REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

Day 1: Test Subject CH-19 has reported for experimentation. CH-19 is an ordinary, unassuming Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookie. While being paid for its compliance, our scientists injected CH-19 with the brownie genome. Is this ethical? Perhaps not, but those nefarious Girl Scouts have little girls running around calling themselves “Brownies,” so our study will continue, too.

Day 20: It’s working. CH-19 reported digestive bloating, and our x-rays revealed that a brownie is indeed growing inside of it. Satisfied, our scientists will sell some of the other subjects in this condition and call them Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookies.

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies 2

Day 32: We had no idea that the brownie filled cookies were only Phase 2 of a grander biological process. The metamorphosis into full-blown Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookie is complete. After an incident not unlike a cocoa-covered version of that scene from Aliens, the brownie chestburster has entirely taken over CH-19 (Sigourney Weaver wouldn’t answer our phone calls). Its blondie exterior is now the earthy color of fresh soil, and he is emitting a scent similar to your grandma’s kitchen during the county fair bake sale.

Day 42: Dissecting CH-19 for taste testing, the soft, chip-stuffed exterior of the roughly Pog-sized (only real ‘90s cookies remember!) treat crumbled easily, revealing its dense, crumb-spewing innards.

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies 3

Its base flavor is remarkably similar to regular Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookies: buttery, moist, and straddling the border of cloyingly sweet with its noticeable brown sugar undertones and added sugariness from the exploding chocolate chip morsels. At first, a blind taste tester might not even be able to discern post-transformation CH-19 from his original state.

However, further analysis reveals CH-19’s new superpower: the power of the chew. By chewing, chewing, and continuing to chew until your jawbones experience karoshi (word of the day, kids!), new depths of flavor are unearthed. First comes a dull cocoa, which quickly becomes a doughy richness that has some genuine fudge notes. This comparatively subdued cocoa taste pairs well with the chocolate chips’ blasts of straight sugar.

But despite the complexities lurking deep within CH-19’s soul, the jaw exhaustion (ex-jaw-stion?) necessary to bring them out isn’t worth the end result. Without the vanilla undertones or oily base (their uncomfortable sticky gloss doesn’t count) of a genuine brownie, these cookies can’t be considered a reasonable replacement for the actual thing. CH-19 and his fellow subjects fall more into the category of “obviously artificial cookies that taste just real enough for Mom to pass them off as homemade so she can have a gosh darn night to herself for once.”

All in all, the cookies are like when the director rereleases your favorite movie with 7 seconds of deleted footage: the added cocoa-brownie taste is, well, tasty, but it’s so barely noticeable that only the delicate palates of seasoned Ahoy!coholics will be driven to hunt these down.

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies 4

Day 44: Uh oh. CH-19 is not happy. It has transcended its brownie form and evolved into a higher being. CH-19 has entered Phase 4. The self-titled and grammatically questionable “Ahoy!wich” makes for a delightfully potent and extra chocolaty version of a Chipwich—albeit a disappointingly bite-sized one. The flavor of CH-19’s new vanilla ice cream abdomen ups his “brownie credibility” another notch. He’s too powerful now.

The Ahoy!calypse is upon us.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Spartan Store
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Chewy goodness. The ol’ one-two cocoa-chocolate punch. Learning new words. Hey look, Mom made cookies!
Cons: Not brownie-y enough. Not much difference from “blondie” chewy Chips Ahoy! Ex-jaw-stion. Randomly placed exclamation! points. Our new Ahoy!wich overlords.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies

Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies

Chocolate dipped bananas are popular at fairs, carnivals, and during episodes of Arrested Development.

Now the chocolate and banana combination has made its way into Chips Ahoy’s crunchy cookie. As you can see in the photos, these Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies have chocolate and banana flavored chips. Actually, they’re more like chunks. They appear to be slightly more substantial than the chocolate found in regular Chips Ahoy cookies.

Now Nabisco could’ve gone a few routes to get the banana flavor. Banana chips is one way. But looking at the price of banana chips at my local Safeway and the saturated fat content on the internet, it’s probably not a good choice.

Freeze-dried bananas is another option. But while they’re great for astronauts and monkeys we send into space, their weird texture wouldn’t be so great with a crunchy cookie.

