QUICK REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Caramelized Onion Ritz Crackers

Written by | September 16, 2013

Topics: 5 Rating, Crackers, Ritz

Nabisco Limited Edition Caramelized Onion Ritz Crackers

Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 13.7 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Same crispy, buttery texture as regular Ritz. There’s a new limited edition Ritz. Made with dehydrated onions. When they goes away, I can say I was one of the few who had them.
Cons: Onion flavor is mostly noticeable with the first cracker and then fades with each cracker after, so perhaps they should’ve called it Neutralized Onion Ritz. Not sure I’d call what I taste as caramelized onion. Crumb makers. Made with partially hydrogenated oil. Why does it smell like meatloaf? Burger recipe on the back of the box seems like too much effort for an appetizer.

Nabisco Limited Edition Caramelized Onion Ritz Crackers Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 5 crackers – 80 calories, 25 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 20 milligrams of potassium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

Other reviews: So Good Blog

*made with partially hydrogenated oils

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REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate

Written by | May 17, 2012

Topics: 3 Rating, Crackers, Nabisco, Ritz

Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate

If you’re a parent and you give your child a Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate, you better make his or her bedtime a little later to make up for the mediocre snack you gave them. If you don’t, I hope he or she never hugs you again.

Sure, your kids won’t care, because they’re excited to get sugar, but by giving them this snack, you’re basically teaching them to settle, instead of demanding for something better. You wouldn’t want your child to settle for that woman who owns 24 cats or that guy who runs a product review blog, so why would you have them settle for a poor representation of the peanut butter and chocolate combination.

You’d think it’s impossible to mess up the merging of peanut butter and chocolate, which is the OG of sweet and salty combinations, but it tastes like Nabisco found a way. Maybe they have some kind of bet with Kellogg’s to see which company could make the least exciting peanut butter and chocolate product. The winner gets possession of the Cookie Cup, a bronzed cookie jar with the word “winner” etched into it.

The Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate box brags about how it’s “Made with real peanut butter,” but it’s not made with really good peanut butter. In between the cracker sandwich are two pencil-thin lines of the not really good peanut butter and a thicker line of not really good chocolate. The peanut butter smells like the cheap store-brand stuff and has a gritty consistency. The flavor of the chocolate, which is creamier than the peanut butter, reminds me of the crappy chocolate in a Sixlet.

Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate Closeup

They say two wrongs make a right, but those two wrongs in between two buttery, long Ritz crackers make a long wrong. I expected the peanut butter and chocolate to have a robust flavor, but they ended up having as much flavor as the crackers, and at times the cracker’s buttery flavor somewhat masked the PB&C. These Ritz Crackerfuls have to be one of the least satisfying peanut butter and chocolate products my taste buds have ever experienced.

While eating the first one, I thought for a second maybe I just got a bad one in the box, kind of like how you get a bad grape in the bunch, but after the second and third ones, I forced myself to drive to the store and buy some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups so my taste buds can remember what it’s like to have a peanut butter and chocolate combination that doesn’t suck.

Nabisco, which is owned by food and beverage conglomerate Kraft, could’ve used better quality stuff in this cracker sandwich, because Kraft also owns Planters, which makes peanuts and peanut butter, and Cadbury, which knows a thing or two about chocolate.

Usually the marriage of peanut butter and chocolate evokes excitement, but the Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate don’t do it for me. They aren’t completely disgusting, but I don’t want to eat the rest. I have three of them left and I think I want to crush them with my feet so that I can listen to the crackers crumble under my body’s weight, because if they aren’t going to satisfy my sense of taste, I think they should at least satisfy my sense of hearing.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 75 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

*made with partially hydrogenated oil

Other Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 6 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Not completely disgusting. 6 grams of whole grain per serving. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Cons: Crappy peanut butter. Crappy chocolate. One of the least exciting PB&C combination I’ve had. Settling for a mediocre PB&C experience. Allowing your child to experience Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate. No hugs.

