There are some ice cream flavors that are just a little too bizarre for everyday eating. I understand bacon-flavored ice cream might be your guilty pleasure, but the majority of people don’t want to pair pork with their sundaes. The tamer palate might prefer a more traditional combination, such as mint and chocolate.

Mint and chocolate have been working together for years with nothing but great results. Their union has brought us such joys as Andes Candies, York Peppermint Patties, and Junior Mints. I think we can all agree that when it comes to flavors, mint and chocolate are as attached as Batman & Robin. Or maybe even Hall & Oates. Or better yet, Ben & Jerry.

Yes, that’s right. To bring these two complementary flavors together once again, Ben & Jerry’s has given us their new Chocolate Peppermint Crunch, a rich chocolate ice cream featuring swirls of peppermint and fudge mixed with crunchy mint chocolate cookie balls.

Upon opening the pint of Chocolate Peppermint Crunch, we find a traditional chocolate ice cream base mixed with visible swirls of peppermint and chocolate fudge. Scattered throughout the ice cream are the mint chocolate cookie balls, perfectly sized and distributed among the ice cream for maximum flavor. There was no lack of cookie balls here. (Do cookies even have balls?)

My first taste of Chocolate Peppermint Crunch was not what I expected. I was under the impression that the peppermint and fudge swirls would give the chocolate ice cream a light, minty flavor, but the swirls weren’t strong enough to shine through the chocolate flavor of the ice cream. Nearly all of the mint flavor comes from the cookie balls, which provide a satisfying crunch and a mint-chocolate flavor reminiscent of those Girl Scout Thin Mints we all know and love. The cookie balls provide the perfect amount of mint flavor to complement the chocolate ice cream; the fresh, minty feeling doesn’t become overwhelming.

I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed, though. Chocolate Peppermint Crunch tastes almost like a normal generic brand mint-chocolate ice cream flavor, and not like a top-of-the-line Ben & Jerry’s product. I expect a bit more variety and a wider range of tastes from such a famous ice cream conglomerate.

All things considered, Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Peppermint Crunch is still a delicious flavor, and though it doesn’t have much of a wow-factor and most of the mint flavor is isolated in the cookie balls, it will undoubtedly provide mint-chocolate lovers with a sweet treat.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 300 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 30 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Peppermint Crunch reviews:
The Ice Cream Informant
On Second Scoop
Recap Hub
One Step at a Time

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Peppermint Crunch Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: One pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Mint chocolate cookie balls taste like Thin Mints. Perfect amount of cookie balls. Generally yummy.
Cons: Fudge and mint swirls fail to add mint flavor to chocolate ice cream. Expected more from Ben & Jerry’s. Still don’t know if cookies even have balls.

Let’s play the word association game.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “Magnum”? One of my friends said “guns”, but he’s from Texas, so that doesn’t count. Magnum P.I. would also be an acceptable answer, if you’re over the age of 30 or just have an appreciation of fine mustaches.

My first thought, because I am a perv, was, of course, “condoms for guys with giant penises”. Can you really blame me? Their whole marketing campaign is all about pleasure and indulgence. Magnum is easily the sexiest ice cream bar company around, if anyone was giving out awards for “Sexiest Ice Cream Bar”, which might be an awards show I’d actually watch.

I’m not talking about Magnums in general, though – I’m talking about Magnum Gold?!

As you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t just have an attack of surprise and disbelief, there – that interrobang was all Magnum’s doing. I checked their website. Time and time again, that ?! was present but unaddressed. It was like Magnum thought this was a perfectly normal punctuation to throw on a product name. Did nobody explain to Magnum what an interrobang indicates?!

Magnum describes their Gold?! Ice Cream Bar as “Silky vanilla bean ice cream swirled with sea salt caramel and covered in a golden coating made with Belgian Milk Chocolate.”

There is, of course, no actual gold in Magnum Gold?! ice cream bars. However, I was disappointed by the lack of shiny allure in the gold coating. It barely glimmered at all?! I’ve seen enough cake decorating shows to know that there’s edible gold out there that is shiny enough to attract raccoons from a half mile away. This was not that gold. This was more of a dull sheen.

The gold-covered milk chocolate shell tasted pretty high-quality – I’d put it at about Dove chocolate status. I’m glad the chocolate was so tasty, because there sure was a lot of it – too much, in fact. The shell was so thick it took a bit of effort to break through it, and the thickness seemed to cause excessive breakage. I guess I’d rather get a gold stain on my shirt than a chocolate stain?!

The vanilla ice cream was indeed smooth, and you could see the vanilla bean flecks in it. It played well with the chocolate shell, which is pretty much stating the obvious. Since when haven’t vanilla and chocolate gone well together?!

Unfortunately, the main feature of Magnum Gold?! (besides the Gold?! coating, of course), the sea salt caramel, was not strong enough to stand up to the richness of the chocolate shell. I could definitely see the caramel swirls, but I only got one or two bites where I could distinctly taste its flavor. Even then, the caramel flavor was pedestrian. There was nothing to distinguish it as sea salt caramel as opposed to just regular ol’ caramel?!

Magnum Gold?! has a little brother known as Magnum Mini Gold?! I was hoping maybe the smaller version would have a thinner shell, but Mini Gold?! shared all the characteristics, good and bad, of its bigger version. The main difference was that Mini Gold?! didn’t come in a fancy gold foil wrapper, which, by the way, is about the most annoying thing in the universe to try to photograph.

Fun fact, I got a Magnum Mini Gold?! that had the “M” on the hand-side of the stick instead of “Magnum”. I thought this was just part of being a Mini, but the rest of them had “Magnum” with the heart symbol on it showing, just like the larger version. Ice cream bar blooper reel!

I’ve tried other Magnum Ice Cream Bar flavors before, and have found them to be almost too rich and decadent. While they have their shortcomings, Magnum Gold?! Ice Cream Bars, on the other hand, have a nice balance of sweet and rich, which is funny because it’s called Gold?! Get it?!

Disclosure: The author received free Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bars samples from Unilever. She also received a treasure chest with a bottle of Moet & Chandon Imperial Champagne.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – Magnum Gold?! Ice Cream Bar – 290 calories, 20 grams of total fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A, 10% calcium, and 4% iron. Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bar – 170 calories, 12 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 6% calcium, and 2% iron.)

