Item: Ha?agen-Dazs Stracciatella Gelato
Purchased Price: $2.99 (on sale+coupon)
Size: 14 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delightful. Easier to scoop than regular Häagen-Dazs ice cream. Smooth gelato. Lots of chocolaty shavings made with cocoa butter; it looks like it was in a chocolate hailstorm.Fun name to say.
Cons: It doesn’t really taste that much different than ice cream. Chocolaty shaving are like speed bumps as you try to enjoy the smooth gelato. Looks and tastes like this ice cream. Name also sounds like an expensive violin and a throat infection. Only 14 ounces.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 270 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Crazy Food Dude, Matt Hearts Ice Cream (video)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Liz Lemon Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: FREE (I had a coupon)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: More of a sweet lemon than tart. Nice lemon aroma. Lemon Greek frozen yogurt and blueberry swirl go well together. Thank goodness it wasn’t only lemon. Easy to scoop. The addition of lavender sounds gross, but it gives the flavor a little something, something.
Cons: Although made with lemon oil, it has an almost artificial lemon flavor. Doesn’t contain live and active cultures. 30 Rock no longer on the air. Blerg! Thankfully, it’s not Lutz’s Lemon.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 180 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.
Other reviews: On Second Scoop, Junk Food Guy, The Ice Cream Informant

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Pineapple Passionfruit Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: FREE (I had a coupon)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: It’s really Greekin’ good. Passionfruit pretty much overwhelms the pineapple, which is fine with me because I enjoy passionfruit. Smooth, creamy, and easy to scoop. Tastes like I’m in Hawaii…oh wait, I’m already in Hawaii.
Cons: Could use more pineapple chunks. Pineapple lovers might be upset with its mild pineapple flavor. Doesn’t contain live and active cultures. Hugging pineapples.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 180 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Junk Food Guy,

Item: Lay’s Wavy Roasted Garlic & Sea Salt Potato Chips
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice mild creamy garlic flavor. Satisfying crunch. Ruffles have r-r-r…oh wait, wrong chip. Seasoning builds up on fingers, giving me a little treat after my willpower tells me I should stop eating the chips.
Cons: Not enough garlic flavor to make me unapproachable when I breathe. I was expecting it to have a stronger garlic flavor. A little hard to find.
Nutrition Facts: 1 oz. – 160 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 340 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and 10% vitamin C.
Other reviews: Chip Review, Fatguy Food Blog

Item: Jolly Time Butter Made With Smart Balance Popcorn
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 3 bags/box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Respectable butter flavor. Made with 100 percent whole grain. No diacetyl butter flavorings or trans fat. No partially hydrogenated oil. Contains polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. Gluten free. May make watching the movie Battleship a little more tolerable.
Cons: Only three bags in the box. The texture of the popcorn feels a step below Orville Redenbacher microwave popcorn. If you eat a third of the bag (which is really easy to do), it’s not really healthy anymore.
Nutrition Facts: 1 cup popped – 40 calories, 20 calories from fat, 2.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, and less than 1 gram of protein.

Item: Pillsbury Limited Edition S’mores Toaster Strudel
Purchased Price: FREE (I had a coupon)
Size: 6 toaster strudels
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes better than S’mores Pop-Tarts. Crispy, flaky crust. Wonderfully gooey filling and icing. Balanced chocolate and creme flavor. There is enough icing to draw a campfire on top of it, but it’s a bit hard to draw nicely with the packet.
Cons: Doesn’t really taste like s’mores. Made with partially hydrogenated oil, so there’s a trivial amount of trans fat. Really lazy folks may not like having to add the icing themselves. Can’t eat them straight out of the box (well, you can but I wouldn’t recommend it).
Nutrition Facts: 1 pastry with icing – 180 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

*made with partially hydrogenated oil

Item: Ha?agen-Dazs Peanut Butter Pie Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 14 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Rich peanut butter flavor that makes me want to spread it on a piece of bread and then top it with jelly. Holy crap! It’s loaded with chocolate cookie pieces and peanut butter ribbons. Smooth ice cream. So much peanut butter flavor. So good it makes me wish it was a pint instead of 14 ounces.
Cons: Being limited edition. Those with peanut allergies, stay far away. Still only 14 ounces.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 310 calories, 21 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Junk Food Guy, The Ice Cream Informant, One Step at a Time

