The Impulsive Buy » Snacks

NEWS: Ritz Crackerfuls To Be Filled With Peanut Butter and/or Chocolate

Marvo — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:00:13 +0000

We’ve reviewed several Ritz Crackerfuls varieties over the past few years and they’ve all been filled with cheese. But Nabisco is stuffing their oversized Ritz crackers with something sweet instead of savory.

Ritz Crackerfuls will come in three new varieties: Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter & Chocolate, and Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Extreme Peanut Butter, which has 75 percent more filling than the regular Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls. Ooooh, 75 percent more peanut butter is sooooo “extreme.”

A pack of Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 190 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein. A pack of Peanut Butter & Chocolate Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 160 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. A pack of Extreme Peanut Butter has 180 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 220 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

*made with partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 2/4/2012

Marvo — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

A Wienerschnitzel Junkyard Dog comes with chili, cheese, onions, fries, and mustard. Sadly, it does not come with a wheel from a 1970′s Datsun Sunny. (via An Immovable Feast)

The British sure love mystery. They gave us Sherlock Holmes and the PBS show Mystery! I wouldn’t be surprised if the Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine was a Vauxhall. Now the British have mystery flavored potato chips. (via Foodstuff Finds)

Here’s a fun little game: Get completely wasted and try to click one of the links in this sentence that lead to the alcohol-related candy reviews Candyblog posted this past week. (via Candyblog)

Trader Joe’s Choczilla Nut Pie makes me giggle. Perhaps it’s because choczilla, nut, and pie have all been used in porn titles. (via What’s Good at Trader Joe’s)

If you hear the name Sweet Blossom Lavender Flowers and think it’s either a women’s deodorant or perfume, you’d be wrong. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Image via flickr user Hugo90 / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)

Stephanie — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:30:25 +0000

I once had a vivid dream that I traveled back in time to 1980. I don’t exactly remember why I’d chosen to time travel to that particular year, but I do recall being acutely aware that I had to avoid running into my parents at any cost. I also recall eating at a McDonald’s and being freaked out that I received my fast food in un-biodegradable Styrofoam containers. Faster than you could say “Marty McFly,” my alarm clock started buzzing, and I was whisked from my 80’s dream world, back to the present. I still have no idea what instigated my impromptu fast food run across the space-time continuum. Guess I was seriously jonesin’ for some junk food.

Which brings us to Doritos. Thanks to them, not only can we time travel in our sleep, we can also time travel at snack time! Old-timey, discontinued flavors, Sour Cream and Onion and Salsa Rio Doritos are out once again, sold in jaunty retro packaging, which I am assuming is Doritos’ attempt to duplicate the success of its re-released, late-60s era “Taco Flavor.”

Sour Cream and Onion Doritos were originally introduced in the early 80’s (… so I guess that means I could’ve bought some of those in my dream instead of destroying the environment with Mickey D’s). It’s strange that the Doritos people think we’d want that flavor again NOW, especially considering that we already have, like, eight thousand other Doritos flavors that more or less duplicate or improve upon the simplicity of sour cream and onion. Anyway, having come back to us now in the 21st century, Sour Cream and Onion Doritos have a robust onion flavor, which is balanced nicely by the sour cream taste. Not bad. But I can’t really tell the difference between this and Cool Ranch — a fact that does little to convince me that this flavor needed to be re-released.

Salsa Rio Doritos are also visitors from the recent past… this time, from the late 80s. And we all know how awesome the late 80s were! I’m looking at you, Gorbachev! Just like glasnost, Salsa Rio Doritos are bold and delicious. These chips approximate the flavor of fresh tomato salsa with chopped onion very well and even have a little kick of heat. It’s interesting to note that this flavor had the shortest shelf life of the two when it was first introduced 25 years ago. Maybe people were too busy being coked up and rocking out in their leggings and Members Only jackets to Terence Trent D’Arby to go shopping for salsa-flavored tortilla chips.