Other Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! reviews:
On Second Scoop
Ice Cream Informant
Crazy Food Dude
Brand Eating

Item: Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bars
Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 3 bars (Magnum Gold?!)
Size: 6 bars (Magnum Mini Gold?!)
Purchased at: Received from Magnum
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Quality chocolate shell. Smooth vanilla bean ice cream. Being able to eat gold. Random, unexplained interrobangs. Not overwhelmingly rich like other Magnum bars. Ice cream bar blooper reels.
Cons: Chocolate shell was too thick. Caramel was too faint and not sea-salty. Random, unexplained interrobangs. Chocolate was overwhelming other flavors. I can’t stop thinking about penises when I see the word “Magnum”.

There are so many things I don’t know. Like where Atlantis went. Or why they cancelled Legends of the Hidden Temple. Or why so many words starting with “x” sound like they should start with “z.”

It is in the fog of such mental eclipses that I become aware that I need some brain food to clear my mind. Fortunately, the folks at Ben and Jerry’s have taken heed to the call for quality brain food by expanding their line of Greek Frozen yogurt. Thus, with four bucks and a clean spoon, I set out on my Odyssey to the fluorescent depths of the freezer section, where I stared with big, lugubrious eyes at the array of compassionate new pints. Luckily, unlike Homer’s version, this Odyssey did not end in the violent murders of dozens of male courters. On the contrary: it ended in caramel. Caramel and vanilla.

Ah, yes, sitting there like freshly fallen snow.

And that’s the money shot, people: vanilla Greek frozen yogurt with a honey caramel swirl.

I go for the base first and it holds a vanilla yogurt tang, with the vanilla coming in as the forerunner in flavor. I’m happy to discover that any metallic artificial vanilla flavorings have been sent to the dry cleaners and then destroyed by said metaphorical dry cleaning machine. At the same time, the vanilla here comes from extract and, well, it’s just ho-hum. It’s still pretty good, but, if my old friend vanilla bean were to show up, he would be welcome.

Probiotics have always made me nervous. They sound like mutant slugs that emerged from the dank sewers and are now dragging their limp bodies through the city streets, leaving a trail of sludge behind. Where did these little bacteria come from? Where are they on the evolution scale? What do they want with my dairy products??

Well, at this moment, I don’t care as 1) I see no traces of mutant slugs in this pint and 2) I’m about 87 percent positive that those little microscopic organisms are responsible for this ever-so-slight tang that comes at the end of all the layers of sweetness in this yogurt, giving it a taste that is not unlike cannoli filling. In fact, if you put this in an ice cream cone, it’s arguable that you’ve got a pretty good 2-second cannoli-like treat in your ravenous paws.

As with most frozen yogurts, this pint gets soft quicker than the time it takes for a jackrabbit to chase down an armadillo in a canoe rowing down the Mississippi River, which, for those who may not have seen this sight [yet], would be really, really fast. I dig this consistency. Just a slight 5-10 minute defrost allows the yogurt to become as fluffy as those 125-dollar pillows. Only this is in a tub. And not made of cotton. And it tastes good, so nevermind. It’s nothing like pillows.

Desserts with caramel tend to hold the risk of being overpowered by caramel’s strong sweetness, but this holds a pleasant light caramel flavor without becoming toffee-like or burnt. The caramel itself has a good pull and cuts like butta’, a texture which I came to appreciate as it made it a cinch to scoop lots on one’s spoon. At various points, you may found yourself hitting glorious globs of this honey caramel swirl. If you get a big enough caramel blob, you may receive the unique experience of honey oozing from the caramel’s core. This honey is of the nonaggressive variety, bringing a sugary sweetness without smacking one in the face like a field of pollen.

Looks like something worthy of MoMA.

Ben and Jerry’s is known for taking ice cream alchemy and transfusing it with imagination; pushing the boundaries of what we believe ice cream can be and flipping it on its dairy-filled backside; and for stuffing 473 milliliters of chocolate fish and marshmallow crème into a cardboard cylinder.

This isn’t one of those ice creams.

It is, however, a vessel of agency. This time, they’re letting we [the consumers] stuff our bowls with mix-ins to our own discretion, and, boy howdy, is this hankerin’ for some mix-ins. Perhaps some Oreo cone pieces? Or chocolate covered pretzels? Or Sriracha Potato Chips? I dunno. Go crazy. Watch the walls of this Ice Cream Coliseum crumple at your feet.

In a world of unknowns, this pint’s pretty straightforward. It’s not cutting edge or froo-froo Magoo. It’s just vanilla and honey caramel and doesn’t try to be anything greater. I like it that way. While it doesn’t wow me enough to slide out my chocolate favorites, it’s a pretty good contender if I’m looking for a honey frozen yogurt.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup [99 g] – 190 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugars, and 6 grams of protein.)

Other Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt reviews:
On Second Scoop
One Step at a Time

Item: Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Simple. Fluffy texture. Caramel everywhere. Nonaggressive honey. Nice balance of tang and sweetness. Good vessel for mix-ins. 2-second cannoli. Doesn’t try to be anything greater than it is. Finding a reason to use the word “lugubrious.” Jackrabbits chasing armadillos.
Cons: Melts dangerously fast. Ho-hum vanilla. No exciting mix-ins. Might be kinda boring to some. Sludge monsters. The canceling of Legends of the Hidden Temple.

As time goes on, I become more comfortable with coffee. By that I mean I don’t walk into the office every morning sipping Coke Zero like a 12-year-old anymore; but I’m still not a huge fan of coffee’s bitterness. My wife doesn’t understand how that’s possible when I love IPAs, one of the bitterest kinds of beer in existence, but what can I say? The tongue wants what it wants.

Nonetheless, I’ve managed to combat this bitterness by indulging in mochas. Yes, they’re still not quite a big boy drink, but it’s a step in the right direction; and I find coffee and I get along better when it’s mixed with equal parts sweet, luxuriant chocolate. Which is good news, because today we’re looking at Ben & Jerry’s latest offering: Coffee, Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz!

Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? Actually, I’ll confess that the concept of coffee ice cream has always struck me as a little odd. The time you’re most likely to be eating ice cream is after dinner, in the evening or at night But that’s exactly the wrong time to be indulging in caffeine, at least for those of you who have difficulty falling asleep while wired. True, coffee ice cream doesn’t necessarily have to contain caffeine, but this particular flavor also includes espresso bean fudge chunks, and the description on the carton touts that “the caffeinated blast you lovelovelove is now a kick to ask for in more places! Enjoy!”

In B&J’s defense, it’s not like they’re making any secret of it. If you eat this ice cream and then have trouble sleeping, well, what’d you think was going to happen, stupid? Also, the cow on the lid has been given googly eyes pointing in different direction to indicate that it’s either extremely alert or tripping balls, and either way it’s pretty hilarious.

