Update: Click here to read our Rocky Road-ish review

With flavors like Karamel Sutra and Schweddy Balls, I thought Ben & Jerry’s new Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish honored pornstar Rocki Roads, but it does not. Not only does it not honor Ms. Roads, it also doesn’t have any chocolate ice cream, hence the name Rocky Road-ish.

Instead of chocolate ice cream, which is standard for the rocky road flavor, the limited edition ice cream is made up of toasted marshmallow ice cream with a toasted marshmallow swirl and fudge covered almonds. With that much marshmallow I’m surprised the creative folk at Ben & Jerry’s, who love pop culture references, didn’t call this ice cream Stay Nutt Marshmallow Man.

On Second Scoop has a review of the new flavor.

A 1/2 cup serving has 250 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 24 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Update: Click here to read our Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Banana Cream Pie review

When I read about the new Ben & Jerry’s Banana Cream Pie ice cream over at Rodzilla Reviews, I got excited because I loves me some banana cream pie. This is the second cream pie flavor B&J have put out, with Boston Cream Pie being the other. This gives me hope that they’ll someday come up with a Shaving Cream Pie ice cream.

Ben & Jerry’s Banana Cream Pie ice cream is made up of banana ice cream with pastry cream swirls, marshmallow swirls, and pie crust pieces. In order to get some, you’ll have to walk through a Walmart, since it’s an exclusive flavor. Thankfully, walking through a Walmart is much safer now that there aren’t people getting pushed around and trampled for $2 waffle makers. Or $1.28 towels. Or cheap Blu-Ray players.

A 1/2 cup serving contains 260 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Source: Rodzilla Reviews

Hi, everyone.  I’m Drew, and you’re reading The Impulsive Buy.  Well, the holiday season is almost here, and if you’re not an avid Delicious Dish listener like me, you may have missed this tidbit: frequent guest Pete Schweddy has sold his Season’s Eatings bakery to ice cream chain Ben & Jerry’s.  This is good news for consumers nationwide who have long dreamed of enjoying those famous balls, but were prevented by distance from doing so.  Thankfully B&J’s didn’t leave us hanging, developing a new flavor that Mr. Schweddy has repeatedly expressed a desire to dip his balls into.  And now it’s finally ready to be thrust upon the general public.
 
Even so, don’t think it was easy.  Schweddy Balls was released over a month ago, but it proved surprisingly hard to find.  I had to visit a lot of places, some less savory than others; but finally my persistence paid off and I was able to get my hands on Schweddy Balls.  Let’s give it a once-over, shall we?

The first thing that jumps out at you about Schweddy Balls is the color — very, very white, with just a few visible black spots that might concern you at first.  No worries though, as closer inspection reveals them to be malt balls and fudge-covered rum balls.  Yes, that’s right: B&J’s subscribes to the notion that if one ball is good, two are clearly better. The texture, as you’d expect, is quite different between the two varieties.  The rum ones, though lent some firmness by the fudge, are still fairly soft and squishy.  In contrast, the malt balls are quite hard and (be warned) make a loud noise when chewed.  No lie, my wife was actively annoyed by how loudly I was crunching my balls next to her.
 

Noise aside, both kinds of balls are pleasing to the tongue, the fudge and rum melding into a nice richness and the malt balls being… well, basically just regular malt balls.  They’re smaller than you might’ve expected, perhaps due to the cold.  In addition, they’re spread quite liberally throughout the mixture, so if you were worried about there not being enough balls to go around, think again.
 
The other thing you’ll notice right away about Schweddy Balls is the smell — if you put your nose right up there, you can really detect the rum fragrance.  Unfortunately, that also leads me to the biggest problem: the aroma is far stronger than the taste.  Perhaps in fear of overwhelming their audience, B&J’s made the hint of rum much less than a hint.  It’s barely detectable on its own, so you’re essentially just eating vanilla ice cream with balls in it.  Plentiful balls, to be sure, but not so much so that you’ll have one in every bite.  Probably half of your spoonfuls will just be vanilla ice cream; and while B&J’s know how to make a decent vanilla, it still could’ve benefited from a fudge swirl or something to keep things interesting.  You have to feel bad for Pete Schweddy, with the entire weight of the dish resting on his balls.
 
