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VIDEO REVIEW: Dial for Men Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel Active Sport

Written by | April 15, 2012

Topics: Body Wash, Dial For Men

Oooh! New body cleaning technology!

Length: 2:40

Item: Dial for Men Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel Active Sport
Price: $3.99 (with $1 off coupon)
Size: 6.8 ounces
Purchased at: Target

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NEWS: Dial For Men Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel Has A Long Name For A Body Wash

Written by | March 15, 2012

Topics: Body Wash, Dial For Men

Dial For Men Speed Foam Body WashUpdate: Click here to watch our Dial for Men Speed Foam video review

Dial for Men’s Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel has been available for a couple of weeks, but I didn’t notice it until I saw a coupon for it in the Sunday newspaper.

Ever since I learned about it, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the idea of a foaming gel. So does it work like Edge Shaving Gel, which starts expanding and turning into foam once it’s dispensed?

According to its bottle, it proudly boasts, “No shower pouf needed.” So I guess with Speed Foam, I don’t need any kind of shower pouf or wash cloth to create foam and to clean my body. Instead, I just use my hands.

But without the pouf, how am I going to exfoliate my skin? Also, if I’m using only my hands, how am I going to wash that one spot on my back I can’t quite reach? What about my butt crack? That means I have to wash my butt crack with only my hands. I don’t feel comfortable with that.

With Speed Foam, Dial claims men will reach the ultimate clean faster and easier than ever.

Dial Speed Foam is able to dispense enough foaming gel for 40 washes and comes in three scents: Active Sport, Arctic Refresh, and Ultra Clean. It’s available nationwide for a suggested retail price of $5.99.

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REVIEW: Bath & Body Works Signature Collection for Men Body Wash (Noir, Citron and Ocean)

Written by | July 13, 2010

Topics: 6 Rating, 7 Rating, Bath & Body Works, Body Wash

Bath & Body Works Signature Collection Body Wash for Men (Noir, Citron and Ocean)

When it comes to ogling young female customers and employees, getting close enough to smell them or maybe accidentally bumping into them at a shopping mall, Bath & Body Works is the third best store to do so. It’s right behind Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21.

Although it lacks lingerie, which the other two have, what places Bath & Body Works in the top three is the fact they’re the only one of the three that has a men’s section, which unlike the other two, gives men a good reason to enter the store. But it’s extremely small and I believe it’s only there to lure men into using the product testers so that the women in the store can use their sense of smell to detect if a possible pervert is nearby attempting to smell or bump into them.

Recently, Bath & Body Works added a line of signature collection men’s products, which include colognes, body sprays and body washes. The line consists of four scents: Noir, Citron, Ocean and Oak. Because the female Bath & Body Works employee I was ogling said she liked the Noir, Citron and Ocean scents the most, those were the ones I purchased in body wash form.

The same employee was also my cashier and I have to say it was fastest anyone has ever rang me up. There was no asking me if I need lip balm or if I want to sign up for their mailing list. I guess I should ogle the cashier whenever I buy stuff from Best Buy, so they won’t offer me their product protection plan.

The body wash’s bottle is the same 10-ounce one the women’s body wash come in, except instead of a pretty chrome cap, it comes with a manly black cap screwed on top. Thanks to the sodium lauryl sulfate, the body washes lather up really nice. Each body wash also contains aloe vera and nourishing oils, so if you hate feeling like your body isn’t completely rinsed off, I’d suggest not wasting your money on these men’s Bath & Body Works body washes just so that you can ogle and flirt with a Bath & Body Works employee.

Their fragrances aren’t nearly as strong as those from Axe, but they also don’t make me smell like a 15-year-old boy. Their scent lingered on my body for around 45 minutes after stepping out of the shower. On the Bath & Body Works website they list the key fragrance notes I should be smelling with each variation. Citron has crisp bergamot, sage, lemon zest, brisk woods, tonka bean and sandalwood; Ocean has bergamot, cypress, nutmeg, patchouli, cedarwood and vetiver; and Noir has sage, coriander, cardamom, white vanilla, vetiver and amber musk.

Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t know what half of that stuff is, so let me break it down using words I don’t have to look up on Wikipedia.

Citron has a light, citrus fragrance with a little bit of spice. It’s a crisp, pleasant scent and probably my favorite of the three. Ocean has a sweet, slightly fruity odor and I think it’s more of a unisex scent than a manly one. Noir is the most manly smelling of the bunch. It’s a bold, musky scent I imagine James Bond would wear. It’s also bold enough to be the best scent to help female Bath & Body Works shoppers sense when a perv is trying to get close to them.

Item: Bath & Body Works Signature Collection for Men Body Wash (Noir, Citron and Ocean)
Price: $10.50 each
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Bath & Body Works (Mall of America)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Noir)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Citron)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Ocean)
Pros: Pleasant, non-overpowering scents. Lathers nicely. Not tested on animals. Doesn’t make me smell like a 15-year-old boy like Axe does. Scent lingers on body for about 45 minutes after stepping out of the shower. Not getting asked by the cashier to sign up for mailing lists or if I’m interested in buying additional products.
Cons: Almost twice the price as regular men’s body washes. Noir’s scent can help Bath & Body Works shoppers know when a perv is getting close. Oils in the body wash makes it feel like you haven’t completely rinsed everything off. Getting kicked out of Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21. Not knowing what bergamot, brisk woods, tonka bean, cypress, patchouli, vetiver and amber musk is.

