sugar and smacked together with a sensible slab of frosting. In this case, it’s two “golden” (vanilla-flavored) cookies with a sprinkled white frosting.

Behold, the seal holding your golden gods, grasped in their file-cabinet-like tray.

Pre-opening, the package smells like package. Upon opening…

Holy Jupiter on a motorbike, the waft of Pillsbury cake mix eschewing from this bag could be condensed and sold as a car freshener. Gotta give it to them: they really nailed the aesthetics of boxed yellow cake mix and canned frosting. It smells a little like flour. A little like vanilla pudding. A little chemically. Mmmm. Smell the childhood…

Pre-tasting, I must say the aesthetics of this cookie broaden my horizons: the beige cookie makes me feel safe while the sprinkles in the frosting remind me that change is okay. It has the classic Oreo design, which, according to various internet musings, has Masonic-inspired meaning that could serve well in a Dan Brown novel. A hefty 1/3 of them is crème filling, which is a comfortable ratio. On my good days, I, too, am 1/3 crème filling.

The cookie tastes mainly of flour. There’s definitely a slight artificial hit of vanilla, something that hits between flowers, plastic, and kindergarten. Pleasant enough, but it didn’t quite live up to the smell. The crispity little speckles of multicolored sprinkles add a new textural crinkle and the frosting disc is sweet in that familiar, semi-threatening, “I’m gonna melt your molars! And your canines! And your other teeth!” kinda way, which adds a certain risk to the eating process, and what, oh daring venturer, is life without a little risk?

Very few foods have banked as much as Oreo on the specific techniques of consumption, which are varied as all the elephants on the Island of Misfit Toys. I go in the following order: eat top cookie, consume middle 1/3 of icing, break bottom cookie down the middle of “icing road,” smoosh bottom cookie icing remnants together (like a half sandwich cookie), eat Frankenstein half-cookie, consume beverage, repeat. As with the classic, the twist on these is, with the exception of one or two fuddle-duds, exceptional, each cookie leaving it’s own footprint behind for consumption. There’s a reason Oreo’s 100. This is one of them.

I suspect that, with each passing year we get one percent more awesome, which will make Oreo 101 percent awesome this March. I think this calls forth celebration. These may not be spectacular, but they are festive and ring in a small hoorah for the year passed. They remain true to the Oreo and, thus, the likelihood that they will suck is about as likely as being squashed by gigantic barrels of vinegar. It may not flip the sandwich cookie world on its head, but it’s pleasant with a glass of chocolate milk and there’s certainly nothing offensive about that.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugars, and less than one gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Birthday Cake Golden Oreo
Purchased Price: $3.25
Size: 15.25 oz. package
Purchased at: Harris Teeter
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crispity sprinkles. Good ratio of crème. Nice twist. Parachuting from the Statue of Liberty. Dixie Cups. Elephants on the Island of Misfit Toys.

Cons: Doesn’t live up to the smell. Cookies underwhelming. Perhaps too sweet. Being squashed by barrels of vinegar.

What a year it’s been for new limited edition Oreo cookies. The year started with Birthday Cake Oreo, spring brought us Oreo Rainbow Shure-Bert, and Nabisco recently released Candy Corn Oreo cookies. It’s been an eventful 100th anniversary for the Oreo cookie. But Nabisco isn’t done. There’s now Limited Edition Lemon Twist Oreo.

The sandwich cookie features Golden Oreo cookies with a lemon filling.

If you’re an Oreo historian, you’d know Oreo once had a lemon variety in the 1920s, but it was quickly discontinued. There was also a lemon filling Oreo released in Japan.

Cookie Madness reviewed the new Lemon Twist Oreo and then made a bad ass pound cake with it.

Meet the cookie I am sure Guantanamo Bay serves to its residents.

Nabisco’s Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes.

They do have a coconut-ish flavor. They are delightful, if you enjoy getting punched in the stomach. They are not Oreos. They are indeed fudgy, if waxy chocolate is the definition for fudge. They are not creamy or creme-mey. I could leave it at that and you would know all there is to know about these cookies.