Beyond that it’s the standard B&J’s packaging, with a picture of a cup of joe with coffee beans being dropped into it (which, I’m given to understand, is NOT how you brew coffee), plus some fudge chunks hovering over to the side. The description notes that this flavor was previously available in scoop shops, and hints that it’s also a revived flavor from their ice cream graveyard, because even Ben & Jerry’s wants to hop on the zombie bandwagon.

When you crack it open and dig in a spoon, you’re confronted with that distinctive light brown color you may remember from every other coffee ice cream ever. But you’ll also see what looks like chocolate chunks peeking tantalizingly out; the fact that they’re actually espresso bean fudge chunks that will be helping you stay awake long enough to study for an exam or beat the next level or finally finish that review you’re late on is just a bonus. As you scoop a few, uh, scoops out, you’ll notice that they’re spread fairly liberally throughout the mixture… no mean beans, these.

As is the norm for Ben & Jerry’s, it’s very rich and sweet, with no pretension of being “light” this or “50% less sugar” that — love handles are for tomorrow, mister. The coffee flavor is prominent, which for me was merely tolerable but will probably really excite many of you. Like Glee. It really does taste like a cold cup of coffee, albeit one that has plenty of milk and sugar added to it.

But it’s the espresso bean fudge chunks that are the highlight of this flavor. Without them it’s just a decent but somewhat unmemorable coffee ice cream — Tintin without Captain Haddock, Mickey without Donald, The Office without Steve Carell. But the chunks are both plentiful and extremely tasty, and that’s from someone who doesn’t drink espressos. They’re firm enough without hurting your teeth, and the fudge flavor really comes through in a big way, the perfect way to offset the bitterness of the coffee taste. (That said, I would recommend not eating it while drinking an IPA. Little tip.)

So yeah — if it were economically and calorically feasible, I guess I could just eat half a cup of this before work every morning. Since it’s not, I’ll stick with the mocha, but don’t let that dissuade you from trying this flavor. I enjoyed it without even being a coffee fan; those who are definitely shouldn’t pass it up. Just make sure you’re physically and financially fit first, because as usual, this stuff ain’t healthy and it ain’t cheap.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 260 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Coffee, Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz! reviews:
The Ice Cream Informant
On Second Scoop

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Coffee, Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz!
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Actually can help keep you awake. The espresso chunks are plentiful and flavorful. Googly-eyed cows. Coffee flavor lingers on your taste buds. Donald Duck.
Cons: “BuzzBuzzBuzz!” sounds more like a honey than a coffee flavor. I sympathize with anyone who eats this and later wonders why the hell they can’t get to sleep. Coffee ice cream always looks so drab. Mickey without Donald.

Q: What do you call it when a Danish-sounding company sells an Italian dessert in America?

A: Delicious! Or so we hope.

Fine, so I won’t get a job crafting jokes for Conan anytime soon. (At this point, even Leno is probably out of the question.) Still, you must admit there’s a certain sense of satisfaction to be felt when America, supposedly the great melting pot, so heartily embraces other cultures like this. Throw on some Spanish peanuts, serve with Colombian coffee and you’re in business!

Or are you?

As I had no idea about before researching this review (yes, I occasionally put in a little effort), Häagen-Dazs can trace its origins all the way back to… the Bronx. The founder was a Polish immigrant who decided his high-end ice cream might sell better with an exotic-sounding name, which history would prove remarkably accurate. So for everyone who assumed Häagen-Dazs originated in Denmark or Sweden, sorry… you’ll still have to head to Ikea for your genuine Scandinavian fix. Or just read the rest of this review, since the blood of a hundred raging Norsemen pounds through my veins (plus a couple of crafty Irishmen who snuck in there).

Since I was already researching stuff, I decided to go all the way and find out what distinguishes gelato from regular ice cream. Not a lot, as it turns out, since “gelato” is just the Italian word for ice cream. Generally speaking in the U.S., it’s a soft ice cream with less air and usually a little richer than regular ice cream.

But since there aren’t any official standards governing it, technically anyone can call their ice cream “gelato” with no consequences. Still, I’m going to ignore the skepticism bred into me by years of corporate work and choose to believe Häagen-Dazs actually did make this dessert a little richer than usual, instead of just calling it gelato to capture that exotic mystique. And they do capitalize on it, with the words “Italy” or “Italian” used on the carton about a dozen times and a little outline of the Colosseum.

Of course, when I hear the words “sea salt” I think not of Italy but of my home state of New Jersey. And being a big caramel fan as well, I was really looking forward to digging into this stuff. Color wise, it’s somewhere between beige and tan, strongly reminiscent of coffee ice cream. Once you dig a scoop in, you’ll locate the caramel swirl, though it should be noted that it’s not criss-crossing every square inch of the container, more popping up every now and again like jokes in recent seasons of The Simpsons. There also aren’t actual visible-to-the-naked-eye chunks of salt scattered throughout the mixture like little NaCl nuggets.

But speaking of salt, that leads me to maybe the biggest surprise about Häagen-Dazs Gelato Sea Salt Caramel, which is that the sea salt isn’t distributed evenly through the ice cream. If asked to predict ahead of time, I would have guessed that the salty taste would be pretty uniform with caramel becoming more and less prominent depending on how much of the swirl was in each bite. What I didn’t realize is that the sea salt is actually contained IN the caramel swirl. In essence, there’s sort of a “base” caramel foundation flavor, and then the saltiness waxes and wanes with the amount of swirl you get.

And boy, does it ever: some bites you might as well be eating plain caramel ice cream, with others you’ll be surfing a saline wave. At times it’s almost a delayed reaction, lingering after the caramel taste has faded, but it never becomes overwhelming, so you won’t feel like someone tossed a salt lick into your dessert. If anything I would have hoped for a little more salt… it’s good, so either expand the ribbon or mix a little bit into the base caramel.

Speaking of which, the overall caramel flavor is nicely rich and creamy, so I guess no lawsuits need to be filed over the “gelato” name, pending the results of the air content analysis I ordered. (Got my eye on you, Häagen-Dazs… or should I say, Hojnowski-Dziedzic?) The caramel swirl adds a nice textural element, and I was impressed by how easy it was to scoop even right out of the freezer — with lower air content and increased richness you might suspect it’d be harder to dig into, but actually quite the opposite. Or I’m just getting super-strong, another distinct possibility.