Item: Lean Cuisine Spa Collection Salmon with Basil (New Recipe)
Purchased Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 9 5/8 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Not completely horrible. Bland basil sauce. Decent sized piece of salmon. Awesome if you love peas! Lots of vegetables. It’s a new recipe, which means the previous recipe was worse than this.
Cons: It’s a new recipe, but I think they need another recipe. So many peas that they should rename it Lean Cuisine Spa Collections Peas with Salmon. Salmon was a bit dry. Not enough basil sauce to coat pasta and salmon.
Nutrition Facts: 250 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 500 milligrams of sodium, 450 milligrams of potassium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

Item: DiGiorno Pizzeria Primo Pepperoni Pizza
Purchased Price: $5.99 (on sale)
Size: 18.7 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Makes regular DiGiorno pepperoni pizza taste like swill. Lots of pepperoni evenly distributed. No artificial flavors. Noticeable amounts of basil, oregano, and thyme that gave the pizza a nice herb flavor. Crispy crust. Preservative free crust. Sauce had a nice bold tomato flavor.
Cons: If it’s better than a regular DiGiorno pepperoni pizza, why keep selling that swill known as regular DiGiorno pepperoni pizza. As bad for you as DiGiorno’s regular pepperoni pizza. Cheese seems to be the same stuff from their regular pizzas.
Nutrition Facts: 1/4 pizza – 340 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 800 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Freezer Burns, Junk Food Guy, Junk Food Critic

Item: Post Grape-Nuts Cranberry Vanilla Fit Cereal
Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 19.2 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent tasting with the cranberries. Good source of fiber. Lots of dried cranberries. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. According to the front of the box, it appears to be awesome for high school cross country runners.
Cons: Bland without cranberries (but that’s not going to happen too often). Could use more protein. Puffed barley gets soggy super quick in milk. Not really sweet for something that has 9 grams of sugar. It has vanilla?
Nutrition Facts: 2/3 cup (w/o milk) – 220 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 210 milligrams of potassium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 30 grams of other carbohydrates, 6 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.
Other reviews: Breakfast Bowl, Mr. Breakfast

Item: Crystal Light Liquid Pomtini
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 1.62 fl oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant sweet pomegranate flavor with a slight sourness at the end. Makes plain ol’ boring water taste much better. One bottle makes 24 8-ounce servings. Zero calories. Designated drivers can make their waters or club sodas taste better.
Cons: It’s definitely got the “pom” part, but lacks the “tini”. Leaves a weird coating in my mouth for a few moments. If you hate propylene glycol, you’re not going to like this. Artificial sweeteners are more noticeable as the water gets warmer.
Nutrition Facts: 1/24 bottle – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.

Item: Monster Ultra Blue Energy Drink
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 16 oz.
Purchased at: CVS
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful sweet raspberry flavor. The feel of the textured can. 140 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per can. Easy to drink. Zero sugar and calories. Monster Energy’s ability to make wonderful zero calorie energy drinks. If you despise aspartame, this energy drink doesn’t have any.
Cons: Stroking the textured can too much. May not contain aspartame, but it probably does contain other ingredients I shouldn’t consume in large quantities. Perhaps too easy to drink.
Nutrition Facts: 8 oz. – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% niacin, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12, and 100% pantothenic acid.
Other reviews: Drink What, RecapHub

Item: Pepperidge Farm Dessert Shop Dark Chocolate Cheesecake
Purchased Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Size: 8.6 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Decent number of cream cheese drops and dark chocolate chunks. It’s new. It’s a cookie.
Cons: Lacks strong cheesecake flavor. Cookie falls apart easily. Kind of lacks chocolate flavor too. Did I mention the cookie falls apart easily? One cookie provides almost a quarter of your daily intake for saturated fat.
Nutrition Facts: 1 cookie – 160 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Junk Food Guy, Brand Eating

Item: International Delight Light Mocha Iced Coffee
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Half gallon
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like chocolate milk made with Hershey’s syrup, which I liked. 1/3 fewer calories than regular International Delight Iced Coffee. Has around 40 percent less sugar than regular ID iced coffee. Contains 56 milligrams of caffeine.
Cons: If you like the flavor of coffee, you probably won’t like this because the coffee flavor is masked very well. Thinner than regular ID Iced Coffee. If you dislike artificial sweeteners, it has sucralose and ace K.
Nutrition Facts: 1 cup – 100 calories, 25 calories from fat, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and 10% calcium.

