I think Planters should consider renaming their NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter to NUTrition Elvis Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter in honor of the King’s love of peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Also, to see if anyone calls the phone number on the bottle to ask what little men with pointy ears have to do with this peanut butter.

If Elvis was alive today, I think he might enjoy this peanut butter mixture that includes dried bananas, granola, and peanuts. And for those of you Weekly World News readers who think he’s still alive and living in a cabin in Montana under the name Sivle Yelserp, I’m sure he’s enjoying this peanut butter mixture with bacon…and sharing it with his aliens buddies from the Archon 7 galaxy.

To be honest, it’s refreshing to see a major company like Planters do something different with peanut butter. If you look at the peanut butter section at the grocery store, it appears not a lot of money has been spent on R&D. It’s just a sea of creamy and chunky. With its peanut chunks, crispy granola, and chewy dried bananas, I guess you could call Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter chuewyspy peanut butter.

Having different textures is one of the reasons why I enjoyed Planters’ NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter. But I also enjoyed it because its flavor made me want to put on a sequined jumpsuit, greasy my hair, gyrate my hips hard enough to be censored on a 1950s talk show, and say with a lip snarl, “Thank you very much.” That would’ve happen, but my Bedazzler is out of commission because I overworked it while attempting to put the word “voluptuous” on the back side of a pair of yoga pants, instead of the much shorter “juicy.”

If you enjoy bananas, I have good news; there’s a little bit of banana flavor in the peanut butter itself. Thankfully, it’s not artificial and it’s not the dominant flavor. I was expecting the added dried banana to be crunchy like banana chips, but was surprised when my molars discovered they were chewy like raisins. As for the granola, well, it’s not really granola. It’s just rice flakes and rice crisps; there aren’t any oats. I’ve eaten enough Nature Valley products to know those two ingredients don’t make granola and I’ve consumed enough Kellogg’s products with cartoon characters on the packaging to know those two ingredients make a breakfast cereal.

With all the mix-ins, you might expect NUTrition Peanut Butter to not be spread-friendly, like chunky peanut butter. But because there wasn’t a dense amount, I found it to be quite spreadable.

Besides not having real granola, another disappointing thing about this peanut butter is that it comes in a 12-ounce jar, which looks dramatically smaller next to the 16- and 18-ounce jars of regular peanut butter. Also, I don’t understand why adding bits of dried banana and rice cereals make the peanut butter an Energy Mix.

Overall, the flavor of Planters’ NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter was a nice departure from plain ol’ peanut butter. It’s quite good and has gotten me curious about the other two Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter flavors — Cinnamon Raisin Granola Nut and Berry Nut.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 tbsp – 190 calories, 120 calories from fat 15 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 7 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Other Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Peanut Butter reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter
Purchased Price: $5.19 (on sale)*
Size: 12 ounce jar
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant combinations of peanut butter and banana. Easier to spread than chunky peanut butter. Nice departure from regular peanut butter. Elvis would like it. Elves would like it too. Bedazzlers.
Cons: Including Elvis references when half the readership doesn’t know who he is. Come in 12-ounce jars. Not sure why it’s called an Energy Mix. Granola isn’t really granola. Broken Bedazzlers.

*According to the press release, a jar of Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter retails for $3.99. I paid more because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Jack in the Box is now offering a Three Taco Combo. I can’t wait for the Six Sourdough Jack Pack. (via Review Spew)

Grub Grade reviewed a bunch of natural peanut butters. It would be fitting if you looked over it while eating peanut butter. Or even better, read the review aloud with half a jar of peanut butter in your mouth. (via Grub Grade)

And I’ll see your true colors shining through. I see your true colors and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show your true colors. True colors are beautiful like a rainbow. (via Screaming Energy)

If I bought Mentos’ UP2U gum that has two flavors to choose from in each pack, I wouldn’t know which flavor to chew first. To help, I wish each pack contained a coin I could flip or the cell number for my overbearing ex-girlfriend who would tell me what to chew. (via Gum Alert)

They say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But it appears beauty can come to anyone who be holdin’ this beauty elixir in a can. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Planters has done more things to nuts than male YouTubers with swollen testicles and temporary high pitched voices. They’ve dry roasted, lightly salted, honey roasted, chocolate covered, fruit blended, and nut mixed them, just to name a few.

But the one thing male YouTubers with swollen cajones have done that Planters hasn’t is crush their nuts. However, that has changed with the introduction of Planters Peanut Butter.