I posit that Sour Cream and Onion and Salsa Rio Doritos have come in special Limited Edition retro bags so that they will attract more attention. Well, it worked. I like the detail and both flavors make charming little additions to the Doritos flavor spectrum, even if their Limited Edition status means they won’t be around forever. Not unlike Terence Trent D’Arby.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bag (28g) – Sour Cream & Onion – 290 calories, 17 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Salsa Rio – 290 calories, 16 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Other Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)
Junk Food Guy (Salsa Rio)
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp
Food Junk (Sour Cream & Onion)
Fatguy Food Blog (Sour Cream & Onion)

Item: Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)
Price: $1.09 (on sale)
Size: 1 ounce 
Purchased at: CVS 
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Sour Cream and Onion)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Salsa Rio)
Pros: Time traveling in your sleep. Retro packaging. Two swell additions to the pantheon of flavored tortilla chips. Delicious, fresh tomato salsa flavor. Glasnost. Terence Trent D’Arby.
Cons: Styrofoam fast food containers. Being too coked up to care about salsa. Sour Cream and Onion tastes similar to Cool Ranch. “Limited Edition” means these Doritos won’t be around forever.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 1/28/2012

Marvo — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 11:20:07 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Thanks to this I can now rub Hooters on my hooters. I hope it burns. (via Foodette Reviews)

If Dr Pepper Ten is just for guys, then who is Sunkist Ten for? I hope it’s other citrus fruits. Cannibalism! (via BevReview)

If I found myself stranded in the middle of Death Valley during the day, I wouldn’t want a Death Valley Root Beer. I’d just want a ride home in air conditioned comfort. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Mars calls their latest candy bar 3 Musketeers Coconut. But because coconuts are big and round and it’s a 3 Musketeers bar, I shall call it the Porthos Bar. (via Candyblog)

Image via flickr user Miker69 / CC BY SA 2.0

REVIEW: Limited Edition Cocoa Chex Mix

Nichol — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:00:32 +0000

You darn kids have it sooo easy!

Way back in the day, my sister and I had to a walk half a mile to the local IGA every so often just to buy ourselves some Chex Mix (uphill, both ways, naturally). Sure, that might not seem too daunting, but you must keep in mind that it was snowing or raining or hailing or sleeting or doing one of the other thousands of things precipitation is capable of doing in the Midwest approximately 89 percent of the time.

Also, in those days, we only had two options: cheddar or regular. That’s right. No barbecue, no honey crunch, no turtle shell, and no jalapeño cheddar blend. Even hot and spicy didn’t yet exist. Thank the Chex gods those dark days are over!

We always chose regular for the simple fact that the fine folks at Chex Mix lacked a Doritos-level grasp of the concept of sticky flavor powders. Here’s a hint, Chex: moisture is probably involved in the process.

Chex Mix was a specialty snack for us, fit for only one occasion: Saturday night Nickelodeon. SNICK. Do they still have that? I’m struggling to recall the original line-up. Ren & Stimpy and Are You Afraid of the Dark? were involved. That I’m sure of. It seemed like a repository for all the, at best, questionably appropriate Nickelodeon shows – a miasma of violence, fart jokes, rubber nipple salesmen, kitty litter, Canadian imports, and genuine terror. Truly, it was a thing of beauty.

We made a game of not eating during commercial breaks, which sounds boring, but as a seven year old, resisting the savory allure of Chex Mix for even three solid minutes proved challenging, especially when the whole bag was right there and my parents were all the way at the opposite end of the house watching PBS, completely out of supervisory range.

Times change, though. By the time I hit middle school, SNICK seemed to be rotting away into a non-offensive, semi-palatable mush. Clarissa finally explained it all. Amanda Bynes joined the cast of All That. The great northern imports disappeared entirely. Meanwhile, in the junk food world, Chex Mix blossomed into an array of just barely differing flavors. My approach, by and large, was to ignore all of it, rent old Ren & Stimpy tapes at the local video store until I destroyed them, and make my own flippin’ Chex mix. I was impossibly cool and alternative. Every so often, though, Chex would unveil a new variety capable of cracking my shell of teenage indifference, usually with sugary bits or new pretzel shapes.