Item: Dreyer’s Outshine Coconut Waters with Banana
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 6 bars
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful flavor. Nice balance of coconut and banana. Easy to bite through. No fat. Decent source of vitamin C. Made with coconut water and banana puree. Sooo awesome to eat on a muggy day here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Cons: Don’t get much flavor when licking or sucking on it. Despite it containing bananas, there’s no potassium listed on the nutrition label. The sadness that sets in after finishing one on a muggy day.
Nutrition Facts: 1 bar – 60 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 20% vitamin C.

Item: Pringles Frank’s RedHot Original
Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 5.96 oz. can
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Actually tastes like Frank’s RedHot Sauce. Had a strong, lip-puckering vinegar presence. Frank’s RedHot Pepper Cayenne Pepper Sauce Power listed high-up as an actual ingredient. Hot sauce flavor was not too overpowering.
Cons: Oddly uneven flavor powder distribution. Would have liked less lip-burning and more mouth-spicing. Bright red powder will stain your fingers. Vinegar may be too strong for some.
Nutrition Facts: 1 ounce (approximately 15 crisps) – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 330 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of protein, and 6% vitamin C.
Other Pringles Frank’s RedHot Original reviews: Junk Food Guy, Chip Review

Item: Pringles Chile y Limón
Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 5.96 oz. can
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Had a nice chile flavor, not just heat. Chile, vinegar and lime flavors played well together. The heat that was present was well-balanced.
Cons: Lime flavor was a bit too strong for my taste. Chile should have been more dominant. Ingredients are vague (“spice”, “natural flavor”). Please stop staining my fingers with bright red powder.
Nutrition Facts: 1 ounce (approximately 15 crisps) – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 220 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 2% calcium, and 6% vitamin C.
Other Pringles Chile y Limón reviews: Junk Food Guy, Fatguy Food Blog, Spoil Your Dinner

Item: Pringles Salsa de Chile Habanero
Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 5.96 oz. can
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Habanero heat sneaks up on you, then punches you in the back of the throat. Faint tomato/garlic flavor hits first, which is nice. Legitimately hot potato crisp.
Cons: Salsa flavor is not that pronounced. Habanero may be too hot for some. You may sweat or breathe heavily if you eat these in public. More bright red finger staining.
Nutrition Facts: 1 ounce (approximately 15 crisps) – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 140 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of protein, and 6% vitamin C.
Other reviews: Chip Review, Junk Food Guy, Spoil Your Dinner

Item: Ha?agen-Dazs Bourbon Pecan Praline Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 14 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: It tastes like I could get drunk from it. Bourbon ice cream had a wonderful flavor that went well with the buttery and sweet praline pecans. Decent amount of crunchy pralines pecans. No bourbon burn, which would be weird with an ice cream. Didn’t get drunk from it.
Cons: At times, the combo of bourbon ice cream with brown sugar bourbon swirl was a bit cloying. Bourbon not listed in ingredients. Limited edition. Didn’t get drunk from it, but I did find myself making out with the container, so maybe I did.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 280 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Matt Hearts Ice Cream

Item: Simple Orange Juice with Banana
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 58 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: A pleasant orange juice variation. Slight banana flavor complements the orange juice. Good source of potassium. Orange juice not from concentrate. Provides 100 percent of our vitamin C.
Cons: Has only 10 milligrams more potassium than regular Simply Orange. Barely noticeable banana aroma. I wish it had a bit more banana flavor. Doesn’t come in a huge jug I can do curls with to build my biceps.
Nutrition Facts: 8 fl oz. – 120 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 460 milligrams of potassium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 25 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.

Item: Atkins Day Break Farmhouse-Style Sausage Scramble
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 7 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Decent flavor. Sausage has a pleasant mild flavor. Looks like a lot of food before being microwaved. Makes my kitchen smell like bell peppers. Lots of sausage. Surprisingly, non-dried out eggs have flavor. Awesome source of protein. 5 grams of Atkins Net Carbs for you Atkins dieteers.
Cons: Everything shrinking dramatically after being microwaved. Some eggs were dried out. Cheese not noticeable. Awesome source of saturated fat. Pricey.
Nutrition Facts: 370 calories, 260 calories from fat, 29 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 400 milligrams of cholesterol, 1030 milligrams of sodium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 22 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 20% calcium, 35% vitamin C, and 10% iron.

