Wow! 300 reviews!

I can’t believe The Impulsive Buy has reached this milestone. But what’s more impressive is the fact that I didn’t need illegal performance enhancing drugs to reach it. All it took was hard work and dedication.

Some of you might say, “Well isn’t caffeine a performance enhancing drug? We all know you’ve done a lot of caffeine.”

My response to that would be, “No, caffeine is a legal, unregulated substance, and according to the Food and Drug Administration it’s safe for consumption. Now leave me alone, before I get all Barry Bonds on your ass and starting whining and complaining about the media.”

To celebrate the 300th review, The Impulsive Buy will be holding a prize drawing.

Three lucky readers will each receive a $25 gift certificate to Threadless, which The Impulsive Buy reviewed several weeks ago. So if you’re naked because you lost your clothes at the club while the DJ was spinning Nelly’s Hot in Herre, this would be your opportunity to no longer be naked.

To enter the 300th review prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with the words “I’m drug free, check my pee” in it and whatever else you would like to say. Don’t worry, you don’t have to mean it.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the gift certificates to the winners.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Wednesday, June 21, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE!!!

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you newsletters from Taiwan in Chinese. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for expired gift certificates, lost gift certificate codes, or the extra facial hair or enlarged forehead caused by the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs.

(Editor’s Note: If you’re interested — or bored — please check out the new review blog I started up called Cereal Mashup.)

For this month’s prize drawing, I’m going to leggo a few Eggos.

Oh wait. For some reason, that doesn’t sound right.

It sounds either perverted or painful.

Anyway, two lucky readers will each win a box of Eggo Cereal, which The Impulsive Buy reviewed last month. Eggo Cereal is great for those who love waffles, but bad for those who hate spoons.

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with the words “Leggo my Eggo” and whatever else you would like to say.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, April 16, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States, US Military APOs, Canada, and Guam. (To the rest of the planet, I’m sorry.)

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam asking if you want to meet later. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about seminars that will improve your business relationships. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or you waking up with The King.

Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up and it’s a great day to get drunk, get pinched, and get caught urinating in public.

However, no one gives gifts for Saint Patrick’s Day. So this month two lucky readers will each receive a Saint Patrick’s Day gift from The Impulsive Buy.

These two lucky readers will each win A BOX of the Extra Cool Watermelon Gum, which I reviewed the other week. It’s enough gum to last for weeks, unless you have a strong oral fixation and you also like to share, then it will only last you a couple of days.

Just like last month, I’ll be having two separate drawings. However, this month, one drawing is for men only and the other drawing is only for the ladies in the hizzouse. So one Barney will win a box and one Betty will win a box.

However, if you happen to be a hermaphrodite, I will enter you in both drawings. But if you are a hermaphrodite, and you win, you MUST show proof in the form of a doctor’s note.

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with THREE THINGS.

1. The words “Hey! Nice watermelons!”
2. Whether you’re a male, female, or a hermaphrodite.
3. Whatever else you would like to say.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, March 19, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States, US Military APOs, Canada, and Guam. (To the rest of the planet, I’m sorry.)

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about “lovely russian bittches in action.” (Yes, that’s how the spammers spelled it.) The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about seminars that will improve your managerial skills. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or Brokeback Mountain not winning Best Picture.

Thank you George Washington and Abraham Lincoln for having your birthdays in the same month. If you didn’t, some of us might not have every third Monday of February off.

I’m sure there are people all over the United States, who at this moment, are celebrating all of your great achievements by going to the mall and participating in the various Presidents’ Day sales going on.

I might celebrate Presidents’ Day by going to CompUSA and purchasing a Seagate 200GB hard drive for $29.99 after rebates.

Anyway, I’d not only like to wish everyone a Happy Presidents’ Day, but I’d also like to announce the winners for this month’s prize drawing for the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash and the Gillette Fusion Power razor.

The winner of the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash is Eryn, who will be smelling like pepper over the next few weeks.

The winner of the Gillette Fusion Power razor is Tiff, who will either shave her legs with it or maybe have the opportunity to shave a yak. (Guess the cartoon reference that’s from and you’ll win nothing.)

Thanks to everyone who participated.

Happy Presidents’ Day!

Aaah, February…

It’s the month after January and before March. It’s my least favorite month, because every February I am reminded of heartbreak and heartache. There’s that one day in February that haunts me EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

For almost everyone else, that one special day in February is a joyous day filled with remembering, honoring, and cherishing. But for me, I am almost always alone on that day. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even recognize that special day anymore.

Sometimes I cry on that day, because I see everyone else enjoying it. Every year, I keep telling myself that next year will be different, because I’ll have a reason to celebrate it. But when the next year comes around, there isn’t any celebrating.

I hate Presidents’ Day!

Because I will never be president of anything…ever!

Anyway, there are two prizes for this month’s prize drawing.

One lucky reader will win a brand new Gillette Fusion Power razor, which I’ll be reviewing really soon, and another lucky reader will win a slightly used bottle of Method Olive Leaf Body Wash, which has been around my naked body.

So I’ll be having two separate drawings. One for the Gillette Fusion Power razor and another one for the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash.

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with THREE THINGS.

1. The words I sing and dance to when I’m in the shower, “I rock the party that rocks the body!”
2. The prize you want to win (either the Gillette Fusion Power or the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash)
3. Whatever else you would like to say.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, February 7, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, February 12, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States, US Military APOs, Canada, and Guam. (To the rest of the planet, I’m sorry.)

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam from some Chinese company that wants to sell you toothbrushes. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about classes that will improve your Microsoft Excel skills. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or a possible eight blade razor.