QUICK REVIEW: Salted Caramel Popchips

Salted Caramel Popchips

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 3.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Sweet, buttery caramel flavor, but that goodness doesn’t last long. The aroma that wafting out of the bag smells like a bag of caramels. No added preservatives. No artificial colors. No saturated or trans fat. Gluten free.
Cons: Much like Katy’s Kettle Corn Popchips, the flavor disappears quickly and most of the time the chip is in your mouth it tastes kind of like unflavored popcorn. Inconsistent seasoning on each chip, sometimes the flavor pops, but most of the time it doesn’t. Salt doesn’t really make an appearance. It’s not called Katy’s Salted Karamel.

Salted Caramel Popchips Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 oz./about 16 chips – 130 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Katy’s Kettle Corn Popchips

Katy's Kettle Corn Popchips

It’s surprising Katy Perry’s likeness isn’t printed on every bag of her Katy’s Kettle Corn Popchips. I’m also stunned Popchips didn’t name the chips Katy’s Kettle Korn, which would’ve created a wonderful visual alliteratio…oh wait, KKK. Never mind.

I’ll never know why Popchips and/or Katy Perry decided to leave Ms. Perry’s curvy body off the bag, but I wish it was on there because I really need a visual palate cleaner, if you will, to remove the image in my head of Larry the Cable Guy’s curvy body on his chip bags.

The list of ingredients that make up Katy’s Kettle Corn Popchips are as simple as the lyrics to Perry’s “California Gurls.” But instead of lots oooooh oh ooooohs, these chips are made of whole grain corn; sunflower, safflower and or canola oil; sugar; salt; and natural flavors.

However, while California Gurl’s hooks are catchy, will forever take up some gray matter in my head, and will occasionally come out of my mouth while washing a car, I can’t say the same about the flavor of Ms. Perry’s Popchips.

Well, actually, there is a memorable moment, but it’s fleeting. It starts once I put one of these chips in my mouth and ends by the second or third chew. What I experience during these milliseconds is a pleasing mostly sweet and slightly salty fusion. However, that flavor quickly dissipates and my taste buds are left with a rice cake-like blandness that makes them feel like they’re on a flavor roller coaster and also wonder, “Is Popchips trying to trick us into a diet?”

Yes, basically, much like Ms. Perry’s marriage to Russell Brand, the flavor ended quickly.

Katy's Kettle Corn Popchips Closeup

Also, these kettle corn-flavored Popchips don’t appear to be as appetizing as Popchips’ potato and tortilla varieties. They look like…um, how can I say this using a reference from the 1980s that’ll force some of you to use Google, Wikipedia, or IMDB to know what I’m writing about? Oh, I know. They have a texture that’s much like the skin of Alex’s navigator, Grig, in The Last Starfighter.

However, these chips do have a hearty crunch to them. So if you’re one of those people who likes to annoy others by chewing with your mouth open, these chips will help boost the sound of your masticating. They also have no preservatives, artificial flavors, or artificial colors. So if you’re one of those people who likes to annoy others by being smug about the all-natural foods you eat, these chips will help boost your pontificating.

Overall, I guess you could say I didn’t like Katy’s Kettle Corn Popchips as much as Ms. Perry liked kissing a girl.

(Nutrition Facts – 28 grams/about 16 chips – 130 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 3.2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Katy’s Kettle Corn Popchips
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 3.5 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant sweet and salty flavor. All-natural. No saturated or trans fat. Great crunch. The way Popchips are made. The Last Starfighter.
Cons: Sweet and salty flavor doesn’t last long. Doesn’t look as appetizing as other varieties of Popchips. Not having a Last Starfighter sequel when the movie totally set one up.

REVIEW: Popchips Ranch Tortilla Chips

Popchips Ranch Tortilla Chips

The Egyptians loved triangles.

I mean, they preserved their dead leaders in them, trusting that this big 5.9-million-ton, three-dimensional triangle would protect the soul of their worldly demi-gods and unleash curses onto unsuspecting grave robbers. That’s faith, people.

Call me a sucker for massive archaeological structures, but I think those ancient Egyptians had something going with their devoted adoration of triangles. Triangles do great things for the world. They inspired cinnamon scones and chiming musical instruments and, now, these Ranch Tortilla Popchips.

Without question, I dig these modest little chips. Crispy and a tad crunchy. The texture’s slightly less dense than a Dorito, but definitely more dense than a Cheeto (a Chorito??).

I like my flavored chips with lots of flavor dust on each chip and those Popchip folk made sure they didn’t skimp on this bag. If this chip were a geological formation, the ranch dusting on these suckers forms the entire crust while the stone-ground corn base serves as the tortilla planet’s core. (Wouldn’t that be cool: if the world’s core was made of tortilla chips?)

Popchips Ranch Tortilla Chips Cavern

Just imagine: all that ranch-y, tortilla goodness in the Earth’s core…

The corn is a great foundation, tossing around texture and a dash of sweetness all willy-nilly. And, just when you think you’re done, you get that little nostalgic hint of ranch dust that gets left on your fingers, which is perfect for consumption upon your completion of said crunchy snack.

Plus, they’re ranch! Ranch is the culinary embodiment of fun. It calls forth hammocks and lemonade and trampolines. Alchemists accidentally discovered it in their search for gold and uncovered that it made broccoli especially tasty. Without question, ranch, done well, is great, and it’s definitely been treated with the love and care it deserves here.

Popchips Ranch Tortilla Chips Closeup

With only 4 grams of fat and 120 calories for sixteen chips, these are pretty dad-gum good for you. They’re trans-fat free, void of red dye #5, and have 10% of your daily needs for calcium. If King Tut had been buried with a stash of these babies, I’ve no doubt his calcium-fortified spirit would’ve punched out the Egyptians’ half-jackal, half-human god of Death (that’s Anubis, for all you Jeopardy fans out there…).

The biggest conundrum? These buggers are hard to find. I discovered these sitting between the Flintstone vitamins and overpriced nail polish while I was pandering about at a Duane Reade pharmacy, but have yet to witness them appearing in the groceries. Perhaps it’s because they’re in the test-market phase of their life or perhaps it is because I live on a sinking rock in the Atlantic Ocean, but, either way, they’re so good that I hold on with hope that they will appear more often in the future.

Triangles are simple, which is beautiful, for it is with this simplicity that triangles create especially cool things. There’s the Flatiron building, cherry turnovers, mysterious voids in Bermuda and, now, Popchips in Tortilla form. No question. The ancient Egyptians had it right all along: triangles are amazing.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 chips per serving/28 grams – 120 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Popchips Ranch Tortilla Chips
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 3.5 ounce bag
Purchased at: Duane Reade
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. Low fat. No artificial dyes. Ranch dust. Calcium. Triangles. Trampolines. King Tut’s mummy punching the Ancient Egyptian god of Death in the nose.
Cons: Difficult to find. Not yet available in plain. Kooky grave robbers. Overpriced nail polish. The world’s core is not made of tortilla chips.