The Impulsive Buy » Shaving

The Week in Reviews – 11/1/2008

Marvo — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 10:01:56 +0000

Sick of candy from last night? This week’s Week in Reviews is 100% candy-free.

No one comes out a winner in a battle between Maruchan Instant Lunch and Nissin Cup Noodles. It’s a culinary Catch-22. (via Second Rate Snacks)

This movie had me at “porno.” (via Pajiba)

Thanks, advancements in technology. Not only do I have to buy the latest and greatest iPod every year to enjoy my music, TV shows, podcasts, and movies, I now have to buy the latest and greatest Philips Norelco Bodygroom to keep my crotch lawn from turning into a forest. (via The Message Whore)

(Insert lolcat picture here with caption “I can has leen poket cheezburger?”) (via I Ate A Pie)

The only quiche I like is the quiche I put on a Scrabble board to kick your ass. Bitches! (via Heat Eat Review)

Edge Energy

Marvo — Sat, 31 May 2008 03:38:48 +0000

For many men, and some women, shaving their facial hair is a chore, but for me I don’t consider every shave an unpleasant task, I think of it as an experience for all five of my senses….oh, except taste because licking shaving blades is unpleasant and doesn’t taste good. Most people just want to get it done and over with. I want to embrace the journey and savor every moment like it’s my very last shave. I want to feel each individual hair being cut at the closest possible point; I want to hear the metal blades gently scrape along my skin; I want to smell the testosterone I release into the air that lets me know I am a man without looking between my legs; and I want to see what I look like if I had a white beard.

To reach that level of excitement, it takes more than a can of shaving cream and a disposable razor. You don’t give Leonardo da Vinci just a brush and expect him to create the Mona Lisa or The Last Supper. He needs oil paints, an easel, and a palette. You don’t give Joe Francis a video camera and assume he will create another Girls Gone Wild video. He needs drunk chicks, really drunk chicks, Girls Gone Wild t-shirts, and permission forms that drunk chicks can easily sign.

All you need to get a great shave is a sharp razor blade, some pre-shave oil, a really good shaving cream that doesn’t foam up a lot, hot water, aftershave balm, and some Jack Johnson music. The razor blade, pre-shave oil, shaving cream, and hot water will help glide the blade across your skin and the contours of your face. The aftershave balm will help soothe your skin. The mellow Jack Johnson music will help relax your facials muscles and pores, but don’t get too into it, or else the soothing sounds of Jack Johnson’s voice and guitar strumming will put you into a coma that can only be broken with death metal.

The new Edge Energy shaving gel is not something I would add to my shaving repertoire. First off, I’m disappointed that despite being called Edge Energy and comes in a green color reminiscent of an energy drink, it doesn’t contain anything that might boost my energy, like caffeine, ginseng, cocaine, green tea, testosterone, coffee, or a Richard Simmons Sweatin’ to the Oldies workout. Instead, Energy is the name of its supposed scent, which consists of cedar, leather, ginger and musk. Secondly, it doesn’t lubricate as well as some of the other products I’ve used from companies like the Art of Shaving and the King of Shaves. They are a little pricy, but if you’re going to have to do something every day or every other day, shouldn’t you use something that feels good to use. Thirdly, Edge Energy doesn’t seem much different than all the other Edge shaving gels. On its can, it brags about more aloe and moisturizers, but I really didn’t notice them.

Overall, the shave I got was average and not as pleasant as my usual shave. If you’re already an Edge shaving gel user, then I could recommend this to you, but if you shave every day, you really should move up to something better.

Item: Edge Energy
Price: $3.99
Purchased at: Wal-Mart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Gelly then foamy. Cool black can. With more aloe and moisturizers, but I didn’t notice them. My shaving experience.
Cons: Average shave. Doesn’t seem much different than all the other Edge shaving gels. Nothing in it that gives a user energy. Energy scent isn’t really noticeable. Joe Francis is a dick.

The Art of Shaving Sandalwood Shaving Cream

Marvo — Thu, 06 Jan 2005 11:08:40 +0000

Sometimes I have a taste for the finer things in life, which I blame on my addiction to the television show MTV Cribs.

Unfortunately, I can only dream of enjoying the finer things, because I’m a cheap bastard and the salary of a quasi-product review blog editor is zero.

So instead of enjoying $50 Godiva chocolates, I eat a 59 cent Hershey’s chocolate bar. Whenever I have the urge for $100 Russian caviar (fish eggs), I eat $2.99 chicken eggs. When I wanted to buy a $35,000 Lexus IS-300, I instead settled for a $15,000 Toyota Corolla. Finally, when I wanted a $100 bottle of Cristal, I ended up with a $4.99 wine in a box.

As some of you know, I went to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. While there I happened to come across The Art of Shaving Shop in the Mandalay Bay Resort. I was familiar with The Art of Shaving products thanks to my subscription to Men’s Health magazine, which I have to make me pretend I’m healthy.

The Art of Shaving products are known to be…Um, how can I put it?

Their products are considered cheap for those who wear a monocle and top hat, like the Monopoly guy, but DAMN expensive for EVERYONE else.

So I’m in the store and I decided to try some shaving cream. I looked at the price and it was twenty frickin’ dollars. You can get TEN cans of Edge Shaving Gel for twenty bucks. I thought that price was crazy, but then I remembered the Godiva, caviar, Lexus, and Cristal I couldn’t have and decided that this may be the only chance I get to enjoy one of the finer things in life.

I ended up plopping down twenty dollars for the sandalwood shaving cream. (I decided on the sandalwood, because it’s known to be an aphrodisiac and I need all the help I can get with the ladies.)

The texture of the shaving cream is much like Noxzema Cream. The sandalwood aroma was very nice and I guess it really does work as an aphrodisiac, because it turned me on to myself.

One of the cool things about this shaving cream is that I can use it without a brush or with a brush. However, I didn’t know what kind of brush to use, since I’ve never used a shaving cream that gave me the option of using a brush.

Using logic, I figured a toothbrush creates a good lather with toothpaste, so why not shaving cream? Unfortunately, my logic sucks and the toothbrush took away whatever dead skin cells I had and much of my epidermis.

Later, I found out that there’s something called a shaving cream brush, which The Art of Shaving has, but the bristles are made out of (I’m not making this up) badger hair. (Editor’s Note: There are several beaver jokes I could put right here, but I will refrain.)

One thing I noticed about this shaving cream is that it doesn’t lather up as much as other shaving creams and gels, which I think allowed me to have a closer and smoother shave.

Overall, I’m getting better shaving results with The Art of Shaving Sandalwood Shaving Cream and now that I’m enjoying one of the finer things in life, I need to purchase a monocle and top hat.

Item: The Art of Shaving Sandalwood Shaving Cream
Purchase Price: $20.00!!!
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Closer shave. Nice aroma, which may turn you on to yourself.
Cons: Holy crap! DAMN expensive! Affordable for those who own Boardwalk, Park Place, and the rest of the Monopoly board.