The Raspberry Goji Jello contains the antioxidants vitamins A and E.

Oh, I remember a time when those two weren’t known as antioxidants. I can’t quite recall what they were called. Let me think for a moment. It’s on the tip of my tongue.

Oh yeah, that’s right, they were just called vitamins.

When did vitamins A and E become antioxidants? I thought antioxidants were scientific sounding things with names that are made up of ten or more letters, like polyphenols, flavonoids, and carotenoids. If vitamins A and E are antioxidants, then the Skippy Peanut Butter that contains vitamin E can technically be called Skippy Peanut Butter with Antioxidants and the fortified milk I drink that has vitamin A could also be called Fortified Milk with Antioxidants.

Those names would not only be silly, but they would also make it much harder to sing the 1980s ABC Public Service Announcement “Quickfast” by The Bod Squad.

A piece of toast and one of these:
Some Skippy Peanut Butter with Antioxidants or a slice of cheese.
Fortified Milk with Antioxidants or juice to wash it down.
It’s the fast fast quick fastest breakfast in town!

(Note: For those of you who are too young to know what I’m referring to here, please listen to this MP3 of PSA history. For those of you who are old enough to know what I’m referring to, your mother told me to ask you when are you going to get married and/or when are you having children?)

The Raspberry Goji Jello may have antioxidants but it seems it doesn’t get them from the raspberries and goji berries, which are known to be high in a variety of antioxidants. One of the reasons why I believe they don’t provide any antioxidants is because are both great sources of Vitamin C, but according to the Jello packaging it’s not a significant source of it. But the more obvious reason is because, according to the ingredients list, the Jello gets its vitamin E via vitamin E acetate, while the vitamin A comes from added beta-carotene. So it seems the raspberries and goji berries provide flavor, but no antioxidants, which is kind of deceiving.

Speaking of the Raspberry Goji Jello’s flavor, it had a sweet, pleasant taste. I could taste the raspberry, but the Jello wasn’t at all tart. I’m not sure what goji berries taste like so, I’m not sure if I could taste them. But combined it created a nice flavor, with a hint of an artificial sweetener aftertaste, thanks to the aspartame and deceit in it.

Each container of the Raspberry Goji Jello with Antioxidants is a good source of vitamins A and E, if you consider 10 percent of your daily recommended intake of them “a good source.” It’s also fat free, sugar free and contains only 10 calories per serving — making it a guilt-free snack. But just don’t expect it to be your main source of antioxidants.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container – 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 45 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbs, 0 grams of sugar, 1 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A and 10% vitamin E.)

(Note: Gigi also reviewed them. Also, I’m boycotting the hyphen that’s in the name Jello because I think it serves no purpose.)

Item: Raspberry Goji Jello with Antioxidants
Price: $5.49
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Sweet, pleasant flavor. Only 10 calories per serving. Sugar free. No fat. No preservatives. Reliving the 1980s.
Cons: Raspberries and Goji berries don’t appear to provide antioxidants. Despite what the packaging says, it’s not really a good source of vitamins A & E. Slight artificial sweetener aftertaste. Pricey for what you get. Being asked silly questions by your parents.

Today’s review is unlike any other review I’ve done. It going to be an xtreme review!!!

It’s sooo xtreme that I had to use THREE exclamation points for the previous sentence.

How do I plan to make this review of X-treme Jell-O Chocolate Pudding Sticks xtreme? Um…for example, you can’t see it, but I’m typing with ONE HAND! That’s so xtreme! Right?

Well these pudding sticks come in a box of eight, with easy-to-open tabs. I went through all eight in three days (I’m a growing boy, you know). They also come in two other flavors: Oreo and Chips Ahoy!, which the national grocery store chain I shop at didn’t have. I think it’s about time I shop at another grocery store chain, because the store I shop at never has the flavors I want, like the elusive Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts.

The best part of these pudding sticks is the no-hassle clean up. When you make pudding there’s a lot of cleanup, which involves washing of bowls and spoons, also the possible need to wash your face from trying the lick the bowl clean.

With these convenient pudding sticks, all you do is squeeze and suck out the chocolate goodness, like it was a tube of toothpaste. When you’re done, just throw the empty stick away. It’s so easy to remember: squeeze, suck, and throw away. Isn’t that xtreme?

So how do they taste? Chowing down on these creamy chocolate confections causes my consciousness to come to a consuming constant climax. Okay, not totally true, but they’re really good. At least the alliteration was xtreme! Wasn’t it?

Okay try this:

Chocolate flavor.
Wrapped in a convenient stick.
Sugary goodness.

Haiku, baby! How xtreme is that?

Probably the most xtreme thing about the pudding sticks, if pudding sticks can be considered xtreme in the first place, is the fact Jell-O encourages you to freeze them. Freezing them doesn’t make them better or easier to eat, all it does is make them a little more dangerous if you fly one across the room to your eight-year-old.

Is that xtreme?

Item: X-treme Jell-O Chocolate Pudding Sticks
Purchase Price: $3.49 (on sale)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: No spoons necessary to eat pudding. Chocolate pudding goodness in a stick form. Freezable.
Cons: Not really xtreme.