REVIEW: Nestle Nesquik Limited Edition Girl Scouts Thin Mints Milk

Nestle Nesquik Limited Edition Girl Scouts Thin Mints Milk

There’s something unsettling about buying unrefrigerated milk. In fact, if opening a frosty glass door of a refrigerator is not a step in my process of purchasing anything that came out of a cow then you can pretty much count me out.

I will, however, make an exception when that milk is Nesquik and it’s flavored like Girl Scout Cookies.

Unlike my springtime tradition of being pressured into buying Girl Scout Cookies from the table in front of the supermarket and later cherishing my weak spirit because nobody ever really regrets buying Girl Scout Cookies, Nesquik Girl Scout Cookies Milk are heralded off on their own little decorative (albeit room temperature) cardboard stand. Luckily for my wallet, no smiling, crafty, green-vested girls in sight.

To be honest though, I didn’t exactly know how to feel the first time I saw Nesquik take on Girl Scout Cookies. On one hand, Girl Scout cookies taste good. So things that taste like Girl Scout Cookies should also taste good. Right? On the other, drinking liquefied versions of food seems like it should only be reserved for washing down protein pills on a spaceship. I was, as you may be able to tell, deeply conflicted.

And then I saw Thin Mints, and my path was clear.

Everyone is always open to exercise their own opinion, but Thin Mints are the best Girl Scout Cookies and if you don’t agree you are wrong. Do Do-Si-Do’s have a smooth chocolatey coating? Do Tagalongs provide a refreshing, minty experience? Can I eat an entire sleeve of Savannah Smiles and feel absolutely no shame? I don’t think so.

Besides, the only other flavor was “Caramel Coconut” and there is no such thing as a Girl Scout Cookie called “Caramel Coconut”. They are called Samoas. You hear that Nesquik, say it with me; SA-MO-AS. Stop lying to yourself.

Nestle Nesquik Limited Edition Girl Scouts Thin Mints Milk 2

Unfortunately, Nesquik Girl Scout Cookies Thin Mints milk does not quite live up to the hype of its green-packaged cookie sister. It both smelled and tasted strongly of peppermint and chocolate–which of course is never a bad thing–but it was missing something. Something distinctly “Thin Mint” that separated it from the cohorts of other peppermint chocolate milk that will be arriving again this winter season.

Could it be the lack of the cookie’s buttery crunch, or the loss of that complicated feeling of fulfillment and shame upon finishing off that first entire sleeve? Either way, I was disappointed that nothing really stood out as distinctly “Thin Mints” about this milk.

Just like how your homemade “special sauce” will never taste like the one on the Big Mac (even though you know that secret recipe), someone needs to tell Nesquik that simply combining peppermint extract and chocolate milk does equal a true Thin Mints flavor.

Although, I can’t be truly mad at anything that reminds me that in all of the course of human history, I happen to live during a time when Girl Scout Cookies are a thing that I can buy with my money. Although, I am just better off waiting to buy the real thing.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 150 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 8 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 40% calcium2% iron, and 25% vitamin D.)

Item: Nestle Nesquik Limited Edition Girl Scouts Thin Mints Milk
Purchased Price: 99 cents (on sale)
Size: 14 fl. oz
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It does taste good. My existence intersecting with the existence of Girl Scout Cookies which if you think about in the context of the universe is really crazy and wonderful.
Cons: Not a true “Thin Mints” flavor. Unrefrigerated milk being a weird concept that makes me question the ingredients of Nesquik.

REVIEW: Nestle Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups

Nestle Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups

It was snowing. I didn’t have salt. I didn’t have a shovel. I didn’t have bread or milk or flashlights. I had no viable source of human sustenance.

Thumping down to the nearest grocery with skin drier than the Mona Lisa, I ignored the frantic grabs for batteries and Solo cups and reached for the pile of Reese’s when it appeared. There. In the distance: Butterfinger. In square form.

Nestle Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups The Duel of Geometric Candy

Two geometric patterns. Two philosophies. I knew what I had to do.

Nestle Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups Reese's v Butterfinger

Right out of the wrapper, the visual difference is immediate with the Reese’s holding its signature round, flat frame, while Butterfinger goes square and sans-fluted cup, its chocolate daring to look a darker brown. Despite geometric differences, both specimens glisten in fresh, chocolate-y glaze and clock in at a little more than 1.5 ounces, which is perfect for making scale models of UFO invasions should you have an upcoming project in World Domination.

Nestle Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups Innards

There are about 4,180 recorded species of frogs. On a good day, the flavor of a Butterfinger is just as diverse: peanut butter, chocolate, salt, toffee, molasses, and…is that cornflakes? Yes. Yes, it is. And it all comes together in those crispety, crunchety, peanut buttery chunks that get stuck in your teeth. You either like that stuff ripping away at your molars or you don’t.

