REVIEW: Jelly Belly Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Beans

Jelly Belly Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Beans

The year is 2055.

Hoverboard gangs roam the streets. Star Wars Episode XXI: The Force Earns Its Pension is a hit at the box office. The elderly President Gosling has just been elected to a historic 4th term with his smoldering campaign slogan, “Hey girl. I heard you like economic reform.”

Oh, and all food now comes in capsule form.

That’s right, as you head to your favorite breakfast joint, “House of Dancakes,” you notice how the hip, happenin’, and blissfully ignorant youth pop pills of scrambled eggs and bacon, with no memory of the days before society was encapsulated. Heaving a nostalgic sigh, you lock eyes with the owner. With a knowing look, he begins to spin you a tale: “Let me tell you how this whole journey began…”

It’s 2015 once more, and Jelly Belly Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Beans are the brand’s latest attempt to squish the taste of all of your favorite foods into an artificially flavored, vaguely legume-shaped snack. Released on 4/22 to celebrate National Jelly Bean Day (only coincidentally close to 4/20, right Jelly Belly?), the beans contain all the ingredients that grandma used to use in her homemade flapjacks, like “Yellow 5 & 6, Confectioner’s Glaze, and Caranauba Wax.”

Mmmm, Caranauba Wax.

Jelly Belly Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Beans 2

The back of the homespun, gingham packaging reads like something out of a sexy lumberjack romance novel — I think I grew a beard just reading it. Tearing open the packaging, I’m immediately slapped in the nose with a strong and recognizable maple syrup scent. The shiny, mahogany beans beckon, so I dive in.

Popping one in my mouth, that iconic maple taste hits fast. It’s certainly more artificial than genuine—think Mrs. Buttersworth, not Grade A Vermont Dark Amber—but the accuracy of Jelly Belly’s flavor reenactment is charming just the same. However, unlike real maple syrup, the flavor doesn’t linger for more than a few seconds. After fading, I’m left chewing an entirely different-tasting bean. This “after-bean” really echoes the “Pancake” part of the product’s name: doughy, with just a hint of butter flavoring.

Jelly Belly Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Beans 3

I take a whole handful to experience that brief ecstasy of maple taste again, but as the cake flavor returns, I’m left regretting it. I hesitate to use the word “mouthfeel” (it sounds clichéd and a bit…uncomfortable), but eating these beans for long just feels weird. Like chewing a pancake that was way undercooked, the grit of the beans contrast unpleasantly with my mind’s expectation of a fluffy flapjack. I think Jelly Belly’s problem here is the fading maple flavor. If they could have made it last, the whole experience could have been more enjoyable. Wishing to test this, I went all out.

Jelly Belly Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Beans 4

Dousing my beans in the dark, sticky nectar of the maple gods, I ate a syrupy spoonful, and what I tasted made me instinctually bellow “Oh, Canadaaaa” across my empty kitchen. An extra kick of maple coupled wonderfully with those buttery undertones, and I was left with what the beans should’ve tasted like. But unless you want your life to become a sugar-fueled parody of Hollywood’s darkest addiction films (Grainspotting? Requiem for a Crème? Fine, I’ll stop), I really can’t recommend trying this. Okay, maybe just once. Then you can stop cold turkey. I promise.

For what they are, these jelly beans are little more than clever novelties. Like the “fireworks” of jelly bean flavors, they’re worth buying a small bag to enjoy the fleeting entertainment. Just make sure no one gets hurt in the process.

Though I must applaud Jelly Belly all the same for trying something progressive. Jolly good show, ol’ bean, and may I soon see the day when even “Braised Sirloin Tips with Steamed Broccoli” is available in cute little niblets.

(Nutrition Facts – 35 pieces – 140 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 28 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Jelly Belly Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Beans
Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 3.1 oz bag
Purchased at: Jelly Belly Online Store
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Brief burst of maple goodness. A holistic pancake experience when coupled with more syrup. Ryan Gosling as president. Making puns with my name.
Cons: Fleeting maple bliss. Bizarre “undercooked pancake” mouthfeel. The word “mouthfeel.” Random acts of Canada (I’m American, I swear!).