This is a good dessert, although the cost and calories have to be at least a little prohibitive. Still, it blends relatively well and is rich, as promised. (You’ll also need to hit the stairmaster for an extra 20 minutes the next day, as not promised but implied.) It isn’t the best ice cream I’ve ever had, but definitely a successful experiment, and one you shouldn’t hesitate to reach for if you’ve got a craving for some sweet n’ salty goodness.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 270 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of total fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 28 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Häagen-Dazs Sea Salt Caramel Gelato reviews:
The Ice Cream Informant

Item: Häagen-Dazs Sea Salt Caramel Gelato
Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 14 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Official ice cream of both the Vatican AND the Jersey Shore. Smooth and rich, just like you like your men. Caramel ice cream + caramel swirl = great combination! When it’s there, the salt adds a terrific element. Mostly-black carton makes you look super cool.
Cons: Misleading company names. Not enough salt to justify making up 2/3rds of the product name. Recent seasons of The Simpsons. Definitely needs a wider caramel swath. Legally I’m allowed to plop a Frosty in a cup and sell it as “gelato.”

The last time The Impulsive Buy reviewed a Häagen-Dazs product, fellow writer Jasper came up with a groundbreaking, but ridiculously simple hypothesis for why one of the company’s premium ice cream varieties has never received below a “7″ score on a TIB review.

Let’s take a look back, shall we?
 

Häagen-Dazs routinely comes out with interesting and well-executed new products but, look, when your product’s primary ingredients are sugar and cream, you’re set up for success

I couldn’t agree more. Taking a look at your standard Häagen-Dazs container, you almost always see cream as the first ingredient listed, followed by skim milk and then sugar. To make things even richer, Häagen-Dazs also adds egg yolks to many flavors. But what happens when they pull the old switcheroo on the first two ingredients, adding more skim milk than cream, and then adding a little corn syrup to act as the main sweetener instead of sugar? While were at it, let’s just take out those yolks as well. What kind of machination of frozen dessert wizardry does that leave poor schmucks like me with?

Apparently something vaguely Italian. Don’t get me wrong. Häagen-Dazs’ new line of Gelato keeps with the gut-busting ethos of premium frozen dairy products that pack more than 200 calories per 1/2 cup serving, but seriously, by inverting the first two ingredients of their standard ice cream the company is taking the ice cream equivalent to a fall from the Majors to Single A. That’s a big gamble for something that promises a “taste of Italy” and comes in similar, if not identical, flavors as your standard ice cream. God knows I love a good pizza and could totally use some one-on-one kitchen pointers from Giada, but I was skeptical that this new line of frozen desserts could live up to its gourmet billing.

The new line of Gelato comes in seven flavors, but because my local Walmart isn’t exactly a café in the streets of Florence, only Vanilla Bean and Cappuccino were in stock. I chose the later, mostly because my stops into Walmart tend to occur before the sun rises, and I felt like getting a proper caffeine kick to compliment my breakfast of a Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit.

When judging frozen dairy, I like to borrow a page from Jasper’s playbook and apply the Pint Test. You may recall the Pint Test judges an ice cream/gelato’s quality on whether or not you would sacrifice your better health sense to finish the pint (or 14 oz. container) all in one sitting.

But I propose a corollary to the Pint Test. Any bastard with the willpower of a child in Toys “R” Us (like myself) can finish a pint on a hot summer day without thinking about it. The true test is whether or not someone like Jillian Michaels would finish a pint during a 14 degree morning after topping off a gargantuan church/fire department/community club sponsored breakfast of all-you-can-eat pancakes and sausage.

For that to happen, you know it’s good.

Unfortunately Jillian didn’t respond to my request for assistance in this review, but thanks to an 18 degree morning, I was able to capture an ethos that doesn’t exactly benefit gelato eating*.

I was expecting the kind of intense roasted espresso flavor one gets when shoving a handful of those chocolate covered espresso beans into one’s face, but I was instead greeted by a mellow coffee flavor and a milky-sweet taste. There’s a real freshness with each spoonful, thanks to the milk, but nothing else helped make it stand out beyond your standard coffee ice cream. If anything, the cappuccino “swirl” gives you inconsistent mouthfuls. Sometimes you’re getting a jolt of flavor, other times a whimper. 

The gelato was certainly smooth, but at the same time it lacked the frothy texture and almost whipped mouth feel that makes a cappuccino more than just espresso beans and milk. If anything, it reminded me of a condensed form of reduced fat ice cream, with the flavors dissipating rather than lingering (as an exceptionally rich ice cream would). The gelato melts quickly, and instead of holding its shape when scooped out, it sags back into a puddled indentation of sweetened cream, corn syrup, and yes, skim milk. My God, I just got a sickly but remarkably accurate image. This gelato develops old lady boobs. 

Jillian Michaels may not have been on hand to test my corollary to the Pint Test, but suffice to say, her iron will wouldn’t have crumbled beneath a few tasting spoonfuls. Make no mistake about it, there’s nothing particularly Italian about Häagen-Dazs’ venture into gelato, and nothing over-the-top or memorable about each spoonful.

It’s good, but so is every coffee ice cream I’ve ever had, many of which have not developed old lady boobs. I hate to be the guy who finally has to break the company’s impeccable record of product reviews here, but this is one Häagen-Dazs product which you won’t actually feel compelled to eat in one sitting.

*Despite outside photography, I didn’t actually eat said Gelato outside. That would have just been cold as balls.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 230 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat,62 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and 10% calcium)

Other Häagen-Dazs Gelato reviews:
Serious Eats
On Second Scoop

Item: Häagen-Dazs Cappuccino Gelato
Purchased Price: $3.86
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Clean and sweet coffee flavor. Smooth and creamy base with zero grit. Not finishing off an entire container and living with a day’s worth of self-disgust as you contemplate whether or not buying another pint is in order.
Cons: Not really a pint. Nothing exceptional or robust about the coffee flavor. Price per spoonful sucks. Cappuccino identity crisis. Melts too fast. Sags in your spoon like old lady boobs.

Oh Ben & Jerry’s, I can never stay away from you.

Yes, I made a big fuss last time about how I wasn’t interested in B&J’s latest offering, Cannoli Ice Cream.  But when it came down to it, I was weak.  For as much as I enjoyed the pumpkin coffee ice cream, I couldn’t wait to get the cannoli flavor home and take a taste.  I hope I don’t sound like a frozen dessert whore when I tell you that the two are sharing space in my freezer right now.  In my defense, I’ve never had a bowl of each in the same night.  A man has to have some morals.

