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REVIEW: Nabisco Birthday Frosting Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

Written by | June 13, 2014

Topics: 7 Rating, Chips Ahoy!, Cookies

Nabisco Birthday Frosting Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy

To me, Kevin Hart and Chewy Chips Ahoy of are one in the same. Allow me to explain.

Every time I turn on the TV lately it seems as if Kevin Hart has a new movie. Whether he’s the star or in a supporting role, he’s always there. Now he’s breaking into commercials as well with his latest Vitaminwater spot. It drives me nuts!

I don’t find him particularly funny and it’s not like he’s some fantastic actor either. He’s kind of like that one person in your circle of friends that is only inside of it because he is slightly acquainted with each person in the group. No one really hates him but no one really likes him at the same time.

Friend 1: Should we invite Kevin?

Friend 2: Oh yeah, Kevin! I mean… sure, he’s an OK guy I guess. Right?

When it comes to the Chewy Chips Ahoy, every recent trip to the grocery store seems to mark a discovery of a new flavor.

While the Kevin Hart Hollywood (and if he keeps up his current pace, world) takeover causes me much anxiety, the Chips Ahoy one just makes my sweet tooth an eager beaver.

When I set my gazes upon Birthday Frosting Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy, the festive sight instantly conjured up images of birthdays from yesteryear. My friends wearing party hats, a tabletop covered with presents, Laser Tag, the dagger of ritual, a lamb fresh for sacrificing, Satan… Wait. What the fuck was going on at my birthday parties!?

Good thing I have my shrink on speed dial. Guess we can set aside that harrowing fifth grade milk spilling incident. Well, at least for a little while.

Deep-seated childhood memories behind us, let’s discuss some frosting filled cookies.

Nabisco Birthday Frosting Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Plated

The outside of the cookie is pretty much what you’d expect from a Chewy Chips Ahoy. It’s essentially the basic chocolate chip cookie, except there are colored nonpareils beside the chocolate chips. They just scream “party!” They may seem gimmicky but they actually compliment the chocolate chips nicely.

Inside of the cookie is where things get real interesting. It seemed like these cookies were going to be too sweet because of the birthday frosting, but the cookie to frosting ratio was perfect. The frosting isn’t packed to the point where you’re going to get a sugar rush, and it’s not meager where you’re left wanting more.

As for the taste of the frosting, it’s actually surprisingly good for what it is. If you’re expecting some fancy-ass buttercream frosting then go ask your local baker to recreate the cookies, or do it yourself if you have the adequate baking skills. The frosting is more of the confetti variety, pretty much the same kind you would find on those Funfetti cupcakes. (and really, who doesn’t like Funfetti?).

Nabisco Birthday Frosting Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Closeup

The best part about the frosting being inside the cookie is it does not harden up at all and stays really fresh. I guess getting entombed in a cookie has that effect on things. Maybe I’ll just request to be baked inside a giant cookie when I die. Then maybe if there’s some crazy guy who can make a serum like Herbert West in Re-Animator my complexion will still be halfway decent when I’m brought back to life. Okay, I think I have more issues than satanic birthday parties and milk spilling. Yikes! Anyways…

The whole cookie is pretty sweet, with the chocolate chips and nonpareils and frosting, but it is not overpoweringly so. Well, to a point. I personally would not want to eat more than three at a time. They’re the type of cookie that’s good in moderation. I suppose we are supposed to eat all cookies in moderation, but I don’t subscribe to that logic most of the time.

I kept thinking about cookie cake the whole time I was eating these. They are definitely a worthy birthday cake substitute should your family forget your birthday or if you’re for some reason running from the law on your birthday and don’t have time to sit down for a real cake. Whatever your cake deprivation reasons may be, these cookies have you covered.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Birthday Frosting Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $1.89
Size: 9.6 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Confetti frosting is good and fun for all! Not overpoweringly sweet. Having shrink on speed dial.
Cons: Too much Kevin Hart. Satanic-themed birthday parties. Crying over spilled milk for many years.

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REVIEW: Nabisco Oreo Creme Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

Written by | May 28, 2014

Topics: 8 Rating, Chips Ahoy!, Cookies

Nabisco Oreo Creme Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

“My Country, ’Tis of Thee!!”

Few things inspire my vocal chords to spontaneously burst into patriotic hymn, let alone one warbled in aisle 4 of the Nashville Harris Teeter. But there I was. Thinking I was just going to pick up some ground chuck to throw on the grill, maybe a few marshmallows and graham crackers and…

(Keeps walking.
Registers what she just saw.)

“Sweet Land of Liberty!”

(Double-take.
Stops.
Walks backwards.
Picks up red package.)

