Over the past nine months, The Impulsive Buy has reviewed a couple of products from the company Method because ever since reading an article about the company in the magazine Business 2.0, I’ve gone gaga over the company, like they were…

a. Opening day movie tickets for Star Wars Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith.

c. Pictures of accidental celebrity nipple slips.

This time I decided to review the Method Bathroom Cleaner, which I have been using for the past few months. I like using Method products because they are biodegradable and non-toxic, which means…

a. I don’t have to wear rubber gloves when using it.

c. It may come in handy when I’m really drunk and run out of Listerine to drink.

It’s an all-purpose cleaner so I’ve been using it to clean almost everything in my bathroom, like the shower, shower curtain, sink, countertop, and water fixtures. It cleans just as well as most bathroom cleaners out in the market, but when I’m done cleaning with the Method Bathroom Cleaner, my bathroom has a nice, fresh cucumber scent.

The cucumber scent was refreshing because most bathroom cleaners come in either citrus or chemical scent. Unfortunately, the Method Bathroom Cleaner only comes in the cucumber scent. However, this might be good for those of you who dislike cucumber because…

a. You believe zucchinis are much better and more fun than cucumbers.

c. You had a horrific accident involving a banana peel, a cucumber patch, and a particular orifice.

Despite the nice cucumber scent, the mist of the Method Bathroom Cleaner…

a. Caused me to sneeze.

c. Irritated my throat as badly as it gets after a night of butchering every song I sang at karaoke.

Of course, on the packaging it says I should use the product in well-ventilated areas, but unfortunately my bathroom doesn’t have windows, just a crappy-ass fan. But then again when I was spraying it around, I was very liberal with it, like…

a. The amount of ketchup on my French Fries.

c. The amount of facial tissues I use when I cry like a baby at weddings.

So far, out of the three Method products The Impulsive Buy has reviewed, I have to say that this was the least impressive of the bunch because…

a. The bottle wasn’t shaped as cool as the other Method products.

c. I’m bitter that another friend got married and I’m so alone…So alone…ALONE!!!

Item: Method Bathroom Surface Cleaner
Purchase Price: $4.00 (Purchased by Akiko and given to me as a gift)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Better smelling than most of the cleaning products I’ve used in the past. Non-toxic. Biodegradable.
Cons: Only comes in cucumber scent. Mist irritated my throat. My sensitive side that cries at weddings. Britney Spears reference.

I love living on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, but living here has its share of disadvantages.

For example, I can’t take long road trips here. On the mainland, you can drive to another state or another country and see something different. For example, if you live in California, you can drive to Las Vegas to go gambling at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m. or drive to Mexico to get drunk off of cheap tequila and experience Montezuma’s Revenge because you were so drunk that you actually drank water from Mexico.

Here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you can’t drive very far, unless you enjoy going around and around in huge circles.

Another disadvantage is getting sand trapped in places you don’t want sand to be. I’m pretty sure this is not a problem for people in such states as Montana, Oklahoma, and either of the Dakotas. Chafing that involves sand is never good, except when you’re planning to repaint something.

Finally, there aren’t any Red Circle Boutiques here. We’ve got three World Dominating Superstore Behemoths and two “The ‘K’ Stands For Krap” Superstores, but no Red Circle Boutiques.

Unfortunately, I’m not expecting one to open up soon because I think it’s impossible to build a Red Circle Boutique here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, because if someone does, this rock will sink like Atlantis.

The reason why I’d like to have a Red Circle Boutique on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is because I’d have easy access to Method cleaning products. There aren’t any places here that sell them. Sure, I could buy them online, but I’m too much of a cheap bastard to pay for shipping.

Fortunately, friend/Impulsive Buy junkie Akiko bought some Method products for me while on a trip to the Dirty South (Do the kids still call it the “Dirty South?”). Actually, she only bought me the Method hand soap, which I reviewed a few months back.

(Editor’s Note: Oops, actually, Akiko also bought me Method dishwashing detergent and bathroom cleaner. I forgot about them in the closet. You know what they say, “Out of sight, out of mind.” I suck as a friend.)

Recently, Akiko gave me her slightly used bottle of Method Laundry Concentrated Detergent. She gave it to me because she didn’t care much for the overwhelming Morning Bloom scent. Although, I have my suspicions that she gave me the bottle because she wanted to drop the hint that I need to wash my clothes more often instead of recycling my worn clothes out of my laundry basket.