They also could’ve baked banana Runts into them, which, to me, would’ve been super cool. But with all the banana Runts hate in the world it would’ve also been super not profitable.

Instead Nabisco’s bakers went with, according to the packaging’s front, “naturally flavored” banana chunks. Those quotes are there because “banana” doesn’t appear anywhere in the list of two dozen ingredients, but there is the mysterious “natural and artificial flavor.” (Let’s be honest, a naturally flavored banana product without “banana” in the ingredients is a bit…well, unnatural sounding.) The banana chunks aren’t like the chocolate chunks. They’re more like flavored toffee and crunchy like the cookie they’re enclosed in.

From the moment I first unsealed the resealable package and inhaled that “natural” banana aroma with a hint of chocolate, I knew I was going to love these. The banana flavor is pleasant and mild, but then again an actual banana’s flavor is mild as well. It’s somewhere between being natural and artificial tasting. Also, it’s stronger than the chocolate.

Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies Closeup

Before I took a bite out of a cookie, I could taste the banana in my mouth. This made me wonder if there was banana flavoring in the cookie dough. Because there were so many damn chunks in each cookie, nibbling around them was difficult and I couldn’t get a definite answer.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a chocolate dipped banana, so I can’t say if the flavor is the same. But the chocolate definitely takes a backseat to the banana. There were times when I could taste the chocolate, but the banana is top banana here.

While I do love these cookies, I had some issues. It appears I was, perhaps, gypped a cookie. The tray has three sections and the two outer sections had six cookies, while the middle tray had five. You owe me a cookie, Nabisco! Also, there were fleeting moments when I thought I tasted black pepper.

Last year, Nabisco released their Ice Cream Creations line. If this flavor was released with those, I think it could’ve easily been a banana split variety. But it would’ve also been my second favorite behind the wonderful Root Beer Float Chips Ahoy Cookies.

But those root beer float-flavored cookies are now gone and I’m sad about that. And I’ll feel that same when these Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies disappear from shelves too.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 160 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 30 milligrams of potassium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: I love these cookies, but I do love bananas (and artificial banana flavored candy). Nice mild banana flavor. Lots of chocolate and banana flavored chunks. Arrested Development.
Cons: Limited edition. Nabisco might’ve forgot a cookie. Chocolate tastes a backseat to the banana. Occasional fleeting black pepper flavor.

REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo Cookies

Limited Edition Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo Cookies

Hello, people who Googled, Binged, or DuckDuckGo-ed the question, “What’s the difference between Lemon Twist Oreo cookies and Lemon Oreo cookies?”

You have come to the right place to find the answer because I have just tried a Lemon Oreo cookie and the new Limited Edition Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo cookie. But, before I tell you the difference, let me give you a quick Oreo history lesson.

A few years ago, before such Oreo flavors like Cookie Dough, Root Beer Float, Fruit Punch, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, Watermelon, Pumpkin Spice, and Cotton Candy became the subjects of fillers during your local evening news, there was the Limited Edition Lemon Twist Oreo. It featured a lemon flavored creme with Golden Oreo wafers, and it was wonderful. The cookie’s creme didn’t taste like I had licked a floor that was just cleaned with Lemon Fresh Pine-Sol.

But that was in 2012, and the flavor did come back in 2013.

In 2014, Lemon Oreo cookies began popping up on shelves. Because the flavor I loved in 2012 and 2013 didn’t show up in stores again, I thought Lemon Oreo cookies were just repackaged Lemon Twist Oreo cookies. So I never picked them up until now.

History lesson is over.

After licking the creme of the Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo and a regular Lemon Oreo, I now know there’s a difference and you Googlers, Bingers, or DuckDuckGo-ers can finally get the answer you hoped you wouldn’t have to read 250 words to get.

Limited Edition Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo Cookies Compare

The Lemon Oreo creme is sweet and tangy, but it’s significantly more potent than the Lemon Twist Oreo creme. If the Lemon Twist creme is like putting on deodorant, then the Lemon creme is like covering every inch of your skin with Axe body spray.

Hey! Remember when I wrote that the Lemon Twist cream didn’t taste like I had licked a floor that was just cleaned with Lemon Fresh Pine-Sol. I mean, how could you forget because it was around 177 words ago. Anyhoo, the potent artificial lemon flavor does move the Lemon Oreo’s creme near Lemon Fresh Pine-Sol territory. But I should add that when a Lemon Oreo is eaten whole, the Golden Oreo wafer does a good job of diluting the creme, much like water does with Pine-Sol.

