The Impulsive Buy » Juice

NEWS: Capri Sun Super V Will Trick Kids Into Sucking Vegetables Through A Straw

Marvo — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 10:05:39 +0000

Is the new Capri Sun Super V Fruit & Vegetable Juice Drink the latest way for parents to trick their kids into getting some vegetables in their diet?

A juice pouch with a 3/4 serving of fruit and 1/4 serving of vegetables? That doesn’t sound very efficient.

When I have kids and need to encourage them to eat their vegetables, I’m just going to tell them, “Look, son/daughter. It’s carrots and cucumbers. There are worse vegetables your mom and I could’ve given you, like brussels sprouts, beets, turnips, cauliflower, and radishes. We’ll save those for when you’re naughty, but you were good today so you get the good vegetables. However, if you don’t eat your carrots and cucumbers right now, I’m going to drive to the store to buy some beets and radishes, cut them up, and put them on your plate with the carrots and cucumbers. And you’re going to have to eat all of them.”

Man, I’m going to be an awesome parent. Sure, they’ll probably end up in therapy, but at least they’ll be eating their vegetables. Someone should award me with a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug right now.

The Capri Sun Super V juice drinks are 66 percent juice and come in three flavors: Apple, Berry, and Fruit Punch. The vegetables come in the form of sweet potato and carrot juice concentrates. I didn’t know one could juice a sweet potato. Maybe I should’ve paid closer attention to Jack LaLanne’s Juice Tiger informercials, instead of using them to help me fall asleep.

One Capri Sun Super V pouch has 70 calories, 0 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin C, and 10% vitamin E.

Image via flickr user Newtown grafitti / CC BY 2.0

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 5/7/2011

Marvo — Sat, 07 May 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

You know what I could really go for? Green Tea Oreos. Oh wait, I can’t because they’re only available in Japan and I’m too cheap to pay for shipping to order some online. I guess I’m going to have to settle for dipping my regular Oreo cookies into green tea instead of milk. (via Jim’s Chocolate Mission)

Innocent apple and orange juices? Give me two minutes alone with each of them and they won’t be so innocent anymore. (via Foodstuff Finds)

Why aren’t there more lettuce reviews on the internet? You know what? I’m gonna solve this problem myself. I’m gonna start my own lettuce review blog called Let Us Review Lettuce. (via Grand Store Brand Land)

It appears Hubba Bubba’s Mystery Flavor isn’t a hard mystery to figure out. If it was a Nancy Drew mystery, it would be the shortest one ever and it would be called: The Secret of the Neon Colored Chewing Gum. (via Gum Alert)

Seriously, Trader Joe’s? You couldn’t call it Bunny Gummy Tummies & Chummies. Well, now you can. You’re welcome. Oh yeah, I’m a rhyming master…except when it comes to the word orange. (via Sugar Pressure)

Image via flickr user MShades / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Pineapple Mango Green Tea V8 V-Fusion + Tea

Marvo — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 02:46:10 +0000

The Mango Pineapple Green Tea V8 V-Fusion + Tea combines pineapple, apple and orange fruit juices, mango puree, vegetable juice and green tea.

What? Are those the only liquids V8 could fit into this beverage hybrid?

That’s disappointing to see from the company that’s able to merge the juices from tomatoes and seven other vegetables that I didn’t know could be juiced — beets, celery, carrots, lettuce, parsley, watercress and spinach — to create their original V8 juice.

We live in a world where it’s possible to stuff a chicken into a duck and then stuff those two into a turkey, so, I’m sorry, color me initially unimpressed when it comes to the Mango Pineapple Green Tea V8 V-Fusion + Tea.

V8 could definitely learn a thing or two from witches or those college kids who mix every cheap clear alcohol possible with several fruit juices to make a potent jungle juice that will probably cause several people to end up with Sharpie pen writings on their faces, produce a few gallons of vomit, and result in one, maybe two, pregnancies.