Some things don’t change. I am still just that stupidly easy to sway. Limited Edition Cocoa Chex Mix manages to target two of my snack weaknesses with the inclusion of Lucky-Charms-like mini-marshmallows and large cinnamon bun pieces where the rye chips once stood. I couldn’t resist grabbing a bag. This particular mix also comes equipped with cocoa powdery corn Chex, vanilla yogurt rice Chex, and, for better or worse, the same old circle- and window-shaped pretzels which seem to exist nowhere outside the Chex universe.

Normally, the great thing about Chex Mix is, well, the mixing. No handful is complete without a metric ton of salty, spicy coating covering every piece, harmoniously joining a range of ultra-processed grains to create something far greater than the sum of their partially hydrogenated parts. This is the point where Cocoa Chex Mix begins to lose steam. Remember the cheesy Chex Mix from before? Well, even given *cough cough* years (sorry there, I seem to be getting choked up by the dryness of this snack), the fine people at Chex still haven’t quite figured out a way around the powder dilemma.

Every square inch of the mix, from the cinnamon buns to the window panes, comes coated in an ultra-fine layer of excess powder which from the cover picture I assume was only meant for the corn Chex. This powder isn’t especially sweet or exceptionally chocolatey. It’s basically just cocoa powder. The haphazard distribution of the stuff leaves the mix looking like something you’d dig out of the back of a couch, a relic of SNICKs past.

The cinnamon buns are tasty. The marshmallows, marshmallowy. But everything is so, so very dry. In theory, the yogurt rice Chex compensate for this. In practice, there are about five yogurt rice Chex pieces distributed throughout the bag, hopelessly lost in a barren wasteland of corn Chex hell-bent on sucking up all moisture and happiness in the world. If you’re lucky enough to scoop up a handful with one of the rare yogurty rice pieces, you’ll be amazed. Once you add those guys in, the mix truly begins to shine. But in all likelihood, particularly if you’re sharing the bag, you’ll never really experience the dazzling effect of the full flavor array. My advice to you in that case is to steal all the cinnamon buns while your Chex eating buddy isn’t looking. Insist that, like the rice Chex, the cinnamon buns were woefully scarce from the beginning.

As a treat for those determined enough to make it all the way to the bottom of the bag (or unobservant enough to open the bag upside-down), the marshmallows mimic the original Chex’s peanuts in their astonishing ability to cluster and sink to the bottom. They might look scant now, but just wait. Or shake the bag.

Actually, no. In order to experience the best this mix has to offer, just go buy a bag of marshmallows and some cocoa powder. Combine. Shake that. Voila! Cocoa for people who hate liquid! You can thank me later. Now get off my lawn. Blasted whipper snappers!

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Other Limited Edition Cocoa Chex Mix reviews:
The Talking Spoon

Item: Limited Edition Cocoa Chex Mix
Price: $2.49
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Fry’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Cinnamon buns as delicious as they look in the picture. Early SNICK. Marshmallows are of the kids’ cereal ilk. Yogurt rice Chex are a revelation. Ren & Stimpy. Mix does not actually taste like it came from between two couch cushions.
Cons: Powdery dryness akin to licking salt flats in Death Valley. Contains no chocolate morsels, chips, or chunks. Not overtly sweet. Utter lack of rice chex kills the flavor dream. Are You Afraid of the Dark?-induced nightmares. Marshmallows woefully smaller than their Lucky Charms counterparts. Dumping the mix in milk in a desperate bid for moisture makes the pretzels soggy. The last few seasons of All That.

NEWS: Nabisco To Add Spicy Buffalo and Zesty Salsa To Their Wheat Thins Lineup

Marvo — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:22:31 +0000

Nabisco has yet to make a Wheat Thins flavor I don’t enjoy. They’re really good at combining whole grain wheat flour, soybean oil, cornstarch, malt syrup, and a bunch of seasonings to make crunchy snacks that make me feel like I’m eating something healthier than potato chips.