In what can only be described as the overdue scandal of all time, space, and alternate universes (universi?) of parallel dimensions, Chewy Chips Ahoy and Oreo-crème have finally come upfront about the not-so-backstage affair that everyone already knew (and secretly hoped) was going on. Well, if these cookies have anything to do with it, it looks like a good day for an affair!

Nabisco Oreo Creme Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies Looks like a regular Chewy Chips Ahoy, don't it?

Straight out of the package, the cookie masquerades as any other Chewy might, sporting the tux-and-tails of a squishy, brown-tinted dough with mini milk chocolate chips scattered all about. Filled with flour, corn syrup, and artificial caramel color, that dough has that special plain simplicity that, when combined with that special eau du preservatives, keeps the chew of these cookies soft, cakey, and pliant, allowing it to serve as the prime canvas for the grainy, supersweet, dairy chocolate chips. Sound like any other Chewy Chips Ahoy? You bet. But, like a good pair of cuff links or the internal processor of C-3PO, it’s the hidden details that make the difference.

Nabisco Oreo Creme Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies My Country Tis of Thee!

Behold the stratosphere of Oreo Crème!

The interior of these cookies elicits a state of fear and awe not dissimilar to the sensation of running into Judge Judy on the streets of Paris. The anxiety of the forthcoming sugar coma combined with the craving for the crumbly, semi-solid mass that is Oreo filling is overwhelming. Sure, the frosting’s spread a little thinner than a Double Stuf and maybe it’s a little creamier texture-wise, but just take another look:

Nabisco Oreo Creme Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies Pile o' Creme

Indeed, the Oreo filling is crammed in such a little cookie and operating at its peak performance, holding the familiar heightened sweetness I know so well. And when that creamy hyper-sweetness combines with chocolatey chippers and cakey dough? Such beauty. Such conflict. Such contrast. And, as Judge Judy’s taught us all, there’s a certain respect to be had for the laws of contrast.

Nabisco Oreo Creme Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies Prescription for Despondency

I’ve been dwelling on the side of despondency lately. Godzilla was a bust. My socks never get dry at the Laundromat. Many of the Jelly Belly flavors don’t taste good together. So much deep sorrow. How to hold it together?

These Oreo Crème-filled Chips Ahoy. That’s how. These cookies single-handedly amended my deep sorrow better than Hello Kitty Band-Aids on a papercut. Think of what they do to a cup of coffee, a carton of milk, that dripping bowl of ice cream, reminding me that summer is [kinda] here.

Is it freshly baked? Can the cookie be twisted and separated like an Oreo? Does it come with a side of frosting to dip your Oreo-filled cookie in more Oreo filling?? No, no, and no, but that’s not what this cookie’s meant to be. It’s meant to be a sliver of Oreo-crème inside a Chewy Chips Ahoy, and boy does it make me happy.

If you think you like Chewy cookies, you should get these. If you think you don’t like Chewy cookies, you should get these. They’re good. Not mind-blowing, but definitely good. Taste them. Upon consumption, you shall realize there’s nothing to be despondent about. There’s even something worth singing a patriotic hymn in aisle 7 about.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Oreo Creme Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 9.6 oz.
Purchased at: Harris Teeter
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Soft, cakey chew. Mini milk chocolatey chippers. Hyper sweetness from frosting. Hello Kitty Band-Aids. Makes you happy. C-3PO. Running into Judge Judy on the streets of Paris.
Cons: Frosting inside is a bit thin. Cannot twist and separate cookie from frosting. Not fresh out of the oven. Doesn’t come with a dipping tray of Oreo frosting. Papercuts. Not knowing the plural form of “universe.” Socks never getting dry at the Laundromat.

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REVIEW: Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mocha Chunk Ice Cream Creations

Written by | March 20, 2014

Topics: 5 Rating, Chips Ahoy!, Cookies

Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mocha Chunk Ice Cream Creations

1941: a time of crisis. A time of panic. A time when there was a shortage of All Good Things (flour, butter, sugar, joy). This resulted in a dusty cookie landscape worthy of a B-grade cult horror film. Bakeries left abandoned. Milk glasses untouched. Girl Scout cookies restricted to two boxes per buyer. TWO BOXES.

This all got me thinking: what if this were to happen today? What would I do? How would I survive? Would I be forced to resort to my savage pre-historic instincts? To wrestle, all deranged and googly-eyed, elbowing my way through crowds just to have my pick between Trefoils, Samoas, and Tagalongs???

Struck by a sudden, infinite panic of cookie loss (and without a noble Girl Scout in sight), I sped to my local Target, where I promptly swiped not one but all FOUR new Chips Ahoy! flavors. Basking in my flour/sugar variety, I pulled from the stash the sole cookie that would fill the empty dinosaur in my heart. The dinosaur that craves chocolate and coffee.

Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mocha Chunk Ice Cream Creations A Very Hungry Dinosaur

A very hungry dinosaur.