The V8 V-Fusion + Tea is the latest variation from V8′s V-Fusion line, which combines 100 percent fruit and vegetable juices to give people the opportunity to consume 1/2 cup of vegetables and 1/2 cup of fruit in a state of matter that’s usually suited for babies and those who just had their wisdom teeth removed.

The USDA recommends a daily intake of 2 1/2 cups of vegetables and 2 cups of fruit, and the V8 V-Fusion + Tea line does help drinkers get there, but only 1/4 of a cup at a time since it’s made with only 50 percent juice.

However, because it’s made with only 50 percent juice, it has significantly less sugar and calories than the original V-Fusion line and its consistency isn’t as thick.

The Mango Pineapple Green Tea V8 V-Fusion + Tea has more of a mango flavor than pineapple, and it has a sweet vegetable aftertaste. “Sweet vegetable aftertaste” may sound bad, especially as a potential band name, but with this beverage, it’s all right. While the green tea doesn’t provide much flavor, it does make the beverage lighter tasting than the regular V8 V-Fusion.

While I feel the Mango Pineapple Green Tea V8 V-Fusion + Tea is a weak ass compilation of liquids, I do think it’s a tasty and refreshing beverage.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 200 milligrams of potassium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 2% calcium, 10% vitamin E, 100% vitamin C and 2% iron.)

Item: Pineapple Mango Green Tea V8 V-Fusion + Tea
Price: $5.69 (regular price)
Size: 46 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty and refreshing. Strong mango flavor. Turducken. Provides 100% vitamin C per serving. Easy to drink. Less sugar and calories than regular V8 V-Fusion. Jungle juice.
Cons: Weak ass compilation of liquids. Made up of 50 percent juice. Light green tea flavor. Provides 1/10th of your daily recommended intake of vegetables. Sweet Vegetable Aftertaste would make a horrible band name. Jungle juice.

NEWS: V8 Makes A Threesome Involving Fruits and Vegetables Non-Erotic

Marvo — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 23:00:00 +0000

A couple of years ago, V8 created their V-Fusion line that combined vegetable juice with fruit juices to help people consume more vegetables and fruits and to help expand the product line beyond a salted vegetable juice, which I usually see used as a replacement for tomato juice in a Bloody Mary.

It seems combining fruit and vegetable juices wasn’t enough for V8, because they decided to add a third partner — green tea. An 8-ounce serving of the new V8 V-Fusion + Tea provides provides 1/4 cup of vegetables, 1/4 cup of fruits and the antioxidant power of green tea. Although I’m not sure how much antioxidant power the green tea provides.

V8 V-Fusion + Tea comes in three flavors: Raspberry Green Tea, Pineapple Mango Green Tea and Pomegranate Green Tea. All three come in 46-ounce bottles and contain 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 100% vitamin C per 8 ounce serving.

REVIEW: Purple

Marvo — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:36:26 +0000

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Purple cowboy. Where’s the free radical fire? Trying to shove down our throats seven antioxidant-filled fruits at one time is not cool. Most of us haven’t even gotten used to acai and the fact that the C is pronounced as an S. Even though I can stick ten grapes in my mouth and deep throat a banana (it’s all about loosening the jaw and throat), trying to take the giant step of putting a liquid fruit salad that contains seven high antioxidant fruits down my gullet seems a little like fruit waterboarding.

The seven fruits in Purple include: acai, black cherry, pomegranate, black currant, purple plum, cranberry, and blueberry. Combined they form a beverage in a color that can only usually be seen in The Artist Formerly Known As Prince’s head whenever he decides to change his name. Speaking of names, I think the name Purple is appropriate for this beverage because if the color purple had a flavor, I’m pretty sure that it would taste like this high antioxidant drink. I could test my theory, but unfortunately I do not have a box of Crayola crayons around which I could melt and drink.

Because Purple is made up of a large orgy of fruits, I really couldn’t taste individual fruits but it did taste healthy. It’s 100% natural, contains no added sugars, and provides one serving of fruits. Overall, the beverage was quite tart and a little sweet. Its initial taste will probably make you grimace a little, but you get used to the drink after a few more sips.