Last year, Nabisco introduced their Smoky BBQ Wheat Thins, which got a positive review not only from us, but also several of our fellow review bloggers. This year, if a couple of placeholder pages on Amazon are correct, Nabisco plans to soon release two new Wheat Thins flavors — Spicy Buffalo and Zesty Salsa.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know me likey the spicy, so I’m looking forward to the Spicy Buffalo flavor. Although, I also believe zesty is besty, so I can’t wait to try the Zesty Salsa Wheat Thins.

A serving of 15 Spicy Buffalo Wheat Thins has 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. A serving of Zesty Salsa Wheat Thins has 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

Both varieties will be available in 9-ounce boxes.

Image via flickr user sekimura / CC BY 2.0

NEWS: New Savannah Smiles Girl Scout Cookie Celebrates the Organization’s 100th Anniversary, So Make a Girl Scout Smile By Buying A Box From Them

Marvo — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:00:00 +0000

The new Savannah Smiles Girl Scout Cookie might just convince me to buy Girl Scout Cookies instead of having to awkwardly explain to a 10-year-old girl why I’m not buying them, which usually involves me saying too much, like telling the little girl that my rejection will prepare her for her future boyfriend breakups and explaining that I don’t have a checkbook on me because this is the 21st century and the only person who writes checks is my grandma when she sends me money on my birthday.

The newest Girl Scout treat is a lemon-flavored cookie that’s dusted with powdered sugar. The cookie’s shape makes it look like a smile, hence the name, Savannah Smiles. Of course, if you flip the cookie upside down, it turns into a frown, which I guess if you wanted to give it a name, you could call it Fayetteville Frowns.

Savannah Smiles were added to the Girl Scout cookie line up to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts, which began in Savannah, Georgia by Juliette Gordon Low.

Booyah! History lesson! You’ll thank me when it comes up in Jeopardy.

A serving of five Savannah Smiles cookies has 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

Source: Foodbeast

Image via flickr user Jamiesrabbits / CC BY 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 1/7/2012

Marvo — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

If I ever want to see two peanut mascots fight, I’d like to see the monocle-wearing Mr. Peanut in an olde tyme bare knuckles brawl with the handlebar mustache-wearing Lord Nut Levington. (via Eat!Drink!Snack!)

There are all kinds of gummy vitamins, but I think drug companies need to make gummy pharmaceuticals like Gummy Viagra. I can imagine the slogan right now…It’s soft, but it’ll make you hard. (via Healthnuttxo)

This everything bacon bullshit has to end! It was awesome in 2009. It was funny in 2010. It got a little old in 2011. But now it’s 2012 and we need to end it. If we don’t, I hope the Mayan calendar does it for us. (via Food Junk)

I’ve always wanted to eat my vegetables in chip form. I already get my dairy in chip form thanks to Doritos. (via Junk Food Guy)

Image via flickr user Tomas Fano / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: I Hope Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish Is Delicious-ish and Creamy-ish

Marvo — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

With flavors like Karamel Sutra and Schweddy Balls, I thought Ben & Jerry’s new Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish honored pornstar Rocki Roads, but it does not. Not only does it not honor Ms. Roads, it also doesn’t have any chocolate ice cream, hence the name Rocky Road-ish.

Instead of chocolate ice cream, which is standard for the rocky road flavor, the limited edition ice cream is made up of toasted marshmallow ice cream with a toasted marshmallow swirl and fudge covered almonds. With that much marshmallow I’m surprised the creative folk at Ben & Jerry’s, who love pop culture references, didn’t call this ice cream Stay Nutt Marshmallow Man.

On Second Scoop has a review of the new flavor.

A 1/2 cup serving has 250 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 24 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Image via flickr user dmott9 / CC BY ND 2.0

NEWS: Put On Your Leg Warmers to Celebrate the Return of Sour Cream and Onion Doritos and Salsa Rio Doritos

Marvo — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:09:09 +0000

Update: Click here to read our Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio) review

Do you remember the 1980s?

