REVIEW: Planters Banana Sundae Mix

Planters Banana Sundae Mix

Why does Mr. Peanut walk with a cane?

Because he has “planter” warts.

I said, because he has plan– BOOOOOOO!

Now that I put that visual in your heads, who’s hungry?!

I absolutely love banana snacks. If an ice cream joint has banana on their flavor list, that’s my new spot. Ya know how Apple fans camp outside stores for days to get a new iPhone? I do that in anticipation of new banana snacks hitting the shelves.

Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but the point stands – I love me some banana, and I don’t even care if you take that sentence out of context.

So with that said, when I saw Planters put out a snack mix boasting banana as the main attraction, I had to try it. Surely there was no way this mix could possibly disappoint a rabid banana lover such as me, right?


Can we just let banana be the star for once?!

Planters Banana Sundae Mix 2

The mix consists of honey roasted peanuts, chocolate covered peanuts, vanilla yogurt covered peanuts, strawberry covered peanuts and boring old, hard as a rock banana chips. What a letdown.

Unless the banana chip is the first thing you bite into, that flavor gets lost in the shuffle. The chocolate and sugary yogurts instantly overpower it.

Those coated pieces are way too big. I wish they were all 25 percent smaller at least, and I wish they mixed in a banana yogurt coated peanut to go with the rest.

The vanilla yogurt covered peanuts are oddly flavorless. The strawberry peanuts don’t pack much flavor either. I actually forgot they were there. I’m a huge fan of yogurt covered raisins and this coating pales in comparison to what I’m used to. Also, I know raisins don’t really mesh with this flavor profile, but I was really missing that texture in every bite.

The chocolate candy covered peanut is the star of the mix. They taste like slightly softer peanut M&Ms. Outside of the honey roasted peanuts, they were the only ingredient I’d eat a bag of by themselves. But this isn’t a “chocolate” mix, it’s a “banana” sundae mix. I didn’t sign up for overpowering chocolate.

This is a trail mix though, so the point is to eat everything at once. And as a whole, it’s reasonably successful. Does it taste like a banana sundae? Not really. Maybe one out of five bites might taste like one.

It’s almost like you’re eating a handful of Goobers. The chocolate and the peanut crunch come to the forefront more than anything else.

Planters Banana Sundae Mix 3

And with that in mind, the fact there are two yogurt coated peanuts, honey roasted peanuts, lightly caramelized banana chips, and giant chocolate balls makes this a very sweet trail mix. Tossing a few regular salted peanuts in the mix probably wouldn’t have hurt at all. I prefer my mixes to have a sweet and salty balance. The sugar lingers in your mouth, so while it’s not a big bag, I had no desire to finish it in one sitting.

I love bananas in their true form, but I love them even more in their artificial form. They loaded this mix with chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry candy coatings and just arbitrarily threw in little chunks of banana chips. There should have been multiple banana varieties. Someone get Mr. Peanut on the horn, I have a bone to pick with him.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 Tbsp – 150 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 3 gram of protein..)

Item: Planters Banana Sundae Mix
Purchased Price: $2.94
Size: 6 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Anything with banana is still decent. Chocolate pieces were great. Satisfies sugar craving. Honey roasted peanuts.
Cons: Banana flavor gets lost. Ridiculous 3 Tbsp serving size. Corny dad jokes, Yogurt pieces are too big and have a weak flavor.

QUICK REVIEW: Planters Cocoa Peanuts

Planters Cocoa Peanuts

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 6 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Peanuts are well coated in cocoa powder and stays on the peanuts. Mild cocoa flavor reminds me of hot cocoa powder. Smells like a Butterfinger. Honey and salt on peanuts also help give them a nice sweet and salty flavor. If your taste buds love the one-two punch of chocolate and peanut butter, they will like these. These will get me to eat more peanuts.
Cons: Comes in small six-ounce container, which is half the size of Planters standard cardboard containers. Occasionally, they’re a little too salty. Cleaning the cocoa powder on fingers is a mostly salty experience. If having too many sweeteners bother you, there are four in the ingredients list: sugar, honey, corn syrup, and fructose.

Planters Cocoa Peanuts Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 oz. – 160 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 4 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 6 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 180 milligrams of potassium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Planters Roasted Onion & Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts

Planters Roasted Onion Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts

Peanuts are an afterthought to me.

A bowl of peanuts on your table is like a glorified piece of decoration, much like tacky wax fruit. It’s saying to us at a party, “Hey I sorta exist too!” as it sits amongst the bowls of potato chips and Chex mixes. They are similar to a forgotten acquaintance you met at a seminar where the relationship went as far as “…remember how drunk we were last night? Awesomesauce.”

I even think my gin martini narrows its eyes and dismisses the bowl of peanuts at the worn bar counter. Its pseudo-Asian cousin, wasabi peas, has taken their place at many watering holes. Peanuts just can’t catch a break.

