NEWS: Method’s New Dilutable Cleaner Is Like A Mogwai Because It Multiplies When Water Is Added

9 June 2009

7 Comments

Gizmo was so cute in the movie Gremlins. Those big eyes made me want to pet him and his soft fur made me want to use him as a mop to clean my floors. If I ever get the opportunity to clean my apartment with a mogwai, I might use Method’s new Dilutable [...]

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NEWS: Reynolds Wrap Foil From 100% Recycled Aluminum Makes Hats Used To Avert Mind Reading Aliens Eco-Friendly

23 April 2009

9 Comments

I’m feeling much better about my attempts to thwart aliens from reading my mind, prevent cell phone waves from reaching my brain and to prohibit Martha Stewart from brainwashing me through the picture radio, thanks to the new Reynolds Wrap Foil from 100% Recycled Aluminum. Now I can use an entire roll of it [...]

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NEWS: Ziploc evolve Bags Are Eco-Friendly Until You Throw Them Away

24 March 2009

3 Comments

The new eco-friendly Ziploc evolve sandwich and storage bags are made from a new resin that uses 25% less plastic than their regular bags, are manufactured using approximately 50% renewable wind energy and packaged in a 100% recycled box, with at least 35% postconsumer content. While all of this might be fine and [...]

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Terracycle Natural Bathroom Cleaner

18 August 2008

11 Comments

I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m in my shower I have to be completely naked, because just like I believe a bed is meant for sleeping and sex, a shower is meant for nudity. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, whether it’s showering, cleaning the shower, or butchering the Cyndi Lauper song [...]

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Method Sweet Water Aroma Ring

20 August 2007

12 Comments

Meditation is something I try to do whenever I want to clear my mind, body, and soul. I’ll just sit on the floor with my legs crossed, close my eyes, inhale deeply, hold each breath for a moment, and then slowly exhale. Chanting sutras are optional…and so are clothing. I like to call my [...]

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NEWS: Dawn Dishwashing Detergent Helps With Grease Cutting…And Now Cheese Cutting

5 June 2007

12 Comments

Remember when Palmolive dishwashing soap was advertised to soften hands while you did the dishes? That was pretty much the extent of multitasking dishwashing detergents. All the others were just one trick ponies, because they were only good for washing dishes. However, that has changed a little thanks to the new Dawn Simple Pleasures, [...]

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Ikea Skyar Lamp

13 June 2006

30 Comments

Oh yeah, baby. Now that I’ve got an Ikea Skyar Lamp in my room, it’s now the perfect place for making sweet, sweet love. The glow from the handmade paper lamp sets my mood and my room for love, baby. It’s the perfect lamp for making hot, passionate love, because it looks like an [...]

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Double Zipper Ziploc Storage Bags

16 March 2006

35 Comments

You know what I hate? I hate having to sometimes stuff cocaine-filled condoms up my ass. It’s amazing that I can stick ten of them up there. Although they say the large intestine is about five feet long, so technically I could probably fit a whole lot more. Each one is worth $10,000 [...]

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Hefty Serve ‘n Store

4 November 2005

31 Comments

After seeing how the Hefty Serve ‘n Store interlocking plates and bowls work, I now have a better understanding of how two adolescent teens with braces making out behind the library could easily get stuck together. Unfortunately, the Serve ‘n Store plates and bowls didn’t give me a better understanding of how to separate two adolescent [...]

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Cheap Ass Bath Towels

3 October 2005

35 Comments

One of the great things about bath towels is the fact that they’re multi-taskers. However, most of you may not realize the multitude of things you can do with bath towels. Most of us use them to dry ourselves off after coming out of the shower. However, homeless people use them as blankets, bullies [...]

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