I love the Butterfinger taste, but can’t handle the teeth-stickage. For those of you who are similarly hoping to fill the Butterfinger rumble in your stomach while also looking to save on Butterfinger-related dentistry work, these cups hold promise: the smooth-ish peanut-butter/Butterfinger filling is strong in Butterfinger flavor, but better avoids the plaque-building pitfalls of the bar. The peanut-butter-ish filling puts all the trademark toffee, molassas, corn flakey flavors in a smoother medium. Similar to the Reese’s filling, it’s a dense concoction with a crumbly and dry quality that contrasts the fudgy exterior.

That outer chocolate shell is slightly thicker than Reese’s, but holds a fudgy texture that matches up toe-to-toe with its competitor. This is a super sweet, milky chocolate and incredibly smooth. Unfortunately, while the sweetness and smooth-ivity is high, the actual chocolate flavor is a bit dim on its own.

Despite minor chocolate pitfalls, it looks like we’ve got a solid new confection in the ring. While it doesn’t surpass my Reese’s, it does offer up that molasses, corn syrup, peanut-buttery love in a tasty, affordable format. If you have the slightest a pocket of fondness for Bart Simpson’s favorite candy, I’d say pick one up. It may be sweet enough to distract you into spontaneously jaywalking across a side street, but just be sure to look both ways before you start eating and you should have a good candy/jaywalking experience.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package/2 cups – 230 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Nestle Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups
Purchased Price: 50 cents (on sale)
Size: 2 cups
Purchased at: Kroger
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Crumbly Butterfinger filling. Contrasts in texture. Low teeth-stickage ratio. No fluted cups. Makes good eating during an ice storm. Pondering the diversity of frog species.
Cons: May be too sweet for some. Encourages Butterfinger-induced dentistry work. Jaywalking. World domination. Walking in a winter vortex.

REVIEW: Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts Candy Bar

Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts Candy Bar

Who doesn’t want things when they want them? For a culture that has found a way to hasten the delivery of materials in nearly every facet of life, we have yet to master the forever elusive and infinitely-adored Girl Scout Cookie. Unavailable anywhere but from the hands of the enterprising young scouts themselves, these cookies cannot be a more prized item. I’ve seen grown adults hoard these delicious treats like canned peaches in a 1962 bomb shelter.

One guy I knew could fill a tractor trailer with all the boxes of Tagalongs he’d stockpiled through the years. Another friend packed a large freezer in her garage with boxes upon boxes of Thin Mints, swearing that they tasted even better partially-thawed. All of this makes me believe that after the apocalypse, only two things will populate the earth: Cockroaches and frozen boxes of Samoas.

However, every year, the rest of us are forced to wait until Girl Scout Cookies go on sale. I know that when that much-anticipated order form starts making the rounds at the office, delicious and enticing visions of Thin Mints and my beloved Trefoils begin to dance through my head. But having a whole box of cookies (or more) to yourself is a spare-tire-inducing event. Good thing the Girl Scouts have teamed up with Nestlé to create Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Girl Scouts candy bars. Now I can have the taste of authentic Girl Scout cookies in a bite-sized package TODAY. For a limited time.

Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts Candy Bar Bars

Since Thin Mints are the most popular Girl Scout Cookie of all time, it makes sense to review the Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts candy bar. True fans will not be disappointed. The Nestlé Crunch Thin Mints candy bar is a very nice amalgamation of everything we love about original Crunch bars and Thin Mints: “Dark chocolate cookie wafers and mint chocolate créme, topped with airy crispies.” You get two bars in a wrapper, so it’s double the pleasure, double the fun. The candy tastes like the real thing except for the “airy crispie” bits, but those add a nice texture.

If you think about it, these Nestlé Crunch Thin Mints candy bars are like an ultra-light, super-portable box of cookies! Way to go, Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts candy bars! Yes, that’s an overly wordy title for something with a delightfully simple flavor. They’ve definitely got the “mint” part down with the tasty créme, but the “thin” part must have (thankfully) been lost in translation because these bars are pretty thick and coated in dense dark chocolate. You can’t go wrong with more dark chocolate.

Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts Candy Bar Innards

Also, the layered cookie wafers create a more delicate crunch than the original Thin Mint cookies which is pretty awesome. We’re talking crispy — As crispy as your burnout neighbor in college who always wore socks with soccer sandals and kept showing up asking if you had any salsa.