There are flavor similarities between the two cremes, but the Lemon Twist creme has a little something else added to it. Maybe a little lime? Or maybe it’s just my imagination. But the only real difference I could taste between the two was potency.

Goodbye, Googlers, Bingers, or DuckDuckGo-ers!

Limited Edition Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo Cookies Closeup

As for the Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo Cookies, I thought the combination of lemon creme and chocolate wafers worked very well. Because they’re both equally mild, it has a balanced flavor. And it’s hard to stop eating them. Although, I do feel the Lemon Twist Oreo creme and the vanilla wafers work better together because, as I said in my review of them, I think they create a nice lemon meringue-like flavor.

To be honest, before trying these cookies, I thought lemon and chocolate was an odd combination. I’ve seen it before with Lindt lemon chocolate bars and there was a chocolate lemon Pepperidge Farm Milano, but they never appealed to me. But these Oreo cookies have changed my mind about the mixing of the two flavors.

So if you came to this review because you Googled “Is lemon and chocolate good?”

The answer is yes.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Lemon Twist Chocolate Oreo Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 10.7 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Mild chocolate cookie and mild lemon creme make for a nice combination. Lemon Twist creme flavor not as potent as Lemon Oreo creme. Hard to stop eating. Search engine references.
Cons: My doubts about the chocolate and lemon combo. Not as good as the Lemon Twist Golden Oreo. It’s a slight variation on an older variety.

REVIEW: Keebler Jif Cookies

Keebler Jif Cookies

If it’s really true that “Choosy Moms Choose Jif,” then that raises some interesting questions about these new Keebler Jif Cookies. Namely: with so many cookies to choose from, what do Keebler Elf mothers pack for their kids’ lunches?

All lingering questions regarding Keebler biology aside (if E.L. Fudge cookies are anatomically correct, then how can the Elves reproduce with fudge for guts?), my guess is that it’s these peanut buttery delights.

Why? Because eating them is like taking a nostalgic trip back to elementary school lunchtime. Allow me to guide you through the simulation:

As Mrs. Hartwell continues to drone on about the importance of “the cursive capital I,” all you can think about is how the letter kinda looks like an octopus holding a cup of tea. So you stare at her bizarre facial mole until the third period bell rings, heralding in the best part of the day: lunch. As everyone clamors to the haphazardly cleaned tables, you explore the depths of your Tiny Toon Adventures lunchbox. Tossing aside a Grape Capri Sun (Pacific Cooler is a way better flavor) and egg salad sandwich (shudder), you strike brown gold: a Ziploc full of Keebler Jif Cookies!

Keebler Jif Cookies 2

With a scent like the oily innards of a Reese’s Cup wafting out of the baggy, you catch the hopeful stare of Benny Thompson. No way are you trading your cookies for his Fruit Roll-Up this time. You bite into one of the bumpy, fudge-coated rings (but not before wearing it like a mock pinky ring, as it’s perfectly sized for your young hands) and release an exaggerated “Mmmm!” Benny hides his jealousy with a Fruit Roll-Up.

They certainly aren’t attractive cookies, with the glossy fudge and protruding nuts making them look like something that Scooter, your family Basset Hound, would leave behind for the neighbor kids to put in a flaming paper bag. The fudge melts fast, too, so you hope no one misinterprets the brown smudges on your hands.

Keebler Jif Cookies 3

Analyzing every layer reveals the treat as deceptively complicated. The cookie center is crispy and airy with a pleasant taste of cocoa. This is surrounded by a layer of diced peanuts that add a contrasting crunch texture and a bit of earthy saltiness to balance the resounding sweetness of the fudge, which is a bit overbearingly rich in that “you’ll be tasting this on your tongue for hours” kind of way. It’s strong enough to override the unique creaminess provided by the thin layer of Jif peanut butter inside, which is a shame, because the rare instances when the Jif’s nutty gooeyness shines through are the cookie’s most memorable parts.

After school, you immediately raid the cupboards before mom gets home. As any child would, you experiment and craft a sinful PB&J hors d’oeuvre that looks vaguely like Jabba the Hutt.