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REVIEW: Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash

Written by | February 4, 2010

Topics: 6 Rating, Body Wash, Dove

Dear James Cameron,

I’ve never seen your billion dollar blockbuster Titanic. You can blame Celine Dion for that. But I recently paid over fifteen dollars to watch your latest billion dollar blockbuster Avatar in 3D, so it seems you finally got your money from me that you should’ve gotten with Titanic. Even though I gave up the possibility of eating three Subway footlong sandwiches to watch your movie, I would like to thank you for creating Avatar.

I’m not thanking you because I think Avatar is the greatest movie ever, nor am I thanking you for giving me a strong geek hard-on that I haven’t had since my lightsaber rose with excitement before seeing The Phantom Menace. I’m thanking you because I can now use your movie to help me describe the new Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash.

If Avatar didn’t exist, I would’ve used the Smurfs or the Blue Man Group.

Now you might be thinking about how I can connect your movie with the Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash. Let me teach you, white-haired one, like how you taught me that I should pee before seeing any three-hour long movie.

The Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash comes in blue color that looks like it could be a Na’vi body fluid. I’m not sure which one, but I guess we may find out in the extra scenes of the Avatar DVD or if the porn industry ever makes an erotic parody of your movie, which will probably either be called Assatar or Analtar. Whichever comes out first, I just hope it’s in high-definition 3D.

The body wash didn’t have a strong scent and it dissipated quickly after I finished my shower, but it’s a pleasant scent that I thought was kind of woodsy. Actually, if you created a way for the audience to smell a movie during your crazy attempt the recreate how films are made, I might be able to say it smells like the Na’vi Hometree. But you didn’t, you underachiever.

Much like how I was stunned by how hot Sigorney Weaver’s avatar looked, I was surprised the product is a combination of body and face wash. Usually, I’ve seen products that combine a body wash with a shampoo, which is probably something more useful to you since you’ve got that mop on your head. I’m not sure what makes it so special that it can also be labeled a face wash. It could be the “micromoisture” technology, but technically any soap can be a face wash.

If you decide that you want to wash yourself with a body wash that looks like a Na’vi body fluid, the Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash is probably your best choice. It smells good, rinses off easily and you might be able to use it as a prop in the Avatar sequel.

Thanks again for making Avatar!

Sincerely,

Marvo

Item: Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash
Price: $4.49
Size: 13.5 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant woodsy scent. Not a strong scent, so you don’t reek of Na’vi body fluid. Rinses off easily. It’s a combination body and face wash. Sigorney Weaver’s avatar.
Cons: Looks like a Na’vi body fluid. Slightly pricey. Scent doesn’t last very long. Having to hold in your pee until the end of the movie. The eventual porn parody of Avatar. Celine Dion.

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REVIEW: Olay Body Hydrate Botanical Fusion Body Wash

Written by | June 8, 2009

Topics: 6 Rating, Body Wash, Personal

It is hard to believe that in two months it will be the 40th anniversary of that mud-covered, bong water-flavored, musical love-fest known as Woodstock. Even though I wasn’t actually there since I was born eighteen years after the harmonious event, I’m pretty sure I know what it was like to be in the crowd and which aromas would tickle my nostrils due the LSD induced hyper-sensory experience.

In the midst of animal and human fecal matter, ganja brownies and food cooked over flaming piles of hemp t-shirts, the fragrance of patchouli oil is able to stick out as one of the very few aromas that delights, but doesn’t give you the munchies so bad that you are willing to try the vegetarian goulash of a slightly hairy woman who was just born again as Starlight Moonshadow.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of smelling patchouli oil, I guess I can describe it as the scent from your sexually ambiguous art teacher who wore long flowing skirts and jewelry made by Incas sold at that random store in the mall that always opens up and mysteriously closes after two months. I guess there isn’t a desperate need for replica Urhobo masks.

The Olay Body Hydrate Botanical Fusion Body Wash has a slight scent of patchouli, which is perfect for me, because I don’t like body washes that are overpowering since I use lotion and perfume. However, it wouldn’t be strong enough to get a hippie clean. The body wash lathers up pretty well using a medium-sized bath pouf, but I did notice that I had to put a larger amount than other body washes that I frequently use from Bath and Body Works or even Irish Spring (who says it’s only for men?).

Maybe this is a plot made by Olay for women to purchase more of their products (doesn’t every beauty company do this?), but I don’t think it’s working since I did buy this on sale at CVS. Although, I believe it was on sale because of a bottle design change, which is a little upsetting to me because the bottle design is what caught my attention in the first place. Also, it’s probably not “new” anymore.

Olay did hold up their hydrate promise, because my skin did feel like buttah before I even moisturized; the soy oil probably helped this. The Olay Body Hydrate Botanical Fusion Body Wash is a good product, but it is pretty boring compared to the thousands of other body washes currently on the market.

Item: Olay Body Hydrate Botanical Fusion Body Wash
Price: $3.79 (on sale)
Size: 15.2 fl oz
Purchased at: CVS
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Moisturizes the skin. Light scent of patchouli won’t make you smell like a hippie. Ganja brownies. Woodstock ’69. Purchased on sale. Skin like buttah.
Cons: Need to use more on bath pouf than other body washes. Scent might be too light for some. Hallucinating from ganja brownies. Woodstock ’99. Silky body wash could make you slip in the shower.

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