I’m not a cookie whore. When I want something sweet, it’s either chewy Starburst (I prefer the Sugus brand if you can find them in Asian markets) or vermouth. However, I do have a soft spot for sandwich cookies. If you place a Nutter Butter or a no-name lemon sandwich cookie in front of me, I’ll gobble them up shamelessly. I’ll even eat the Dolph Lundgren of Oreos, Hydrox.

When I first heard of these “delights,” I was expecting a normal Oreo cookie with coconut flavored cream in the middle, and then dipped in fudge. Like my parents, expectation leads to disappointment.

So what is this thing Nabisco is doing to an Oreo? The cookie is a single Oreo wafer with coconut cream layered on top and then dipped in chocolate “fudge.” It neither resembles nor performs like the beloved sandwich cookie.

It’s as if Outback Steakhouse came out with a new Aussie cheese fries and they were just stupid ‘ol potato chips with bacon bits sprinkled on top with Greek yogurt plopped thoughtlessly. Boooooo!

That’s not Aussie cheese fries and this is no friggin’ Oreo. I want to twist that cookie and selectively deconstruct it with my tongue as I eat each element separately. I want to dunk it in a cold glass of whole milk. I want to pretend that these things are poker chips as I stack them in edible columns. In short, I want an Oreo.

Not even on Earth-Three where the Justice League is villainous, Wonder Woman is even hotter and the Joker is a good guy, would anybody there consider this an Oreo. I was reluctant to write this review because I had to filter my strong dislike to write something coherent.

My first draft went something like this, “I fucking hate these fucking cookies that are not fucking good at fucking all because they fucking suck the fucking dog’s fucking tongue for fucks sake!”

Yeah, I agree with you… it’s a run on sentence.

Upon opening the cookies, you are slapped in the face with this fake buttery smell. It was a bit off-putting but my father-in-law and wife seemed not to mind. I shrugged and hesitated to eat one because of the strange smell.

The coconut creme was nutty and tasted artificial. Furthermore, the white stuff was similar to paste and a bit chalky. I couldn’t stomach the so-called chocolate fudge because it was very plastic and had an excessive fake buttery flavor. It’s akin to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter with its weird, not quite butter smell and flavor.

The sole saving grace was the cookie, which was crisp and deep with cocoa flavors.

I was hoping this Oreo would be close to a Mounds candy bar, but the cookie as a whole tasted like an overly-buttery, too-sweet, and nutty mess. I ate a few because I thought maybe the flavors would temper a bit. But nope.

Nabisco also succeeded in creating something with almost every unpleasant texture to mouths everywhere. In fact, if these were soggy, then this depressing cookie would be complete.

I champion Oreos and their foray into assorted flavors, but this specific variety I cannot. My father-in-law devoured them but the poor guy is totally restricted from all things sweet and fatty. Take that for what it’s worth.

I’m all for trying new twists on familiar subjects but more often than not, they fail miserably like the Americanized 1998 Godzilla (who was awesomely killed off in 2004’s Godzilla: Final Wars), but I’m also not for torturing my taste buds. Sorry Nabisco, but we’ll always have the Creamsicle Oreo.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies per serving – 180 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugars, and 1 gram of protein.)

Other Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes reviews:
Fatguy Food Blog
Junk Food Guy
Foodette Reviews

Item: Nabisco Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 11.3 ounce package
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: The cookie is crisp and definitely chocolate flavored. Cookie whores. Coconut is nutty. Trying to come up with positive things to say about this Oreo variety. American Godzilla getting vaporized by the Godzilla we all know and love. Oreo taking chances on different flavors.
Cons: Waxy chocolate, pasty creme and fake buttery flavor. Trying to find something positive in something terrible. Being restricted from all things sweet and fatty. Earth-Three Lex Luthor sucks.