The point is, I never crave peanuts, pay attention to peanuts, or think about peanuts. They are just “there” like some existential failed puzzle from Myst or a useless +1 cracked sash from Diablo I/II/III (no one counts Hellfire).

Sure I crave peanut brittle, peanut butter cups, and chilled peanut sauced noodles, but peanuts themselves? No. Never. Nein!

However, if Planters had their way they would want someone like me to stand up and notice more than Mr. Peanut’s cool monocle. Planters’ idea is to give all of us more than just the ubiquitous honey roasted variety by granting us a roasted onion and garlic variety. Yay! Planters Roasted Onion and Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts have finally been conceived in this millennium.

I can’t think of two more common ingredients guaranteed to inject its flavors on whatever it can get its hands on. The flavors just sound complimentary. When you see garlic or onion, you know it’s not going to be subtle. They will come in, kick your chair from under you, hit on your sister, and urinate on the carpet before saying “eff-off” as they slam the door in your face.

…And with both bold flavors together, I was ready for a They Live-style street fight in my mouth combined with the piles of bodies riddled-with-bullets-climax from John Woo’s Hard Boiled.

But no, Jeff.

Instead, I got a complete collection of each crying scene from every Nicholas Sparks movie made. I was as sad as Stephen Rea’s character at the end of The Crying Game.

Planters Roasted Onion Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts In The Jar

Upon ripping that tedious foil cap, I knew I was in for a mediocre ride to limbo. I could barely smell the onion and garlic, only the roasted peanuts. Hell, the local law enforcement drug dogs probably couldn’t pick up anything but boring old peanuts.

Like a slob, I grabbed a handful and shoveled them into my mouth. Initially, all I could taste was the ghost of scallions before the familiar heavy roast of peanuts plopped down and snuffed it out. There was a strange and unpleasant hint of grass or lawn clippings as well, but that tapered off immediately. It was even more unusual that subsequent mouthfuls lacked any garlic or onion taste at all. Now, the creaminess of the peanuts was still a nice capper but I realized this is probably the only onion and garlic flavored item that actually gets weaker with each bite.

I was annoyed the flavor was barely there. I think people vaporized from a mushroom cloud or a Kaiju attack would make more of an impression. It’s like the impact of shouting some “diss jokes” at a grizzly bear you’re about to fight.

Planters Roasted Onion Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts Closeup

These peanuts were not only disappointing but have created a paradox. If your intent is to get drunk on the onion and garlic flavors, you’re better off eating a spoonful of powdered garlic salt. However, if you like the taste of ordinary roasted peanuts and all that’s left on the shelf are these, then you can’t go wrong.

Planters peanuts are of good quality and that creamy texture the peanuts bring will satisfy most. There is also just the right amount of salt, which is nice. Yet, with the promise of onions and garlic not being honored, it’s no different than when the person you’ve been lusting after says, “I like you as a friend.”

(Nutrition Facts – about 39 pieces – 160 calories, 14 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 7 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 200 milligrams of potassium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Item: Planters Roasted Onion & Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 16 oz. bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Planters trying something new. Shouting “diss jokes” at an angry bear. Creamy texture of peanuts. Monocles. The right amount of salt. The synth opening to Boy George’s “The Crying Game.”
Cons: Planters trying something new…and failed. Eating lawn clippings. Weak flavor that becomes weaker with each handful. Getting the “I like you as a friend” bullcrap.

REVIEW: Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter

Planters NUT-rition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter

I think Planters should consider renaming their NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter to NUTrition Elvis Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter in honor of the King’s love of peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Also, to see if anyone calls the phone number on the bottle to ask what little men with pointy ears have to do with this peanut butter.

If Elvis was alive today, I think he might enjoy this peanut butter mixture that includes dried bananas, granola, and peanuts. And for those of you Weekly World News readers who think he’s still alive and living in a cabin in Montana under the name Sivle Yelserp, I’m sure he’s enjoying this peanut butter mixture with bacon…and sharing it with his aliens buddies from the Archon 7 galaxy.

To be honest, it’s refreshing to see a major company like Planters do something different with peanut butter. If you look at the peanut butter section at the grocery store, it appears not a lot of money has been spent on R&D. It’s just a sea of creamy and chunky. With its peanut chunks, crispy granola, and chewy dried bananas, I guess you could call Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter chuewyspy peanut butter.

Having different textures is one of the reasons why I enjoyed Planters’ NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter. But I also enjoyed it because its flavor made me want to put on a sequined jumpsuit, greasy my hair, gyrate my hips hard enough to be censored on a 1950s talk show, and say with a lip snarl, “Thank you very much.” That would’ve happen, but my Bedazzler is out of commission because I overworked it while attempting to put the word “voluptuous” on the back side of a pair of yoga pants, instead of the much shorter “juicy.”