So what convinced me to sample the forbidden ice cream?  Well, the package promises mascarpone ice cream (and fuck you, red squiggly spellcheck line, that IS how you spell it) with fudge-covered cannoli pastry shell chunks, plus a mascarpone swirl.  Actually, spellcheck is not a friend of “cannoli” either, which I think evinces a clear anti-Italian-American bias on the part of Microsoft.  Which in turn reminds me of that Sopranos episode where Paulie Walnuts got upset because schools weren’t properly celebrating Columbus Day, but we’re getting waaaay off topic, so never mind.

To be honest, I’m just a tad disappointed that the cows on the carton aren’t wearing suits or eating spaghetti bolognese or something, but that might’ve been culturally insensitive.  (For obvious reasons, leather jackets were a no-go.)  I do think they missed out on a prime opportunity to give us Ben & Jerry’s “Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli” ice cream, although the description on the back does advise you to leave the spoon, take the cannoli.  Which… doesn’t make much sense (how are you going to eat it without a spoon?), but whatever.

When you first remove the lid, you’re met with what looks like chocolate chip ice cream, and that general appearance persists as you dig deeper.  Never fear though, because like that guy you wouldn’t go out with in high school but then he becomes a moderately successful internet writer with cute kids, there’s more going on under the surface than it initially appears.  For starters, the primary flavor is sweeter than vanilla ice cream, with a lingering but pleasant aftertaste. It’s fairly rich and you do have to have a bit of a sweet tooth to properly enjoy it; my wife, who subsists on salt licks and seawater, was not as much of a fan as I was.

The chips/chunks do indeed have that extra little fudge element, plus they taste a bit like waffle cone, which I presume is the “pastry shell” element.  As for the mascarpone swirl, well, it’s not so much a visible swirl cutting through the ice cream as flecks peppered throughout the entire body.  Overall the texture is pleasing, thick and creamy with enough elements to keep it interesting, and the chunks aren’t tough to chew.

It is also super fattening, so you might want to be doing leg lifts or squats while eating it (or bicycle crunches if you’re crazy coordinated).  The calorie count is high though not ridiculous, but the saturated fat content is a cool 55% of your daily recommended value.  It’s okay though, the total fat is only 25%!  So as long as you’re okay with a 1/4 carton of this functioning as your entire lunch, go forth and conquer.

All jokes aside, like most of what Ben & Jerry’s has to offer, this is some good stuff.  It’s limited batch, so if you’re interested, best not delay in grabbing a carton.  Just make sure you’re committed to spending an extra 20 minutes at the gym the next day.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 280 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 23 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Cannoli Ice Cream reviews:
On Second Scoop
The Ice Cream Informant
Ben & Jerry’s Fanatic

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Cannoli Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $3.99 (or 2 for $7)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Very sweet and nuanced.  Good texture.  Effective way to bulk up for wrestling?  Fudge and pastry shell bits are delicious and relatively liberal.  Not too fattening if you only eat two bites at a time.
Cons: Missed Godfather jokes.  Probably even more fattening than most real cannolis.  You do have to have a taste for sweetness.  Cheating on the ice cream you brought home first.

While almost everyone who owns an ice cream company has recently introduced Greek frozen yogurt, Häagen-Dazs has, so far, stayed away from the trend. However, instead of going Greek, Häagen-Dazs has decided to go Italian.

According to a post at The Ice Cream Informant, Häagen-Dazs has released a line of gelato. However, it isn’t Häagen-Dazs’ first gelato effort. A quick Google search found that they released a line of the Italian dessert in 2000.

The new Häagen-Dazs Gelato line comes in seven flavors:

Black Cherry Amaretto – Blends black cherries with amaretto, an Italian liqueur (1/2 cup serving has 240 calories, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Cappuccino – Combines cappuccino and sweet cream gelato (1/2 cup serving has 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 23 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Dark Chocolate Chip – Mixes bittersweet chocolaty chips into dark chocolate gelato (1/2 cup serving has 270 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 24 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein)

Limoncello – Combines lemon gelato with vodka (1/2 cup serving has 240 calories 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Sea Salt Caramel – Blends sea salt caramel ribbons with caramel gelato (1/2 cup serving has 270 calories, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 29 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Stracciatella – Combines chocolaty shavings with sweet cream gelato (1/2 cup serving has 270 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Vanilla Bean – Do I really need to explain this one? (1/2 cup serving has 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 23 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

If you’ve tried the new (or old) Häagen-Dazs Gelato, let us know what you think of them in the comments below.

You see, Ben & Jerry’s? You see what happens?

Oh, I know how you think. “Old dependable Drew, he’s always around. We can just release new flavors anytime and anywhere we please, and he’ll go out of his way to track them down. So predictable.”

Well, guess what?

Now you have a new flavor out, and I couldn’t find it. And instead of driving to twelve different stores chasing it, I looked right in front of me and saw something else: Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream. And I chose it instead.

Sure, now you’ll realize your mistake and try to fix it. “We’ll release it to the grocery store closest to your house, Drew, we promise!” Sorry, Ben & Jerry’s. Too late. In this analogy, you’re the blonde cheerleader, and I’m Michael J. Fox, and Starbucks ice cream is the girl next door I always took for granted.

And also, I’m a werewolf.

So, to business. The carton bills this as swirled coffee and pumpkin spice ice creams. That’s not a typo, by the way — apparently the plural of ice cream is “ice creams.”

On the other hand, I’m a little suspicious about this container — the bar code is stamped over with a label reading “Sales Sample Not For Retail Sale,” although it still scanned at the self-checkout. Above it is more iffy spelling, “There’s a Starbucks in your freeze.”, followed by several sentences of what might be Latin or Italian or possibly Elvish.

I don’t know, I’m afraid to read it aloud for fear of invoking a demonic presence like Mephistopheles or Beetlejuice. (In all seriousness, it’s standard dummy text used in the printing industry. Though still possibly necromantic.) The whole thing is so damn weird that I’m including a picture, just so you don’t think I’m high as a monkey:

Right? After comparing it to pictures I’ve seen online, it certainly seems like they sold me a rough draft of this flavor, which hopefully is limited to the packaging, not the ice cream itself. (Oddities aside, the carton is cleverly designed to look like a Starbucks coffee cup, including little boxes with check marks through the “Pumpkin” and “Coffee” boxes.)

When you open the lid, you’re confronted with ice cream that’s a uniform beige color. It may be the least visually exciting dessert ever, but digging down a little deeper will reveal actual swirls of off-white mixed with the beige. I’m just guessing the off-white part is the pumpkin spice and the beige the coffee ice cream, but really, the whole thing could’ve used some orange food coloring. It’s pumpkin, guys, make it look like it.