I’ve prattled on before about how, with two small kids and a propensity to stay up late writing dubiously amusing food reviews, I often don’t have a lot of time in the morning.  You’ve heard me talk about shoveling down a waffle while simultaneously emptying the dishwasher, and doling out Cheerios to a creature who knows “Daddy,” “purple,” and “shoe,” but not “Oh father, if I do not receive more toasted oat cereal immediately, I shall surely perish.”  (We’re working on it.) 
”
So I’m always open to a new breakfast product that promises I can eat it on-the-go without having to actually visit a Dunkin’ Donuts, because then you’re always like, “Do I put a dollar in the tip jar?”  They probably make minimum wage, but really: dude grabbed two donuts off a shelf and threw them in a bag.  It took four seconds, for that I’m going to tip 53 percent?  Then you feel bad and put in the dollar because seriously, you have a steady job at a place where you aren’t forced to wait on impatient, sleep-deprived assholes who are too cheap to tip.  Don’t be that guy.

Where were we?  Oh, on-the-go foods.  As we established, there’s value in something you can eat in the car while someone gleefully belts out “Welcome fame?  He’s ignored.  Action is his reward!” from the back seat.  Nabisco is already in that market with their belVita breakfast biscuits, and now they’ve introduced two new flavors — chocolate and cinnamon brown sugar.  The claim seems to be that these are health conscious and will provide “sustained energy,” perhaps meant as a wholesome alternative to those energy drinks everyone seems to love even though we all know they’re just radioactive goat piss.  The touted nutritional benefits include containing 19 grams of whole grain per serving.  Mostly they just use the word “natural” a lot, as in “chocolate natural flavor with other natural flavor,” which makes me nervous because technically cow patty is natural.  And don’t look now, but the calorie count isn’t minuscule and that’s a decent amount of fat.  Nothing ridiculous, but eating these instead of cereal won’t have you shedding pounds like it’s your job.

I’m intrigued by the fact that these are breakfast biscuits, which I’ve always considered a decidedly British concept.  Our biscuits are light, flaky things slathered in butter, whereas these are hard, thin oval-ish deals that crack and crumble.  Advantage: colonists.  Still, can’t judge a book by its cover.  You have to make certain concessions to the fact that these are supposedly healthy and natural, so if they taste decent while being nutritious and giving me gobs of energy, I’m prepared to call them a success.  Also, as noted in our earlier review, they’re made without high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, or artificial flavors or sweeteners.

First up is the cinnamon brown sugar biscuits.  As mentioned, they don’t look terribly impressive — the most visually interesting thing is two stalk-of-wheat imprints that subtly blend into the biscuit.  Texture-wise they’re coarse and unyielding, to the point where I’m tempted to use one to smooth down some spackle in our bathroom.  Biting down, it’s solid but not tough to chew.  It is, however, pretty plain.  “Cinnamon” and “brown sugar” is being a bit generous, in that I’m prepared to believe these were transported in a truck that also sometimes delivers Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  It has exactly one hint of cinnamon and no more, and I couldn’t swear in court that there’s any brown sugar in the mix.  Beyond that, the biscuit is fairly flavorless.  It doesn’t taste foul or anything, there’s just no pizazz.  (They’re also dry enough that you’ll want to have a drink handy.)  It’s certainly not doing anything to break down stereotypes about health food, that’s for sure.

Well, maybe the chocolate biscuits will be more promising.  The appearance is identical to the other variety, obviously aside from color.  You can pretty much just go back and read the last paragraph re: texture and consistency, too.  However, I’m pleased to report that the taste is a little better, and the smell is vivid and promising.  Before you get your hopes up, let’s be clear — it’s all relative.  Getting socks for Christmas is still better than getting nothing, and that’s basically what we’re dealing with here.  The chocolate breakfast biscuits are useful, and well intentioned, and under the right light they even look somewhat appealing.  But they’re still socks.

Of the two, the chocolate biscuits have to be declared the winner.  To be sure, it’s a hollow victory, like a fight that’s called after two rounds when one of the boxers remembers his doctor advised against getting repeatedly punched in the face.  Again, certain allowances have to be made for the fact that these are ostensibly nutritious and made with natural ingredients, and that’s reflected in the scores.  They also fill you up for what it’s worth, and that can mean a lot when you’re dieting.  But they aren’t going to be challenging Pop-Tarts, or even cold pizza, for the portable morning food crown anytime soon, and I can’t say I noticed any unusual bursts of energy after eating any of the packages.  And unless you’re all about the natural ingredients, you can certainly find tastier options out there for the same calorie count.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack/4 biscuits – Chocolate – 230 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 190 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.  Cinnamon Brown Sugar – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 90 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits (Chocolate and Cinnamon Brown Sugar)
Purchased Price: $3.89
Size: 8.8 oz/5 packs
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Chocolate)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Cinnamon Brown Sugar)
Pros: Go whole grain or go home.  Chocolate flavor is decent, though not overwhelming.  Relatively filling.  Easy to eat in transit.  Can be used to sand down rough patches in drywall.
Cons: Deciding whether two donuts merits a tip.  The British concept of “biscuits,” even if theirs did come first.  No noticeable increase in energy.  Not remarkably low in calories or fat.  Cinnamon brown sugar is way too subtle.  Not knowing if it’s pronounced “bell-vyta” or “bell-veeda.”