On the bottle, Purple claims to be “The Most Powerful Antioxidant Beverage on the Planet.” That bold claim is probably just marketing bullshit, but it’s something I can’t prove or disprove, since I don’t have access to bunsen burners, lab coats, protective goggles, a properly vented laboratory, and a memory of what I learned in my college science courses. The only things I can prove with science are my ability to stick ten grapes in my mouth and my ability to deep throat a banana.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 112 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 28 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 0% Vitamin A, 100% Vitamin C, 0% Calcium, and 1% Iron.)

Item: Purple
Price: $2.99
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Has an orgy of fruits. 100% Vitamin C. Claims to be high in antioxidants. 100% natural. A bottle provides at least one serving of fruits. No added sugars.
Cons: Tastes like what I imagine the color purple tastes like. Pricey for just 10 ounces. Initial taste will make you grimace and may take some getting used to.

Ocean Spray Raspberry Cranberry Lift Cranergy

Marvo — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:14:02 +0000

The Ocean Spray Raspberry Cranberry Lift Cranergy is causing some internal conflict because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do after drinking it. It technically is an energy drink, but its bottle doesn’t look like one, so I’m not sure when I’m heading out of my second story apartment if I should take the extreme route, which includes smashing a window with a chair, making a running leap through the blown out window, tucking and rolling several times when I hit the ground, and then popping up into a Mr. Olympia pose, or if I should take the calm route, which involves using the stairs.

Not only does the Raspberry Cranberry Lift Cranergy not look extreme on the outside, it also isn’t very extreme inside the bottle. There aren’t any really extreme ingredients, like taurine, guarana, and licks Slash’s guitar. It’s made up of cranberry, raspberry, and grape juices, which extreme people love…I mean, extremely old people love. Green tea extract and B-Vitamins provide the Cranergy’s “natural energy.” Each of the B-Vitamins supplies 70 percent of the daily recommended amount, but I don’t know how much the green tea extract provides. Green tea is usually added to products because of its natural caffeine content, but nowhere on the packaging could I find the amount of caffeine it delivers, which makes this beverage even less extreme.

Like most energy drinks, the Cranergy had a bite to it, but it was more of a tart bite than a bitter bite, which shouldn’t be surprising because as everyone with urinary tract infections know, cranberry juice is quite tart. There’s also a slight bitterness that probably came from the green tea. I enjoyed the Raspberry Cranberry Lift Cranergy because it tasted pretty much like other Ocean Spray cranberry beverages, so it will probably mix well with vodka. It didn’t give me a lift of energy, but then again, I drink big honkin’ extreme energy drinks with 100 plus milligrams of caffeine on a regular basis, so the Cranergy is like a tender stroking of my arm, while a real extreme energy drink is like an indian rope burn.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces – 50 calories, 0 g of fat, 75 mg of sodium, 13 g of carbohydrates, 13 g of sugar, 0 g of protein, 100% vitamin C, 70% niacin, 70% vitamin B12, 70% vitamin B2, 70% vitamin B6, 70% pantothenic acid, and 0 g of extreme)

(Editor’s Note: The Energy Guru reviewed another flavor of Cranergy. As someone who probably downs energy drink for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, he probably thought these were weak energy-wise as well.)

Item: Ocean Spray Raspberry Cranberry Lift Cranergy
Price: $5.39
Size: 4 pack – 12 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like other Ocean Spray cranberry drinks. 50% fewer calories and less sugar than most energy drinks. 100% Vitamin C. Provides a decent amount of B-Vitamins. Will probably mix well with vodka.
Cons: Not extreme at all. There’s green tea, but no caffeine. Contains only 20% fruit juice. Small bottle. Tart bite. Won’t provide energy for those who are regular energy drink consumers.

Ito En Veggie Shot

Marvo — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 10:00:54 +0000

Somewhere in the heavens, Jack LaLanne is laughing at us and yelling “I told you so, motherfuckers! I told you juicing is a great way for you to get your vegetables, bitches!” It turns out that the old man was right and if I had a time machine, I would go back in time to purchase a Jack LaLanne Juice Tiger in three easy installments of $29.95 plus shipping and handling and receive a set of Ginsu Knives absolutely free if I order it within the next 20 minutes.