Item: Wrigley’s Hubba Bubba Dr Pepper Bubble Gum
Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: 5 pieces
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes almost like Dr Pepper. Soft chew when it has flavor. Flavor lasts for a few minutes. If I had the ability, I could blow bubbles the size of my head with this gum. Sweetened using sugar, corn syrup, and artificial sweeteners.
Cons: My inability to blow bubble gum bubbles bigger than my fist (I have small fists). Only five pieces. Not a soft chew after the flavor goes away; it gives my jaw a low impact workout. I feel like I need to brush my teeth after chewing it.
Nutrition Facts: N/A
Other reviews: TV and Gum Are Awesome

Item: Doritos Jacked Ranch Dipped Hot Wings
Purchased Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 10 oz. bag
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasing tangy hot wing sauce flavor with a bit of creaminess. There’s a slight chicken flavor thanks to the ingredient chicken fat. Hearty crunch. Huge chips. New Doritos logo.
Cons: Red hue makes them look evil, but they aren’t very hot. Not as addictive as most other Doritos varieties. Smelling them will burn nostrils, just like real hot wings. Not for MSG haters.
Nutrition Facts: 1 oz. – 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 290 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Junk Food Guy, Brand Eating, Chip Review

Item: Tostitos Cantina Thin & Crispy Tortilla Chips
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 9 oz. bag
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like other Tostitos tortilla chips. Simple ingredients. Crispy. With some Corona beers and these chips, you could make your Taco Bell meal seem like it’s from a cantina.
Cons: Tastes like other Tostitos tortilla chips. Too fragile for thicker salsas.
Nutrition Facts: 1 oz. – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Spoil Your Dinner

Item: Burger King Loaded Tater Tots
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8 pieces
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: At times, it kind of tastes like a loaded baked potato. Slightly crunchy exterior. Longer than BK’s Cheesy Tots. Better than Burger King’s fries. Available in 8, 10, or 12 pieces. BK’s changing menu.
Cons: Not a lot of bacon flavor and can’t taste the bacon at all in some tots. Light cheese flavor. Potatoes inside looked more like mashed potatoes than tater tots. Not as satisfying as BK’s Cheesy Tots. Made with partially hydrogenated oil.
Nutrition Facts: 380 calories, 22 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 640 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Junk Food Betty, Brand Eating

Item: Hungry-Man Garlic Sauce Saute Chicken Power Meal
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 12 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Hearty meal. Lots of corn, carrots, and broccoli. Pasta cooked perfectly. Nutrition facts are closer to Lean Cuisine meals than to other Hungry-Man meals. Corn tastes like the stuff in Swanson frozen meals, which I kind of like. Long plastic tray make me feel like I’m eating from a trough.
Cons: Need a stronger garlic sauce or more of it. Could use a bit more chicken. Pricey. Chicken was more salty than flavorful, and was a little dried out. Left a fine grittiness in my mouth.
Nutrition Facts: 320 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 630 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 20 grams of protein, 30% vitamin A, 10% calcium, 30% vitamin C, and 10% iron.

Item: Totino’s Pizzeria Cheesy Garlic Rolls
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 19.8 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant garlic flavor. Easy to make. 40 rolls per bag. Better when heated up in the oven. There’s some about the crust that I love.
Cons: Garlic not strong enough to fend off vampires. Slightly weird buttery flavor. Innards oozes out in the oven. Innards oozes out in the microwave. Trans fat.
Nutrition Facts: 6 rolls – 210 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Fat Guy Food Blog

Item: Totino’s Pizzeria Meatball Marinara Rolls
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 19.8 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Its flavor reminds me of a sausage Totino’s Party Pizza. Decent tasting sauce. Lots of sauce. Frozen ones can be used to pelt your enemies.
Cons: Sauce, cheese, and meat oozes out in the microwave. Sauce, cheese, and meat oozes out in the microwave. Not a lot of cheese. Good source of trans fat. Being the target of people throwing frozen Totino’s Pizzeria Rolls.
Nutrition Facts: 6 rolls – 200 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 350 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Fat Guy Food Blog

Item: Morningstar Farms Mediterranean Chickpea Veggie Burgers
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 4 patties
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Mild chickpea flavor with a bit of onion and garlic. 100% vegetarian. Low fat. Good source of fiber. They look and taste better than Morningstar Farms regular veggie burger patties. Decent source of protein.
Cons: Chickpeas tend to explode in the microwave. Spinach and tomatoes aren’t noticeable. Patties will look small on top of premium buns.
Nutrition Facts: 1 burger – 110 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 170 milligrams of potassium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 10 grams of protein.

