REVIEW: StarKist Chunk Light Sandwich-Ready Tuna Salad

Tuna is a food that people either love or hate.

Now, when I say tuna, I’m talking about the shredded stuff that’s in a can or pouch form, not the high quality stuff you may find in a nice sushi restaurant, or a shady sushi restaurant that serves it on naked women. I’m talking about good old fashioned tuna that when combined with mayo and Wonder Bread creates a brown bag lunch that everyone knows is a tuna fish sandwich before you even open the bag.

Those who make their own tuna salad are pretty hardcore about it. What brand to use, whether it’s packed in olive oil or water, how much mayo, or even if they should add celery. I’m pretty straight up with my tuna and just mix it with some mayo. But when I’m feeling daring or motivated after watching the Food Network or pissed off after watching Rachael Ray on the Food Network, I like to include some sundried tomatoes, a little bit of lemon, some celery, and if I’m pissed off at Rachael Ray, I will say “extra virgin olive oil” instead of EVOO.

But most of the time, I’m lazy and rather have someone else, or a leading producer, distributor and marketer of shelf-stable and frozen seafood products in the United States, make me tuna salad when I have a weird craving for it like I did this past weekend after I saw The Vagina Monologues.

Charlie the Tuna and his StarKist Chunk Light Sandwich-Ready Tuna Salad to the rescue!

Well, maybe not. This tuna salad was pretty blah in comparison to one that I can whip up myself. Fancy Feast cat food came to mind after I opened up the package and slopped it down between two slices of bread. Tuna in a can or space-aged pouch almost always has an odor attached to it, and this product was no different. However, this tuna surprisingly didn’t have an uber fishy taste. So even though it may have smelled like cat food, it didn’t really taste like it. Now I’m not saying I’ve had cat food, but I’ve taken a whiff of some once and that shit could be used as a bioweapon.

The taste of the StarKist Chunk Light Sandwich-Ready Tuna Salad was a little tangy and it was edible, despite my comparisons to Fancy Feast, but I just couldn’t finish an entire sandwich. There’s very little mayo in it (or any at all, I couldn’t really tell), which was probably the reason why the entire pouch of tuna was only 100 calories. Too bad the sandwich I made with it was lousy and unmemorable, unlike the nice tuna sandwiches of my yesteryear with mayo on soft Wonder Bread.

Sorry, Charlie.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pouch – 100 Calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 13 grams of protein, 2% calcium and 4% iron.)

Item: StarKist Chunk Light Sandwich-Ready Tuna Salad
Price: $1.79
Size: 3 ounces
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Low in calories. Wonder Bread. Tuna in pouches for those who don’t own a can opener. Contains Omega-3′s. Convenient when you need a tuna salad fix quick. The Vagina Monologues.
Cons: Pretty boring. Reminds me of cat food. Being too lazy to make my own tuna salad. Not having a can opener. Strong tuna fish smell. Using cat food a bioweapon. Rachael Ray creating the term EVOO.