Hey, I just follow the two rules of recycling worn clothes:

1. If it doesn’t have stains, out of the washer it remains.
2. If worn clothes has no smell, no one else will be able to tell.

One of the first things I liked about the Method detergent was the fact it’s concentrated. With only 32 ounces of detergent, it’s much lighter than the smallest container offered by other liquid detergent brands, which usually contain about 100 ounces. This makes a big difference because I’m out of shape, or more specifically, I’m weak, like Popeye without spinach and Screech from Saved by the Bell.

Since it’s concentrated, the Method detergent can still deliver the same amount of laundry loads as the other brands’ 100-ounce containers, which turns out to be about 32 loads of laundry.

One of the neatest things about the bottle is that it has a self-measuring cap. Just flip the cap lid, squeeze the bottle, measure the amount of detergent, and then pour. (To see a clip of the self-measuring cap in action, just click the picture on the right. Quicktime format – 1 MB)

I tried to test its stain fighting power, but nowadays I hardly stain my clothes, since I don’t referee bikini mud wrestling anymore.

As for the Morning Bloom scent, I didn’t find it overwhelming, like Akiko did. I thought it was a pleasant smell and smelled better than the big-name brand stuff I usually use, but it definitely didn’t smell morning-ish. Of course, my mornings usually smell like “Oh crap, I have to get up.”

Overall, I liked the Method detergent, especially the self-measuring cap. Maybe I’ll start washing my clothes more often, just so that I can play with the self-measuring cap.

Item: Method Laundry Concentrated Detergent
Purchase Price: $8.00
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Kick ass self-measuring cap. Concentrated. Nice scent. Biodegradable.
Cons: Scent maybe overwhelming for some. No Red Circle Boutiques on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Lame road trips. Sand in my crack.

Do you know a relative, friend, co-worker, or mistress who’s a little too obsessive compulsive? Sure, we all know one.

They wash their hands over 30 times a day; have a Costco-sized bottle of waterless hand sanitizer on their desk; opens public restroom doors with a paper towel; puts enough layers of sanitary covers on a toilet seat that it provides a slight cushion; or uses Lysol on EVERYTHING.

Well if you have yet to get that person a Christmas gift, what better gift to give them than the gift of cleanliness.

Might I suggest the Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash.

Editor’s Note, Part Two: Um…For you smokers of the ganja, there is no correlation between the name Method and the fact that the color of this hand wash is green. Method products come in a wide range of colors.

I’ve been a really big fan of Method products for a while, although to be honest I’ve never used any of their products until now.

The reason why I didn’t try any was because I couldn’t get my dirty hands on Method products here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean (We so desperately need a Target). However, Impulsive Buy groupie Akiko gave me some.

Editor’s Note, Part Three: Um…When I say, “she gave me some,” I meant she gave me a bottle of Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash. Just thought I’d clear that up, since she is an Impulsive Buy groupie.

I think I became a fan of Method products after reading an article about them in one of the Business 2.0 issues I stole from my doctor’s office.

I’m a fan because their products come in nice curvy bottles and I’m sucker for things that have curves, like Catherine Zeta Jones and the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Another reason is because their products are biodegradable, non-toxic, naturally derived, and aren’t tested on animals, which satisfies my tree-hugging side. Finally, I like the company because its name starts with the letter “M.”

As for the Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash, besides being green in color and environmentally-friendly, it smells really good.

So what does green tea combined with aloe smell like? It smells clean. It’s not fruity, flowery, or girly. It just smells clean.

Just the way obsessive-compulsive people like to smell.

If you think about it, our obsessive-compulsive friends maybe on to something with all of this cleanliness. Think about all the things that get touched a lot on a daily basis by people. You don’t know what kind of people they are or where these people have been.

Imagine all the germs on these things, like doorknobs, money, elevator buttons, handrails, and Paris Hilton.

Item: Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash
Purchase Price: FREE (retail price $4.00)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Clean scent. Environmentally friendly. Nice curvy bottle. Oh yeah, let me feel those curves on that bottle. Oh yeah, let me feel those curves on the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Teehehehehe.
Cons: Kind of pricey for hand soap. Can’t get it here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.