Straight from the plastic container, these cookies already promise the quelling of said hunger. A single waft from a freshly opened pack and you enter a wonderland filled with sensory bombardment. Circles! Chips! Dips and dots of chocolate-coffee stuff! Yes, I imagine the smell of these cookies could wipe away the Melancholies from my sad, sad neighbor who never cuts her grass.

But then I tried the dough.

You know that moment in Willy Wonka where Gene Wilder bites his crispy flower cup and sings a sorrowful little ditty? That’s exactly how I felt upon tasting these: the smell of everything I hoped for, now deflated, shuffled in the mix of a poof of very bland dough. It was not brown sugary. Not regular sugary. Not even artificially-sweetened, fake-sugared sugary. Nay, this dough tasted like air. Albeit, slightly soft, soft, chewy, chewy air, but air nonetheless.

Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mocha Chunk Ice Cream Creations Chewy chocolatey hotel coffee

Thankfully, there are a few good chips scattered about. The milk chocolate bits are fudgy and milky sweet, adding little pops of hyper-sugary sweetness. Rarer were the mocha chips, which resembled more of a hyper-milked, hotel-room coffee and veered toward overpowering in their Hampton Inn coffee flavor. It was like hoping for a Furi steel blade and getting an off-brand butter knife.

So, yes, I would’ve dug a sharper coffee note and maybe even a crispier, shortbread cookie, but, at the end of the day, these piddly preferences don’t make these morsels any less easy to eat. Indeed, I could eat these on a train. On a plane. On a boat. With a billy goat.

Or as they were destined to be served.

Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mocha Chunk Ice Cream Creations Untitled Cookie Tower #2

I call this “Untitled Cookie Tower #2.”

While somewhat “meh” on their own, these cookies delivered on their most standard promise: to be chewy, gluten-filled two-bite mocha-chipped mini cakes. I’m not quite sure why the dough demands to be so hum-drum, why there aren’t more chips or darker coffee flavors, or how a cookie inspired by a beverage qualifies it as a Ice Cream Creation, but what’s in a name? At the end of the day, my inner dinosaur is satisfied. Perhaps not frolicking in the daisies, but satisfied. That’ll do, Chips Ahoy, that’ll do.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugars, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mocha Chunk Ice Cream Creations
Purchased Price: $2.54
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Soft, soft, chewy, chewy. Tasty chocolate-y chips. Pops of coffee-caramel-ish chips. Smell cures the Melancholies. Reason to create “Untitled Cookie Tower #2.”
Cons: Overall feeling is “Meh.” Bland dough. Weak coffee flavor. The Unofficial 1941 Cookie Crisis. Sad neighbors who never cut their grass. Watching Gene Wilder crunch his coffee cup and get all hum-drum. Angry, unfed tyrannosaurus rex of the soul.

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QUICK REVIEW: Nabisco Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Creations

Written by | March 11, 2014

Topics: 8 Rating, Chips Ahoy!, Cookies

Nabisco Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Creations

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Divine minty chocolate flavor that’s familiar if you enjoy Andes Crème de Menthe. Wonderful minty chocolate aroma that makes me want to see if any of my Facebook friends have a daughter selling Girl Scout Cookies. The cookies look like they’re rocks from the planet Vrizledor, thanks to the mint green chips and chocolate cookie. The photo below may not make it seem like it, but (almost) every cookie was crammed with mint chips. Crammed with chocolate chips.
Cons: Still prefer Thin Mints over these to satisfy my mint and chocolate cookie cravings, but these will suffice when it’s not Girl Scout Cookie season. They’re not as interesting as the Chips Ahoy Root Beer Float Ice Cream Creations.

Nabisco Chewy Chips Ahoy! Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Creations Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 2 cookies – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

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QUICK REVIEW: Nabisco Chips Ahoy! Dulce de Leche Ice Cream Creations

Written by | March 4, 2014

Topics: 6 Rating, Chips Ahoy!, Cookies

Nabisco Chips Ahoy! Ice Cream Creations Dulce de Leche

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Not horrible, not great, just decent. Love that they’re crunchier than regular Chips Ahoy! cookies, thanks to the dulce de leche-flavored chips. Crammed with dulce de leche chips. Being able to say “dulce de leche” without my tongue getting twisted.
Cons: I’m not sure I would consider its flavor to be a definite dulce de leche; it leans more towards a buttery cookie with a light touch of caramel. I wouldn’t consider dulce de leche to be an ice cream creation; perhaps this flavor should’ve been called “Caramel Milkshake.” Just two cookies provide 1/4 of your daily saturated fat intake. Seems like a very tame flavor choice when compared with the root beer float flavor. Won’t buy them again.

Nabisco Chips Ahoy! Ice Cream Creations Dulce de Leche Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 2 cookies – 160 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 25 milligrams of potassium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

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