Those of us who adore Thin Mints may agree that waiting for Thin Mints to come out once per year is a real trial, so the Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts candy bars are a nice stop-gap. Impatient cookie hoarders rejoice!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 200 calories, 100 fat calories, 11 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 0% Calcium, 4% Iron, 10% Vitamin C, and 0% Vitamin A.)

Item: Nestlé Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts Candy Bar
Purchased Price: $1.19
Size: 1.3 ounces (36.8 grams)
Purchased at: CVS
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Cookie hoarding. Dense dark chocolate coating. Airy crispies. Double your pleasure.
Cons: Having to wait 12 months for delicious Girl Scout Cookies. Socks with sandals. Spare tires. Only available for a limited time.

NEWS: Nestle Crunch Girl Scout Candy Bars Will Be Hitting Store Shelves Next Month

Girl Scout Cookies

Update: Click here to read our Nestle Crunch Limited Edition Thin Mints Girl Scouts Candy Bar review

A few of months ago, the internet went crazy when an image of a Nestle Crunch Girl Scout Thin Mints candy bar was posted on Reddit. Some thought it was fake, but it ended up being real, and now we’re really close to enjoying that Nestle Crunch Girl Scout Thin Mints candy bar, which will be released next month, along with two other varieties.

The three Nestle Crunch Girl Scout Candy Bars varieties are:

Thin Mints – Dark chocolate cookie wafers and mint chocolate creme, topped with crispies and a rich, dark chocolatey coating

Caramel & Coconut – Cookie wafers layered with coconut caramel creme and chewy caramel, topped with toasted coconut and drizzled with caramel stripes

Peanut Butter Creme РCookie wafers layered with smooth peanut butter cr̬me, topped with crispies and a chocolatey coating

The candy bars will be available nationwide for a limited time, beginning June 1 through September. But if you’re impatient and really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want them, you can order them through a special, limited supply pre-sale program via the Nestle Crunch Facebook page. Aw, pre-sale…that’s cute. Just like regular Girl Scout Cookies.

Even though candy bars have the Girl Scouts name, Girl Scout Troops won’t be selling them.

REVIEW: Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix

Nestle Women's Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix

Hey ladies! Nestle wants to make “warm chocolatey memories” with you. How do I know? Because they say so on every envelope of their Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix.

Ha! I laugh at Nestle’s poor attempt to make warm chocolatey memories with women.

Do you women want warm chocolatey memories that you’ll never forget? Well just stick of bottle of chocolate syrup into the microwave for 30 seconds, grab a Costco-sized bag of mini marshmallows, tear open a box of graham crackers and get ready to turn my body into human s’mores.

Oh wait. Did I say warm chocolatey memories that you’ll never forget?

I meant to say warm chocolatey memories that will forever be etched into your brain and haunt you every time your eyelids close, like a hairy, chocolate-covered Freddy Krueger. Now that I’ve got that image in your head, ladies, perhaps to cope you should cuddle with a mug of Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa, a women’s magazine and watch The Notebook.

Or guzzle a bottle of tequila.

Nestle Women's Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix 2

The Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix is like a women’s multivitamin, except in liquid chocolatey form, which makes it easier to swallow than a multivitamin. It contains 25 percent of a woman’s recommended daily intake of vitamin A, vitamin E, vitamin B12 and vitamin B6; 30 percent of vitamin C and iron; and 35 percent calcium. It’s also 99.9 percent caffeine free, which is disappointing if someone was looking for a quick pick-me-up. Although if one were to add a bit of Kahlua, it could turn into a quick pick-me-up, which I like to call Wild Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa.

Without alcohol, the Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa pretty much has the same pleasant chocolatey flavor as regular Nestle Hot Cocoa, although I think it might be slightly creamier. I also whipped up a serving using vanilla soy milk, which made it taste significantly better. The six-ounce serving each envelope makes is awfully small, but it’s a common serving size when it comes to hot cocoa mixes.

Because the Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix is made for women, I expected it to make me cry like The Notebook does when Allie remembers who Noah is one last time and they pass away together in her bed holding hands. But, thankfully, it didn’t.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 envelope – 80 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 25% vitamin A, 35% calcium, 25% vitamin E, 25% vitamin B12, 30% vitamin C, 30% iron and 25% vitamin B6.)

*uses partially hydrogenated coconut or palm oil

Item: Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 8 envelopes
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant chocolatey flavor. Nice amounts of vitamins and minerals that women need. Easier to swallow than a multivitamin. Wild Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa. Allie and Noah being together forever.
Cons: Small six ounce serving size. 99.9 percent caffeine free. Doesn’t create warm chocolatey memories. Contains less than 0.5 grams of trans fat. The image of my body covered in chocolate sauce, mini marshmallows and graham crackers.