I’d be remiss if I didn’t briefly mention the durability of Schweddy Balls.  This may be a non-factor for most of you, but I purchased a carton on my lunch break, stored it in the work freezer, and then took a 40-minute car ride to a van rental place, a 10-minute wait, a 5-minute drive to a furniture store, 10 minutes of loading a table and chairs into the van, and a 5-minute drive to my house before it saw the inside of a freezer again.  Yet when I opened the carton the next day, there were no signs it had melted even a little.  Give them credit, those balls held up remarkably well.
 
I really wanted to give this flavor a higher score, because of both the salacious name and those panties-in-a-bunch parent groups protesting it being in stores while their kids are home viewing the original sketch on Hulu.  But while I’d love to tell you there’s no beating these balls, that’s just not true — they can be beaten, and beaten soundly, by many of B&J’s other flavors.  Weighted against average, everyday ice cream, this holds up pretty well.  But we’ve come to expect a lot more from those gentlemen from Vermont, and unfortunately their Schweddy Balls just don’t quite measure up.  It’s not terrible, but with the exception of the titular item, is just somewhat underwhelming.
 
Mmmm, balls!

(Nutrition Facts — 1/2 cup — 270 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of total fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls reviews:
Junk Food Guy
Foodette Reviews
On Second Scoop

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls
Price: $3.39
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Wegman’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Obscure “The State” references FTW.  The longer you search for Schweddy Balls, the more satisfying it is when you find it.  Carton references the “racy double entendres” of the original skit.  Plenty of balls to go around.  Plaid logo = nice little touch.  Rum/fudge balls are succulent and rich.  I got paid money to make fifty ball jokes — deal with it.
Cons: Malt balls make loud, annoying sound when chewed.  Kind of bland when you don’t get a ball in your mouth.  Doesn’t 26 grams of sugar just mean they dumped an entire jar of sugar in the carton?  Missed opportunity for “Waffle Coneheads” and “Chocolate Chip in a Box” cross-promotions.  Rum scent more powerful than rum flavor.  Ball jokes stopped being funny after the first three.

Hey so guess what — I found the damn ice cream.

Irony is a bitch, amirite?  After literally weeks of searching for the latest Ben & Jerry’s flavor and eventually settling for Breyers Chips Ahoy! as a consolation prize, I finally located Fair Goodness Cake! before I’d even submitted that last review.  Yeah.  That’s like getting a friend request from the girl you had a crush on in high school two weeks after you’ve gotten married.

Except… often when that happens, you realize almost immediately that, old infatuation be damned, you absolutely ended up with the right person.  That happened to me — it’s crazy to think that if I’d actually had the stones to ask her out back in the day, I could right now be with a diehard Twilight and Justin Bieber fan who’s never heard of capital letters.  (Because: hi, we’re 31 years old.  The Biebs should not be on anyone’s radar who was born in the ’80s.)  So I approached Fair Goodness Sake! with anticipation, but just a little hesitance as well.

Juliet famously pondered what was in a name, to which Ben and Jerry’s response is clearly, “An opportunity for a double pun, duh.”  Fair Goodness Cake! isn’t the slickest of their ice cream names, but you’ve got to respect the sheer ambition of referencing both the fair trade nature of the ingredients and the flavor itself in the title.  I’d been looking forward to this one for a while because, beyond the fact that B&J rarely steer me wrong, I was curious to see if I could taste the difference between standard chocolate ice cream versus “German chocolate cake” ice cream.

In answer to that question: yes, although it’s subtle.  I’d say the chocolate is probably a little darker and richer than what you’d consider “ordinary” chocolate, both in appearance and flavor.  Texture wise, while there are some crumbled cake bits in it, they’re pretty unobtrusive and blend well into the smoothness of the ice cream.  If anything, they could’ve added a little more German chocolate cake without anyone complaining, I’m guessing.  FGS! also contains coconut, which I personally can take or leave.  To me it’s like the kid sidekick of the ice cream world — I’m not going to complain if it’s there, but if it happens to get accidentally left out, or blown up or beaten to death with a crowbar, I’m kind of okay with that.  Anyone who got that reference, collect five nerd points and give yourself a wedgie immediately.