S’MORES!

S’MORES!

HOW COULD THESE NEW HONEY MAID GRAHAMFULS NOT HAVE A S’MORES VARIETY? GOOD GRIEF!

WHO LEFT THE S’MORES OUT? WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO?

I WANT THE HONEY MAID BEE TO STING THE NABISCO EXECUTIVE WHO LEFT OUT S’MORES! AND IF THAT NABISCO EXECUTIVE IS ALLERGIC TO BEE STINGS, THEN SKIP THE BEE STING! INSTEAD OF S’MORES, WE’RE STUCK WITH PEANUT BUTTER, PEANUT BUTTER & CHOCOLATE, AND BANANA VANILLA CREME!

S’MORES!

I’M SORRY…I’m sorry. As you can see by my excessive use of caps and exclamations points, and a Baha Men reference, I’m upset about the varieties Nabisco has chosen for their new Honey Maid Grahamfuls line. I really thought Nabisco would be SMART ENOUGH…

Okay…calm down. Breathe.

I really thought, since they’re using graham crackers, they would have a s’mores flavor. Yes, it’s the obvious choice, but it’s also the yummiest choice. Besides, Nabisco has proven with these horrible peanut butter and chocolate-filled Ritz Crackerfuls that they aren’t good with the PB&C Flavor Factory. Since there’s no s’mores flavor and the other two Grahamful flavors would probably disappoint, I was left with the Banana Vanilla Crème flavor, which ended up not being a bad thing.

Each individually wrapped Grahamful is 4.5 inches long and 1.25 inches wide, and look like they’re ribbed for no one’s pleasure. They’re made with 100 percent whole grain, contain no high fructose corn syrup, have no artificial flavors, and they are quite possibly the second greatest graham cracker snack behind s’mores.

Yup, you read right. Suck it, cheesecakes with graham cracker crusts and graham Goldfish!

So what makes these Honey Maid Grahamfuls so palatable? Two words: banana powder. I know, it totally sounds like the street name for cocaine that’s grown in the same fields as bananas in Columbia, but it’s the natural flavoring that gives the crème filling its enjoyable mild banana flavor, which complements the crème’s vanilla flavor well. The off-white colored crème wasn’t nearly as sweet as the bright white colored crème in the middle of an Oreo cookie, but that’s a good thing because it didn’t overwhelm the two graham crackers. As for the two graham crackers that make up the bread of this cracker sandwich, they were airier than regular Honey Maid Graham Crackers, but had the same honey and sugar sweetened flavor that we all love and enjoy.

Honey Maid’s Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls were extremely tasty. Although, perhaps I find them delicious because I’m more monkey than human since the amount of body hair I have isn’t much different than a monkey’s.

Now that Nabisco has introduced us to Ritz Crackerfuls and Honey Maid Grahamfuls, I really hope the future brings Premium Saltinefuls, individually wrapped filled crackers with soup-flavored fillings.

And, I hope the future also brings THOSE DAMN HONEY MAID S’MORES GRAHAMFULS!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 110 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 10% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Other Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Honey Maid Banana Vanilla Crème Grahamfuls
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A wonderful snack with a pleasant banana/vanilla/graham cracker flavor. Made with 100 percent whole grain. No artificial flavors. Better than Ritz Crackerfuls.
Cons: Sticking one-hit wonder music references in this review. No damn s’mores flavor. Provides only 10 percent daily value of calcium. Getting stung by the Honey Maid Bee.