And since that’s bound to be a question, yes, the pumpkin spice taste IS quite prominent, though not overwhelming. I enjoyed it without feeling like it was dominating my palate, though I did find that a little went a long way — this is an ice cream to have a few bites of every night for a week, rather than polishing off the entire pint in an evening. And while many products use the two terms synonymously, you’ll find there’s more of the spice flavor than of the pumpkin in this ice cream.

As for the “latte” element, the coffee ice cream component was noticeable and roughly as pronounced as the pumpkin spice. Personally I like the balance, but considering this is a Starbucks offering, if you’re looking for a bold coffee ice cream that’ll put you in your place, this isn’t it. I didn’t have any on hand, but I suspect some chocolate sauce would go really well with this dessert, for what that’s worth. There’s not much of an aftertaste — the flavor hits your taste buds immediately and then fades as soon as you swallow it, with just a tiny trace lingering. It also tastes sweet but not overly so; those of you turned off by excessive sugary flavor needn’t worry.

Overall, this is an enjoyable ice cream, though I wouldn’t really call it a “must try.” As the holiday season winds down, if you see a carton in the grocery store, go ahead and pick it up. (Assuming you have the cash to spare, anyway… at five bucks for a pint, this stuff ain’t cheap.) But no need to go out of your way to pick it up, since the holidays will be a distant memory before you’ve even finished with one pint.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 210 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream reviews:
The Ice Cream Informant
Brand Eating
ABC News

Item: Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Beta-testing ice cream. Good spice flavor mixed with decent coffee taste. Not overly sweet. Cool packaging. You won’t want to eat it all at once. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.
Cons: Description possibly written in ancient Sumerian. Looks incredibly bland. Like everything Starbucks makes, way too expensive. Cons ligula eget arcu hendrerit blandit.

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes are yummy.

I think millions of people would nod their heads in agreement with that statement above. So it’s kind of puzzling that Starbucks’ new Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream, which combines coffee and pumpkin spice ice creams, didn’t come out sooner. The Unilever-made Starbucks ice cream has been available since 2009, but only now Starbucks’ most popular seasonal flavor has an ice cream?

That, my friends, is wrong. But I’m glad that error has been corrected.

Holy hell! Do you know what would be awesome? If Starbucks allowed us to replace the milk in their Pumpkin Spice Latte with melted Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream.

That would be sweet!

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream will be sold in pints for a suggested retail price of $3.99. They’ll be available starting November 1 and remain on store shelves until February 2013.

Source: The Daily Meal

Update: Click here to read our Limited Batch Cannoli Ice Cream review

Today, Ben & Jerry’s posted on their Instagram account a sneak peak of their upcoming Limited Batch Cannoli Ice Cream. The flavor is made up of mascarpone ice cream with fudge covered cannoli pieces and a mascarpone swirl.

This isn’t the first Ben & Jerry’s ice cream that features cannoli as one of its main ingredients. In the late 90s, the Vermont-based company offered Holy Cannoli which contained ricotta and pistachio ice cream with chocolate covered cannolis and roasted pistachios.

So for those of you who have overused Ben & Jerry’s Resurrect A Flavor page to bring back Holy Cannoli, this new limited batch flavor might be as close as you’re going to get.

Source: Ben & Jerry’s Instagram

If you frequent a Häagen-Dazs shop, don’t get your usual scoop of Rum Raisin or something boring like that. Instead, try Häagen-Dazs’ new Sweet Balsamic Strawberry Sundae.

Unless, you’re allergic to strawberries, then stick with your usual scoop of Rum Raisin.

The dessert, or mid-mall shopping spree treat, is constructed of two scoops of strawberry ice cream with a drizzle of handmade tangy balsamic strawberry sauce, and topped with whipped cream. The ice cream and sauce creates a sweet, tangy, and creamy combination.

According to this story on the QSR website, Häagen-Dazs’ strawberry ice cream uses only Hood and Totem strawberries. This blew my mind because I thought there was only one type of strawberries — strawberries. I am now educated. Thanks, Häagen-Dazs!

The Sweet Balsamic Strawberry Sundae will be available at Häagen-Dazs shops for a limited time.

Source: QSR Magazine

Well kids, summer time is here.

As a resident of Florida that means I’ll be spending the next two months scurrying from one air conditioned location to the next trying to keep my eye balls from boiling in their own juices.

It also means I’ll be enjoying delicious, refreshing ice cream! Indoors of course. Not many people know this, but ice cream doesn’t melt outdoors in the Florida sun. It sublimates immediately into its gaseous form. One of my favorite activities as a teen was driving up and down Gulf Boulevard trying to spot fluffy mint chocolate chip clouds drifting off to Mexico. My friends and I would laugh and laugh at the disappointed children crying on the curb staring into their empty waffle cones.

I haven’t really been big into ice cream until recently. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been seeking it out more frequently. Though I still adhere to my belief that it is unacceptable for a grown man to order an ice cream cone alone. I keep a blonde wig and big sunglasses in my car in case the Golden Arches should catch my eye as I’m driving home.

This week I was able ride the cutting edge of candy/ice cream conversion and sample some of the latest offerings from Good Humor. They were these York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream Bars and Mounds Ice Cream Bars.

I went at the York Peppermint Pattie variety first under strict orders from my wife to hurry up and open them already. She has a thing for Peppermint Patties and is a freakish ice cream-eating machine.

These bars follow the same structural specifications as a Klondike bar (Unilever makes Good Humor and Klondikes), except for the fact that they are round. They have a smooth “peppermint light ice cream” center wrapped in a layer of “dark chocolate flavored coating.” Despite that rather terrible product description, these bars are good. They would pass my patented Snack Flavor Recreation Closed-Eyes Flavor Identification Test with flying colors.

The ice cream in the center is very fluffy and airy, the flavor of the ice cream is a perfect re-creation of a Peppermint Pattie center, and the chocolate coating did indeed taste like that of a Dark Chocolate Klondike bar. It was great.

One thing I found myself wanting for the Peppermint Pattie was the Klondike foil wrapper. The Peppermint Pattie bars came in standard plastic (cellophane?) pouches which tore a little too easily. They did an adequate job of containing each bar as I ate them, but didn’t really comes close to the re-configurable convenience of the foil wrap. Perhaps the technology is not there yet for foiling round shapes.