But I know that many of you, like my wife, are avowed coconut lovers, and rest assured that Ben & Jerry have not forsaken thee.  Fair Goodness Cake! boasts a strong, distinctive coconut presence that can’t be ignored.  Arguably a little too much so — the container boasts of a coconut caramel swirl, but the caramel is almost an afterthought, disappearing quicker than a bartender’s attention when you sit down and order a water (or so I’m told by people who order water in bars).  In all seriousness, the caramel is there, but very subtle and definitely overpowered by its bigger, more prominent cousin.  Damn your diva-esque ways, coconut!

Despite what the name might lead you to believe, there’s nothing especially esoteric about Fair Goodness Cake! ice cream.  It’s not some incredibly niche flavor that like three people will appreciate; it’s just solid, non-flashy ice cream.  Nothing wrong with that (other than the price… five dollars?!), and while I might’ve desired more parity between the coconut and the caramel elements, overall it’s still tasty stuff.  Coconut lovers can probably add an extra point to that score, but for everyone else: don’t hesitate to pick some up if you see it, but I wouldn’t drive more than a mile out of your way to get some either.  Although it is a limited batch, so if you DO decide to partake, don’t wait too long — he who hesitates does not eat cake.

(Nutrition Facts — 1/2 cup — 260 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 27 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Fair Goodness Cake! reviews:
On Second Scoop
Rodzilla Reviews
Ice Cream Snob
Fish and Spaghetti

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Fair Goodness Cake!
Price: $4.99
Size: One pint
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Finally finding the damn stuff.  Further confirmation that you married the right person (not that any was needed).  Cake chunks that enhance the rich chocolate.  Nice texture.  Double puns.  Doesn’t spare the coconut, if that’s your thing.
Cons: Does EVERY new frozen dessert have to have an exclamation mark in its name?  Kid sidekicks.  Remembering you never would’ve stood a chance with the girl you’re making jokes about.  Who hid the caramel?  $5 is pretty ridiculous for a pint of ice cream.

Update: Click here to read our Schweddy Balls review

I’m an avid watcher of Saturday Night Live and my favorite skit of all time is Schweddy Balls. If you’ve never seen the skit because you’re too young or you think SNL was better during the (insert former cast member here)-era, you can watch the clip below (unless you live in a country outside of the US because Hulu clips don’t play outside of the US).

For those who can’t watch the clip, the sketch stars Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon, as hosts of the “Delicious Dish,” a National Public Radio program parody, along with Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy, the fictional owner of Season’s Eatings Bakery.

To honor Saturday Night Live and the greatness of that skit, Ben & Jerry’s has launched a new limited edition flavor called, you guessed it, Schweddy Balls.

The new Schweddy Balls flavor features Fair Trade vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum balls and milk chocolate malt balls.

A 1/2 cup serving has 270 calories, 15 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

The newest Ben & Jerry’s limited-batch flavor is currently available at participating Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shops across the country and at supermarkets nationwide while supplies last.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

This is perfect for my future fiancée. When I slip it on her finger, I’ll make her feel like the unluckiest woman in the world. (via Candyblog)

Blame it on the caffeine. Got you feeling mean. Blame it on sugar. Got you in the mood for murder. Blame in on the J-J-J-J-Jerk Energy Soda. Blame it on the J-J-J-J-J-Jerk Energy Soda. (via Clearance Cuisine)

You know what would be funny? Trying to drink Novocaine Anti-Energy Drink after your mouth has been injected with novocaine. You know what wouldn’t be funny? Trying to drink Novocaine Anti-Energy Drink after your mouth has been injected with novocaine, uploading a video of it on YouTube, and then watching the negative comments, like “LAME” and “Your a fuckin dumb ass,” get posted after. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

I don’t know if chocolate therapy will work on me. I prefer 40 milligrams of fluoxetine therapy. Or 75 volts of electroconvulsive therapy. (via On Second Scoop)

Aunt Jemima knows pancakes, but she sure doesn’t know frozen microwaveable meals. (via Freezer Aisle Files)