Item: Yoplait Pro-Force Mixed Berry Burst
Purchased Price: $2.49 (on sale)
Size: 4 3.5 oz. cups
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice generic berry flavor. Fat free. Good source of calcium. No berry seeds. Good source of protein and calcium. Contains live and active cultures. Product name doesn’t have a Z that replaces an S.
Cons: No chunks of fruit; blueberry, strawberry, and raspberry flavors come in the form of puree. An adult eating kids yogurt. Product name is kind of silly; it’s as if they’re saying they want to force protein into kids.
Nutrition Facts: 1 container – 90 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 12 grams of sugar, 9 grams of protein, and 25% calcium.

Item: Yoplait GoGurt Twisted Strawberry Mango Tango
Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 8 2.25-oz. tubes
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Strawberry Mango combo is tasty. Very portable. Contains live and active cultures. Gluten free. No spoon needed.
Cons: It’s disappointing the yogurts were not in separate chambers. Two colors in every tube that look like one color when I open the box. Not that great of a source for protein and calcium. Trivia printed on tubes will help your kids become know-it-alls.
Nutrition Facts: 1 tube – 70 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and 10% calcium.

Item: YoCrunch Yopa! Blueberry with Granola
Purchased Price: 62 cents (on sale)
Size: 5.3 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice blueberry flavor. Fruit on the bottom. Good source of protein. Contains live and active cultures. Granola provides a nice crunch.
Cons: Unnecessary exclamation point in name. Not as tangy as other Greek yogurt I’ve had. My urge to say, “Yopa! Gangnam Style!”
Nutrition Facts (with topping): 180 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 13 grams of protein, and 15% calcium.

Item: YoCrunch Yopa! Vanilla with Toasted Almonds
Purchased Price: 62 cents (on sale)
Size: 5.3 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Surprisingly good (I thought it was going to be boring). Vanilla-y with a hint of almonds. Crunchy almonds. It’s got live and active cultures: it’s what digestive systems crave! Almonds provide more protein and vitamin E. Good source of protein.
Cons: May seem like a boring flavor to some. Not as tangy as other Greek yogurt I’ve had. Stop it with the exclamation points. See, I didn’t use one in the previous sentence; I totally could’ve. Has same amount of sugar as a Pop-Tart.
Nutrition Facts (with topping): 200 calories, 8 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 55 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, 15 grams of protein, 20% calcium, and 20% vitamin E.

Item: YoCrunch Breakfast Blends with Post Fruity Pebbles
Purchased Price: $1.50 (on sale)
Size: 4 3.75-oz. cups
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Might possibly be better than Fruity Pebbles in milk. Fat free. Gluten free. Crispy Fruity Pebbles cereal. Contains live and active cultures. Perfect Fruity Pebbles to yogurt ratio.
Cons: Should’ve been Cocoa Pebbles (which is better). Size is only enough to be part of a complete breakfast. Not a great source of calcium.
Nutrition Facts: 90 calories, 0 grams of fat, 80 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, and 10% calcium.

Item: Market Pantry 90 Calories Fiber & Chocolate Chewy Bars
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 5 bars
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant chocolatey flavor and aroma. Nice chewiness; a bit chewier than a Rice Krispies treat. Same amount of fiber and cheaper than Fiber One 90 Calorie Chocolate Chewy Bars. There’s a coffee-like flavor at times.
Cons: Bars are on the small side. Only 5 bars, so if you’re sharing a box with someone, you may have to fight for the last one. .02 ounces lighter and half a gram more fat and saturated fat than Fiber One version.
Nutrition Facts: 1 bar – 90 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

Item: Market Pantry Peanut Butter Crunchy Granola Bars
Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 12 bars/6 pouches
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Edible. 18 whole grains per two bars. Crunchy. Easy to chew. Two bars per pouch so you can share or eat one and then smash the other on the ground while a starving person watches.
Cons: Weird peanut butter flavor. Weak weird peanut butter flavor. They kind of look as if they’re decomposing. Extremely awesome at making crumbs.
Nutrition Facts: 2 bars – 190 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 6 gram of protein.

Item: Market Pantry Fuji Apple Sparking Water Beverage
Purchased Price: 69 cents
Size: 33.8 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: So good that I could drink a lot of this. When well chilled, it tastes very close to Fuji apples. Inexpensive. Zero calories, fat, and carbs. Naturally flavored.
Cons: Contains no juice. Artificial sweeteners stand out when it gets a little warm. No caffeine, but that’s usually the case with sparkling water. So good that I could drink a lot of this.
Nutrition Facts: 8 oz. – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 gram of protein.