I liked the Mounds bar even more. Same deal. Fluffy ice cream center that tastes like a Mounds bar with a dark chocolate shell. I was very glad they included coconut bits in the ice cream as there is nothing I hate more than coconut flavored confections sans bits. That is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person.

The Mounds bars were oval-shaped and worked much better with the pouch.

Both of these ice cream bars are very straightforward. There’s nothing revelatory. They simply taste like their original counterparts, which is a very good thing. If you like a Mounds or enjoy a Peppermint Pattie, you will like these.

You could do worse this summer.

(Editor’s Note/Disclosure: Steve received free samples of both ice cream bars for review. We didn’t receive any monetary compensation for this review, nor would we ever accept monetary compensation for a review. But, if we did, we would totally disclose it and not use some cryptic disclosure standard or beat around the bush.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar (59g) – York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream Bar – 170 calories, 10 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Mounds Ice Cream Bar – 190 calories, 11 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Good Humor York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream Bar and Mounds Ice Cream Bar reviews;
On Second Scoop
Freezer Burns (Mounds)
Freeer Burns (York Peppermint Pattie)

Item: Good Humor York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream Bar and Mounds Ice Cream Bar
Price: FREE
Size: 6 bars per box
Purchased at: Received for free from Good Humor
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Peppermint Pattie)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Mounds)
Pros: Perfect flavor re-creation. Coconut bits in the Mounds Ice Cream Bar. Summer. My wife.
Cons: Lack of Klondike foil. Boiled eye balls. Ice cream sublimation

I recently watched a biography about Ben & Jerry’s on Netflix while taste testing the flavors from the new Wonka Ice Cream line. Ever since then, I’ve been having a recurring nightmare that goes something like this:

NO, BEN!

NO, JERRY!

I’M SORRY!

I won’t cheat on you two ever again! Please don’t give me concrete shoes and turn me into Phish Food. No, Ben. I can’t take anymore whipping of my Cinnamon Buns. Jerry? What are you doing with that knife? No! Not the Banana Split! Not the Banana Split, Jerry! No more Bonnaroo Buzz, Ben. My nipples can’t take any more. Please, I don’t want anymore Schweddy Balls from another Chubby Hubby sitting on my chest. I can’t breathe. Please, can’t you Imagine Whirled Peace?

Maybe it’s my conscience telling me I shouldn’t cheat on Ben & Jerry’s. Or maybe it’s my body telling me I shouldn’t eat ice cream right before I go to sleep.

Wonka’s new ice cream line comes in seven flavors: Chocolate Snowflakes, Kerfuffle Truffle, Chipperberry Swirl, Chocolate Chipper Chip, Chocolate Mintropolis, Caramel Nut Kadoozle, and Kernelpuff Caramelstuff. And I’m going to review all seven of them right now in an order that does not follow the previous sentence.

Kerfuffle Truffle

If you were jealous of Augustus Gloop when he fell into the chocolate river, but not when he got sucked through a pipe, you can experience a near drowning by chocolate with Wonka’s Kerfuffle Truffle Ice Cream, which is made up of chocolate ice cream with chocolate truffles and fudge swirls. This was my least favorite of the seven flavors, but not because it tasted like what I imagine somekind of gloop tastes like or anything like that.

I hoped the three parts of the ice cream would create a flavor kerfuffle, but the firm chocolate truffles and almost pudding-like fudge swirl didn’t make the ice cream taste anything more than a regular chocolate ice cream. They did give the ice cream a variety of textures and it’s good for a chocolate ice cream, but because it doesn’t stray from that, it’s a little disappointing. Not very Wonka.

Chocolate Snowflakes

Much like Kerfuffle Truffle, Chocolate Snowflake is good, but it’s not a very creative flavor. Sure, the combination of vanilla ice cream with “melt in your mouth” chocolate flakes might have you thinking of something magical, but it’s just a chocolate chip ice cream. Yes, there was melting in my mouth, but it was the vanilla ice cream that did most of the melting, which it should’ve been since it’s heat-hating ice cream. The chocolate flakes do melt away, but it happens much later after the ice cream does. Perhaps, they should’ve called the ice cream “Chocolate Hail.” The vanilla ice cream is bright white, which makes it easier for the chocolate flakes stand out, and there are a lot of chocolate flakes. But, again, it’s a simple flavor.

Chocolate Mintropolis

When I bite into one of the mini peppermint patties in the Wonka Chocolate Mintropolis Ice Cream, I get the sensation of wishing it had a stronger mintiness that makes me get the sensation of my mouth feeling like it’s the lobby of the Sorrisniva Igloo Hotel in Alta, Norway. Chocolate Mintropolis also has chocolate mint cookie chunks swimming in its chocolate ice cream, but the ice cream as a whole is not as minty as I would’ve liked.

However, it’s a pleasurable ice cream with four different textures: the chocolate ice cream’s creaminess, the mini peppermint patty’s firmness, the chewiness of some of the chocolate mint cookie pieces, and the crunchiness of the other cookie chunks. The crunchiness surprised me because when I first started eating the ice cream, all I got were chewy cookies, but then I got a spoonful with a crunch, and then another. That surprise crunch is kind of Wonka-like, don’t you think?

There’s enough mini peppermint patties and chocolate mint cookies to ensure you have a bit of either in every spoonful. While Chocolate Mintropolis isn’t as minty as I hoped, I do think it’s a couple steps above Kerfuffle Truffle.

Chipperberry Swirl

You know how I complained about how Chocolate Snowflake was a simple flavor? Well, Chipperberry Swirl pretty much takes the vanilla ice cream and chocolate in Chocolate Snowflake and makes it better with the addition of black raspberry ice cream. It’s the only flavor with any fruit flavor. The fruity ice cream is a little tangy, which makes Chipperberry Swirl taste like a frozen yogurt, but its nutrition facts and ingredients list assures me that it isn’t. The raspberry ice cream blends well with the chocolate chips, which there were a lot of.

Oh, I should mention the chocolate chips aren’t like the chocolate chips you’d find in cookies, they’re chips of chocolate, like the chips of ice one would find scattered around an ice sculpture in the lobby of the Sorrisniva Igloo Hotel in Alta, Norway. Much like the other flavors, there were a lot of add-ins in Chipperberry Swirl. There are so many chocolate chips that if you don’t get some as you scoop some out, consider yourself the worst scooper ever. But you’ll have many opportunities to practice your scooping because this is a hard flavor to put down.