Don’t remember the 1980s because your parents hadn’t met until the 1990s? Well, back then we had Sour Cream and Onion Doritos and Salsa Rio Doritos. I didn’t get to try those flavors because my parents bought generic chips in black and white packages, which is also something you young whippersnappers don’t remember.

Thankfully, Frito-Lay has brought back Sour Cream and Onion Doritos and Salsa Rio Doritos for a limited time. Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp has a review of both flavors, while Junk Food Guy reviewed Salsa Rio Doritos.

I look forward to eating these chips while wearing a Members Only jacket and listening to Duran Duran on a record player.

If you’ve tried them, let us know what you think and where you found them in the comments.

REVIEW: Kettle Brand 40% Reduced Fat Sea Salt Potato Chips

Marvo — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Oh, potato chips. I wish I could quit you, like I’ve stopped downloading freaky foreign internet porn and buying awful movies from the $5 DVD bin at Walmart with laughable titles like Mexican Werewolf In Texas and Hoochie Mama Drama. But you’re so difficult to shake, like a guy with vice grips for hands holding on to the roof of a speeding car while it goes around the Nürburgring in Germany.

I wish there was some kind of 12-step program to help me overcome my potato chip addiction because I have a weak soul that easily gives in to tater temptations. It’s so hard for my tongue to resist the equation: potato + hot oil = delicious. Once I pop, I can’t stop until half the bag is gone or until I get a sore stomach or until the bag is taken away from me using force.

It wouldn’t be so bad if potato chips had less fat. Although folks have tried to make low-fat potato chips using the synthetic oil, Olestra. However, for some reason people didn’t care for its possible anal leakage side effect.

A one ounce serving of Lays classic potato chips has 10 grams of fat, which is 16 percent of our daily value. So if I ate half a bag of Lays potato chips in one sitting, while watching a NCIS marathon on the USA Network, I would have consumed 60 grams of fat or 96 percent of my daily value. Oh, if only there was a way I could eat half a bag of potato chips without the guilt and the need to eat raw vegetables for the rest of the day to compensate for the potato chips.

Oh wait, it looks like Kettle Foods might have something with their Kettle Brand 40% Reduced Fat Sea Salt Potato Chips.

How did Kettle Brands make these chips have less fat? Don’t know and don’t care, unless it involves Olestra or a deal with the Devil. But it’s not the ingredients since it’s as simple of a list as their regular Sea Salt potato chips — potatoes, safflower and/or sunflower oil, and sea salt. It probably involves something that includes the word “proprietary” in its name.

As a fan of regular Kettle Brand Sea Salt potato chips, I’m quite familiar with its flavor. Heck, I’m such as fan that just thinking about them makes my mouth water and my hands shake. God, I need a potato chip fix right now. So does this reduced fat version taste just as good as the full fat version, which has 9 grams of fat per serving? Not quite. Does it taste good for a 40% reduced fat potato chip? Most definitely.

(Sidenote: The 40% is determined by comparing these chips with “regular potato chips” (i.e. Lays potato chips) and not their own regular sea salt potato chips.)

The chip’s potato flavor isn’t as robust as the regular version, but it does have the same delightful crunch. It seems Kettle Foods tries to make up for the slight loss of flavor due to the reduction in fat by including 45 milligrams more sodium per serving than the regular stuff, but I don’t think it’s saltier. However, the flavor difference is slight enough that I think if you emptied a bag into a bowl and left it out for your guests, no one would be any the wiser. After all, not everyone’s tongue and gut fat is as familiar with Kettle Brand Sea Salt potato chips as mine.