I’m not sure why it’s taken this long for Planters to come out with peanut butter. Unless Mr. Peanut is real and for years prevented it from happening because seeing peanuts being crushed into a creamy paste made him cringe like I cringe when I watch a video on YouTube of some guy getting hit in the nads with a golf club.

Update: According to Dave, in his comment below, Planters Peanut Butter isn’t new, they made peanut butter in the 1970-1980s. After doing a little research, I found this link to an old Planters Peanut Butter commercial.

Planters Peanut Butter is available in creamy and crunchy varieties, and will be sold in 28 ounce containers.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we like.

And all this time I thought OxiClean got stains out via Billy Mays’ shouting. (via Gigi Reviews)

Japan has bizarre Kit Kat flavors, but they also have unusual Pringles flavors, like Spicy Chicken. Japan also sells used schoolgirl panties in vending machines. (via Foodette Reviews)

Reese’s may have their Peanut Butter Lovers Peanut Butter Cups, but “peanut butter lovers” will always have a different sticky, messy meaning for me. (via We Rate Stuff)

There’s a Penthouse energy drink? I’ll pass. I’m waiting for Juggs Journal Energy Drink or Big Booty Monthly Energy Drink. (via ED Junkie)

Doritos sure loves colliding flavors, like with their new Doritos Collisions Cheesy Enchilada and Sour Cream. That’s fine, as long as they don’t try to make a Doritos Collisions Uranium and Plutonium. (via Junk Food Betty)

When I have a child, it’s good to know they will be surrounded by items that will give them the advantages and protections I didn’t have, like Baby Einstein or Baby Genius CDs, parental controlled iPods, helmets, the depreciation of spanking as a form of discipline and Jif Omega-3 Creamy Peanut Butter.

I want my child to excel, succeed and, perhaps someday, rule over your children with an iron fist. In order to make that happen, my child has to physically and mentally develop into a superior homo sapien and I believe the Omega-3 fatty acids in this new Jif Peanut Butter has the ability to make some of this happen.

Omega-3 has been shown to help with brain function, so if I give my future child/everyone’s future overlord the daily recommended amounts of Omega-3 DHA and EPA, which is 160 milligrams, he/she will have a healthy brain and hopefully become intelligent enough to rule to Earth. And along the way perpetuate the stereotype that Asians are good at math.

The Jif Omega-3 Creamy Peanut Butter gets its Omega-3 fatty acids from anchovy and sardine oils, both of which are thankfully odorless and tasteless, but still freaks me out they’re in the ingredients list, along with something called tilapia gelatin. Mmm…anchovies, sardines and tilapia, now that’s an ingredients list a baleen whale can love.

A two tablespoon serving contains 32 milligrams of DHA & EPA Omega-3 fatty acids, which is around 20 percent of the daily recommended intake for Omega-3s.

Despite the weird ingredients this product contains, it tastes like peanut butter. It smells very much like regular Jif, but I thought it wasn’t as creamy or as nutty as the normal stuff. When I ate it on a piece of bread, the flavor of the peanut butter wasn’t as strong as regular Jif. But now that I think about it, does it really matter how well it tastes? Because I’m trying to create a being that will be feared by all, not a peanut butter taste tester.

They say choosy moms choose Jif and I say overzealous dads who want to live vicariously through their child’s rise to world domination choose Jif Omega-3 Creamy Peanut Butter. Of course, my plan won’t work if my child ends up like many kids today and becomes allergic to peanuts.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 Tbsp – 190 calories, 16 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 8 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 8 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, 2% calcium, 4% iron and 20% niacin.)

Item: Jif Omega-3 Creamy Peanut Butter
Price: $3.99
Size: 18 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: A good source of Omega-3 fatty acids. Tastes like peanut butter, despite weird ingredients. High in polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. Easier way of getting Omega-3s than eating fish. Being the father of an overlord.
Cons: I thought it wasn’t as creamy or nutty as regular Jif. Packed with calories. Contains weird ingredients, like anchovy and sardine oils and tilapia gelatin. Peanut allergies.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs wrapped in an HTML shell and served with immature writing.

Many potatoes were harmed in this potato chip throwdown. (via Grub Grade)

Milky-white Japanese sperm liqueur. Need I say more? (via The A.V. Club)

Hmm…Which is the lesser of two evils? A dance movie parody with a dozen Wayans family members or a sequel to a movie that could give me double vision Heidi Montage nightmares? (via Pajiba)

I love peanut butter, but I will avoid the Better’n Peanut Butter because of its weird use of an apostrophe. (via I Ate A Pie)

Mmm…S’mores without the campfire and singing of “Kumbaya” by Boy Scouts going through puberty. (via On Second Scoop)