Caramel Nut Kadoozle

Wonka’s Caramel Nut Kadoozle contains a caboodle of nuts. Within its caramel ice cream there are walnut caramel swirls and pieces of mixed nut brittle which have peanuts, almonds, walnuts, cashews, and pecans. If you love caramel as much as I love the feel of baby oil on skin, you’ll enjoy the one-two punch of the caramel ice cream and walnut caramel swirls. The gooey swirls are sweet, but they’re also a little nutty and salty, which also are the red flags I look for when out on first dates.

What makes this ice cream extraordinary is the mixed nut brittle, which provides not only a crunchy texture, but also a bit of mystery with every chunk. With each piece, I wasn’t sure what nutty flavor I’d get after biting into it. It could be mostly peanuts, or cashews, or walnuts, or any combination of the five nuts. Your molars are the key to each mystery mixed nut brittle chunk.

Kernelpuff Caramelstuff

I became sad when I looked through Kernelpuff Caramelstuff’s ingredient list and didn’t see popped popcorn kernels. I’ve had ice creams with bits of cakes, cookies, pretzels, and potato chips, but I’ve always wanted to experience an ice cream with popcorn mixed in. My ice cream/popcorn fantasy remains a fantasy because instead of popcorn, Kernelpuff Caramelstuff has bits of puffed millet. Here’s a Wikipedia link in case you’re like me and thought a millet was what one calls a mullet when it’s on a child younger than six years old.

Along with the puffed millet, Kernelpuff Caramelstuff is also made up of caramel ice cream, pecan pralines and salted caramel swirls. The puffed millet doesn’t really add any flavor, but their texture is similar to those tiny bits of popcorn you’d find at the bottom of the microwaveable popcorn bag or the tub of movie theater popcorn. It adds a different mouthfeel with the creamy ice cream, gooey caramel, and crunchy pecan pralines. The pecan pralines are divine; they’re more sweet than nutty, which helps this ice cream flavor differentiate itself from the nuttier Caramel Nut Kadoozle.

Chocolate Chipper Chip

Finally, there’s Chocolate Chipper Chip, which turns me into the demanding Veruca Salt because the combination of vanilla ice cream with chocolate and potato chips bark pieces makes me want to sing “I Want It Now.” The flavor is similar to Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack, except it lacks a caramel swirl and the potato chips don’t come in fudge covered potato chip ball form. But it doesn’t need the caramel swirl because the sweet and slightly salty combination works well with this ice cream.

Like the other Wonka Ice Cream flavors, there are a lot of add-ins in the 14-ounce container of Chocolate Chipper Chip. Every spoonful had a bit of the chocolate and potato chip bark. The potato chips taste like regular Lay’s potato chips, but 50 percent of the time it was hard to detect that flavor through the chocolate. I also noticed a lack of potato chip crunch as I scooped my way through the ice cream, which was extremely disappointing and made me think Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack got it right with their fudge covered potato chip balls. Despite these issues, Chocolate Chipper Chip is my favorite of the seven Wonka Ice Cream flavors, but not by much over Kernelpuff Caramelstuff and Caramel Nut Kadoozle.

You can’t go wrong with any of the Wonka Ice Cream flavors. There are a few boring flavors, but none of them are bad. As I mentioned throughout this review, each container of ice cream has a lot of add-ins and they’re in easy scoopable pieces. And that’s what stands out with these Wonka Ice Cream flavors. There have been several Ben & Jerry’s flavors I’ve tried that have had huge, hard pieces of brownies or toffee bars that forced me to stab into the pint of ice cream with my spoon like I’m getting revenge for making me chubby in order to break down those pieces into smaller chunks. That’s a nightmare I don’t like to face when I’m trying to enjoy some ice cream.

(Disclaimer: I received samples of Wonka Ice Cream for free in order to write this review. Too bad I’m not going through a break up right now, because if I was, the fat from the seven containers of ice cream in my freezer would fill the broken parts of my heart.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Caramel Nut Kadoozle – 250 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 135 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, and 26 grams of sugar. Chipperberry Swirl – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, and 18 grams of sugar. Chocolate Chipper Chip – 270 calories, 17 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, and 21 grams of sugar. Chocolate Mintropolis – 250 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 70 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, and 19 grams of sugar. Chocolate Snowflakes – 1/2 cup serving – 220 calories, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, and 18 grams of sugar. Kerfuffle Truffle – 260 calories, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 28 grams of carbohydrates, and 22 grams of sugar. Kernelpuff Caramelstuff – 230 calories, 13 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, and 23 grams of sugar.)

Other Wonka Ice Cream reviews:
On Second Scoop: Caramel Nut Kadoozle and Kerfuffle Truffle
The Mind of a Big Cat
SacFoodies

Item: Wonka Ice Cream
Price: FREE
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Received from the nice folks at Nestle
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Kerfuffle Truffle)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Chocolate Snowflakes)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chocolate Mintropolis)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chipperberry Swirl)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Caramel Nut Kadoozle)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Kernelpuff Caramelstuff)
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Chocolate Chipper Chip)
Pros: Chocolate Chipper Chip makes me chipper. Caramel Nut Kadoozle is a doozy. Kernelpuff Caramelstuff is the stuff. Chipperberry Swirl makes me squeal like a little girl. Chocolate Mintropolis is all right. Lots of add-ins in easy to scoop pieces. Upside down labels are a nice Wonka touch.
Cons: Not available nationwide, yet. As decadent as other premium ice creams. Comes in 14 ounce containers. Kernelpuff Caramelstuff doesn’t contain popcorn. Kerfuffle Truffle and Chocolate Snowflakes are boring.

Hey, people who were born in the 1990s and make me feel old! You can enjoy Cold Stone Creamery ice cream treats inspired by the stuff your grandparents might’ve shared in the 1950s on a date at an ice cream parlor before going home and conceiving your parents.

For a limited time, Cold Stone is offering two retro-inspired ice cream flavors, Cherry Vanilla and Chocolate Malt. Each flavor is the base for two new Cold Stone Creations, Cherry Vanilla Cherry Pie (Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream with black cherries, graham cracker pie crust, and caramel) and Malt My Heart with Chocolate (Chocolate Malt Ice Cream with bananas, fudge, and whipped topping).

Cold Stone is also offering a line of desserts called Retro Classics, which include a Classic Hot Fudge Sundae, Classic Turtle Sundae, Classic Banana Royale, and Classic Root Beer Float. Don’t know what a Turtle Sundae or Banana Royale is? Ask your grandparents…or Wikipedia.

Cold Stone Creamery’s retro treats are available now through August 31 at all locations.