The Kettle Brand 40% Reduced Fat Sea Salt Potato Chips are pretty gosh darn good and I’ll probably end up replacing the regular stuff with it so that I can go on a potato chip bender with less guilt.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 13 chips – 130 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 4.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 480 milligrams of potassium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Kettle Brand 40% Reduced Fat Sea Salt Potato Chips
Price: $4.00 (on sale)
Size: 8 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Pretty damn good for 40% reduced fat potato chips. 40% less fat than “regular potato chips.” Less calories than Kettle Brand Sea Salt potato chips. Less guilty. No preservatives. Non-GMO ingredients. Gluten free. Potato + hot oil = delicious.
Cons: Flavor isn’t as robust as the regular stuff, but most won’t notice. My potato chip addiction. More sodium than the regular stuff. More expensive than “regular potato chips.” Some of the movies found in the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 12/31/2011

Marvo — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

No beverage can improve someone’s golf game. But I know having extramarital affairs with enough women to fill a bus and having to look into the eyes of a betrayed ex-wife and children can hurt someone’s golf game. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal…understandable. Peanut Butter Toast Crunch Cereal…I eat peanut butter on toast all the time. French Toast Crunch Cereal…of course. But now General Mills is just making shit up. (via Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp)

Hey, Starbucks! You offer your breakfast blend in VIA form, but how about making a special VIA morning blend for the I-Can’t-Believe-I-Had-A-One-Night-Stand-With-You crowd that’ll help us forget about it. (via Hot Ink Reviews)

Four words: Japanese hospital food review. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

I didn’t know potato, tortilla, and pita chips could be so festive. Maybe I’ll hang them on my Christmas tree next year. Or eat them while looking at my Festivus pole. (via Junk Food Guy)

I really wish these soylent green crackers were made from real humans. Because if they were, I wouldn’t have to hunt some random unsuspecting stranger walking alone in a shady part of town to be able to enjoy human flesh. (via Food Junk)

Image via flickr user GorillaGolfBlog / CC BY SA 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 12/24/2011

Marvo — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Jack in the Box just changed their beef patties, but I really wish they’d change their name to Jack in the Hexahedron. (via An Immovable Feast)

Here’s a chocolate bar with nipples. Now that’s a sentence I never thought I’d type. (via Mostly About Chocolate)

We can drink zombie blood and now we can eat zombie skin. I wonder when we’ll be able to snort zombie dandruff. (via Food Junk)

Juicy Fruit’s Juicy Riddle gum makes us figure out what flavor it is. Well, I have a riddle just for Juicy Fruit Juicy Riddle gum. What’s chewable, but won’t be chewed by many people because it’s stupid? (via Gum Alert)

Razzleberry pie is made using raspberries and blackberries. Dazzleberry pie is made using glitter and rhinestones. (via Freezer Burns)

Image via flickr user roland / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon

Drew — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 10:34:10 +0000

Ah, crackers.

For some reason I always find it hard starting off a cracker review. Maybe it’s because crackers aren’t a very sexy food. Candy is sexy. Fruit can be very sexy. Ice cream? Ice cream is definitely sexy, which is ironic since eating a lot of it will have the opposite effect on you. But crackers are not sexy. Nobody has ever eaten crackers off someone’s naked body, and if they have, I don’t want to know about it.

But hey, it can’t all be fast food and desserts — at some point you’ve got to devote some time to the staples, the unsung members of the snack world. And if that snack knows it isn’t glamorous but has gone to the trouble of decking itself out in sweet cinnamon for the holidays to make a good impression on your visiting relatives? Well, that says a lot. Be honest, ladies: what impresses you more, the guy who’s naturally gorgeous, or the one who goes out of his way to clean up, dress up, and put his best foot forward? Exactly. Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon are the homely guy who knows he doesn’t stand a chance with you, but dammit, he’s going to give it his best shot anyway. You’ve got to admire that.

Mind you, I do like regular Wheat Thins, but I’m used to eating them as little sandwiches with cheese and/or pepperoni slices in between. It’s rare that I’ll eat straight from a box of Wheat Thins, but that’s what seems most appropriate here, since neither cheese nor meat makes for a natural combination with cinnamon. I would guess that’s why these are limited edition for the holidays, since they lose a little bit of their versatility for party settings, where you’re more likely to want to make cracker sandwiches. However, what the cinnamon Wheat Thins lose in party food-ability, they gain back in solo use. After all, you’re more likely to dig into a box of something on the couch if it’s sweet and can be enjoyed straight out of the package, without needing to cut cheese slices or get out the platter and martini glasses, or whatever people without two young kids do at parties these days. (Network? Spin the bottle? Get crunk? I just don’t know.)