Planters NUT-rition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter Closeup

If you enjoy bananas, I have good news; there’s a little bit of banana flavor in the peanut butter itself. Thankfully, it’s not artificial and it’s not the dominant flavor. I was expecting the added dried banana to be crunchy like banana chips, but was surprised when my molars discovered they were chewy like raisins. As for the granola, well, it’s not really granola. It’s just rice flakes and rice crisps; there aren’t any oats. I’ve eaten enough Nature Valley products to know those two ingredients don’t make granola and I’ve consumed enough Kellogg’s products with cartoon characters on the packaging to know those two ingredients make a breakfast cereal.

With all the mix-ins, you might expect NUTrition Peanut Butter to not be spread-friendly, like chunky peanut butter. But because there wasn’t a dense amount, I found it to be quite spreadable.

Besides not having real granola, another disappointing thing about this peanut butter is that it comes in a 12-ounce jar, which looks dramatically smaller next to the 16- and 18-ounce jars of regular peanut butter. Also, I don’t understand why adding bits of dried banana and rice cereals make the peanut butter an Energy Mix.

Overall, the flavor of Planters’ NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter was a nice departure from plain ol’ peanut butter. It’s quite good and has gotten me curious about the other two Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter flavors — Cinnamon Raisin Granola Nut and Berry Nut.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 tbsp – 190 calories, 120 calories from fat 15 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 7 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Other Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Peanut Butter reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Planters NUTrition Energy Mix Banana Granola Nut Peanut Butter
Purchased Price: $5.19 (on sale)*
Size: 12 ounce jar
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant combinations of peanut butter and banana. Easier to spread than chunky peanut butter. Nice departure from regular peanut butter. Elvis would like it. Elves would like it too. Bedazzlers.
Cons: Including Elvis references when half the readership doesn’t know who he is. Come in 12-ounce jars. Not sure why it’s called an Energy Mix. Granola isn’t really granola. Broken Bedazzlers.

*According to the press release, a jar of Planters NUTrition Peanut Butter retails for $3.99. I paid more because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

REVIEW: Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts

Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts



It’s as if my mouth has been turned into a portal to Hell and demons and molten lava are bursting out of it. Please make it stop. MAKE IT STOP!

It’s so hot I may never taste again because my taste buds have been destroyed by the heat. Not even ice water can soothe the scalding feeling in my mouth. It feels like I just spent seven minutes in heaven with a fire breathing dragon. IT’S SO HOT! Tell my family that I love them.

The previous words are what I might’ve said if the Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts was five alarm spicy, but I think Planters is being a bit generous by calling it “Five Alarm Chili.” Even if they called it Planters Four Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts, I’d still think they were overstating how spicy they are.

But then again, me likey the spicy so I may have different standards than other people when it comes to spiciness. Over the years, I’ve eaten a lot of spicy foods and during that time I’ve come up with my own spicy food scale.

One Alarm – Light burn. Quickly dissipates. Water isn’t necessary.

Two Alarm – Mild burn. Lingers a little. Sips of water might be needed.

Three Alarm – Good burn. A little bit of sweating. Large swigs of water necessary. Makes me slightly uncomfortable.

Four Alarm – Really good burn. Face excreting sweat and tears. Glasses of water necessary. Milk would be a better option. A little regret.

Five Alarm – Holy Hell that is hot! Face excreting sweat, tears, and snot. Water won’t help. My mouth screams for ice cream to cool it down. Lots of regret. Praying it’s not as spicy going out as it was going in. Lots of leftovers that may not get eaten due to fear.

Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts Closeup

If I had to place the Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts somewhere on my spiciness scale, I’d probably consider it to be Two Alarm spicy. However, I’m fine with that because if it were any spicier, the heat might’ve overshadowed the peanut’s flavor, which is quite good.

When I popped one in my mouth it had a pleasant onion and garlic flavor at first and then the chili pepper flavor quickly followed along with the heat. Unfortunately, the flavoring comes in the form of a powdery coating that doesn’t stick well to the peanuts so most of it ends up at the bottom of the bottle.

Even though I scoffed at Planters for calling these slightly spicy peanuts “Five Alarm,” I have to say I enjoyed scoffing them down in handfuls.

Other Planters Fire Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts reviews:
Junk Food Guy
Brand Eating
Mikey’s Kitchen

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 39 pieces – 160 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 7 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 200 milligrams of potassium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Item: Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts
Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 1 pound
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Combination of flavor and spiciness is addictive. Spiciness doesn’t overpower the flavor. Awesome source of mono- and polyunsaturated fats.
Cons: Not five alarm spicy. Seasoning doesn’t stick well on the peanuts. Eating spicy Five Alarm foods. Spending seven minutes in heaven with a fire breathing dragon.