In order to get my hands on the Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly Candwich, I had to purchase it online and in a pack of four. Since I needed only one Candwich in order to review it, I’m stuck left with three unopened cans.

I thought about what could I do with those three Candwich cans which have May 26, 2012 expiration date. I thought about doing something honorable and donating them to a food bank. I thought about throwing one into the ocean and letting the currents take it on a journey across the Pacific Ocean and hopefully ending up in the hands of someone in Mexico. But, instead I decided to give them away via a prize drawing and let three randomly chosen Impulsive Buy readers experience the wonder and not-so-delight of the Candwich.

To enter The Impulsive Buy’s Can I Get A Candwich Drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. I don’t really care what you say in your comment, but it would be cool if you used your favorite portmanteau in it.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Sunday, August 7, 2011 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person, and it’s open to everyone who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails in the following languages: Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, and gibberish. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you weekly takeout menus. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or your fear of the Candwich.

I got the t-shirt (size large) pictured above for free from the folks at Carl’s Jr. I’ve had it in my possesion for six or seven months, but I’ve never worn it. It’s been sitting the cardboard box it came in because I forgot about it. During the time it’s been in the box, the Green Hornet movie was released in theaters and on DVD.

I thought about using the t-shirt as a rag. I thought about donating it to Goodwill. I thought about using it to cover my bare chest. But I decided that this t-shirt should cover the chest of an Impulsive Buy reader or be used as a rag by an Impulsive Buy reader. So it’s time to have another quick prize drawing and I’m going to call it:

The Impulsive Buy’s T-Shirt/Rag Promoting A Movie That Came Out Almost Six Months Ago Prize Drawing

To enter The Impulsive Buy’s T-Shirt/Rag Promoting A Movie That Came Out Almost Six Months Ago Prize Drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. Say whatever you like.

For those of you who have a Twitter account, you can increase your odds of winning by tweeting the following message before June 24, 2011 11:59 PM Hawaii Standard Time:

I read @theimpulsivebuy and all I can win is this lousy t-shirt. http://bit.ly/iXShkT

Only one tweet per Twitter account. Please follow @theimpulsivebuy on Twitter so that if the winner is picked via tweets, I’ll be able to contact the winner.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails for free Viagra in Spanish. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you my depleted AA batteries. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or the t-shirt not fitting properly.

Someday, the creepy BK pillowcase featuring The King I’m about to give away will be valuable. Probably not tomorrow. Probably not next year. Probably not a decade from now. But the creepy BK pillowcase will be valuable when the robots take over the Earth because it will make a wonderful sack for gathering food while trying to avoid being detected by well-armed robots.

But that’s not for a long time, so the winner of the BK pillowcase will have to decide whether to keep it as a collectable and later sell it on eBay for tens of dollars, use it to cover a pillow, or turn it into a sack to help feed the survivors of the future great robot war.

And the person who will have to make that decision when they win this creepy BK pillowcase is:

Mir

Congratulations to Mir, who was selected using an online random number generator (who will probably be General Online Random Number Generator during the great robot war).

Also, thank you to everyone who participated. I hope to have another prize drawing soon.

Last year, to promote their new breakfast menu, Burger King released a television commercial that featured a pillowcase with their new breakfast menu on one side and The King’s face on the other. You can read more about the pillowcase here and here. That pillowcase was available for a short time and yours truly pulled out the plastic and purchased two of them.

When I received them several weeks later, I opened one and put it on my pillow. After five minutes of resting my head on it, I realized how stupid of an impulsive buy it was. First off, the pillowcase is white, so all the drooling I do while sleeping will easily stain it. Secondly, I can’t practice my kissing with this pillow because it’s as if I’m making out with The King. I could flip it over and practice kissing the other side with the breakfast menu, but to me it would feel like I’m kissing the back of The King’s neck. Thirdly, the pillowcases aren’t made using 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton.

Anyhoo, after putting them in the back of my dresser, I forgot about them. But I remembered I had them after learning about Burger King’s makeover and The King’s demise. Since one of the pillowcases is still in its original sealed packaging and I’m never going to open it, I thought I should give it away to a lucky Impulsive Buy reader.

To enter The Impulsive Buy’s Burger King Pillowcase Prize Drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. I don’t really care what you say in your comment, but please leave The King either a heartfelt goodbye or a heartless good riddance.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winner for his or her mailing address. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Friday, June 10, 2011 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person, and it’s open to everyone who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails telling you to watch a YouTube video that you probably already saw months ago. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you Sears Roebuck catalogs from the 1980s. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or nightmares with the The King.

Here are the three winners of The Impulsive Buy’s Extra Dessert Delights Gum Prize Drawing:

1. David
2. Angela O
3. beerorkid

Congratulations to all three winners, who will be receiving a pack of all three Extra Dessert Delights flavors. I’d also like to thank everyone who participated and expanded my urban vocabulary.

We have chewing gum; you have jaws. Let’s make something happen.

For this month’s prize drawing, The Impulsive Buy will be giving away three sets of all three Extra Dessert Delights flavors — Strawberry Shortcake, Key Lime Pie, and Mint Chocolate Chip. If you want to read a review, Nichol reviewed them last month.

To enter The Impulsive Buy’s Dessert Delights Drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. I don’t really care what you say in your comment, but it would be nice if you used a random term from Urban Dictionary in it.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing address. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Sunday, January 23, 2011 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person, and it’s open to everyone who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you email with the line “me love you long time” in the subject field. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you a big ball of used chewing gum that someone has been adding to for years. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, breaking your New Year’s Resolution or sore jaws.