Oh wait. I’ve just been told that Jack LaLanne is still alive thanks to juicing and that he will probably live longer than I will and when I’m dead, he will dance on my grave.

I may not have a Juice Tiger, but I probably have the second best thing — the Ito En Veggie Shot. Developed in the same country that gave us one billion episodes of Dragonball and game shows that are one billion times more entertaining than American ones, the Japanese drink shoehorns TWENTY vegetables and three fruits into one beverage, which bests the eight vegetables in a V8 Vegetable Drink and the seven to ten vegetables MTV sticks into each Real World house.

The clusterfuck of veggies and fruits in the Ito En Veggie Shot include: apples, lemons, white grapes, carrots, spinach, sweet potato, red bell peppers, green beans, celery, lettuce, broccoli, kale, pumpkin, green bell peppers, asparagus, napa cabbage, komatsuna, ashitaba, parsley, watercress, cabbage, radish, and Japanese honewort. It doesn’t specifically say on the bottle, but I’m pretty sure an 8-ounce cup of this blended farmer’s market provides a serving of vegetables.

With two and half times more vegetables than a V8 Vegetable Juice, I was expecting the Ito En Veggie Shot to taste like a rabbit’s wet dream, but it has a surprisingly fruity flavor, like the V8 Fusion drinks, thanks to the three fruits also included with the veggies. When the beverage first hit my tongue, it tasted like apple juice and after that it was more of a sweet vegetable taste, slightly similar to the Odwalla Superfood green sludge.

With twenty vegetables, you might think that the Ito En Veggie Shot is healthier and provides more vitamins than a V8 Vegetable Juice, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. The Japanese drink has less sodium than a regular V8, but the V8 has less calories, more potassium, less carbs, less sugar, more fiber, more protein, more vitamins, and mixes well with vodka in a Bloody Mary. However, even the V8′s healthiness isn’t enough for me to choose it over the Ito En Veggie Shot’s taste.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 400 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 20% Vitamin A, 2% Calcium, and 100 milligrams of Japanese ingenuity.)

Item: Ito En Veggie Shot
Price: $2.99
Size: 30.4 ounces
Purchased at: Nijiya Market
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Surprisingly good. Contains 100% juice and twenty different vegetables and three fruits. Better tasting than V8 because it has a fruity flavor. Easy to drink. It initially tastes like apple juice. No added sugar or salt. Jack LaLanne is still alive. Japanese game shows. Getting Ginsu Knives for free.
Cons: Not as healthy and full of vitamins as V8. Not sure if some of the vegetables make a difference, like parsley. Might be hard to find if you don’t have a Asian grocer near you. Jack LaLanne will live longer than me. The billions of Dragonball episodes.

Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy

Marvo — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 23:18:53 +0000

I know what you’re thinking to yourself. Who is this Lizzy? Why is she fizzy? And why can’t Lizzy take some Tums to stop making her fizzy? I could search the internet through Google, Wikipedia, or the Fizzy Lizzy website, but that would make me dizzy. However, by looking at the image on the label that probably wasn’t even modeled after Lizzy, I can figure out many things about her.

First off, Lizzy looks like she enjoys dressing like she’s from the 1920s in long sleeves and a long skirt, although that plunging neckline makes it a little more contemporary. Maybe she wears long sleeves and a long skirt because she’s “all-natural,” just like her Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy drink, which just consists of 37 percent triple-filtered carbonated water and 63 percent pineapple juice concentrate.

The next thing I noticed about Lizzy from the graphics on the bottle is that she either has a tree branch for a tail or likes to fart plants. This is good because it shows that she cares about the environment and loves nature, which she should since 100 percent of her Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy comes from nature.

(Editor’s Note: I’m pretty sure this is definitely the first AND last time Fizzy Lizzy will ever send me a product to review. Actually, I’m surprised companies keep sending us stuff.)