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NEWS: Ritz Crackerfuls To Be Filled With Peanut Butter and/or Chocolate

Written by | February 6, 2012

Topics: Nabisco, Ritz

IMG_1408

We’ve reviewed several Ritz Crackerfuls varieties over the past few years and they’ve all been filled with cheese. But Nabisco is stuffing their oversized Ritz crackers with something sweet instead of savory.

Ritz Crackerfuls will come in three new varieties: Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter & Chocolate, and Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Extreme Peanut Butter, which has 75 percent more filling than the regular Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls. Ooooh, 75 percent more peanut butter is sooooo “extreme.”

A pack of Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 190 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein. A pack of Peanut Butter & Chocolate Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 160 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. A pack of Extreme Peanut Butter has 180 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 220 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

*made with partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil

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REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar

Written by | November 28, 2011

Topics: 4 Rating, Crackers, Ritz

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar

I can’t think of sandwich crackers without thinking of grade school day care. Unnaturally bright neon orange crackers with some sort of peanut-related substance smeared in between. I’m sure they don’t serve those anymore, since some kid named Billy who eats his boogers has a peanut allergy so severe that just being in the same room with something that barely qualifies as peanut butter sends him into anaphylactic shock. Kids are such sissies these days.

I’m also pretty sure I haven’t had sandwich crackers since those grade school days. I think time has shown that I’ll eat some pretty juvenile shit – I was about to write that I’d eat Dunkaroos if they still existed, but Google just told me they do, so now I’m conflicted – but there’s something about sandwich crackers that makes me wince. Perhaps there’s a deep-seated feeling of abandonment caused by having to go to day care after school. More likely it’s that my friends and I used to scrape all the peanut butter out of the sandwiches and use it like a greasy substitute for Play-Doh. I once made the perfect sculpture of a nose. It was the pinnacle of my artistic career.

These Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar aren’t sandwich crackers, however. These are filled crackers. At least, according to Ritz, that’s what they are. But I can see through Ritz’s facade. Look at that packaging. The cracker looks like it’s sitting on a pristine marble countertop. The “k” in “Crackerfuls” is sprouting a stalk of wheat from its head, presumably indicating that it is natural or healthy. And yet, for the menfolk, it is made clear that there is 75% more filling, so nobody will make fun of you for eating wimpy, under-filled sandwich crackers. I mean, filled crackers. No, I mean sandwich crackers.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Package

In size, they certainly aren’t your kids’ crackers, coming in at 4.5 inches long by 2 inches wide, with a generous amount of filling. I’d say almost too generous, but the ratio of cheese-to-cracker is just about right, although the cheese does squish out the sides when you bite down, making for a less than tidy snack.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Crackers

The crackers have a pleasant buttery taste, just like regular Ritz, but they aren’t flaky and are much more sturdy, helping to compensate for the heft of the filling. The cheese, when tasted by itself, has a bit of a grainy feel to it, but when eaten as a sandwich, the cracker seems to cover that up. The cheese has the consistency of a soft cheese spread (hence the squishing out the sides).

It also tastes a lot like a processed cheese spread, which is my biggest complaint. Ritz seems to be marketing these crackers to a more adult market, and while the cracker is quite tasty, the cheese filling tastes too artificial for most adult palates. I still eat cheese-in-a-can, but I’m not exactly “normal”. I also think the cheese is too soft; most adults don’t want cheese spread squishing out everywhere, and the consistency adds to the feeling that you’re definitely not ingesting actual cheese.