It’s fair to say my expectations were pretty high for this product, because let’s be honest, cinnamon is awesome and it’s pretty hard to screw up sprinkling it on a cracker. That’d be like praising me for writing a review that successfully uses the word “ass” three times… it’s just kind of expected. Plus the snowman on the box predisposes me to wanting to like whatever’s inside, a tactic the government would do well to remember when issuing jury summons. With all that being the case, my takeaway is that the cinnamon Wheat Thins are pleasant, and that’s probably the correct adjective. Not “amazing” or “mind-blowing” or “pulchritudinous,” but pleasant. A nice winter treat that would probably pair well with some hot chocolate while snuggled up with a loved one, watching Jimmy Stewart tough-talk an angel on Christmas.

[As an aside, do you know how hard it is to type "thins" rather than "things"? Your fingers just want to add that "g". Try it!]

You’re familiar with what you’re going to get if you’ve ever had Wheat Thins before, because the size, consistency, and texture are the same as they’ve always been, the only difference being the addition of cinnamon and sugar. Speaking of which, I suspect this will be a polarizing product based on the amount of cinnamon per cracker. It’s not insignificant — no one will confuse these with having a “hint of” cinnamon. That said, they aren’t comprised solely of cinnamon and sugar pressurized and molded into the vague shape of a Wheat Thin either. I personally found them tasty and think most people will as well, but anyone hoping these would equate to a slightly larger version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch is advised to keep walking. (However, I did dip some in milk, just out of curiosity. Not bad, but not something you’d want to eat out of a bowl with a spoon.)

Like a lot of you would have guessed, Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon is a product that offers zero surprises. It’s exactly what the name implies it to be, and it looks and tastes exactly how you’d expect. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing, though — the crackers ARE tasty, and they’re a safe snack food you can enjoy equally with friends or home alone in your pajamas. (Those of you who wear them, anyway. I know our readers like to walk on the wild side.) If snack foods were an ’80s movie, they’d be the quiet nerd who never gets noticed until finally the stars align and Molly Ringwald takes a chance on him, only to discover that, hey, this guy’s got a little spice to him! That’s Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon. Enjoy them, and enjoy the holiday season!

(Nutrition Facts – 14 pieces – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon reviews:
Junk Food Guy
So Good Blog
Dave’s Cupboard

Item: Limited Edition Wheat Thins Sweet Cinnamon
Price: $2.99
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased at: Wegman’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Reasonably nutritious. Snowman on box. Homely crackers who doll themselves up for you. Can be readily enjoyed solo. Unsurprising but pleasant taste. Decent in milk. Nabbing Molly Ringwald at the end.
Cons: Not bringing sexy back to crackers. No good for making mini-sandwiches. Doesn’t keep you guessing. Not an effective breakfast cereal replacement. Probably not enough cinnamon and sugar for some people.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 12/17/2011

Marvo — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 10:50:55 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

This will allow you to enjoy prime rib without having to wait in line at a buffet for someone in a white uniform to cut a slab for you under a heating lamp and place it on your plate with a small cup of au jus dipping sauce. But after eating it you’ll wish you were waiting in line at a buffet for someone in a white uniform to cut a slab for you under a heating lamp and place it on your plate with a small cup of au jus dipping sauce. (via Freezer Aisle Files)

Mince pie ice cream…boring. Minced meat pie ice cream…not boring, but also damn disgusting. (via Foodstuff Finds)

It might just be me, but Big Bamboo Jamaican Irish Moss Peanut Drink is a total word clusterfuck. (via Foodette Reviews)

Hanging candy canes on branches is a great way to decorate a Christmas tree. Hanging bottles of candy cane soda on branches is a great way to kill a Christmas tree by ripping off its limbs. (via BevReview)

Image via flickr user VirtualErn / CC BY 2.0