Another item I noticed about Lizzy from looking at the artwork on the label is that she not only loves 1920s fashion, but she also loves the original Charlie’s Angels, especially Kate Jackson, because she’s totally rocking the sexy Sabrina Duncan hairstyle. Finally, I noticed Lizzy demands perfection. I can tell this by the way she has her hands on her hips like a stern mother or a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix. This perfection also shows in the quality of the Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy.

When I opened up the bottle, it smelled like canned pineapple juice, but its taste was not as overwhelming as pineapple juice. It was very easy to drink because it wasn’t carbonated as I thought it would be. I enjoyed it very much and it is probably the best and tastiest way to get 100% of your Vitamin C in a fizzy pineapple juice form, although before drinking it I had to do a little dance with it to mix the juice which had settled to the bottom, which bothered me because I’m nobody’s monkey, despite how hairy I am.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces – 90 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% Vitamin C, and 1 rhyming name.)

Item: Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy
Price: FREE (Retails for $1.49 – $1.99)
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Given by Fizzy Lizzy…probably for the last time.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty and easy to drink. Sweet, but not too sweet. Pineapple wasn’t overwhelming. Low fat. Low calorie. No added sugars. The best and tastiest way to get 100% of your Vitamin C in a fizzy pineapple juice form. Name rhymes (I’m a sucker for rhymes). Sabrina Duncan.
Cons: Having to shake its hips before placing it on my lips. Twist top was difficult to take off or I’m a total wuss. Not easily available. Pineapple may not be a fruit people are willing to drink without the colada. My poor characterization of Lizzy through the artwork on the bottle.

POM Wonderful Mango Pomegranate

Marvo — Mon, 13 Sep 2004 10:00:01 +0000

I’m a sucker for things that are shaped like hourglasses, like board game timers and Victorian women with very tight corsets. It was this attraction that made me notice the hourglass-shaped bottle of POM Wonderful Pomegranate in one of the refrigerated cases at the national grocery store chain I shop at.

There were only two flavors in stock, mango and cherry (They also come in tangerine, blueberry, and, of course, pomegranate). I decided to pick the mango, because I love mango and it’s considered to be an aphrodisiac. However, I don’t know about that aphrodisiac part, because every time I’ve eaten mango, I’ve been alone…so alone. (tear)

The thing most noticeable about the POM, besides the hourglass-shaped bottle, was the fact it may have been labeled mango-flavored, but it surely wasn’t mango-colored. Instead it was a dark, cola-like color. For a moment I thought to myself, “The only time mangoes look dark like that is when they’re rotting.”

Then I thought, “Sure it’s not mango-colored, but I’m positive it’s got to taste like mango. What company in their right mind would produce a product labeled mango-flavored and it not be mango-flavored?”

(One 16 oz. POM Wonderful Mango Pomegranate bottle later)

Apparently I have found what could possibly be the ONLY mango product on the face of the Earth that isn’t mango-colored and doesn’t taste like mango. Instead it has this tart cranberry-type of flavor to it, which is probably the pomegranate overpowering the mango.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “What’s pomegranate?” Well sit back boys and girls, here’s your health food lesson for the day.

Pomegranate is a red fruit and its juice is considered to be one of the healthiest around. It’s a wonderful source of potassium, vitamin C, polyphenols, flavonoids, antioxidants, and a bunch of other healthy things with long names. A glass of it has more antioxidants than a glass of red wine. Of course the real big difference between the two is when you drink large amounts of pomegranate all you get is a big dose of antioxidants, and when you drink large amounts of red wine you may end up with a hangover, unwanted pregnancy, photocopies of your buttocks at work, or all three.

Sounds healthy? Yes it is, but so is the price.

At $4 a bottle, it will be very hard to drink it daily like the Beanie Babies-type tag around the neck of the POM bottle suggests. I think it’s probably cheaper to get a health club membership, which will probably do you more good and get you that hourglass figure you’ve always wanted.

Item: POM Wonderful Mango Pomegranate
Purchase Price: $3.99
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Very healthy. Attractive bottle.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like mango. Very pricey.