NEWS: Jelly Belly and Tabasco Team Up To Make Sweet and Spicy Jelly Beans

TABASCO

Jelly Belly, the company that makes jelly beans in flavors that your heart does and doesn’t desire, has teamed up with Tabasco to produce sweet and spicy jelly beans.

The new jelly bean flavor uses genuine Tabasco seasoning, giving them the flavor and kick Tabasco lovers will enjoy. It will also give those who get off on eating Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans a new weird flavor to try.

Jelly Belly’s Tabasco Jelly Belly beans are currently available in bulk, in case you wanted to burn your mouth for hours by chain eating them. A webpage to order 3.1-ounce bags is up on the company’s online store, but according to the Drugstore News story, Jelly Belly won’t release the Tabasco flavor in the smaller bags until December.

Do you think Tabasco-flavored jelly beans are weird? Let us know in the comments.

Source: Drugstore News

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 2/25/2012

Ugh

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Fried pickles, fried cheddar cheese curds, fried bubblegum, fried mashed potatoes, and a fried Pop-Tart. I think I need to chug some Pepto-Bismol because typing the previous sentence has given me an upset stomach. (via Tampa Bay Food Monster)

Speaking of Pepto-Bismol, this looks like Pepto-Bismol and probably does the opposite of what Pepto-Bismol does. (via Junk Food Guy)

I’m sorry. This beverage just makes me think of boobs. (via Thirsty Dudes)

I’m disappointed Wendy’s doesn’t name their Premium North Pacific Cod Fillet sandwich, Cut-O-Cod. It would make it sound more like Filet-O-Fish and it’s a lot easier to type than Wendy’s Premium North Pacific Cod Fillet Sandwich. (via Fast Food Geek)

KHAAAAAN!!!!! CARAAAAAMELS!!!!! (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 7/23/2011

Hot Sauce

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Last week, it was fast food condiments. This week, Justin over at An Immovable Feast reviewed hot sauces. Next week, I hope he reviews ketchup packets. (via An Immovable Feast)

I’ve stepped and slipped on poo and each time I’ve never gotten any joy from it. So I’m not sure I’d get joy from a beverage called Kickapoo. However, I have found joy with cow chip throwing. (via The Soda Jerks)

You know what sounds worse than eating a military MRE (Meal Ready to Eat)? Eating a military MRE cold. (via Clearance Cuisine)

Hey, man. There’s a hemp energy drink called Chillo. Dude, an energy drink with the word chill in its name? That totally blows my mind. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

Are you sad the Harry Potter series is over? Temporarily wash away your sadness with Harry Potter’s Butterbeer or intensify your pain with vomit, sausage, dirt, and worm Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. (via Snack Love and Candy Gurus)

NEWS: Snapple-Flavored Jelly Beans Are Made From The Best Stuff In Jelly Belly’s Factory

Snapple!

Is there anything Snapple won’t attach itself to?

Besides the Snapple Lady.

Snapple teamed up with the reality show The Amazing Race to promote their Papaya Mango Tea. The company also worked with worked with Bret Michaels during a season of Celebrity Apprentice to create their Trop-A-Rocka flavor.

Two reality shows? My goodness. Snapple is like the Kardashian of beverage companies because if it didn’t have those reality shows, I would’ve forgotten about them.

And now they’re joining Jelly Belly to create a line of Snapple-flavored jelly beans.

The Jelly Belly Snapple Mix is made up of five Snapple flavors: Fruit Punch, Mango Madness, Cranberry Raspberry, Pink Lemonade and Kiwi Strawberry. Each jelly bean is made from real fruit juice and purees. They’re also fat free, gluten free, dairy free, certified OU Kosher, and contain no artificial coloring.

Jelly Belly Snapple Mix will be available at the Jelly Belly website later this month and in 10-lb. bulk cases at candy stores with suggested retail prices $8.99 to $9.99 per pound. Snapple also plans to release a 3.1-oz. bag with a suggested retail price of $2.49 and a 1.65-oz. Jelly Belly Snapple Bottle.

Source: Candy and Snack Today