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NEWS: Kleenex Advances Facial Tissue Technology With Their Cool Touch Tissues

Written by | September 14, 2011

Topics: Kleenex

Whenever I need to wipe my nose, I use my sleeve or, if I’m topless or wearing just a vest, the sleeve of the person nearest to me.

So I don’t think I’m the targeted consumer for Kleenex’s new Cool Touch Tissues, which have coconut oil, aloe extract, and stuff found in anti-aging creams to soothe sore, dry noses.

Also, I don’t think I’m willing to pay a roughly 65 percent premium over regular Kleenex tissues for the Kleenex Cool Touch Tissues. Although, I have to admit, even if I did use Kleenex, I’d probably just steal wads of it whenever I’m at a friend’s house or in the lavatory of an airplane.

It’s just like when I steal wads of napkins from the self-serve napkin dispensers at Costco and certain fast food restaurants. I haven’t bought paper napkins in years.

According to Kleenex, when a Cool Touch tissue comes in contact with a person’s skin, body heat activates the formula of cooling moisturizers and aloe to release a cool sensation.

Kleenex Cool Touch tissues are available now and have a suggested retail price of $2.19 for a box of 50.

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REVIEW: Kleenex Hand Towels

Written by | October 25, 2010

Topics: 7 Rating, Kleenex

Kleenex Hand Towels

A hand towel in the bathroom at a big house dinner party gives me an idea of what it would be like to participate in a gangbang. You’re sticking a body part in something that’s wet and has been used by many other people during the past two hours.

While I’m willing to break the five-second rule when it comes to food that I’ve dropped onto the floor and I may let the party host’s dog make out with me instead of using a napkin, I won’t use a hand towel at a party. I don’t mean to go all Dateline NBC on you, but a hand towel at a party is also a party…for germs.

Usually, if I need to dry my hands, I’ll either walk through the house like a doctor prepped for surgery to get a napkin or paper towel or I’ll shake my hands vigorously as if I’m a puppeteer making his puppets dance to death metal.

However, when the next dinner party rolls around, I may just bring a box of Kleenex Hand Towels with me.

If you’ve ever been sick or you’re a male who has masturbated, you’re probably very familiar with the Kleenex brand. But, you might not know they make more than that, unless you have the Kleenex website in your web browser’s bookmarks to keep up to date with the latest in booger trapping technology.

The Kleenex Hand Towels are individual paper towels that come out of a box and work the same as all Kleenex boxes — pull one out and the next one is ready for another person. If inks, dyes and fragrances bother you, your sensitive skin won’t have to worry about any of that with the Kleenex Hand Towels. The 9.1 inch square towels are small when compared with other paper towels, but they’re softer than the stuff you find in a public restroom, and they’re more absorbent. Unlike most public restroom paper towels, I needed only one Kleenex Hand Towel to dry my hands.

Sure, it’s just paper towels from a box and a roll of paper towels is significantly cheaper, but have you ever tried tearing off a sheet from a paper towel roll with two wet hands, trying not to get any other sheets wet. I don’t know about you, but when I try it, I look like I’m attempting to bring back a dance from the 1990s. I think the convenience and ease of use are worth a little extra scratch for your guests.

Kleenex Hand Towels In Use

While the Kleenex Hand Towels are soft and absorbent, the box they come in is a little more impressive. The shape of the box allows you to place it on top of a towel rack, creating a convenient dispenser in case you don’t have much room on your bathroom countertop due to a prescription drug addiction or a toothpaste variety addiction.

Item: Kleenex Hand Towels
Price: $2.99
Size: 60 towels
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Very absorbent. More hygienic than a communal hand towel. Great for having in the bathroom at parties. Convenient box that can be placed on a towel rack to save counter space, but not towel rack space. Ink, dye and fragrance-free. Softer than paper towels found in a public restroom.
Cons: Might be pricey for some. Smaller than most paper towels. A communal hand towel being like a gangbang. Dances from the 1990s. Breaking the five-second rule. Making out with a dog instead of using a napkin. Prescription drug addictions. Toothpaste variety addictions.

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