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar Innards

Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar filled crackers seem caught between two demographics. Too large for a child’s snack and lacking the flashy packaging that would make a kid scream at their parent until it wound up in the shopping cart, and yet too unrefined and artificial-tasting to appeal to most adults, who would probably take the individually-wrapped sandwiches to work and then find themselves embarrassed to be wiping processed cheese spread off their faces. Ritz got the cracker right, but the cheese all wrong, and with 75 percent more of it, that just makes that downfall more obvious.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 190 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of total fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4 gram of monounsaturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 70 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars, 2 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 0% vitamin C, 6% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Item: Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Colossal Cheddar
Price: $3.29
Size: 5 filled crackers
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Crackers were buttery and held together well. Using peanut butter as a substitute for Play-Doh. Sandwich was large enough for an adult snack. The opportunity to watch a co-worker eat a messy sandwich cracker.
Cons: Cheese tasted too processed. Kids screaming for junk food at the grocery store. Cheese was too soft and messy. Being that adult eating a messy sandwich cracker.

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REVIEW: Ritz Crackers (Garlic Butter and Honey Wheat)

Written by | September 23, 2011

Topics: 6 Rating, 7 Rating, Crackers, Nabisco, Ritz

Ritz Crackers (Garlic Butter and Honey Wheat)

Through my experiences, I’ve learned if you’re at a party that’s serving Ritz crackers as hors d’oeuvres, you should walk out as soon as possible. Because it’s probably going to be either a party filled with people spitting crumbs while they talk about things that bore you or you’re about to watch a timeshare presentation.

Let’s face it. Ritz Crackers have never lived up to their name. If you live in a wealthy, gated community and you offer Ritz Crackers to your haughty guests, you will probably be punished by the neighborhood association and banned for life from any ritzy activities, like dinner parties, hunting endangered species, orgies, or whatever rich people in gated communities do for fun. They’re a step above saltines and oyster crackers, but many steps below any cracker found next to the Stinking Bishop and Neufchâtel cheeses.

Not even serving the new Ritz Cracker varieties — Garlic Butter and Honey Wheat — could prevent rich folks from getting banned from their neighborhood polo match or losing their opportunity to be a part of a human hunting expedition on a private island in the Bahamas.

Honey Wheat Ritz Crackers appear to be “healthy” because it has the word “wheat” in its name and each cracker provides one gram of whole grain, which allows eaters to physically count the number of whole grain they’re consuming. So if you want to get the daily recommended 48 grams of whole grain by eating nothing but Honey Wheat Ritz Crackers, you’ll have to eat one and a half of the four sleeves in the Ritz box.

Or, if eating 48 crackers in one sitting isn’t your thing, you could also eat six bowls of Lucky Charms.

The Honey Wheat Ritz Crackers have a decent sweet and salty flavor, but I thought the honey flavor could’ve been amped up a little. Its sweetness is light enough that I don’t think a bee would touch it with a 10-foot stinger. I think it tastes like another Nabisco cracker, but because they produce enough cracker varieties to dry my mouth if I were to either eat them all one after another or say their names one after another, I’m not sure which one it is. Also, the whole grain is a little noticeable in the cracker’s flavor and texture.

I think the Garlic Butter Ritz Crackers taste slightly better than the Honey Wheat. Although, at times, the cracker’s garlic flavor confused my tongue into thinking I was eating something slightly burnt. But then again, maybe me tasting something burnt could just be a symptom of a rare medical condition.

Or maybe I watch too much House, M.D..

The pleasant garlic flavor is mild and does linger in your mouth after eating them, so I’d recommend having a mint or piece of gum afterwards.

Or stop being a mouthbreather.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 crackers – Garlic Butter – 80 calories, 4 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein. Honey Wheat – 80 calories, 4 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

*Uses partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil

Item: Ritz Crackers (Garlic Butter and Honey Wheat)
Price: $3.00 each (on sale)
Size: 15.1 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Garlic Butter)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Honey Wheat)
Pros: Garlic Butter has a pleasant garlic flavor. Honey Wheat has a decent sweet and salty flavor. Honey Wheat provides 1 gram of whole grain in each cracker. Funny cheese names.
Cons: Uses partially hydrogenated oil. Honey flavor could’ve been amped up a little. Self-diagnosing yourself. Can’t stare at Dr. Cuddy’s cleavage on House anymore. Gated communities.

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