Item: Market Pantry Mango Colada Fruit Smoothie
Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 8 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant pineapple flavor. Awesome source of vitamin C. Tastes not bad when water is used instead of juice. The sound of ice being crushed in a blender.
Cons: Not much coconut flavor. Not much mango flavor. Yogurt comes in the form of a powder packet. If you like thick smoothies, you’re going to have to add ice. Might go well with rum.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 package (made with water) – 140 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 6% calcium, and 50% vitamin C.

Item: McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish
Purchased Price: $2.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Adorable wittle sandwich. Decent fish flavor. Soft bun. Topped with a lot of tartar sauce. Fish comes from suppliers with sustainable fishing practices.
Cons: Cheese just added orange color. Tartar sauce could use a bit more tang. Exterior not crunchy. Adorable, but wittle.

Item: Jack in the Box Fish Sandwich
Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: At times it tasted like a McChicken Sandwich. Crispy exterior. Decent tartar sauce.
Cons: At times it tasted like a McChicken Sandwich. Needs a better name. Could’ve used more tartar sauce. Shredded lettuce falling out. Dry innards. Basic bun.

Item: Burger King Premium Alaskan Fish Sandwich
Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Nice crunchy exterior. Premium bun makes it look taller. Thicker fillet than other fast food fish sandwiches.
Cons: Filet has a weak fish flavor. Slightly dry interior. Bun overwhelms flavor of the fish. Tartar sauce didn’t have a strong flavor.

Item: Carl’s Jr. Charbroiled Atlantic Cod Fish Sandwich
Purchased Price: FREE (had coupon for free sandwich, reg. $4.99)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Good fish flavor and it’s lightly seasoned. Decent tartar sauce. Points for not doing a fried fish sandwich. It has tomatoes, which other fish sandwiches don’t. Wider than other fast food fish sandwiches.
Cons: Cardboard-thin fish fillet. Weak wheat bun. Putting way too much lettuce in my sandwich.
Other reviews: Man Reviews Food, My Burning Kitchen

Item: Wendy’s Premium North Pacific Cod Fillet Sandwich
Purchased Price: FREE (had gift card via Wendy’s to try sandwich, reg. $3.69)
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Nice crunchy exterior (thanks panko). Sturdy buttery bun. If you hate shredded lettuce because it keeps falling out of the sandwich, you’ll like the lettuce leaf this sandwich uses.
Cons: Weak fish flavor. Weak breading flavor. Weak tartar sauce without any tang. Pale lettuce.
Other reviews: Fast Food Geek, Brand Eating

Item: Weight Watchers Smart Ones Thin Crust Pepperoni Pizza
Purchased Price: $2.39
Size: 4.4 ounces
PointsPlus Value: 8 points
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Better tasting than I thought it would be. Comes with crisping tray. Box turns into cooking platform (Transformers…More than meets the eye!). Crispy crust on the outside. Pepperoni had a nice spice. Good source of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats.
Cons: Kind of sad looking. Microwave oven preparation only. Most of the crust was so chewy that it gave my jaw a good workout. Bland tomato sauce. Cheese looked dried out. Unless you take gigantic bites, you’re not going to get pepperoni in every bite.

Item: Weight Watchers Smart Ones Turkey Bacon Melt Quesadilla
Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 2 pack
PointsPlus Value: 6 points
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Soooo much cheese that even when a lot of it gets lost on crisping tray, there’s still a lot of cheese. Nice smoky, cheesy, and tomato flavor. My goodness there’s a lot of cheese. Never mind fruits, this has 7 grams of fiber. Good source of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats.
Cons: Lots of cheese end up on the crisping tray. Only filling enough to be part of a complete breakfast. Microwave oven preparation only. Cheese oozes out all over the place.

Item: Weight Watchers Smart Ones Chicken Slider
Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 2 pack
PointsPlus Value: 5 points
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: They’re sooo adorable! Who’s a wittle one? Yes, you are. Mostly soft, bun. Decent chicken patty thickness. Quick to prepare. Appropriate slider size (2.75 inches in diameter). Good source of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats.
Cons: Chicken breading didn’t have much flavor or crunch. At times, the chicken patty had a weird unrecognizable flavor. Bun did get hard in some places. Makes me yearn for some White Castle.