Keebler Jif Cookies 4

Cookies like these naturally evoke such childlike creativity. Yes, it’s ridiculous, fattening, and a bit unnecessary, but it’s also the kind of experience you’ll remember fondly in 10 years.

At the end of the day, that’s just what these cookies are: an enjoyable escapade, but a forgettable flavor. As good as it is, it’s been done before: when absentmindedly stuffed into your mouth, the many flavors amalgamate and ultimately remind you of two very familiar ones: it’s just like a Keebler Fudge Stripe and a Little Debbie Nutty Bar made sweet, sweet love and had salty-sweet children.

Not that your elementary school self understood how that works, right?

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 170 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of total fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Keebler Jif Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.78
Size: 8 oz./15 cookies
Purchased at: Meijer
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Jif peanut butter MVP. Fun contrasting textures. Evoking childlike whimsy. “Jabba the Peanutt.”
Cons: Not enough Jif. Loses complexity when crammed in mouth. Fudge fingers. Distracting moles. Egg salad.

REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Cotton Candy Oreo Cookies

Nabisco Limited Edition Cotton Candy Oreo

Before triple Krispy Kreme Cheeseburgers, bacon wrapped churros, deep fried butter, chocolate and bacon covered corn dogs, deep fried beer, and deep fried watermelon slices were foods folks would find at fairs and carnivals and/or read about on a Huffington Post or Buzzfeed list, there was cotton candy.

Cotton candy has been offered at fairs for a lot longer than any deep fried and/or bacon wrapped dish and it’s a lot more fun. With cotton candy, you can walk around the fair and imagine you’re eating clouds. And when all the cotton candy is gone, you can use the stick it came with to make the pony at the fair’s petting zoo look like a unicorn.

While Nabisco’s Limited Edition Cotton Candy Oreo Cookies aren’t as fun as cotton candy, the flavor each one offers is just as pleasurable as actual cotton candy.

They smell like regular Golden Oreo cookies, but there’s a little something different if you take a deep sniff. But if you were to open the package in front of a blindfolded person, he or she would think it’s regular Golden Oreo cookies. The cotton candy-flavored creme is part pink and part baby blue. So if you just so happen to be having opposite sex twins, these would be cooler to pass out as a baby shower favor than whatever you saw on Pinterest.

Nabisco Limited Edition Cotton Candy Oreo Closeup

“Holy crap!” were the first words that came out of my mouth, along with several chewed up chunks of Limited Edition Cotton Candy Oreo Cookies, after eating my very first one. It’s not the “holy crap” one would say when walking into their bedroom and seeing a camel standing in the middle of it. It’s more like the “holy crap” one would say in disbelief after listening to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” for the first time, expecting it to be another lame ex-boyfriend song, but by the end they’re singing along with the final chorus. These cookies are surprisingly delicious.

I expected them to have an overly sweet, extremely artificial cotton candy flavor, but Nabisco did a great job at accurately getting cotton candy’s flavor in the creme. And it isn’t too mild or crazy sweet, it’s just right. Some issues I’ve had with previous limited edition Oreo cookies is that the wafers somewhat mute the creme’s flavor. But with this creme I could still get a noticeable cotton candy flavor when eaten whole.

While the creme’s flavor is wonderful, it also provides an interesting texture that makes these cookies extra special. It has the same grittiness as all other Oreo cremes, but while eating this particular cookie, that grittiness can feel like those compressed bits of sugar one experiences while eating cotton candy. It kind of messed with my head, but in a good way.

Out of all the limited edition Oreo flavors I’ve tried, I would put these Limited Edition Cotton Candy Oreo Cookies at the top, if I was a list writer for Huffington Post or Buzzfeed. I’m a bit sad these come in the new standard 10.7-ounce packages for limited edition flavors, instead of the previous standard of 12.2-ounces, and it doesn’t feel like I’m eating clouds. But when I do eat them, I’m on cloud nine.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Cotton Candy Oreo Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 10.7 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Creme’s flavor is spot on. Creme’s grittiness adds an unexpected dimension to these cookies. Would make a great opposite sex twins baby shower favor.
Cons: Comes in 10.7-ounce packages, instead of the previously standard 12.2-ounce packages for limited edition Oreo cookies. No cotton candy stick to make ponies look like unicorns. Can’t imagine I’m eating clouds with them.