NEWS: Ben & Jerry’s New Boston Cream Pie Flavor Probably Thinks Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk Is Wicked Retahded

I’ve eaten a lot of fattening foods in my short lifetime, which have probably shortened my lifespan, but I’ve never had a Boston Cream Pie. When I went to the all-knowing Wikipedia to learn about it, I found out it’s actually a cake. Or is it? I’m so confused. Well at least I [...]

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REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie

I don’t think I’ve ever met a flavor of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream that I didn’t like, even their new Limited Batch Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie. I don’t know if I like them all because I’m high or because they’re high. If I were high, I’d think anything tastes awesome. But I [...]

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REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road

Ben & Jerry’s latest creation, Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road, honors Sir Elton John’s first-ever Vermont appearance in 2008. If Elton John wanted to honor the ice cream that honors him in lyrical form, I believe it might go something like this: Goodbye skinny jeans Though I never really used you at all You had the strength to [...]

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NEWS: Non-Flamboyant Limited Edition Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Honors Sir Elton John

While the Ben & Jerry’s Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road ice cream isn’t new to those in Vermont, where the Ben & Jerry’s headquarters is located, because it was released there after Sir Elton John made his first-ever appearance in 2008, it’s new to the rest of us and will be available nationwide for a limited [...]

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REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream

Here on these rocks in the middle of the Pacific Ocean we’re known for a lot of things, like warm weather throughout the year, beautiful beaches, pineapples, tourists, Kona coffee, meth addicts, hot female prostitutes who are actually men and marijuana. But were you aware that we’re also known for macadamia nuts? If you’re not [...]

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NEWS: Ben & Jerry’s Latest Flavors Causes Sweet Tooths to Rejoice and Nut Allergy Sufferers to Shake Their Fists in Anger

Ben & Jerry’s recently introduced two new flavors to their lineup of creamy creations: the creatively named Mission to Marzipan and the unimaginative Chocolate Macadamia, which a Chunky Monkey armed with a typewriter could’ve named. Both flavors contain nuts in some shape or form. The Mission to Marzipan flavor is made up [...]

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