Item: Weight Watchers Smart Ones Exclusive Flavor Spicy Chicken Slider
Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 2 pack
PointsPlus Value: 5 points
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Soft, but sturdy bun. Mild spiciness at the back end. Not awesome, but a decent tasting snack. Easy to prepare. Good source of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. White Castle has nothing to worry about.
Cons: Some parts of the chicken patty were tougher than others. Microwave only. Breading not at all crunchy. Spicy heat gets lost with the heat coming from the microwaved sandwich. Why do I taste pickles when there are no pickles?

Item: Market Pantry Chocolate Fudge-Filled Cereal Bars
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8 bars
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: A nice snack. Smells like chocolate cake. Strong chocolatey flavor thanks to the gooey fudge filling. Inexpensive when compared with Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Bars. Healthier than a chocolate candy bar. Contains vitamins and minerals.
Cons: Gritty cereal bar texture. Wrappers make bars appear longer than they really are. Makes me sad Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain didn’t come out with a chocolate cereal bar.

Item: Archer Farms Sweet Potato Tortilla Chip Rounds
Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 14 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. Not completely bland. Resealable bag. All-natural. Real sweet potato chips. Round shape makes them good to flick without worrying about poking someone’s eye.
Cons: Weak sweet potato flavor. Taste pretty much like regular tortilla chips. Not as good as these, which have a stronger sweet potato flavor. Not sure what kind of dip to use with them.

Item: Good & Delish Mini S’mores
Purchased Price: $3.49 (on sale)
Size: 5.75 ounces
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: A nice sweet treat. Decent milk chocolate. Graham cracker is still crunchy. Resealable bag. Easy to juggle.
Cons: Inconsistent marshmallow flavor; some had stronger flavor than others. Not a whole lot in the bag. Not good to stick over fire.

Item: Market Pantry Egg, Cheese, Sausage Breakfast Wrap
Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: 2 wraps
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent size. Decent flavor. Despite the use of tiny sausage bits, wrap had good sausage flavor. I could taste the cheese! Good source of protein.
Cons: Somewhat pain the in ass instructions (defrost 30% for 2 minutes, flip, microwave on high for 45 sec.-1:30 minutes). Too firm eggs. Small bits of sausage in the omelet. Edges were dried out. Made with partially hydrogenated oils.

Item: Yoplait Strawberry Original Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes almost exactly like regular Yoplait strawberry yogurt. Live and active cultures. Real strawberries mixed in. It’s a pint, not 14 ounces, like some other companies. Don’t have to deal with the stupid lip Yoplait yogurt cups have that prevent you from getting every bit of yogurt.
Cons: Tastes too similar to regular Yoplait strawberry yogurt. Not as creamy as other frozen yogurt. A bit too airy. Replacing daily regular yogurt consumption with daily frozen yogurt consumption.
Other reviews: On Second Scoop, Fro-Yo Girl

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Drizzlers Blueberry Waffles
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 6 waffles & 3 topping packets
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Traditional Eggo waffles. Not having to use teeth to open topping packet. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Topping made with real fruit and slightly better for you than syrups named after women.
Cons: Just regular Eggo waffles; no blueberries baked in. Topping didn’t have much flavor and might have a hard time satisfying a sweet tooth. If you eat two waffles at a time, a box will last you only three breakfasts.

Item: Lean Cuisine Bistro Chicken Salad Additions
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 7 1/2 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Vegetables! Easy and quick to prepare. Vegetables! Crispy onion straws had more flavor than chicken. Vegetables. Yellow carrots sound exotic.
Cons: Hot vegetables mixed with chilled vegetables is a weird combination. Bacon in dressing is a step down from having real bacon bits. Crispy onion straws had more flavor than chicken. Dressing takes awhile to fully thaw. Crispy onion straws look more like crispy onion random shapes. Asparagus will make you pee smell.

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Chocolatey Chocolate Chip Wafflers
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 8 waffles
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Fine eating without syrup. Makes a wonderful aroma come out of your toaster. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Chocolate chips in every bite. Syrup isn’t necessary, but it does enhance its flavor. Trick people into thinking you’re eating burnt waffles.
Cons: Not really packed with flavor. It’s good enough that I’m sad they’re limited edition. Hard to tell if you’re overcooking these in the toaster. Being tricked into thinking someone is eating burnt waffles.